Unexpectedly Dauntless
by Eponine564
Summary: What if Tris and Tobias were friends in Abnegation? Will they ever be more? This is my take on a no war story. Fourtris? Uris? Trizeke? Something else? Only time will tell, though I have decided. Not sure how long it will go since the ideas just keep coming. Apologies for any glaring typos and mistakes as I don't really have the time to fully proof read everything before I post.
1. Two Weeks

Two Weeks

I can only take credit for my own ideas...everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

_Tris_

As I lie in bed, staring at the plain grey ceiling, I can't help but plan out every moment of the next two weeks. I know I need to sleep, but sleep seems to be avoiding me these days. I can't seem to turn my thoughts off at night. It is not as bad during the day when I can stay busy, but at night all I can do is track the time. I try to distract myself with the details of everything for the next hours, days, and weeks. It doesn't help! Two weeks until the ceremony. Two weeks until everything changes.

Two weeks. I glance at the clock on my desk and sigh as I read 4:06 am. I quickly calculate that there are 13 days, 12 hours, and 54 minutes until the ceremony officially begins.

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly brush it away. I can't cry. It is selfish to spend my time crying I remind myself... but I am selfish. I have never been good enough for Abnegation and I am not sure I ever will be. But, I have to try. I have to be the good little Abnegation girl that everyone expects me to be. I have done it for the last 14 years; I can keep it up now.

I finally give up on sleep and get up to start the day. I take a quick shower, dress in my plain grey dress, and tie my long blonde hair into a bun. I have not looked in a mirror for almost 3 months, but I am certain I look exactly the same as I always do. I will be getting a haircut in 12 days and can look then.

I pull the grey sheets and scratchy grey blankets over my bed and straighten the few items in my room to perfection. My spare sets of clothing are arranged perfectly in the closet and my night clothes are folded neatly and tucked away under my pillow. My desk is in perfect order, school books and supplies stacked neatly next to my small lamp and alarm clock. I double check that everything is in order, after all it is selfish to leave a mess, and quietly slip out of the room.

I slip down stairs and begin to work, keeping an eye on the time. It is 4:46 when I begin the laundry. There is not much since I did it just yesterday, but there are a few towels, a set of sheets, and two sets of clothing that belong to our neighbor. Helen has been unwell and we have been doing her cooking and cleaning. She is a kind old woman who has lived next door since my parents moved into our home. Once I finish scrubbing, rinsing, wringing, and hanging the laundry it is 5:20. I scrub down the entire kitchen and begin to prepare breakfast.

Today is Caleb's turn to prepare breakfast, so I decide to surprise him by doing it myself. As I prepare the simple meal of scrambled eggs, plain toast, and milk, my mind again begins to wander. It is 5:46 and my family will be waking up in 14 minutes. 5:46 which means that there are 13 days, 11 hours, and 14 minutes until the ceremony. I am working mechanically, not really paying attention to what I am doing, when I reach to remove the cast iron skillet from the stove... without an oven mitt.

I quickly drop the pan back down, turn off the burner so the eggs don't burn, and begin to run cold water over the already blistering skin. I hear a sound behind me, but am too consumed with my burn to see who has entered. I stifle the sob building in my throat, it is selfish to make others worry about you, but it is still clear that I am hurt.

"Beatrice, sweetheart, what happened? " my mother softly asks.

"I just burned my hand, it is nothing." I reply, trying to keep an even, steady voice.

My mother softly sighs and leads me to the table before pulling out the small first aid kit from under the sink. She lays out all the supplies on the table and then pulls my hand into hers.

"What happened, sweetheart?" she asks while applying ointment to the burn and beginning to wrap my hand in a soft grey bandage.

"It was nothing, really. I was cooking and I got distracted." I softly reply.

"So it seems. You have been very distracted lately. Am I correct that this is all about a certain event taking place in about 2 weeks?" She replies, not really expecting an answer.

Just as I start to reply, my father and brother walk into the room. "Later" my mother mouths and turns to greet them. Their arrival provides a temporary reprieve, but I know I will not be able to avoid answering for long. She is the only one who knows what is going on with me. She knows me better than anyone in the world, well, almost anyone.

I finish breakfast quickly, and since Caleb offered to clean up, I decide to find an excuse to get out of the house as fast as possible.

"I am going to go deliver Mrs. Jackson's laundry, take the factionless donations to the drop off center, and then run a few errands. I won't be late." I say as I turn leave.

"Don't forget, sweetheart, we will talk when you get home." My mother says with a smile.

I head out the door with a wave, arms loaded with deliveries. I run next door to drop off the laundry, politely listen to Helen tell me the same story for the fifteenth time, and excuse myself to complete my stops. By the time I finish at the donation center, it is 8:15 and I have 45 minutes until I need to be at the spot. I have plenty of time but start on my way there, taking the long route.

I sit in the shade of my favorite tree on the edge of town, waiting for my best friend to arrive. My mother is the only one who knows about my relationship with him, it is not proper for a girl to spend so much time alone with a boy, but she doesn't care. I plan to spend as much time as I can with him for the next 13 days, 8 hours, and 11 minutes. I plan to take advantage of every moment until the moment everything changes, T.J.'s choosing ceremony.

I can't wait until he gets here. My best friend. My favorite person in the world. My T.J.

Tobias James Eaton.


	2. Time Together

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

_Tobias_

Choosing day is just around the corner, and my life will never be the same again. After 16 years of having your life decided for you, now it's your choice.

I am on my way to meet her at our favorite spot in the faction. We always meet in the same place, under the big willow, in the part Abnegation that no one ever goes. It is near the train tracks, right at the edge of the faction. We are not supposed to be friends, but we are not always the best at following the rules. I guess that is why we've been friends for so long.

Six years ago I was just a lonely 10 year old boy, without a single friend, then I met 8 year old Beatrice Alessandra Prior. My father never allowed me to spend time with any of the kids from school, for fear that I would do something that would embarrass him. We instantly become best friends and have only gotten closer over the years.

We have decided that we need to spend as much time together as we can. There is no school until after the ceremony so we have more free time. She knows that I am leaving Abnegation, though she doesn't know what faction I'm choosing. Honestly, I don't know what faction I'm choosing, I just know that I can't stay here. I decided that a long time ago. I think I was about 11 or 12 when I first mentioned that I would be leaving. This was never a surprise to either of us, but as time goes by, it's getting harder to think about saying goodbye to her. She is the only person in the entire faction that I care about, the only one I will miss.

As I walk towards her quietly, I can't help but think about how beautiful she is. She would never believe it if I told her, but it's true, she is beautiful. She is sitting with her back against the tree, eyes closed, deep in thought. She looks so peaceful.

I sneak up around the tree as quietly as I can and grab her side, right where she is ticklish. She shrieks and before I can react, I have an elbow hitting me in the stomach. Man that girl has lightning reflexes!

"Dang Tris, where did you learn to hit like that? Do you sneak out to Dauntless when people aren't looking?" I say while rubbing my stomach.

"Well, T.J., you should know by now not to sneak up on me like that. You know the consequences!" She replies while trying to suppress a smile.

I slide next to her, shoulder to shoulder, my back against the tree. She rests her head on my shoulder, and we sit in silence for over an hour. That is one of my favorite things about our relationship, though we have fun together, we can also just sit together quietly. We sit this for a few more minutes when I feel her shift to look at me.

"So, what do you want to do today?" She asks with a bit of mischief in her voice.

"I don't know, but it sounds like you have something in mind." I reply with a wink.

"Well... I was thinking... maybe we could jump on the train and ride it all the way around. Or, maybe I was hoping we could make just a few stops." She says, smirking.

"I guess" I say, faking an annoyed tone.

"That's what I thought. Well it just so happens that the next train should be by in about..." She checks her watch. "...5 minutes. Come on, get up!"

She pulls me to my feet and starts walking to the flat spot along the tracks where we always jump on the train. We started jumping on the train about 3 years ago. It started as a dare. She said that there was no way I could possibly be fast enough to jump on the train like the Dauntless. Never one to turn down a dare, I agreed to try, as long as she did it too. We both did it with a lot of trouble. When we landed in the open train car, I could barely catch my breath, but she was fine. She has always been so fast. Maybe it's due to her being so small. At 14 she is inches shorter than all the other girls her age, and much skinnier. She always says she is too small, but it works for her.

"Come on T.J., I can hear the train coming." She says, taking my hand. We wait until the engine has just passed by and begin to run. It's easy now,and we jump in the third car with no problems. She giggles softly as she sits with her legs hanging out of the car.

"So, Miss Tris, where are we headed?"

"I thought we could go to the orchards in Amity for a while, then go to the movie theater in Dauntless, maybe a little shopping while we are there, then head back home. I have all the clothes we need right here. I don't have to be home until 5, so we have all the time we need." She says, patting the bag she has slung over her shoulder. We secretly collected outfits to fit in when we go to the other factions.

"Works for me. Marcus is never home before 7, so as long as I am home in time to make his dinner, I am fine." Her smile fades a bit when I mention my father's name. She hates him as much as I do, and has for as long as I have known her.

The day we met will always be etched in my memory. It was the anniversary of my mother's death, and I guess I asked my father too many questions about her. It was nothing new for him to beat me, but that night was particularly bad. After he finished and stormed out of the house, stating that he was going back to work, I went outside to take the laundry off the line. I did not even notice that there was blood seeping through my shirt until I heard a tiny voice behind me.

"Excuse me." She whispered. "You seem to be bleeding a bit. Do you need any help? "I shook my head without a word but winced I pain at the movement.

"Come on, I can see that it hurts. Let me help you. Momma, I mean my mother, taught me how to apply bandages. Please let me help."

"Ok" I sighed. "Can you wait here for a few minutes while I get the supplies? "

She nodded enthusiastically and I turned to go inside for the first aid kit from under my bed. By the time I got back down stairs and outside she already had all the laundry off the line and neatly folded in the basket.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you. My name is Tobias, by the way, Tobias James Eaton." I said. She whispered something I couldn't hear in reply. "What?"

"Beatrice" she said a bit louder "my name is Beatrice Alessandra Prior. It is nice to meet you. Can I call you T.J.?"

"I like that Bea-" I paused. "How about I call you Tris?"

"Tris. I like it! I have never had a nickname before, other than my mother calling me sweetheart."

"Me either" I said. It was considered selfish to want to go by a name other than the one that your parents gave you.

Tris quickly and gently applied salve and bandages to my back, then handed me a clean grey shirt. I reached to take my bloodied shirt from her but she put it behind her back, insisting that she would wash it and bring it back tomorrow. I protested but she insisted since it was her turn to do the laundry at home. She folded it up and stuffed it in her small bag.

"Well, I better get going. I will see you tomorrow T.J."

"Bye Tris. Thanks again."

At that she turned and skipped away, her long blonde ponytail bouncing behind her.

I smile at the memory. What started out as a terrible day, turned into the best day of my life. The day I met the best person in the world, my best friend, my Tris.

"What are you smiling about?" She says, breaking me out of my daydream.

"Nothing. Just thinking. "I say, not wanting to tell her what I was really thinking about.

"Well, you better snap out of it. It is almost time to jump."

I peer down the tracks and can see the orchards coming closer. We stand to get ready for the jump. At just the right moment we both leap from the train and land easily. I am excited about the day ahead of us.


	3. Amity

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

_Tobias _

After we jump off the train, we quickly make our way to the little shed that we discovered a few years ago. It has been abandoned for a long time, and is the perfect place to change into our Amity clothes. She is wearing a yellow sundress and red sandals and I have red pants with a yellow shirt. It is amazing how different we look out of our normal grey clothes. We leave our Abnegation and Dauntless clothes behind and head towards the orchards.

As we reach the tree line, she stumbles on a rock, and I take her hand to steady her. She smiles at me and we continue walking, hand in hand. We stay along the back edge of the orchard, picking a few apples and pears as we go.

We always feel so relaxed when we are here. We stroll along, taking about everything and nothing. There is nothing we don't know about each other, we have no secrets. She knows all my faults, yet she doesn't judge me. She knows about Marcus' anger and abuse, but never pities me. She is always there for me when I need her, even when I won't admit it. I don't know how I am going to be able to leave Abnegation without her, but I have no other choice, I can't stay here.

We have been in Amity for just over an hour, which means that the next train should be by in about 30 minutes. We head back to the shed and change into our Dauntless clothes, black head to toe. We shove the other outfits in Tris' bag along with the scavenged apples and pears and head to the train tracks just in time to jump on. We sit quietly on the way to Dauntless, but I can tell she has something on her mind.

-  
_Tris _

Sitting on the train with Tobias, I can't help but think about how things are going to be after he leaves. I don't know what I am going to do without him. I have seen him every day for the past 4 and a half years, since he had the flu and missed school for a week.

Tobias never missed a day of school, he would have been severely punished if he did. So, when I saw that he was not there, I was worried that something had happened.

I went straight to his house after school. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I could see the light on in his bedroom window, so I sneaked to the window and peeked in. He looked so weak, and he was all alone. I knocked lightly, and he looked surprised as he turned towards me. His face lit up when he saw me and he slowly walked to the window. He opened the window and I climbed in. I had never been in his house before, in Abnegation you don't go into each other's homes.

I spent every afternoon that week doing the same thing, going to T.J.'s house right after school, fixing him something to eat, and sitting with him until just before his father was due to be home. I made sure that everything was in order before I left, because even though he was sick, Tobias was still expected to keep the house cleaned and have dinner ready by 7 when Marcus returned. We have never gone a day without seeing each other since then, even if it's just for a few minutes.

We have never been the typical well behaved Abnegation citizens, we always seem to be breaking the rules, yet we never get caught. Today's adventure is far from the first time we have decided to sneak out to the other factions. We often go to Amity, since we like the orchards, and Dauntless when we want to just want to have fun and be free. We don't often visit Candor or Erudite, there is not much we like to do there.

We snack on pears while we ride. I lean back against the wall of the train car, and the next thing I know, I am being softly awakened by T.J. I had my head on his shoulder and must have dozed off for about 15 minutes. We are close to our next stop, time to get ready to jump. Tobias grabs my bag, slings it over his shoulder, and takes my hand.

We leap off the train and run towards "the Pit", it is where the best stuff in Dauntless happens, and is one of our favorite places to be.


	4. Dauntless

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.  
I am so disappointed that Wattpad did not save my update, so I had to start this chapter over and I know I missed some things I added the first time. _

_Tobias_

Once we arrive at the Pit, Tris checks her watch we have extra time before the movie is scheduled to start. We wander from store to store, not buying much, just a few small trinkets. She gets as simple dark grey scarf, plain enough to blend in at home, but she will know where it really came from. I see her looking at a silver necklace with a tiny raven charm. I notice her smile as she runs her finger over the bird, before she puts it down, and we move on through a few more stores.

Tris says she needs to run to the restroom before the movie starts , so while she is away, I rush back to the store, buy the necklace and hide it in my pocket. When she returns, we head to the theater, pay for our tickets and snacks, and find our seats. We always sit at the back of the room, to avoid being noticed. We manage to see a movie about once a month, and it dawns on me that this is probably the last one we will get to see before I leave.

The movie is ok, but honestly I am only halfway paying attention to what is going on. I'm too distracted by my own thoughts. I am still not 100 percent sure which faction I should choose. I know what Tris would say if I asked her. She has said for years that when I leave Abnegation, I should join Dauntless, but I am still not sure. It's so vastly different from what I am used to, but I guess that is the point of leaving.

Once the movie is finished, we head right to the train tracks and wait for the next train. We have about 30 minutes until the train should be by, so we sit in the shade, shoulder to shoulder. I'm lost in my own thoughts about my future, my faction, my decision when Tris says something that I miss.

"Sorry Tris, I was distracted, I didn't hear what you said." I say, coming back to reality.  
"I said... that you looked distracted, and I was wondering what was on your mind."  
"Honestly..."I say slowly "I was thinking about the ceremony, it seems so close."  
"I know." She sighs. "13 days, 1 hour, and 12 minutes."

I look over at her and see a single tear roll down her cheek. I gently reach up and wipe the tear away, leaving my hand on her cheek, and she rests her face against my hand. I pull her closer and softly kiss the top of her head. It kills me that I am the one that is causing her pain.

"Come on Trissy" I say, trying to lighten the mood. "It won't be so bad. We will be able to talk and to see each other." Our friend Robert, who has already told us he is transferring to Amity, agreed to help us get messages to each other.  
"I just wish..." I continue "I wish, I knew what I was going to do."  
"You know what I think T.J., and before you say anything, you are wrong about yourself. You are selfless enough, brave enough, smart enough, kind enough, and honest enough. You could pick any faction that you want, but I still think Dauntless is your best option. I mean, you can already jump on the train." She says with a half smile.

At that moment, as if on queue, we hear the train coming down the tracks.

_Tris _

Once we board the train, we slip our Abnegation clothes over our Dauntless, I guess there are some benefits to the shapeless Abnegation clothing. We ride silently until we reach our stop. When we arrive, I have about 15 minutes until I need to be home. I hug Tobias and quickly head home.

When I get there, no one else is home yet so I run up to my bedroom, slip off my Dauntless outfit, hide my bag, and head down stairs to begin cooking dinner. I finish cooking our meal of chicken and rice just as my father and brother walk in the door, since Caleb went to work with our father today. My mother arrives about 5 minutes later, and we sit down to eat dinner together. Once we have finished, my father offers to clean up, and I head to my room.

My mother follows me to my room, closes the door, sits on my bed, and pats the spot next to her. I slide in beside her and she hugs me tightly. She knows how close Tobias and I are, and even though most Abnegation mothers would not approve of our friendship, she is perfectly fine with the time we spend together. She knows that he is transferring, even though no one ever told her.

"So how are you doing, sweetheart? " she asks.  
"I don't think I can even explain how I feel." I reply, laying my head on her shoulder. "I just don't know how to _be_ without him."  
"I know that you will miss him terribly, but I still think that he needs to leave." She whispers. I look at her in confusion and as if she can read my thoughts, she continues, "I know that most people think that those who transfer are faction traitors, but I know that things are bad for him at home with Marcus. Aside from that... Remember that I am a transfer too."  
"I know that, and I would never ask him to stay, but I am going to miss him so much."  
"Well, sweetheart, I know that you will still be able to see each other sometimes. We both know that you are pretty good at getting out to the other factions. " She says with a wink.

We snuggle and talk for a while longer before she tucks me in and kisses me goodnight. She has never been the typical, reserved and detached, Abnegation mother, and for that I will forever be grateful. Just before I go to sleep, I check the clock one last time. 10:46 pm.

12 days, 18 hours, and 14 minutes.


	5. Passing Time

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tobias

The next days are a blur, as Tris and I spend almost all of our time together. Some days are action packed, while others are relaxed and peaceful.

12 days to go...

After yesterday's activities, we decide to spend the day relaxing. We head to the pond that is just outside of Amity. We have been here quite a few times and have never seen anyone else, so we feel safe that we can spend the day here undiscovered. I bring us a picnic lunch and Tris brings her normal bag, though I am not sure what she has packed, since we don't need outfits like when we go to other factions.

Once we get to the pond, Tris pulls out the bag and I learn what she has in mind. She pulls out two swimsuits and tosses me one. I am not so sure about this, I have never been swimming before. We both find somewhere private to change and meet back up at the little dock on the pond. We both climb into the water and she takes off swimming. I didn't know that she could swim.

She teaches my how to swim, we have our lunch, lay in the sun on the dock, and talk pretty much the whole time. All too soon, it's time to head back home.

11 days...

Today we only have 2 hours to spend together so we don't go far. We just walk along the edge of the faction and talk about my test. Marcus has prepared me for the test, I know what to expect and how I am supposed to react. Although I don't trust him at all, I know that I need to do as he has instructed. There is not enough time today, but we make use of every moment.

10 days left...

We go back to Dauntless today, we heard that there was a new movie at the theater, and want to get to one last movie before I leave. The movie was really good, it was a typical Dauntless action packed film, about a rogue set of guards and the trouble they get into while protecting the factions. After we leave the theater, we wander through the shops, get a snack, then head back home.

9 more days...

Marcus is going to be gone until tomorrow evening because he is in Amity for meeting with other leaders. Tris comes to my house right after breakfast and is planning to stay until tomorrow afternoon. Her mother knows that she will be with me, but her father and brother don't have a clue. Her mother is covering for her. She knows that Tris is safe with me and that there is never anything more than friendship going on when she stays with me. We spend the day talking, reading, laughing, and just being together. It is a great day.

8 days until I leave...

I wake up, and for a moment am confused as to where I am, then I notice Tris tucked tightly into my chest as she sleeps. We must have fallen asleep on the couch last night. She looks so peaceful in her sleep and I am on once again reminded that we have just over a week until I leave. I have such mixed feelings about transferring. Although I know I would never stay here with Marcus, it hurts to know that I can't see her every day.

I shift slightly, trying not to wake her, but she is a light sleeper and wakes up anyway. She look up at me, smiles, and I gently kiss her forehead. We eat breakfast together and just hang out until the early afternoon, when she has to head back home.

7 days to go...

We head back to Amity today. We go to the orchards and pick some fruit then buy a few things that are not always available in Abnegation at market in town. When we get back home and jump off the train, we wander slowly along the tracks. We left the extra fruit in a box, that we marked for the factionless, on the train. We always try to leave a little bit behind when we get extra, since they rarely get any fresh food, usually just canned goods. As we walk,we snack on fresh grapes, a luxury that we have only had a couple times.

6 days until the ceremony...

We go to Erudite today. We don't go there often, but Tris likes the bookstore, so we go occasionally for her to get a few new books. She likes all different types of books, but her favorite are action packed mysteries. While we are there, she gets 4 new novels, 2 leather bound journals, and a book of poetry by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. She is Tris' favorite poet.

We head back early, relax under the willow tree, and spend the next few hours with her reading me poems. My favorite is called "How Do I Love Thee?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

We both end up falling asleep, me leaning against the tree and her head on my lap. When we wake up, I realize that we onlyhave 10 minutes until she has to be home. We quickly stuff the books in her bag, she kisses my cheek, and takes off towards home at a sprint.

5 more days...

We head back to the pond today and spend about 5 hours just swimming, splashing, and floating in the cool, refreshing water. I asked her before, how she manages to get away every day and she explained that her brother is going to work with their father. Since her mother knows that we are spending time together, there is no one else that would notice.

Even though Caleb is less than a year older than Tris, he is very protective of her. She hates that he tries to tell her what she can and cannot do, where she can and cannot go, who she can be friends with, etc. I have met him a few times and he seems ok, but there is just something about him that puts me on edge.

4 days...

I only get to spend an hour with her today so we just talk by our tree.

Marcus insisted that I go to work with him today so that he could coach me on everything that I am going to do when I take my aptitude test. He has told me exactly what to do to get Abnegation as my result. I will do as he has instructed, but he has no idea that I plan to leave the faction regardless of my results.

He finally allows me to leave his office, a few hours before he is scheduled to leave, because he has a big meeting with the leader of Candor that he doesn't want me around for. That's when I head to see Tris and tell her about my "training" with Marcus. She hates him, and has made no secret of that fact.

3 days until I leave...

Tris' father Andrew had to go to Amity today for an overnight stay and Caleb went as well. Her mother, Natalie, took the day off as well, so I spend the whole day at their house with the two of them. It is not the first time that I have spent time with Natalie, but never this long. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met. I have known that she was a transfer, but I never knew which faction she was originally from.

While we are talking about my impending transfer, she reveals that she came from Dauntless, and she even shows us her tattoo. She has a small bird on the back of her left shoulder. She tells us it is a raven, which was her father's favorite bird. It is so unusual for anyone in Abnegation to know very much about their parents, after all it is selfish to talk about yourself. We have a wonderful day and I am disappointed when I have to head back to Marcus' home. It already feels like it is no longer my home.

2 days left in Abnegation...

Tomorrow is the aptitude test. I know that I am prepared for everything, but there is still a little part of me that is nervous. Today is the last full day we will get to spend together so we don't waste a moment. We head out early stay out late. Much of what is said and done is a blur, but it doesn't really matter, we are together and that's what is important.

I will be able to see Tris before the test and that eases my mind as I drift off to sleep.


	6. Testing Day

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

_Tobias_

I don't know why I am so nervous for my test today. I already know what to expect since my father prepared me. He told me exactly what I would see and how I am supposed to react. He made it clear that I have to get Abnegation as my result, and I plan to do just that.

My test is not until the afternoon, so Tris and I will spend the morning together. We have a few hours before I have to go to Erudite for the test and we decide to stay close to home. We sit by the willow tree, quietly at first, I have no idea what to say. Reality is sinking in that in a day and a half, I will be in a different faction, living a different life.

Tris is sitting next to me, leaning closely to my side, with her head on my shoulder and her hand gripped tightly with mine. The silence is broken by her quiet sniffle. At the sound of her crying I pull her closer and softly kiss her cheek.

"It's ok Trissy, I promise you that we will make this work. You are my best friend in the entire world and I will not let transferring change that. And who knows, maybe you could transfer to the same faction as me." I am surprised that I get no reaction when I call her Trissy. She usually doesn't like to be called that.

"Speaking of that, have you decided?" She asks while wiping the tears away.

"I still don't know."

"Well maybe your test results will help you choose."

"It won't help me. I know what my results will be." I sigh.

"How do you know?" She asks, confused.

"Marcus told me what to do. "

"Why would you do anything that he says?" She replies with venom in her voice, tone she reserves for discussion of Marcus.

"I just figured that it would be easier to just do what he said."

"I guess." She says and rolls her eyes.

I change the subject and we spend the rest of the time talking about the future and how we will stay in touch. All too soon it is time for me to head to Erudite for my test. She gives me a tight hug, some reassuring words, and I head out.

_Tris _

I watch T.J. walk away, and even though he said he is prepared, I am nervous for him. I slowly walk home to find my mother waiting for me. She immediately wraps me in her arms and I cry into her shoulder. After we talk for a while, she sends me up to my bedroom to take a nap.

I hear knocking at my door and realize that I have been asleep for nearly 3 hours. I open the door, and to my surprise, Tobias is standing at the door. He comes into the room and sits on the bed. I sit next to him and he puts an arm around my shoulders. Neither of us speak for a few moments but then he breaks the silence.

"Nice nap?"

"Well, you know me, always the life of leisure." I grin. "So, how was the test?"

"It was fine, as expected. It was a little strange though. I heard that when you are in a simulation for the test, you don't know it is a simulation... but I did."

"What does that mean.?" I ask.

"I don't really know, but I know it's not normal."

"Do you think it means that you are...?" I start, unable to finish my question. It is a frightening thought that he could be Divergent. I don't feel, like others do, that Divergents are dangerous, but I know that his safety would be in jeopardy.

"I don't know if that is what it means, but I will never let anyone else know." He shrugs.

He only stays a little bit longer before he heads home for the night. He had packed up the few items that he had hidden away and I now have that box hidden in my closet. I will get it to him after he in settled in his new faction. I will see him tomorrow morning, for the last time for who knows how long. He keeps telling me that we will still see each other often, but I have my doubts. I look at the clock.

23 hours and 46 minutes.


	7. Choosing Day

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Be prepared for frequently changing POV.

Tobias

A mixture of excitement and dread overwhelm me as I think about the day ahead. I dress quickly and, out of habit, neatly make my bed. I guess it doesn't matter anymore, I will never have to come back to this room or this house again after today. As of 5 pm today, Marcus' reign of terror over my life will be over. I head out the door, pausing for a brief moment to look back at the place that has been my home for the last 16 years, the place of so many bad memories but a handful of good ones.

I remember my mother sneaking my the occasional piece of candy or other treat. I remember her reading me stories and poems from a book that she kept hidden from my father. I remember her showing me the small trinkets, that she was not supposed to have, from her past. Mostly, I just remember her. I miss her and have since the day she died.

I continue out the door, dropping the key on the table by the door. I will never need that key again.

Tris

I awaken to the sound of my own screaming, my nightmare still fresh in my mind. It all felt so real, so terrifying, so powerful.

I was walking through the orchards of Amity when I heard a scream in the distance. I knew that the source of the sound was my Tobias. I ran as fast as I could,calling out to him as I raced through the trees. I could tell that I was getting closer as the screams got louder and more pained. Just as I came to the clearing, I saw him.

Tobias stood, tied to a tree, and facing him was Marcus with a whip in hand. Blood was streaking his bare chest and running to the ground. Marcus continued to whip him as I came closer. I screamed and Marcus turned to look at me with an evil grin, his eyes glowing red. I ran to stop him as he again raised the whip.

Just as I came within 10 feet of them, I hit an invisible wall. I tried to get around the wall, but it completely surrounded them. I tried to climb over, but there was no place to take hold. I pound on the barrier with my fists, with sticks, with rock, with anything I can get my hands on, but nothing can break through. Tobias slumped to the ground, still tied to the tree, as Marcus pulled a gun from his waistband. I could barely hear the firing of the gun over my own screams.

I can still hear the gun fire, still see the blood and the evil in Marcus' eyes, when I climb out of bed. I rush to take my shower and get dressed. I tell my mom that I will meet her here before we head out for the ceremony and head out the door to see Tobias one last time before he leaves Abnegation. I look at my watch, 9 hours and 46 minutes left.

Tobias

I sit by the willow tree, waiting for Tris. She is running late, which is not normal for her. I am starting to get nervous when I see her running towards me, looking frazzled. I stand and pull her into a tight hug once she gets to me.

"So the ever early Tris can be late sometimes." I say with a grin.

"Well, I figured you shouldn't be the only one who is late to meet up." She smugly replies.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why do you seem so frazzled this morning?"

"Oh, I don't know... just the fact that my best friend, that I have seen everyday for the past 4 and a half years, is leaving in just over 9 hours and I have no idea when I will actually be able to see him again. But other than that, I am just great." She says while rolling her eyes. One thing that I have always been good at, is lightening the mood when she is upset.

"So, Trissy, what is on the agenda for the day?" I ask.

"Well, since we can't really go anywhere without getting caught with everyone getting ready for the ceremony, I think we should just stay here until it'stime to leave. "

"As you wish." I say while bowing.

Tris

The ceremony is to start at 5 pm promptly and I am to meet up with my family at 3:30 to get ready a day head to the ceremony. Not everyone goes to the ceremony each year, but since my father is a faction leader, I have been to every one since I was born.

We spend the rest of the time we have, sitting side by side, talking, laughing, and in general just enjoying the time we have together. The hours pass by all to quickly, and before I an ready, it's almost time to go. I look at my watch and see that we only have 30 minutes until I need to be home and Tobias has to meet Marcus.

I feel the tears streaming down my face before I even realize that I am crying.

Tobias

I look at Tris and see tears rolling down her cheeks. I hate to see her cry, especially since it is over me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my lap. She rests her head against my chest as I gently stroke her back. We have very little time left until we have to head our separate ways. This is just temporary, I tell myself. I shift to help her to her feet and stand in front of her.

"I have a little something for you." I say.

"Really? I have something for you too. Me first." She grins. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a silver pocket watch. On the cover are the initials T.J.E. in grey letters surrounded by flames. "To remember you old faction and to honor your new one. And don't tell me that you haven't decided on Dauntless, I know you better than you know yourself, Tobias Eaton."

I hug her, reach into my pocket to pull out her necklace,and hand her the small black box. She opens the box, and when she sees the silver raven charm, the tears begin to flow again. She takes it from the box and I help her fasten the chain behind her neck.

"I will keep this with me always." She says through her tears.

"As will I." I reply, while stroking my thumb across the watch.

"I hate to say this," I say sadly, "but we have to go."

Tris

He says that it's time to go, and although I know that he is right, I can't deal with the thought. I grab him in a crushing hug and cry into his chest. He holds me for a few moments before gripping my shoulders and holding me at arms length.

"I love you Tobias." I whisper.

"I love you too Beatrice." He replies.

He turns to walk away and after a few steps turns back to me, takes my hands in his, and kisses me. It is everything that I ever could have imagined for my first kiss. It's sweet, soft, gentle, passionate, and most of all loving. He then turns and walks away as I press my fingers to my lips, holding on to the warmth of his kiss.


	8. Choosing Ceremony

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

4:45 pm

I take my seat, next to my mother, in the Abnegation section of the room. I look around at all the faces around me, this is really the only time I ever see so many people from outside of Abnegation. Their expressions vary from terror to elation. The sixteen year olds have their own seating area at the front of each faction ' s section. I am nervously twiddling my fingers when my mom grabs my hand and holds it tightly.

4:46 pm

I see as Marcus and Tobias enter the room. Tobias looks stiff, which is actually funny since the other factions call us that, but I know that it's because he is afraid. He knows what his father's reaction will be, and he has been trained to fear him for his entire life. Marcus, on the other hand, walks in with an air of superiority about him... a very un-Abnegation trait.

4:47 pm

Most of the factions have filed into their sections, except for Dauntless, since they are always late. The Amity are happily laughing and talking. The Candor are talking loudly but more serious. The Erudite are all buried in their books, not really paying attention to each other. The Abnegation are sitting quietly and properly. The Dauntless, well the few that have arrived, are loudly rough housing .

4:48 pm

Tobias turns in his seat, we lock eyes and I give him a small smile. He smiles back and gives a slight nod towards the Dauntless section. He has made his choice and this is his way of letting me know. I know that he is making the right choice.

4:49 pm

My father stands and starts making his rounds by greeting the head faction leaders. Marcus is the head leader in Abnegation, but my father is a good man and strives to keep good relations with the others. He starts by walking to Jeanine Matthews of Erudite, they do not like Abnegation, so the interaction is just a handshake before he moves on.

4:50 pm

He walks to the Dauntless section and shares a few words with the leader, Max. He gets along with Max well enough, but it is always awkward since their personalities are so different.

4:51 pm

Jack Kang from Erudite is his next visit. He seems friendly enough, but there has always been something about him that puts me on edge. I am not sure if it is just because the complete honesty of Candor seems unnatural, or if is just him.

4:52 pm

His last stop is with Amity to see Johannah Reyes. I have always liked Johannah, it seems like she is someone who can be trusted. After a moment, he heads back to out section.

4:53 pm

My father speaks to Marcus for a moment. I can't tell what they are saying, but I can tell by the look on my father's face, that he doesn't like what Marcus has to say. My father works with him on a daily basis, and even though he has never said anything bad about him, I know that he doesn't care for him. I am not sure, but I think he has an idea about the cruel man that lies inside Marcus' Abnegation shell.

4:54 pm

My father returns to his seat and whispers something to my mother. She sighs quietly and takes his hand into her free hand. It is unusual for Abnegation to show any form of affection, so even this small gesture is out of the ordinary and rarely seen in public. But from small actions like this, I can be sure of the love that exists between them.

4:55 pm

Marcus whispers something to Tobias, and I see him stiffen in his seat even more. He responds to his father with a strange look on his face. I can only imagine what is being said, but I assume that Marcus is giving strict directions on how he is to do everything. He has been instructed on how he is to stand when his name is called, how he is to walk to the walk, how to take the knife, how to cut, how to hold his hand... absolutely everything. Little does he know that Tobias will be going against just about all of it.

4:56 pm

I hear a loud commotion and I know that it can only be one thing, the Dauntless have arrived. They all pour in, laughing, joking, pushing and shoving each other, just in general having a good time.

4:57 pm

The noise begins to settle down as the head leaders from each have faction stand and head to the bowls to prepare them for the ceremony. Each leader fills the bowl with the substance that represents their respective faction.

Abnegation - The bowl is filled with simple grey stones.

Amity - The bowl is filled with soil.

Candor - The bowl is filled with pieces of clear glass.

Dauntless - The bowl is filled with coals and lit on fire.

Erudite - The bowl is filled with water.

4:58 pm

All the leaders, except for Jack Kang, return to their seats at the front of each faction. Jack remains in the center of the room, as he is in charge of leading the ceremony this year.

4:59 pm

Jack takes the box of knives and places it on the podium, he adjusts the microphone, tests the volume, pulls out his notes, and prepares to begin.

5:00 pm

The ceremony begins.


	9. Choosing Ceremony Continued

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tobias

When I enter the ceremony room, I immediately locate Tris in her seat next to her mother. I take my seat in the choosing section and Marcus sits down next to me. He has a designated seat at the front of the section, but sat beside me to talk to me until the ceremony begins.

I make eye contact with Tris and slightly nod towards the Dauntless section of the room. I have made my decision and I want her to know before everyone else does. I know from the look on her face that she understands. My father clears his throat, snapping me back to attention.

"You know what you have to do, right Tobias?" He asks .

"Yes father, I know what you expect from me."

"Well, you better not disappoint me or make me look foolish. You are my son and therefore a reflection of me."

"I understand, father."

Just as he is about to speak again, he is stopped by a loud commotion. The Dauntless have arrived! Marcus rises from him seat and makes his way to the choosing bowls with the other leaders. They fill the bowls with the elements of each of their respective factions. Each faction leader, with the exception of Jack Kang, returns to their faction's section and takes a seat. Before he sits, Marcus gives me a harsh, pointed look and I nod in return.

Jack Kang steps up to the podium and prepares to begin the ceremony. He starts by reading the manifestos of each faction, I have heard them read every year since I was born. I could repeat them all in my sleep and really only pay attention to two of them... Abnegation and Dauntless.

Abnegation

I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.

I will forget the ones I love If I do not serve them.

I will war with others If I refuse to see them.

Therefore I choose to turn away From my reflection, To rely not on myself But on my brothers and sisters, To project always outward Until I disappear.*

And only God remains.

Dauntless

We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices.

We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that:

We believe that justice is more important than peace.

We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions.

We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us.

We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.

We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.

We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because we believe in action.

We do not believe in living comfortable lives.

We do not believe that silence is useful.

We do not believe in good manners.

We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands.

We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence.

We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by.

We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery.

He then makes a speech about the journey that we are about to take as initiates. He talks about this importance of faction over blood and emphasizes how critical it is to select the correct faction. He gives a brief summary of the reason and creation of the faction system and the virtues of each.

Jack then begins the selection process. He takes the list of names from the ceremonial box and begins calling the names one by one. Since the names are read in reverse alphabetical order, I have to wait a while until mine is called. As each name is read they stand, walk to the box, select a knife, cut their hand, and hold it over the bowl of their selected faction.

As each person makes their choice, they then are seated with their new faction as a symbol of their new life. There are some cheers and some tears as choices are made whether to remain in their faction of birth or to transfer. Faction transfers are often seen as traitors to their families and original faction. I don't really notice many of the names that are called or the factions that they choose until it is closer to my turn.

Then I hear it, my name is called. I stand and make my way to the podium and grab a knife from the box. I drag the knife slowly and a bit too deeply across my palm. I hold out my arm as the blood pools I my hand. I make eye contact with Marcus as i hold out my hand and let the blood drip onto the flaming coals of Dauntless.

There is a moment of pure chaos as the realization sets in of what just happened. It is unheard of for someone to transfer from Abnegation to Dauntless, and I have done just that. I can hear a roar of anger from my father as I make my way to my seat in Dauntless. I am still bleeding heavily when I take my seat next to a Dauntless born who chose to remain in the faction. He takes a strip of cloth from his pocket and hands it to me for my hand. I wrap my hand and shake his, as he introduces himself as Zeke.

It is not long before the ceremony has ended, and as if on cue, all the Dauntless stand up and start running out the door. I join the group and we run to the train tracks to jump on the passing train. This is easy enough for me since I have done it many times before. I settle in and take a seat in the open door of the train car and am soon joined by Zeke. I am headed off to my new life, my new Dauntless life.


	10. Dauntless Bound

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I received a comment that I had too much detail, just FYI that is not likely to change any time soon. That is just how I write and I am really enjoying writing this story. Thanks for all the comments!

Tobias

I am sitting on the train, headed to my new home in Dauntless, and it suddenly hits me that I am no longer a citizen of Abnegation. I have known for years that I was going to transfer, but it feels surreal that I have done it. Never again will I be the scared boy, trapped with a cruel father, I will be free to discover who I really am. That thought is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

"So, Abnegation transferring to Dauntless..." Zeke says. "You certainly caused quite a stir back there."

"I should have expected it. After all, I'm not sure when the last time an Abnegation to Dauntless transfer happened." I reply with a shrug.

"Well, you seem to be prepared for Dauntless already. You jumped on the train like it was nothing. Most transfers have trouble doing that for a while. Now me... I am a professional." Zeke smirks. "I have been jumping on trains since I was three years old. My dad taught me, which totally irritated my mom since most kids learn when they are five. But my dad knew that I wanted to learn, so he taught me early."

"I can definitely say that I have not been doing it since I was three, but my friend and I have been jumping on them for a few years. We frequently would jump on the train and spend time in the other factions, usually Dauntless."

"Wow, two Stiffs jump on a train... sounds like the beginning of a bad joke." He laughs. "Well it sure sounds like you two were not meant for Abnegation. Where is your friend?"

"Still in Abnegation."

"Decided to stay there? Sounds like someone who would have transferred with you." Zeke questions.

"She had to stay... not 16 yet."

"She..." He wiggles his eyebrows. "So do you think your little girlfriend will follow you when it's her turn to choose? "

"It's not like that." I say, not really sure I even believe myself. "She has beenmy friend for years."

"I know that I just met you, but it is not hard to see that there is more to it than that. Looks like we're just about to get to our stop."

"Here?" I ask, confused.

"Right... there." He replies, pointing at a nearby building.

I simply shrug and stand next to him, preparing for what may be the most difficult and important jump of my life. Once everyone is off the train and standing on the roof of the building, Max steps to the edge and faces the group. I look around at the faces of everyone around me, some excited, others seem fairly terrified. Max begins to speak and the group goes silent.

He gives a brief speech and ends by saying, "Alright, listen up. I'm Max. I am your leader. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in, and if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in Dauntless."

Right after he finishes, Zeke jumps forward, climbs to the edge of the roof, and leaps through the hole in the roof of the adjoining building. I fight through my fear, climb to the same spot where he stood, take a deep breath, close my eyes, and leap. I fall quickly and land on a giant net. Someone pulls down the edge of the net, I roll to the edge, and I swing down tothe ground.

This is a new beginning for me. I have no idea what is in store for me, but I know that whatever happens will be up to me. My life is finally mine, not Marcus', not Abnegation's, but mine. Today is the day when my life begins!


	11. Two Years Later

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Time skip!

Tris

It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years since T.J. left. It has been really tough for me to be so far away from him. Just as I feared, we have not been able to see each other in person. We have been sending letters to keep up to date on each others lives, but every time we have planned to meet somewhere, one of us has had to cancel.

Not much has changed in my life, but from his letters, I can tell that Tobias has changed a lot. First off, he is now going by a different name in Dauntless. He didn't want anyone to know his name or that Marcus is his father, so his instructor gave him a new name... Four. He gave him his new name after his fear simulation revealed that he only has 4 fears, a record low in Dauntless history, the previous record was 7. There were only two people in the faction that know his real name and what faction he came from, his instructor Amar and his friend Zeke.

Amar died shortly after T.J.'s initiation, which seemed to have really affected him. He had gotten close to Amar, and after his death, Tobias seemed to get colder, and distant. He still writes to me often and shares details about his life there, but I can tell that he is different somehow. He hasn't talked about Amar in a long time, I think it is because it hurts to think about him.

His friend Zeke on the other hand, he seems like quite a character. I have read many stories about the trouble that they get into and mostly the fun things that they do together. He really seems to respect Zeke and credits him with his success through initiation. He helped Tobias learn everything he needed to know to do well in their group, and it clearly worked, he ranked number 1, which is extremely rare for a transfer.

Because he did so well in initiation he could have chosen any job he wanted, and Max tried to convince him to take a job as a leader, but he was not interested in leadership. He decided, that since he was already good with computers, he would work in the control room. He also chose to be an initiate instructor for the transfers. Last year was obviously his first year as an instructor, and he said that he loves it. Max still asks him occasionally to reconsider a role in leadership, but so far Tobias says that he is not interested.

His life is nothing like it was just two years ago, mine on the other hand is exactly the same as when he left. Actually, it is different too, just not in a good way. The time that Tobias has been gone, has been the most boring, depressing time of my life. I only have one friend in the faction, Roberts sister Susan. She is one of the kindest people I know, but she is also very Abnegation, which means no sneaking to the other factions. Although I am not sure we would have been able to go anyway, it has been harder and harder to get away with the added responsibilities I now have.

It feels like there is so much that is expected from me every single day. When I'm not at school, I am expected to be helping at home, taking care of the neighbor, helping my father, going with my mother to take deliveries to the factionless, and a list of many other things. My mom has tried to help me get out of some of these things, but even she can't get me out of much. I feel so trapped in my responsibilities!

My aptitude test is in two hours and I am terrified. I know what the test was like two years ago, T.J. told me all about it, but I also know that they modify the test every year. I'm not sure if I am more afraid that I will get a result of Abnegation or that I will not get Abnegation. I always thought that it was easy, take your test, get your result, go to that faction. But as it has gotten closer to my own turn to choose, it has become more and more unclear.

I just don't feel like I really belong in any faction, and I know for certain that I can not become factionless. I just keep telling myself that I need to believe in the test, the test will tell me what to do. After all, that is what the test was created for. I just wish I could get rid of this feeling of dread, this feeling that I am going to make a terrible decision.

My mom knocks gently on my door and walks in a moment later. She helps me pull my hair back into my usual bun and gently kisses my forehead. She has always shown more affection than a typical Abnegation mother, and for that I will forever be thankful. I finish getting ready as I always do, by putting on my raven necklace and tu king it securely inside my clothing. I have worn it every day since Tobias gave it to me, but since no one here wears jewelry, only my mom has ever seen it.

Mom takes me to the testing center and then heads off to work. I wait anxiously, pacing the hall for what seems like an eternity. When my name is finally called I am almost glad, as nervous as I am to take the test, at least I am going to get it over with. Then I will know.

I walk in to the sterile looking room that seems far too bright and yet cold. My evaluator, a pretty woman who is obviously from Dauntless, introduces herself as Tori and motions for me to sit in a chair in the middle of the room. After I sit, she attaches electrodes to my head and hands me a small vial of liquid. The serum is blue, and strangely enough, smells sweet like the frozen drink T.J. and I got once when we went to Dauntless for a movie. I drink the serum, lean back in my chair, and prepare for it to begin. The world goes black and it is as if I am pulled out of this room and dropped into another. My simulation begins!


	12. What Now

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

I leave the testing center and run. I don't know if I am running towards or away from something, I just know that I need to run. I don't understand this. What am I supposed to do now? How can my results be inconclusive? How can I possibly be Divergent? I don't stop running until I am safely at home, hidden behind my bedroom door. I fall on the bed and begin to sob uncontrollably. I don't know how long I cry before I eventually fall into a fitful sleep. The nightmares come quickly and relentlessly.

I am standing on a stage, in front of me a crowd gathers, and I realize that they are all watching me. Then I hear it, it starts as a whisper but grows to a roar as the entire crowd joins in. Divergent, they whisper. The group gets larger and closer as they get louder in their chant. Divergent, they say. I begin to panic as I realize that I will not make it out of this alive. I try to run, but I am tied to a post. Divergent, they shout. As I struggle against my restraints, I begin to see and smell it... smoke. I know what they have planned for me, I know how it will all end. I will burn to death, and they will all watch as it happens. Divergent, they scream. As the fire reaches my skin, I search the crowd for their faces, they are there watching it all happen and doing nothing to save me. There they stand, my parents, Caleb, and Tobias. They cannot save me... no one can. As the fire consumes me, I scream in agony.

I awaken, still screaming, with my mom gently shaking my shoulders. I am still confused and shaking when I fully wake up as my mom tries to calm me down. Once I finally get myself under control, I look at my mother, wanting to talk but not sure what to even say. I start and stop several times before she speaks up.

"Alright sweetheart, you know that you can tell me anything right?" She asks quietly.

"I know that, but I'm not even sure what to say. I am so confused." I reply.

"Ok, let's just start at the beginning... I know that you are not really supposed to talk about it, but what happened in your test?" I stare at her for a few moments, not sure how to respond. She continues, "Just tell me, sweetheart, what faction did you get? I am guessing you didn't get Amity or Candor, so what was it? Dauntless, Abnegation, or Erudite?"

"Yes." I say while looking away.

"Yes to which?" She replies, confused.

"Yes to those three." I say quickly.

"Divergent" She nearly whispers. "I should have expected that. I know what you have always heard, but none of it's true. There is nothing wrong with you for being Divergent. You are not dangerous, you are special. You do need to know that you have to keep this to yourself though, if too many people know about it, you could be in danger."

"You seem to know a lot about it."

"Well, there maybe a good reason for that." She says with a half smile.

"I just don't know what I am going to do. My entire life, I have been told that I can trust the test. The aptitude test is supposed to tell me what faction to choose. What do I do now? How can I possibly make this decision? I just wanted it to be easy."

"You know what you need to do, Beatrice, you have known for years where you belong. As much as I don't want to even think about you leaving, we both know that this is not the right place for you. Dauntless is in your blood, sweetheart, it is where you should be." As she says this, tears begin rolling down her face.

"I just don't know, momma, I don't know if I can do this. I'm so afraid!"

"I know that you can do anything that you set your mind to. This is your decision but you and I both know what faction is best for you, and as much as I will miss you, I know it is not here."

Nothing more is said, we just sit in silence until we hear the front door open and close. She rushes down stairs to begin cooking dinner while I straighten myself up to hide the fact that I have spent the afternoon crying. The rest of the evening is completely uneventful, everything is just as usual, same boring dinner and polite conversation.

I do notice that Caleb is acting particularly strange all evening. Everything he says is in a short, clipped tone, and he heads up to his bedroom right after dinner is done. I don't see him again before I head to bed. I lay down in bed thinking about tomorrow's ceremony and remember the countdown from two years ago. Now it's the countdown to my own ceremony which means I have 17 hours and 46 minutes to decide.


	13. My Turn to Choose

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

It doesn't seem possible that today, after waiting for 16 years , it is my choosing day. I always thought it would be easy, I would take my test and find out what faction I belong in. But, I guess life is never that easy, and it didn't work out that way for me. Despite what my mother says, I don't know what faction I should choose.

It baffles me that I got three factions. How can I choose any of them? How can I possibly feel like I belong in any of them? How can I feel like I'm good enough for any of them. I've never been selfless enough for Abnegation, but it is all I really know, and I am so afraid of leaving my family. At the same time, I am not smart enough to go to Erudite and too afraid for Dauntless.

I tossed and turned all night, maybe getting two hours of sleep. I don't take this decision lightly, but at the same time, I wish it wasn't my decision to make. I am still so angry about the test, so angry about myself. How can I possibly be Divergent? It just doesn't make sense. I have always heard in school that Divergents are dangerous and a threat to society. My mother says that is not true, and I have a feeling that she knows more than she is telling me. Does she know others that are Divergent? Is she Divergent too? I want to ask her, but have not gotten up the nerve.

I get dressed in my typical Abnegation clothing, honestly not sure if it is for the last time. I neatly make my bed, not sure if I will be back here again, not sure if I would ever be welcome to visit if I decide to leave. I pack my few precious mementos in my old, worn out bag and lay it on the end of my bed. The only thing that I don't pack up is my raven necklace, which I put on like everyday, and tuck inside my grey blouse before heading down to breakfast.

As I walk past Caleb's bedroom I peek inside and am surprised to see that it is a mess. His room, much like his life, is always in perfect order. I step inside and see piles of books and papers everywhere. I guess I have not been the only one in this house that is keeping secrets. I guess I don't really know my brother as well as I thought. I slip out before I am noticed and softly pull the door closed behind me so our father won't see.

We have the same pleasant conversation as usual while we eat and after we finish I offer to clean up, thinking that this may be the last time. I have plans to spend the day with Susan today and will meet my family back at home before the ceremony. It is being hosted here in Abnegation this year, sowe don't have far to travel. I am glad that I am going to be with Susan today, but I also know that it will be kind of boring. Don't get me wrong, I like being friends with her, but no friendship will ever replace what I had with T.J.

As Susan and I talk, I am watching the time tick by, counting the minutes until I need to decide my future. Susan is talking excitedly about the ceremony and how wonderful it will be to officially become an initiate in Abnegation. She knows what she is going to do, she probably has always known what she would do. She has always been the perfect, parents dream, of an Abnegation member. She is talking about how much fun it will be to go through initiation together, and I don't have the heart to tell her that I have not decided what to do yet. She assumes, as most others probably do, that both Caleb and I will stay in Abnegation. We do, after all, have the highest rate of those who return to their faction of birth.

We have a quick lunch before making deliveries to the factionless. We then go to the ceremony location to help setup for the ceremony that will begin at 5pm. Once all the chairs are set up, we both head to our homes to meet up with our families. My parents are already there when I arrive, and soon after, Caleb is there too. We all get ready and head to the ceremony together. My parents hug each of us tightly before we go to take our seats in front of the Abnegation section.

Before my mother releases my from her embrace she whispers "Sweetheart, just remember that no matter what you choose or where you go, I will always love you and you will always be my daughter. You and your brother are the best things that ever happened in my life. I love you both with all my heart! "

"I love you too, momma!" I reply, while holding back tears.

We all take our seats and prepare for the ceremony that will change our lives forever. The ceremony begins as usual, with the selection bowls prepared by the head faction leaders. The Marcus steps up to the podium and begins his speech. He reads the manifestos of each faction, talks about the importance of the journey we are about to take as well as selecting the right faction, and explains the creation and purpose of the faction system. I know exactly what he is saying, even though I am not even remotely paying attention to a single word he says. Not only have I heard this speech every year for the last 16 years, but I really don't care to listen to him speak. Even the sound of his voice brings back anger in me for all the years that he treated T.J. so badly.

Then I think about T.J. and the fact that I could choose Dauntless and I would be able to see him today. But is that what is best for me? What would it even be like to be together again? Would things be the same between us? He seems to have changed so much in the past two years, and maybe I have changed some too. Can we just pick up where we left off when he left? Should we even try? For all I know, he has moved on without me.

I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear the name Jacob Roberts called and I know that Caleb will be called next. Jacob makes his choice to remain in Abnegation, which is no surprise. Then it is time, Marcus calls for Caleb. Caleb stands, takes a knife from the box, cuts his palm, and let's his blood fall into the water of Erudite. He smiles at me, somewhat sadly, as he takes his seat in the Erudite section. I see my father's face fall in disappointment and worry even more about making my own decision.

I don't have much time to think about it, as moments later, my name is called. I step up and with shaking hands, I retrieve a knife from the box and step into the center of the circle of bowls. I take a deep breath, draw the knife slowly across my palm, and watch for a moment as the blood pools in my hand. I look at my mother, who smiles and nods at me while mouthing "It's ok". I exhale sharply and thrust my hand out over the flaming coals of Dauntless. As expected, the crowd is in shock. I look at my father, who looks sad, but smiles and gives me the sign for "I love you". I return the gesture before taking my seat in my new faction.

The rest of the ceremony is a blur, I only really pay attention to one other person, my friend Susan. No one is surprised when she selects to remain in Abnegation. As the ceremony concludes, the group of Dauntless all jump up and start running, and I run with them. I am one of them now, and I am running. Running towards the train, yes. But also running towards my future... and running towards Tobias.


	14. Here She Comes

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

To all die-hard Fourtris fans: In the next few chapters you may get a bit angry with me for a little while, but I promise you that I have reasons and you will be happy in the end. Stick with me for now. And, yes, I did grab some dialog for this chapter directly from the movie. I am sure you all can spot it.

Tobias

I sit in the Pit, waiting for the choosing ceremony to start. Last year they started showing the ceremony live on TV and I am anxiously watching to see what Tris decides to do. I really hope that she chooses Dauntless, but I'm still not sure what faction she will select. I always thought that she would decide to join whatever faction I did, but over the last two years, thing have gotten really different between us. We have been writing to each other, but the distance between us has put a strain on our friendship.

Zeke plops down on the chair next to me so hard he nearly knocks me off my chair. He has been a great friend to me over the past two years and I'm not sure if I would have made it through initiation without him. I have made a few other friends here, mostly through him, but no one as close as Zeke. He is the only one, since Amar died, that actually knows my real name and where I came from. He also knows about Tris and how anxious I am about her choosing ceremony.

"So, today's the day." He exclaims, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Obviously." I say with a bit more intensity in my voice than I planned.

"Don't bite my head off because you're nervous about your little girlfriend, buddy." Zeke says with a chuckle.

"Sorry, I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like there is anything I can do to change her decision. I just hope..." I trail off.

"I know, I know. We both will just have to hope that your girlfriend joins us here."

"You know that she's not actually my girlfriend, right? Tris and I have been friends for years. I just miss her."

"So are you saying that I have not been a good enough friend for you." He says, with his hand on his chest, pretending to be insulted.

"Yep, that's exactly what I am saying." I retort, rolling my eyes.

"I see, I am not sure if I will ever recover from this. Oh, wait, I'm over it!" He shrugs and I simply shake my head in response.

The TV is switched on just as the ceremony begins. I cringe when I see Marcus step up to the podium and begin his speech. Even after two years away from him, I still can't stand the sight of him. I tune out most of what he says, only paying attention when the actual selection process begins. I really am only watching for two reasons, to see who chooses Dauntless, but mostly to see Tris' choice. I note all the initiates as they choose, anxiously waiting for her name to be called.

Then Caleb is called and I am not at all surprised when he chooses Erudite. He has always been a know-it-all type of person. He hated that Tris and I were friends, and he didn't even know a fraction of how close we were. I'm a bit worried that, with Caleb leaving Abnegation, Tris may decide that she needs to stay for her parents. She has never thought that she was selfless enough for Abnegation, but she has always been wrong about that.

Marcus calls her name and I straighten in my chair. I don't even realize at first, but I hold my breath as she takes the knife, steps into the center of the circle, cuts her palm, and prepares to make her selection. I see her look up, to where I assume her parents are sitting, and pause for a moment before thrusting her hand over the Dauntless bowl. The group around me cheers, as they do for everyone that chooses Dauntless, but this time I am cheering along with them.

Zeke pats me roughly on the back and says something to me that I barely hear, let alone comprehend. Shortly after, Zeke's brother Uriah is called, and although he says that he knows that he will stay in Dauntless, I can tell that he is a bit nervous. Despite how much the Pedrad brothers fight, I know that Zeke would hate to see Uriah transfer. When Uriah makes his choice and it is Dauntless, Zeke gives a slight sigh of relief, and I give him a strong slap on his back.

I finish watching the ceremony feeling like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. All in all we end up with 11 Dauntless born and 9 transfer initiates. As the ceremony concludes Zeke and I head towards the net, along with Lauren and some of the others, to prepare for the arrival of the initiates. I am standing right by the net when I hear the train coming. I peer up to the hole in the roof where the initiates will enter and can vaguely hear Eric give a short speech before it is time for them to jump.

I smile to myself when I see the grey blur plummeting towards the net. I should have expected her to be the first jumper. After she lands on the net, I grab the edge of it and pull down, rolling her to the side so she can climb off. When she sees me her eyes widen and I think she is coming towards me, when I slightly shake my head and mouth "Later" to her. She nods, understanding me, and stops in her tracks.

"What's your name?" I ask, loudly enough for the group around us to hear.

"Tris." She replies, smiling slightly. I like that she decided to go with the name I gave her. I think it is better suited to her personality.

"First jumper, Tris" I announce. "Welcome to Dauntless."

She steps to the side of the group as the next jumper comes falling towards the net, excitedly yelling the entire way down . I look over my shoulder at Zeke, who is smiling as his younger brother lands on the net and then jumps up and does a flip to the ground. That's Uriah for you, always the show-off. He can be annoying at times, but is always good for a laugh and is genuinely a good guy. One by one the initiates come falling from the sky. As soon as everyone has gathered, I begin my short speech.

"Dauntless born you go with Lauren, transfers stay with me. Go. Most of the time I work in intelligence, but during your training I'll be your instructor. My name's Four." I state flatly.

"Four like the number?" A Candor girl asks incredulously.

"Exactly like the number." I say, putting on my instructor voice.

"What happened? One two three were taken?" A few others chuckle at her comment. I see Tris smirk slightly, she knows that this will not be good for the Candor girl, but I think she is amused to see this side of me.

"What's your name?" I ask harshly.

"Christina." She replies with worry in her tone. I step closer and continue speaking, intimidating her by my proximity.

"Well, Christina, the first lesson you learn from me, if you wanna survive here, is keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Follow me." I have to fight the smile that threatens to cross my face as I lead the group on the tour.

I show them to the pit, take them by the chasm, and then to their dorm. I hate the idea of Tris staying here in the dorms with some of these guys, but I can't show any favoritism towards her. In fact, I need to have a conversation with her about that very thing. I think it is a good idea if we hide the fact that we even know each other at all and especially that we are friends. After I have shown them the dorm, I turn to walk away, intentionally bumping into Tris on my way out.

"Alley behind the movie theater after dinner." I mutter, so that only she can hear me. She nods slightly and I walk away.

We all file into the dining hall shortly after that and, as luck would have it, the only seat available for Tris is right next to me. It is so difficult for me to be so close to her at dinner, yet not be able to really be with her. I hope she understands why I am being so cold to her. I just want to protect her, and I fear that things would be bad for her if the others knew about our relationship. I nudge her foot slightly with mine under the table, wanting to have at least a tiny bit of contact with her. I know that she understands when I see the grin cross her face.

After dinner is over, I head straight to the spot where we will meet and pace while I wait for her to arrive. I am not sure how long it will take her to be able to slip away and get here, but I want to be here when she does.


	15. To See Him Again

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

To all die-hard Fourtris fans: In the next few chapters you may get a bit angry with me for a little while, but I promise you that I have reasons and you will be happy in the end. Stick with me for now.

Tris

As I walk towards the movie theater I can't help but think about everything that has happened over the last few hours. Just over 4 hours ago was the start of my choosing ceremony and now here I am, in Dauntless, headed to see Tobias .

After we ran out of the ceremony, I jumped on the train, thinking about how many times T.J. and I have done this before. Most of the other transfers have trouble with the jump, but for me it's easy. Once I was settled on the train, I sat quietly, watching my former faction rush away from me. My solitude did not last long though, as a girl dressed in Candor black and white came up to me and started talking.

"How did you get on the train that easily? I thought I was going to die trying to do that." She asked, curiously.

"Well, let's just say that this was not my first time jumping on trains." I said with a grin.

"Hmm... an Abnegation girl that jumps on trains. I bet that didn't go over well at home."

"My mom knew that I did it and she didn't care, but no one else other than T.J. knew." I replied, immediately wishing that I had not mentioned him.

"Who's T.J. may I ask?"

"Just a friend from Abnegation." I said trying to keep a normal tone of voice.

"You know, I was Candor until today, and I can tell when people are lying. But since we just met, I will let it go for now. I'm Christina, by the way."

"I'm Bea... I'm Tris. Nice to meet you."

It's not long before we have arrived in Dauntless, but to my surprise, we are not jumping offthe train in the usual spot. We are jumping onto the top of a building. Christina and I jumped together and I helped keep her steady on her feet when we land. After one of the leaders, Eric, gave a short speech it was time for someone to jump off the roof into what he called the "entrance". After a moment, when no one else offered to go, I stepped up and leapt off the ledge.

When I landed safely in the net below, I felt the side being pulled down, rolling me to the edge. Once I got down I looked up, and there he was, standing right in front of me. I wanted so badly to run into his arms, but as I took a single step towards him, I saw his eyes widen and he mouthed "later". I was a little confused at first but quickly realized that this is probably not the best time or place for a proper reunion. That would have to wait.

After everyone had entered, Tobias introduced himself as Four. I will have to work to remember to call him that in public. Christina, Candor that she is, made a snide comment about a number for his name. I had to suppress a laugh when he responded. It is funny to see this side of him. In that moment, my sweet, kind, loving T.J. was no where to be seen. This is Four. He is our instructor and he is intimidating.

Throughout the tour of Dauntless he seemed distant and detached, and I am just hoping that this is still him in instructor mode, not a sign that he has changed completely. After showing us to the dorm, he brushed by me as he left and said to meet him after dinner. I quickly change out of my Abnegation grey and get ready in my new Dauntless black before heading to the dining hall.

At dinner, Tobias' cold demeanor continued. I was still hoping that it was just an act, but feared it was a sign of the changes in him. It was strange acting like we didn't know each other, but it just felt good to be that close to him. At one point I felt something nudge me under the table and, instinctively, I knew that it was him. Just that small amount of physical contact made me smile.

After dinner, it took me a little while to get away to head to our meeting place. Christina was droning on and on and it was hard to find a good excuse to leave. I think I like her and, despite her Candor tendencies, I think we will be good friends. I have never been friends with a Candor before, but she isn't Candor anymore, just as I am not Abnegation.

As soon as I slip away, I rush straight to the movie theater. It seems strange that I don't have to hide or try to blend in here. I am Dauntless now, or at least I am a Dauntless initiate. As I walk around the corner of the theater, I am slightly disappointed that I don't see T.J. right away. I was sure that he would be here by now. Then I feel two hands snake around me, covering my eyes. Instinctively, I thrust my elbow back straight into my assailant's stomach, hear a groan, and the hands drop from me.

"You still have those lightning fast reflexes, I see." I hear his unmistakable voice say.

"And I see that you still haven't learned that it is dangerous to try and sneak up on me." I reply laughing.

I turn around to face him and I do what I have wanted to do since I climbed off the net a few hours ago. I leap into his arms and hug him harder than I thought possible. I tuck my face into the familiar spot between his shoulder and his neck, and I hold on as if my life depends on it. I don't even realize that I am crying until I feel the moisture pooling on his shirt.

"Hey now, what are all the tears for?" He says tenderly, tipping my chin up to look him in the eyes.

"I just don't think that I realized how much I missed you until I saw you again."

"Oh, so you didn't really miss me that much since I left?" He joked.

"You know what I mean." I reply, exasperated. "I have missed you for two years, but seeing you today, made it all so much more real."

"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time." He laughs. "I've missed you too Trissy."

"Really, just minutes together and we are already back to Trissy. You know that I hate that." I step back, looking him square in the eyes.

"I do know that. Why do you think I said it?" He grins in a way that reminds me of how he was when we first met. That seems like a lifetime ago.

I curl back into his chest and we just stand there in silence for several minutes. I have missed this so much, just being together. He squeezes me tightly before taking my shoulders in his hands and stepping back.

"So" he says with hesitation "I need to talk to you about something."

"Why does it seem like I am not going to like what you have to say?"

"Well, you may be ok with it, or you may not. Just hear me out." He pauses.

"Out with it T.J." I exclaim, still slightly nervous.

"Ok. I really think that we need to act like we didn't know each other before today. There are a few reasons why I think we need to do this. I don't want the other initiates to think that you are getting any special treatment because of our friendship. I'm afraid that would make you seem weak, and would make you a target from the others. I know that you can do this well and I don't want anyone to think you didn't earn it on your own. Also, and this may sound a bit selfish, but I really don't want anyone to know where I came from or who I really am. Right now only you and Zeke know, and I would like to keep it that way. I hope that doesn't upset you. I just feel like it's the best decision for both of us."

"Tobias" I say, taking his hand in mine. "I understand completely and I am totally fine with one condition."

"And that would be?"

"That I still can spend at least a little time with you."

"I think that can be arranged." He laughs.

We spend the next hour or so talking about the past two years and everything that has happened while we were apart. But, all too soon, it's time for me to get back to the dorm for the night. Just before I walk away, he pulls me in for another hug and kisses me on the forehead.

"Goodnight Tris. Remember, training starts at 8am sharp. Don't be late." He says, shifting into his instructor voice.

"Yes, sir." I say with a salute. Then I grin. "Goodnight, Four."

With that, I turn and walk away, not giving him a chance to reply. I head back to the dorm and settle in for the night. Christina asks a few questions about where I was and what I was doing. I tell her that I was just wandering, getting to know Dauntless. I think she can tell that I am lying, but she doesn't push me any further. I get ready for bed, set the alarm, and go to sleep. My first night in my new faction, my new home, my new life.


	16. Initiation Begins

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

To all die-hard Fourtris fans: In the next few chapters you may get a bit angry with me for a little while, but I promise you that I have reasons and you will be happy in the end. Stick with me for now. Again, I did grab some dialog for this chapter directly from the movie and book. I am sure you all can spot it.

Tobias

I can't help but laugh when Tris salutes me, then turns and walks away. I also can't help but think about how difficult it is going to be to pretend that we don't know each other in front of the other initiates. So far only Zeke knows and I trust him to keep his mouth shut. I head back to my apartment, get prepared for initiation to start tomorrow, and go to bed. I like to arrive before the initiates to work out, so it will be an early morning for me.

I force myself out of bed at 5:45 am, take a quick shower, get ready, and am at the training room by 6:30. I follow my usual routine, cardio, weights, then to the punching bags. I finish my routine and still have 30 minutes until the initiates are to arrive, so I set up for knife throwing. After I have set everything up, I decide to take some time to throw a few myself. I settle in to a comfortable pace, grabbing a knife, taking my stance, and throwing. I do this with all 5 knives, then move on to the next throwing station. I never miss hitting the target dead center. I am in a zone with my practice, when I sense that I am being watched. I turn, knife still in hand, and see my initiates standing quietly. I take the knife that I am holding and fling it over my shoulder, still facing them, and can tell from their reactions that I hit my mark. I see Tris smirk, and have to suppress a laugh, when she mouths "show-off" so that only I can see. Eric walks in and signals to begin.

"There are two stages of training. The first is physical, push your bodies to the breaking point and master the methods of combat. The second is mental, again breaking point, you'll face your worst fears and conquer them unless they get you first. You'll be trained separately from the Dauntless born, but you'll be ranked together. After initiations rankings will determine what jobs you move into. Leadership, guarding the fence, or keeping the factions from killing each other." I say, repeating the same speech Amar said to my initiation group just two years ago.

"The rankings will also determine who gets cut." Eric interjects.

"Cut?" Christina gasps. Eric continues, as if he doesn't hear her.

"At the end of each stage of training, the lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us."

"To do what?" A boy, I can't remember his name, says. I see Tris stiffen, visibly nervous.

"There's no going home to your families, so you'd live factionless." Eric replies plainly, as if it's no big deal.

"Why didn't we know that?" Someone else, I think his name is Will, asks."

"It's a new rule."

"A new rule? Somebody should have told us that." Christina practically growls.

"Why?" Eric says smugly. "Would you have chosen differently? Or out of fear? Well if that's the case, you might as well get out now. If you're really one of us it won't matter to you that you might fail. You chose us, now we get to choose you."

"Alright everyone, enough talking, let's get started. Find a station and start throwing." I say, trying to get the group back on schedule.

I pace back and forth behind the initiates, occasionally stopping to give corrections, and can see Eric watching closely. I have to be extra careful to not give any indication of my relationship with Tris with him watching. He hates me and would jump on any opportunity to cause problems for me. Eric is an absolutely awful human being. He is cold, calculating, manipulative, and most of all cruel. I hate the power that he has here, in fact, I am almost certain that he is the reason for all the new Dauntless initiation rules.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had accepted Max's offers to become a member of leadership. If I had, Eric would not have been able to become a leader. As first ranking initiate in our group, I had first choice of all the jobs, but I didn't want to be a leader. I love my jobs here, but sometimes wonder if I made the right choice.

The morning is spent with all the initiates practicing their throwing, while I instruct them on technique and form. I am happy to see that Tris is a natural and is doing better than most of the others. A few are really struggling, and I make a mental note to work with them after lunch. I release the group for lunch and we all head to the dining hall.

Not accidentally, the only seat available for Tris is right next to me. I don't think that anyone but Zeke notices. Tris' new friend, Christina is sitting on her other side and she spends most of her time talking to her while I talk to Zeke. Knowing that no one would notice, I reached my foot over and linked it around her foot under the table. She peeks over, smiling, before continuing her conversation with Christina.

After lunch, we return to knife throwing. Most of the initiates are doing pretty well. Tris has improved to the point where she hits the bulls - eye almost every time. One boy, I have learned that his name is Al, has yet to hit the target and make it stick. Unfortunately for him, Eric has also noticed this and is headed towards him. I stand back for a moment, watching the scene unfold in front of me.

"Well that was pathetic." Eric sneers.

"It slipped." Al replies, embarrassed.

"Well go get it!"

"What...while they're throwing?" Al says, his eyes going wide.

"Are you afraid?"

"Of being stabbed by an airborne knife? Yeah." As Al says this, I groan internally, knowing that this is not going to be good.

"Everybody stop." Eric shouts. The initiates stop throwing their knives and turn to look at him.

"Stand in front of the target." Al goes and stands in front a target and Eric looks at me.

"Four, give me a hand here." He then looks back at Al, who looks terrified. I peek at Tris, who looks like she is struggling to stay quiet. I just hope that she doesn't do anything stupid.

"You're going to stand there while he throws those knives. And if I see you flinch, you're out. One thing you will learn here is that orders are not optional."

I step up and prepare the knives. Just as I am about to throw I hear someone step forward, and without even looking, I know that it's her.

"Stop." She says, before the knife leaves my hand. "Anyone can stand in front of a target, it doesn't prove anything."

"Then it should be easy for you to take his place." Eric turns to her. She shrugs slightly and heads straight to the target, taking Al's place. Al looks at her in relief, while she just looks determined. Not surprisingly, there is no hint of fear in her eyes. I love how brave she is, but wish she had not gotten herself I to this.

"Same rules apply." Eric states.

I step back up to my spot and look Tris straight in the eyes, trying to make sure she knows that this will be okay. Tris takes a nervous breath, and I throw the first knife, hitting the target beside Tris' leg.

"Oh, come on, Four." Eric complains. I take a second knife and throw, sinking it in the wood beside Tris's head. I immediately know that this will not be good enough to suit Eric. I will have to step it up a notch, and just hope that Tris doesn't hold it against me.

"You get get closer than that." Eric says, as if reading my thoughts.

"You want me to give her a little trim?" I grin. Maybe this little show will work to our advantage. No one would think that we were friends after seeing me throw knives at her head.

"Yeah, maybe just a little off the top." As he says this, I throw my third knife and it lands on the target just above Tris's head, then I throw my last knife which lands right next to Tris' ear jut cutting it a little. I know that it stings, but I also know that Eric would not have let it end without something like that.

"Points for bravery, Stiff. But not as many you just lost for opening your mouth." Eric sneers. "You watch yourself. We train soldiers not rebels. Alright, we're done for today, get out."

The initiates all file out behind Eric with Tris trailing behind. I grab her wrist before she walks through the door. I have to be sure that she is ok.

"You know that I didn't want to do that, but I had to." I say just above a whisper.

"I'm fine, T.J. It's justa little cut. I am the one who stepped in there. I just couldn't stand to see Al like that. He just looked so scared. I knew that you wouldn't REALLY hurt me." She laughed.

"Can you come over to my apartment after dinner tonight." I asked. She nods, I give her my address and directions, then she heads to the dorms to get showered and changed before dinner.


	17. Apartment 426

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Question for you all. Do you want me to save Al or not? I am undecided and will take your opinions on this decision. Also remember, you may start wondering what I am thinking with certain things in the next chapters, just stick with me. I have a master plan to follow and think you will enjoy a few added twists and turns. Thanks for all the comments.

Tris

I had hoped that I could simply relax before getting ready for dinner, but Christina had other plans. She decided, that since we had three whole hours after training ended, that we needed to go shopping. I've never spent much time shopping but Christina, on the other hand, seems like a pro. We were in and out of so many stores, I lost count. I'm not even sure how much I actually bought because she was shoving so many different things at me. When she headed into the lingerie store, I refused to join her and stopped by the tattoo parlor instead, promising to meet her at the dorm after.

So here I am now, headed to get my first tattoo. I'm not sure what I want to get, but I know that I will feel more Dauntless once I have a tattoo. The parlor is nearly empty and I quickly see Tori, the woman who did my aptitude test, sitting on the couch. She stands when she sees me and I can tell that she remembers me.

"Hey, Tori. Do you have time to do a tattoo for me?"

She gestures to the nearly empty room before laughing and saying "I think that I can squeeze you in."

She shows me some possible designs and I know, as soon as I see it, which one is mine. I show Tori and she quickly gets to work. While she does my tattoo, we chat about what I think about Dauntless so far, training, and other random things. I tell her that I am going by Tris now and she says she thinks it suits me. The tattoo is done much faster than I imagined. She hands me a mirror to check it out and I am amazed at how perfect it is. She puts a cream over the tattoo and covers it with a bandage, telling me that I need to leave it covered for two hours for the cream to fully soak in. After that I will be all set. I use my points card to pay and head to the dorm to meet Christina.

Once I arrive at the dorm, Christina is waiting there for me, complaining that we only have 30 minutes for her to get me ready. 30 minutes seems like a lot to me, since I have never taken more than 5 minutes to get ready before. A benefit of the simple Abnegation style I guess. She shoves a set of clothes at me and instructs me to put them on, while she sets out an array of makeup and hair supplies. After what seems like an eternity, but is really closer to 25 minutes, she announces that she is finished.

I step into the bathroom and I almost don't recognize myself in the mirror. In that moment, I am pretty sure that Christina can perform miracles. I don't look like the simple little girl from Abnegation anymore, I look like I belong in Dauntless. She dressed me in tight black leather pants and a black one shoulder top, that covers the bandage from my tattoo. Christina was mad that I wouldn't show it to her, but I tell her about Tori ' s instructions and she let's it drop. I really just want Tobias to be the first to see it. Christina has braided my hair across my head, making my blonde hair into a work of art. When I look at my face, it is strange, I still look like myself... just better than I have ever felt before. She kept most of the makeup light but lined my eyes in black, making them stand out. As a final touch she applied a bright red gloss to my lips. I almost hate to admit it, but I actually look pretty.

I put on my raven necklace and slip into my new black combat boots. Christina wants me to wear a pair of high heels that she made me buy, but I insist on the boots. She finally concedes, vowing that she will get me in those shoes one of these days. She wears shoes like that all the time, but I put them on and suddenly feel like I am walking on stilts.

We walk to the dining hall, and when we enter, all of our friends are already there. I notice that I caught T.J.'s attention, and I think I even see his jaw drop. He quickly regains his composure, but gives me a subtle wink, before returning his attention to his meal. Christina and I grab our food and head to our usual table with our new friends. She slides in next to Will and I sit between her and Al. We have met a few others, but I feel closest to these three. While we are eating, I occasionally glance at Tobias and catch him staring at me. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

Christina decides that the four of us should go to a movie after dinner. I feel a little panicked as I try to come up with an excuse that is believable to her Candor trained eyes. I decide that simple is best and just tell her that I am going to meet up with a friend. Then, to avoid additional questions, I say that I have to go, and take off without giving her any time to respond. I know that it will look suspicious, but at this moment, I don't really care.

I head straight to apartment 426 and find it easily. Tobias slipped me his spare key earlier today so I could let myself in if I needed to. He was still in the dining hall when I left, so I decide to go in rather than stand in the hall waiting. When I step inside, I am amazed at how perfect it is. I can tell that he picked everything out himself, it is all sleek and simple but with a touch of beauty. The most striking feature of the space is the wall made entirely of windows, which makes it feel twice as big.

I hear a slight click and know immediately that he is here and, like always, planning to sneak up on me. I stand, looking out the window, until I can sense that he is a few steps behind me. Just before he has a chance to reach out, I quickly turn around and jump on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He takes a step back, but manages to stay steady on his feet.

"Still quick as ever. That will be an asset in training." He laughs.

"And you, well, you have definitely improved." I reply as I drop down to the floor. "Nice place your have here. Here is the key you gave me, by the way."

"Keep it. That way you have somewhere to go if you feel like you need to get away. I know how much you like your alone time and you can't get that in the dorm."

"Thanks."

He takes me by the hand and leads me to the couch. We sit together quietly for a while, and I remember how nice it is just to be with him. I missed this so much over the last two years. We have both changed so much, but we still have a connection that I hope is never broken. I lost in thought and don't even realize that I have curled up and tucked myself into his side.

"Hey, Tris, are you ok?" He asks with a concerned voice.

"I'm fine T.J., I just missed being with you." I say with a smile.

"Well I guess it's a good thing that you choose the right faction then."

"I guess, though I'm not sure if I can make it through."

"I KNOW that you can and will. You are much tougher than you realize, Tris, you always have been."

"I hope you are right." I say, still worried.

"How about this, you and I will train together. I always go to the training room early to work out, and you can join me."

"Ok."

He smiles at me and gives me a quick peck on the cheek, then he kisses my other cheek, then my nose, and finally settles on my lips. We stay like that for a few seconds before he pulls back. I notice the look on his face, a look that I think mirrors the way that I feel in this moment. A moment later we both lean in and share another kiss. When that kiss ends we both sit back and...


	18. Just a Kiss

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Don't hate me!

Tris

Previously...

He smiles at me and gives me a quick peck on the cheek, then he kisses my other cheek, then my nose, and finally settles on my lips. We stay like that for a few seconds before he pulls back. I notice the look on his face, a look that I think mirrors the way that I feel in this moment. A moment later we both lean in and share another kiss. When that kiss ends we both sit back and... simultaneously start laughing hysterically.

"Hmm..." Is the only sound he makes. I know that he feels like I do. That was nothing like our first kiss, just over two years ago. That kiss felt spontaneous and sweet, this one felt forced and awkward. I am by no means an expert on kissing, my experience is limited to two kisses with Tobias, but I know that it's not supposed to feel like that.

"Should we try that again?" I ask. He nods and we kiss again. This kiss is every bit as awkward as the last two.

"Hmm..." Comes from me this time. Tobias laughs again and I join him. Soon we are both laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face.

"I know that I am not an expert on kissing, but I think hysterical laughter is not the intended outcome." He says while catching his breath.

"I don't know what happened. We kissed before you left and it was wonderful." I say.

"Two years, that's what happened. We have both changed so much in the past two years. Maybe it's not a good idea to try and jump back to where we were back then. We are different people now. I think we need to get to know each other as who we are now."

"Maybe you're right. I still love you though."

"And I love you too. We just need to figure out what that means now."

"How about this, for now, we are friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Then we see where things go."

"Agreed." He replies holding out his hand. I grab his hand to shake it and he pull it to his lips to kiss the back of my hand.

"What time is it? I have to make sure I am not late getting back to the dorm. I want to be in bed by 10. My instructor would have my head if I stayed up too late and was not on time for training." I laugh. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the silver pocket watch that I gave him.

"It's 9:15 so you still have 45 minutes until bedtime."

"You still have it?" I say, pointing at the pocket watch.

"Of course I do, I have carried it with me every day since I left you. And I see that you still have this." He replies, touching my raven. When he does, he notices the bandage that is covering my tattoo. I had forgotten to show him. "So what's this?"

"I stopped by the tattoo parlor today and had Tori give me my first tattoo." I pull off the bandage to reveal my tattoo. I show him the three ravens flying towards my heart and explain that they are to represent the three members of my family and him.

"Me?" He questions.

"Did I ever tell you why I like ravens so much." He shakes his head and I continue. "A few months after we met, we were walking along the train tracks, wasting time before heading back home. I knew that the night before had been particularly bad for you and I wanted to cheer you up as much as possible. We came around the corner and there was a flock of ravens bathing in a puddle. When we got closer, they simply flew away. I looked at you and you were smiling, but your smile seemed so sad. Then it hit me, those birds had something that you NEVER had in your life... freedom. They could come and go as they pleased. No one was holding them still or locking them in a cage. Ever since that moment, I have seen the raven as a symbol of freedom. After you left Abnegation I wore this necklace every day and it would remind me that, even though I missed you terribly, it was good. You were free."

When I finish, I wipe my tears and turn to look at him. I see a single tear roll down his cheek and I brush it away. I cuddle back into his side and he kisses the top of my head. The next thing I know, he is waking me up.

"Tris, we fell asleep, it's just after 11. Do you want to stay here or head back to the dorm?"

"I WANT to stay here, but I NEED to go to the dorm." I stand and stretch. I give him a quick hug, slip on my boots, then turn to the door. I see him grab his shoes and follow me. "You don't need to come with, I know the way to the dorm."

"Not up for discussion, Tris. I am walking you back and that is final." He says, putting on the now familiar instructor voice.

"What if someone sees us together?" I ask.

"I will just tell them that I found you wandering around and decided to take you back to the dorm. Let's go."

"Yes sir." I reply with a half-hearted salute. We walk out the door and head in the direction of the dorms.

"Enough of that." He sighs. "By the way, did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?"

"You didn't, and it's about time. I thought you would have to pick your jaw up off the floor when I came into the dining hall earlier." I smirk.

"It wasn't that bad. Plus, if you hadn't noticed, I wasn't the only one looking."

"Yeah right. No one would want to look at this." I reply, gesturing to myself.

"Don't underestimate yourself, Trissy, you have no idea the effect you have on people."

Before I can respond, we have arrived at the dorm, unseen by anyone. He says goodnight and heads back home. I head to the bathroom, change my clothes, wash my face, and climb into bed and think about what he said. What effect could I possibly have on anyone? I am just a simple girl from Abnegation, there's nothing special about that. I'm not even pretty, without all of Christina's makeup. Before I can drift off to sleep, I hear the faint sound of crying nearby. I realize that it is Al. He is having a harder time adjusting than most of us.

I climb out of bed and walk to him. I whisper his name so he knows that it's me and sit beside him. I don't say anything else, there really isn't anything that I can say that would help. Then I do what my mother used to do for me when I couldn't sleep. I start rubbing lazy circles on his back. As we sit there, I can feel his breathing regulate, and sense him calming. I hear him whisper "Thank you, Tris." Then I can tell that he is asleep. I sit there for a moment longer, then climb back into my own bed and quickly fall asleep.


	19. Going Unnoticed

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I honestly have no idea how long the initiation is supposed to be, so I decided that stage one takes two weeks and stages two and three together take another week. I couldn't find the time frame listed anywhere. And yes the OCD in me resulted in researching proper stance and technique for firing a gun. I just simplified it a bit. Anyway, on with the story.

Tobias

I have been working on knife throwing with the initiates for about two days, most of them are doing well, even Al has improved enough to get an occasional bullseye. Tris, on the other hand, is amazing. She picked it up like it was second nature. When we met in the training room before the other initiates arrived yesterday, we did drills on her throwing, and it was impressive. I have even been teaching her some trick shots, she can do my over the shoulder throw and hit center most of the time.

Today we will start working with the guns. Since it is visiting day, we only have the morning session, visits at lunch, then the afternoon off. I had hoped that I could spend the rest of the day with Tris, but Christina roped her into another shopping trip. I tried to talk her out of it but she said that she needed to spend some time with Christina. I am glad that she is friends with her, even though she is a loud mouth Candor by nature, she is a good friend to Tris.

Tris shows up at 6:30 am on the dot, and we jump right into training. She wants to start by warming up on the treadmill, and then move on to conditioning. She does sprint drills, and it doesn't surprise me at all that she excels at it, she has always been fast and agile. Then we move on to some core work, mostly crunches and push ups. I am a bit concerned about her when we start the fights. She is tough, but she is tiny and is lacking muscles. She is toned, but her size makes it difficult for her to get much power. I make a mental note to work on a plan for that.

While she finishes with another run on the treadmill, I set up for the gun lesson. Each station is equipped with a target, and table that has the handgun, ammunition, and goggles. I am the one who insisted on the goggles, after an initiate last year nearly lost his eye from a ricochet bullet. When the other initiates arrive, I give a brief demonstration, put them all at a station, and tell them to begin. My plan is to watch them try on their own and then work with them tomorrow.

I step back and watch them shoot with varying degrees of skill. The best, unfortunately, is Peter. He is so cocky and anoying, it makes me wish that he was terrible at this. Then his attitude gets the better of him after becoming the first to hit the bullseye. I see him waving his arms around, gun in hand, trying to make sure that all the others noticed his shot. I have decided that this is enough. I quickly and quietly slip over to him, reach out easily disarming him, turn the gun to point directly at his head, and click a bullet into the chamber.

"Wake up!" I snap. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." I see Peter's face grow pale. I place the gun on the table and turn to walk away, ordering the others to get back to work. As they continue, I get back to watching their progress. To my dismay, when I look at Tris, I see that she is doing terribly. She has yet to hit the target. I am only glad that Eric didn't decide to show up to observe training today. I quickly devise a new plan and call for their attention.

"Guns down, gather over here!" They all do as instructed and I continue. "Ok, we have two more hours to work today and I am going to partner up and you will work together on your stance and technique. I will give the pairings, and don't bother complaining about it." I step back, surveying the group, before announcing the pairs.

"Christina and Will go to station 1. Edward and Peter go to station 3. Myra and Al go to station 5. Molly and Drew go to station 7. Get to it."

"What about Tris?" Christina asks.

"Oh, right. I guess I will work with her at station 9. Get started everyone. I expect to see improvement by lunch." Tris and I head to our station and she gives me a knowing look.

"I know, I am that bad." She sighs.

"You will get better, I promise. I had to learn how to do this once too."

"But I'm pretty sure that you didn't miss the target every time at first."

"No, but we will work through it. Go ahead and take your stance and take one shot." She steps up, lifts the gun, and shoots, missing the target entirely.

"This is hopeless." She huffs.

"Never hopeless." I reply then continue quietly, so only she can hear. "The Tris I know doesn't give up that easily. One step at a time. First off, we need to work on your stance. Start with your feet shoulder width apart, now move your right foot forward a bit and aim it at your target." I nudge her foot into position. "Now, curl your upper body forward, grip the gun in both hands, and raise your arms to shoulder level. Relax your shoulders, take a deep breath, aim, and squeeze the trigger." She follows my instructions, and when she fires, she hits the target two rings from the outside edge. "Much better, but you need to remember to squeeze the trigger, not pull it."

"I don't understand what the difference is." She mutters.

"Let me show you." I wrap my arms around her, matching her stance, and shadowing her position. I cover her hands with my own and place my finger with her's on the trigger. "When you pull the trigger, you are making a more sudden, jerking motion. That lacks control." I demonstrate this motion. We hit the target, but barely. "Now squeezing the trigger is smoother, more deliberate. You have total control over the gun and bullet." We shoot again, this time with proper form and control. It hits the target dead center. She squeals slightly before regaining her composure. I step back and tell her to try again.

She does exactly what I said and this time, when she fires she hits the second ring from the center. She looks at me with a grateful smile and continues practicing. I watch as she gets closer and closer to dead center, and once she hits it, I step away to help the others. I am glad that I was able to help her in this way, but I just hope that no one else noticed her getting any special attention. I want them to see this as just another exercise. I will have to be careful though if I have any hope of our friendship, or whatever it is, going unnoticed.

We finish training for the morning and I release them to go get ready for visiting day. I hope that Tris' mom comes. Not only do I want Tris to be able to see her mom, but I would really like to see Natalie too. She kind of became like a second mother to me, after mine died, and I have missed her since I left. Most mothers in Abnegation would not have liked their daughter spending time alone with a boy, especially one with a troubled home life like me, but she has always treated me with such kindness and love. I can see a lot of her in Tris. I go to my apartment, get cleaned up, and head to the Pit for visiting day.


	20. Visiting Day

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I adore the character of Natalie Prior. What do you guys think, should Natalie make occasional appearances? Let me know. Thanks for all the comments. I will update as often as I can.

Tris

As soon as we are finished with training for the morning, I head straight to the dorm to get ready. I want to be sure that I can get a shower right away, so I decide to run back, and I am the first to get there. I'm still not quite comfortable with sharing the same bathroom with so many people, but I am getting over it little by little. I grab my shower caddy, towel, and fluffy black robe and head to the showers, hoping that I can finish before anyone else arrives. There are curtains around each shower stall, but I still feel too exposed.

I get out of the shower slip into my robe, and head back into the dorm room to get my clothes that I forgot to take with me. Much to my dismay, one person has come back to the dorm and it's the last person I would want, Peter.

"Nice legs, stiff. I wonder how they would look, wrapped around me." Peter chuckles. I decide not to respond to him and, instead, turn my back to him and gather my clothing. The next thing I know, I feel a hand lightly gripping my shoulder. I instinctively spin around to face him. He is far too close for comfort.

"Too good to talk to me, stiff?"

"Just back off, Peter, I am in no mood for your games today." He doesn't back away at all, instead he inches ever so slightly closer. I am getting nervous, but will not allow him to see that. "What exactly is your problem, Peter?"

"Problem, I have no problems. Didn't you see me in training today? I was amazing. Not a single initiate has a chance at out-ranking me."

"I swear, Peter, your idiocy is only outdone by your over - inflated ego. Now, I will only tell you one more time. Back off!" He inches even closer.

"Oh, stiff, I would really like to see you try and force me." Just as I am deciding on my plan of action, the door swings open and Christina, Will, and Al walk in. Peter takes a step back. Will, takes one look at my face and quickly comes over, stepping between us.

"Don't you think you should be getting ready over by your bunk, Peter?" Will says forcefully.

"I don't see how it is any of your business. The stiff and I were just having a nice conversation, weren't we, stiff?" Peter responds.

"Peter, I believe that I made it more than clear to you that I am not in the least bit interested in your conversation." I reply as Christina and Al step closer.

"I think that she was pretty clear. Step away Peter, don't humiliate yourself any more than you already have." Christina practically growls. Al remains silent, but his presence is enough. These are my friends and I am so grateful to have them. Peter shakes his head and walks away.

"Thanks guys." I smile

"Anytime, Trissy - Poo!" Will says, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"Trissy -Poo?" I ask.

"No?" He asks with a grin.

"No! That is definitely a no!"

"Alright boys, back off. Tris and I need to get ready and there is not much time." Christina says, shooing them away, then she turns to me.

"What are you planning to wear?" I show her the black jeans and top that I picked.

"Nope! This is visiting day, not training try again."

I pull out another outfit and she simply shakes her head and begins rifling through my clothes. She finally settles on an outfit consisting of black Capri pants, a black tank top that shows off my tattoo, and a flowy black wrap sweater with silver threads. I even let her pick my shoes mostly because she decided on black strappy sandals rather than the heels she normally tries to force me into. She concedes on my hair and makeup, allowing me to go with a simple ponytail and just a touch of lip gloss. She, on the other hand, is dressed impeccably with her hair and makeup perfectly done.

We head to the Pit with Will and Al, who have been not - so - patiently waiting for us. Christina shrieks and drags us to a woman who I instantly know is her mother. I then know where Christina gets her taste in fashion. Her mother, who I am guessing is in her mid to late forties, is dressed in a stunning white dress with black trim, black high heels, and had her hair and makeup done. She is beautiful. Beside her, I see Christina's sister, Rose.

"Mom, Rose, I want to introduce you to my friends. This is Tris, Will, and Al." Her mom reaches out for a handshake and I pause for just a moment before I do the same.

"It's very nice to meet you Mrs..." I say before she interrupts.

"Call me Stephanie, dear." She says with a genuine smile.

"It's nice to meet you Stephanie, and you too Rose. But, if you don't mind, I am going to see if my parents have arrived."

Will, Al, and I slip away a day head off is different directions, looking for our families. It takes me a few minutes, but then I spot her and run to her. I grab her into the tightest hug possible and hold on for a long time. I finally pull away and she takes a step back.

"Let me take a good look at you, sweetheart." She indicates for me to turn in a circle and I oblige. "Sweetheart, you look beautiful."

"Thanks, mom." I say, blushing a bit. I am not used to compliments. "Mom there are a few people that I want you to meet, and one I would like you to meet again,if we can find him."

I lead her over to Al first, then Will and finally Christina. We talk to each of them for a moment before moving on. I start scanning the room, looking for Tobias, when I hear him clearing his throat behind us. My mom's face lights up and she turns to greet him.

"Hi, To..." Is all she manages to get out before I interrupt.

"Mom, this is my initiation instructor, Four." I say intently. She nods slightly.

"It is very nice to meet you, Four."

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Prior." He replies with a wink.

"Natalie, dear, call me Natalie."

"Very well Natalie. I only wish that we were able to talk a bit more privately." He says.

"I think I know how that can be arranged." She smiles.

She leads us out of the room and through a series of hallways until we reach a tiny alcove near the chasm. She has been in Abnegation for so many years, but still remembers Dauntless like the back of her hand.

"How did you know about this spot?" Tobias asks.

"Don't forget, dear, I was Dauntless once too." She laughs.

"I know, but this is my favorite spot in the entire faction. I have never seen anyone else come here before."

"Well, now that we are alone, I can finally give you a proper greeting. Hello, Tobias, I have missed you." She wraps him in a tight hug, and I think I have never seen him look so at ease. He really seems to care for my mom.

"I have missed you too, Natalie."

We talk for about a half an hour before T.J. decides that he better head back. He is supposed to be meeting with the families of the other initiates. My mom gives him another crushing hug before we leave our hideout and head back.

"Take care of each other, ok. I love you both." She says.

"I love you too, momma." I say through my impending tears.

"And I love you too, Mrs... I mean Natalie." Tobias replies.

"You know what, Tobias? I think mom sounds better, if you want." She says, taking his hand.

"That sounds good to me. I love you too... mom." He says with a smile that makes him seem younger than he has in years.

We head back and I continue talking to my mom, while Tobias makes his way around the room, meeting with the families of the other initiates. All too soon, it's time for the families to leave. I tightly hug my mom before she leaves.

"I love you momma." I say.

"I love you too, sweetheart. I am sure that I will see you sometime soon." I look at her curiously. "You know, you and Tobias aren't the only ones who know how to jump on the train and slip out of the faction for the day." She smiles and turns to leave while I stand there, stunned. She surprises me more and more all the time.

After they leave, Christina finds me to remind me of my promise to go shopping with her. I groan in protest, but follow along anyway. As much as I don't like shopping, I don't really mind it as much when I am with Christina. She is so fun, lively, and energetic that it rubs off on me and I can sense my own mood lightening. When we have finished and hauled the many shopping bags back to the dorm, she tries to convince me to go to the dance club with her. I am really not in the mood to go and convince her to go without me.

As soon as she leaves, I head out too. I, however, head to T.J.'s apartment to see if he is home. When I knock, I am surprised when someone else answers. I step back, looking at the apartment number, to make sure that I came to the right one. Understanding my confusion, he calls for Four and introduces himself.

"Hey, I am Zeke. And you must be the famous Tris." He says stepping aside to let me in.

"I'm not so sure about the famous part, but I am Tris." I reply, then walk in.

Tobias comes in from the other room and seems surprised to see me.

"Hey, Tris, I thought you were spending the evening with Christina tonight."

"I was, but she wanted to go to the dance club and I didn't. I can come back another time." I say, moving towards the door.

"Stay, Tris. I want my two best friends to get to know each other. Besides, Zeke is the only person in Dauntless that knows that we are friends. I think it would be nice for us to spend time together."

"Do you mind if I intrude on your plans, Zeke?" I ask shyly.

"Do I mind? Never! It might be a treat to spend time with someone other than this guy." Zeke laughs.

We spend the next few hours just talking and watching some TV shows. When I start getting tired, I stand to leave and both Tobias and Zeke stand and walk me to the door. Zeke says that he is leaving too and offers to walk me back to the dorm. I hug T.J. and we leave together. When we get to the dorm, I say goodbye to Zeke. He gives me a crushing hug and says that we need to hang out again. I agree and he heads home. I am starting to see why he and Tobias are friends. He seems like a really great guy and I am glad that he has been here for T.J. for the last two years.

I get ready for bed and lay there thinking about Tobias, Zeke, Christina, Will, and Al. In just a few days, I have made more friends than I ever had during my 16 years in Abnegation. Growing up, I never expected to be Dauntless, but I know now that I made the right choice. Now I just have to make sure that I earn my place to stay here. I set my alarm for 5 am. I am going to work harder than ever to make sure that I can stay.


	21. Working Hard

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Thanks for the nice comments. It amazes me that people actually enjoy reading the things that I write.

Tobias

I arrive at the training room at 6:30 am, just as I have for the last couple days, to meet with Tris for extra training. But when I get there I am surprised to see that she is already there, and from the looks of it, she has been there for a while. She is running on the treadmill and doesn't notice me at first because she has her headphones on. She just got an MP3 player and has realized how much she loves music. In Abnegation, music was considered a luxury and therefore it was selfish to spend time listening to it. When I finally get her attention, she pauses her music, gets off the treadmill, and jogs over to me.

"When did you get here?" I ask.

"I think it was about 5:30"

"If you had told me, I would have met you then." I say, a little annoyed.

"If wanted to have some extra time to run before we start training and I figured you would need the extra sleep."

"I just don't like the idea of you being in here all alone. It would kill me if anything happened to you."

"T.J., nothing is going to happen to me. You don't have to protect me all the time."

"If know that I don't HAVE to, but I want to. Yes, I want you to be able to take care of yourself, but I want you to know that I will always be here for you when you need me."

"Ok, I give!" She replies, putting her hands up in mock surrender. "The next time that I decide to come here early, I will let you know. By the way, that will be tomorrow."

"Ok, I will be here."

I run through my normal routine while Tris does her conditioning exercises. I am still worried about the fighting stage. I know that she's tough, but she is tiny and that will make it hard for her to compete with some of the other initiates. I am also worried because, this year, Eric has decided that he will be selecting the sparring matches. He has also managed to have Max change the rules about conceding in a fight. The new rule is simple, no one concedes, you fight until one person is unable to continue. I just need to figure out a strategy for her to use her strengths and overcome her weaknesses. But for now, we need to get through the guns.

I know for certain that Eric and Max will be coming to observe training today and I want her to be on top of her game. She showed major improvement yesterday, but she needs to be as close to perfection as possible. Eric seems to have it out for her, and I will not give him anything to attack her on.

We work on target practice for a little while, and by the time we finish, she is hitting the center with every shot. When I tell her that it is almost time for the other initiates to arrive, she stops shooting and heads back to the treadmill, so no one else will know that she has been practicing. I setup all the stations and take a few shots before the initiates arrive. Once they are there, Tris rejoins the group and our day begins.

Max and Eric arrive shortly after we begin. I greet Max, but mostly try to avoid Eric. I see Eric watching the initiates, but seemingly paying more attention to Tris as she shoots. Thankfully, she in flawless, she never misses the bullseye. She in the only one, other than Peter, to hit it every time. I try to act normally, walking around giving instructions as needed, but keep watching her out of the corner of my eye. I am so proud of her.

Max stops at each station and takes a few notes as he goes. He seems to spend more time at two stations than the others, Tris' and Peter's, the best two. He finishes at Tris' station, says something to her, then heads in my direction. I see her smiling brightly as he walks away.

"Well, Four, your initiates seem to be doing quite well. I have noticed that two of them are particularly good. I was thinking, we should have some sort of contest between the two of them and the best two from the Dauntless born initiates. I will come back tomorrow at the end of training and we will have them see who is the best shot. The winner will have 100 extra points added to their account. Please let your group know and I will inform the others. See you then." Max says before walking away, Eric on his heels.

"Initiates, gather up." I call out. They quickly put down their guns and gather around me. "Max just informed me that we will be having a little contest tomorrow afternoon. The winner will receive 100 extra points on their account to spend however they wish. This will be target practice between the top two shooters from this group and the top two from the Dauntless born. Max has chosen the two of you who will be competing and will do the same with the others. I expect that you will all respect this decision and that you will support your fellow transfer initiates. The two transfer initiates who have been selected are Peter and Tris." At this, Tris looks happy but shocked, and Peter has his typical cocky look.

"Alright everyone, we will take a break for lunch now and will get back to this afterwards. Be back by 1 pm."

They all file out of the room, except Tris and Christina. I hear Tris tell Christina that she needs to ask me a question and will meet her in the dining hall. Christina leaves, and Tris heads to me.

"You didn't have to do that, you know." She says.

"I swear to you, Tris, I didn't do anything. It was all Max's idea. He thought up the contest, and he selected the two of you to compete." I shrug. She looks at me like she is trying to decide whether or not to believe me.

"Ok, well I am excited about it either way. Now, let's head to lunch, I am starving."

After lunch, we return to the training room and practice until 4 pm, when I dismiss them for the day. I head home to straighten up my apartment a bit before Tris and Zeke are to arrive. Zeke is picking up a pizza, Tris is bringing dessert (hopefully Dauntless chocolate cake), and I am providing drinks and entertainment. I rented two movies to watch.

Tris arrives about a half an hour later and, to my delight, brought the cake, ice cream, and hot fudge. Zeke arrives a few minutes later. He doesn't even bother to knock, he just walks right in and plops the pizza on the counter. He then sees Tris and gives her a giant bear hug.

"Hey, Trissy-Wissy." He exclaims.

"Really Zekey-Wekey?"

"Ok, I take that as a no on Trissy-Wissy, and it is a big no on Zekey-Wekey by the way." He replies, laughing. "Mark my words, I will come up with something."

"Ok, but, I get veto power on any proposed nicknames." She responds.

"Agreed." He says and they share an exaggerated handshake.

"Now that the formalities are over, can we please eat?" I sigh.

Over the next few hours, we watch both movies and manage to polish off the entire pizza, as well as the cake and carton of ice cream. Admittedly, Zeke and I ate most of the cake and ice cream, but Tris managed to eat her fair share of the pizza. It baffles me, that a girl who is as small as she is, can eat as much as she can. Though, watching her in training, I can understand it a bit better.

At the end of the night, Zeke offers to walk Tris back to the dorm again. I am glad that my two best friends are getting along so well but a part of me wonders if there may be something more than that brewing, and for some reason, that idea bothers me a little.


	22. T & Z

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

This is a very short chapter, I know, but I didn't think of it before posting the last one and it doesn't make sense with the next.

Tris

Zeke and I are walking towards the dorm and I can't help but notice that he is acting strange. He seems so nervous and fidgety, not at all like he has been before. Finally, I can't hold it in any longer.

"Ok Zeke, what is going on in that head of yours."

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with me." He replies, unconvincing.

"Spill it Zeke, I may have only met you a few days ago, but even I know you well enough to see that you have something on your mind." I stop, grab him by the arm, and spin him to face me.

"Ok, I give. There is something that I want to ask you, but it makes me nervous. I have never really had many female friends before and I feel awkward asking you this." He hedges.

"Out with it!" I demand, smiling.

"Ok, so there's this girl that I really want to ask out, but she and I are friends and I am not sure if she would be interested in me. And I really don't know how to find out, without humiliating myself in the process." He blurts out quickly. I think for a moment before answering.

"So, here is the plan. Christina and I are planning to go to the dance club Saturday night. We can invite a bunch of other people, making sure to include this friend of yours, and make a party of it. That way you can spend some time with her, in a neutral environment, and I can get to know her too. Then we can see if she is interested. But Zeke, she most likely is, I mean you seem pretty awesome to me." I grin.

"Thanks, T. So you promise that you will be there Saturday night? I can't do this without you."

"T? Hmm... I guess I will allow it... Z. And, yes, I promise I will be there. I can't let my buddy make a fool of himself, now can I?"

"Really, Tris? I don't think I would make a fool of myself." He tries to pout, but ends up laughing.

"You? Never!" I say, pinching his cheeks.

"That is what I thought." He replies, puffing his chest out comically. "Now let's get you home little lady."

We finish walking to the dorm and he leaves me at the open door with a bone - crushing hug. When I walk in, I see Christina looking at me strangely. I head over to and sit next to her on the bed.

"Who was that?" She asks, wiggling her eye brows.

"That is just my friend, Zeke."

"He looked to be a little more than a friend to me."

"It's not like that, Chris, he is just a friend. Besides, he just told me that there is a girl that he is interested in, that he needs my help with. That reminds me, I told him that we would have a little party at the dance club Saturday night, so he can work up the nerve to ask her out."

"Sounds good to me, but Tris, I still think he is interested in you."

"What ever you say, Christina." I roll my eyes. I climb into my bed, too exhausted to even change for bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day and I need to get as much sleep as possible.


	23. May The Best Initiate Win

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Heads up to you all, I have been asked by a few people to let you who Tris will end up with. Though I am not going to let you know now, I will say that I am going to resolve the question about Zeke in the next chapter. It doesn't fit in this one.

Tobias

Training was pretty average today, but I can tell that the initiates are excited for today's competition. I have full confidence in Tris' abilities I am still a bit nervous for her. I hope that she is able to perform well underpressure. Peter is good, as much as I hate to admit it. I have never seen the two Dauntless born initiates shooting, but I know that Zeke's brother Uriah is one of the two competing, and I have heard that he is very skilled. The other is a girl named Lynn, Zeke says that she is good and cool under pressure.

Max, Eric, and a group of others arrive for the competition promptly at 3 pm. The Dauntless initiates also come over to our training room. Max calls the four selected initiates, Tris, Peter, Uriah, and Lynn, to the front to get started. They step forward and Max announces the rules of the competition. The initiates will each begin by taking 10 shots with the normal target setup, then the lowest scoring initiate will be eliminated. Round 2 will involve the target being moved 50 yards back, again the lowest scoring initiate will be eliminated. Round 3 will be an additional 50 yards back and the highest score wins. In the event of a tie, there will be a tiebreaker to be announced by Max if necessary. The shots are scored as follows:

Bullseye - 10 points

1st ring - 8 points

2nd ring - 6 points

3rd ring - 4 points

4th ring - 2 points

All other rings - 0 points

Missed target - lose 2 points

Round 1 - Max calls Lynn to start. She hits the bullseye 7 times, the first ring twice, and the 3rd ring once. Total score - 90 points. Then Uriah shoots. He hits the bullseye 9 times and the 4th ring once. Total score - 92 points. Peter is third to go. Bullseye on all shots. Total score - 100 points. Tris then takes her turn and also gets bullseye 10 times. Total score - 100 points. Lynn is eliminated.

Round 2 - Peter is called first. He again gets 10 bullseyes. Total score - 100 points. Uriah is next and gets bullseye 8 times and the 1st ring twice. Total score - 96 points. Tris is last to shoot and I get a bit nervous as she steps up. My fears are relieved when she gets bullseye on all shots. Total score - 100 points. Uriah is eliminated.

Round 3 - Tris starts and with the first shot hits the 4th ring out. She is visibly shaken but takes a deep breath before her next shot and manages to hit bullseye. She also hits bullseye on the next 8 shots. Total score 92 points. Peter has a smug look on his face as he steps up to take his turn. He takes his first shot... bullseye, second shot...bullseye, shots 3 to 9... bullseye. He looks at Tris, gives her a cocky wink, and turns back to the target to take his final, expected winning, shot. He lines up, prepares, takes his shot... and hits the 4th ring out. Final score - 92 points. He is obviously frustrated as he steps away.

Max steps up and announces the tiebreaker. Each initiate will select 5 throwing knives and make their throw. Then then the other will attempt to match the shot. This will continue, rotating who will begin for each throw. Max will evaluate them based on accuracy and skill and then will decide on a winner. Tris will begin.

1st throw - Tris steps up and takes a normal throw, hitting the bullseye dead - center. Peter follows, matching her shot nearly identically.

2nd throw - Peter takes his knife and throws it underhanded, hitting the bullseye on the right hand side. Tris copies his throw with a matching stick, on the right side of the bullseye.

3rd throw - Tris turns sideways to the target and throws sidearm, hitting the bullseye just below the center point. Peter make the same, hitting dead center.

4th throw - Peter throws, left handed, and still manages to get a bullseye. Tris does the same.

5th, and final, throw - Tris steps up, takes aim for a standard throw, then at the last moment turn around. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and throws the knife backwards over her shoulder. The group erupts in cheers after the knife plants itself directly in the center of the target. Peter's normal smug look fades a little as he takes his place. He lines himself up, checking over his shoulder a few times, and launches the knife over his shoulder. His knife flies with incredible speed, missing the target entirely.

Max announces that Tris, obviously, won and uses his phone to scan her card and add her prize point. I then release the initiates from training and instruct them to be here at 8 am on Monday to begin the fighting stage. Everyone noisily leaves the room but I notice Peter give Tris a hateful look as he exits. As soon as they are all gone, Tris runs to me, jumping on me for a hug.

"That was amazing, Trissy." I say.

"I owe you for that, which is why I am going to let you get away with calling me that." She laughs.

"That was all you, I only helped a little, you are the one who did the work. I am so proud of you!"

"Hey, are you planning to come to the dance club tomorrow night?" She asks me.

"I don't know. I don't usually go there." I sigh.

"Please, T.J., I promised Christina that I would go, but I want to be able to see you too."

"But, Tris, we won't really be able to spend time together there. It would be too easy for someone to figure us out if we did." I try to reason with her.

"But if a whole group of us are there, it wouldn't seem abnormal for us to be there together. Besides, Zeke is going to be there, and he said that he is bringing a few people with him. Please, please, please." She says with a pout.

"Alright already, I give up! I will go. But I can't promise that I will stay very long. Deal?"

"Deal!" She says and shakes my hand.

"Let's get out of here and let you experience your first true Dauntless weekend." I say, pulling her towards the door.

We separate as soon as we reach the door. I head to my apartment and she goes to the dorm to get cleaned up before she comes over. It is just the two of us tonight because Zeke made plans to spend the evening with Uriah. I pick up take-out Chinese food and get everything ready before she arrives. We spend the evening eating, talking, laughing, and watching TV. I don't even realize how late it is until I see the clock shows 2 am. We decide to finishthe movie that we are watching before she heads home. It has been a pretty good day.


	24. Party - Dauntless Style

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

I should have expected that agreeing to go to the dance club with Christina would mean that we would be spending the morning shopping. I am fairly sure that we went to every single store in the entire faction. I lost count of how much I bought, but I spent all the points that I won yesterday, and then some. Christina even convinced me to buy a new outfit, of her choosing, to wear tonight. It is a black, of course, dress with sleeves that come just past my elbows. The top is covered in black lace with black flowers. My biggest concern with it, is that it is much shorter than any dress I have ever worn. When I expressed my concern about it, she said that it was just my "Abnegation showing", and maybe she's right. She is also insisting that I wear a pair of 6 inch high strappy shoes, that she says makes me look like I have long legs. I, on the other hand, think they will make me have a broken leg.

We are planning to head to the club right after dinner, so Christina insists on starting to get ready right after lunch. After hours of her primping, curling, and painting my face, she finally announces that we are both ready to go. I step into the bathroom and look in the mirror. Again, I am convinced that she is some sort of miracle worker. My skin looks flawless, my hair actually has some volume and shines, my makeup is perfectly done, and the shoes actually do make my legs look longer.

We head to the dining hall and I try to slip in unnoticed, and fail. Tobias gives me a quick wink before turning back to his food. I also catch a few others staring at us, including Peter, which makes me feel really awkward. I slip into a seat next to Will and make Christina get my food, unlike me, she enjoys the attention. After dinner, a group of us gather, and we head to the club.

I head straight to a table in the corner, still feeling uncomfortable with the attention I have gotten so far. I look around and see that the club is getting busier, and filling up quickly. I actually prefer it this way. It is easier to blend in with so many others around. I manage to sit, undisturbed, for about an hour without anyone noticing me. It is so loud that I don't even realize when T.J. slips up beside me. He leans in and whispers in my ear.

"You look good, Tris."

"You sound drunk Tobias." I reply, a bit annoyed.

"I think I am. I am not much of a drinker, and Zeke made me do shots with him."

"Made you? Unless he tied your hands behind your back and poured it down your throat, I am pretty sure he didn't MAKE you." I snap. I hate dealing with drunk people. "Sit down T.J. I will get you some water."

He sits at my table and I work my way to the bar to get some water. On the way, I am stopped by Zeke and his brother Uriah. Zeke introduces us, though we have briefly met before and then accompanies me to the bar. While we wait for someone to come help us, we start talking.

"So where is thir mystery girl of yours?" I ask, jokingly elbowing him in the stomach.

"She is here." He states simply.

"So point her out to me."

"I don't know if I can do that, Tris."

"Is the great Zeke going to chicken out on me?" I tease.

"Well, since you put it that way, T, maybe I just don't feel like telling you. What do you think about that?" He huffs.

"Please forgive me my wonderful friend." I roll my eyes. "But seriously, Z, who is she?" He pauses for much too long. "Out with it, Zeke!"

"Ok, ok. I will tell you... well it's..." And just as he is about to tell me, the bartender steps up and interrupts us. I ask for two waters and Zeke orders a Coke. In a few moments we have our drinks and head back to the table, where I left Tobias.

"Don't think that you are off the hook here." I say to Zeke as we get to the table. T.J. gives me a look and I mouth "Later."

I stay at the table for a little while until Christina comes and drags me to the dance floor. I dance for a bit, and find that I am actually enjoying myself. I get thirsty and decide to check on Tobias and drink some of my water. I head over and he is still sitting with Zeke. I take a quick drink and then decide to head back to the dance floor, this time dragging Zeke with me. I decide to keep him with me and interrogate him while we are there.

"Now is the time for you to spill it, Zeke." I say loudly enough for only him to hear.

"Alright, I will tell you. The person I have been talking about is right here." He points just over my left shoulder. I turn and see a girl who looks vaguely familiar to me. I look at her for a few moments before I remember that Tobias once introduced me to her.

"I remember her. Her name is..." I say, going blank on her name.

"Shauna." Zeke finishes. I can't help but smile when I see the look on his face as he says her name.

"So go talk to her. Ask her to dance." Just then the music changes to a slow song and Zeke pulls me in closely to continue dancing. He is really quite good at dancing.

"I don't know, Tris, she and I are friends, and I am afraid of messing that up. How can I know that it will not ruin our relationship if I try for more than friendship?" He questions.

"I can't promise you that it won't change things between you, but I can promise you that if you don't, you will always wonder what might have been." I say as we sway together to the music.

"Ok, I will go talk to her." He says.

We finish the song and he hugs me tightly before walking towards Shauna. I look for T.J. at the table but see that he is not there, then head off to find Christina. I see her standing by the bar and start pushing through the crowd to reach her and tell her that I am going to head back to the dorm.

Tobias

I sit at the table in the corner, sipping on my water, remembering why I rarely drink. I feel awful already. I look up to the dance floor and see Tris and Zeke dancing to a fun song with a fast tempo. She looks like she is having a great time out there. Then as the music changes, I see Zeke pull Tris in closely, and they begin swaying together to the music. I see her smiling as they talk, wrapped in each other's arms. I am not sure why, but this makes me a bit angry. I should be glad to see my two best friends happy together, but I am not. I can't sit and watch this any longer, so I get up and head back home. I think it was a bad idea for me to come tonight.

Tris

I can't seem to locate Christina because, even in these shoes, I am too short to see through the crowd. I see the platform in the center of the room and climb up to look around. I finally spot her and wave her to come over to me. While I am waiting for her, I walk to the edge to look around. Suddenly I hear a commotion behind me and I turn to see two guys fighting nearby. The next thing I know, they are crashing into me and in these shoes I can't catch my balance. I fall with a thud, hitting my head on something hard.

Then I feel myself land with a thud, smacking my head on something hard. I lay there for a second before I feel two strong hands sitting me up. I look at the person in front of me and it takes me a few moments to realize that I am sitting on his lap. When I fell, I must have landed directly on him. Embarrassed, I scramble to get up, only to realize that one of my shoes is broken and I lose my balance again.

"I am so sorry." I say.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad I was in the right place at the right time. By the way, I'm Jake." He replies.

"I'm Tris." I say. At that moment Christina arrives and I turn to walk away. "Well thanks for catching me. Have a good night." We walk away before Christina has a chance to talk.

"So who was that?" She questions.

"Just the guy who I landed on. It was humiliating, Chris! Thankfully, he was nice about it. I have made a big enough fool of myself for one evening, plus this stupid shoe is broken. I am going back to the dorm, you can stay here, but I am leaving."

"Come on Tris, it is still early." Christina whines.

"Nope. But, seriously, you stay. I am ok to head back myself."

I head out and walk back towards the dorm, feeling exhausted and ready to just relax, when I round a corner and who should I see lurking there? None other than Peter. I walk past him, pretending to be oblivious to his presence, when I feel a hand on my arm. The hand tightens and I spin around to face him...


	25. Peter

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

Previously...

I head out and walk back towards the dorm, feeling exhausted and ready to just relax, when I round a corner and who should I see lurking there? None other than Peter. I walk past him, pretending to be oblivious to his presence, when I feel a hand on my arm. The hand tightens and I spin around to face him...

"Headed home so soon, stiff?" He sneers.

"What do you want, Peter?" I say, exasperated.

"Who says that I want anything from you?"

"Then leave me alone!" I demand.

"What, you too stiff to have a little fun?" He says, stepping closer, nearly pinning me to the wall. I am getting nervous, but can't let him see.

"Are you deaf, or just stupid? I have been completely clear with you. I do not like you, Peter. You are rude, abrasive, condescending, and in general just a jerk."

"You just think that you are so much better than me, don't you? Well, we'll see about that, won't we? I doubt that you will even make it through initiation." He says, stepping even closer. I am struggling to keep calm and not scream out for help. I can't seem weak.

"Just back off! I am leaving now, whether you like it or not."

"I don't think so." He says, simply. I am starting to loose control of my breathing and I know that he can sense my growing fear. What does he plan to do to me? I can only think of the worst case scenario. I look down, just as my fear is reaching it's peak, and I feel him pull back from me with force.

I look up in time to see Peter being flung backwards and slamming into the opposite wall. I am stunned when I see that it is Zeke who sent him flying. Zeke towers over Peter as he sits, slumped, against the wall.

"I am fairly certain that I heard Tris tell you to back off, and I suggest that you do as she says." Zeke says in a threatening tone. Peter says nothing, stands, and runs down the hall. Zeke places his hand gently on my arm.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Yes, I think so." I stutter.

"I am just glad that I was passing by."

"Me too, but where were you coming from? The last time I saw you, you were headed to talk to Shauna. Did you chicken out?"

"I did go talk to her, in fact, I just walked her home. Now, let's get you home."

We walk the rest of the way to the dorm. I expect him to turn and leave, like he usually does, but instead he follows me in. I walk to my bunk, grab my sweats, and excuse myself to change. Once I finish changing and washing all the makeup off, I return to my bunk and see Zeke waiting for me. I sit on the bed next to him and lean against his side. We sit silently for a moment before he speaks.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asks.

"Not really, but I think I need to. I don't understand what is wrong with Peter. I have never done anything to him, and he does everything that he can to torment and terrify me."

"You didn't have to do anything to him, it seems to me, that cruelty is just in his nature. Some people are just like that." He says.

"But why me?" I sigh.

"It's just a theory, but I think it's because he can see that you are special, and he wants to try to stop you from reaching your full potential."

"Since when are you so deep?" I joke.

"Layers, T, I am like an onion. Layer upon layer of awesomeness. You have only known me for less than a week, but you will learn just how amazing I truly am."

"I am sure that I will." I laugh.

We sit and talk for a while . We talk about my family and his. We talk about initiation, and I find out that he was third ranking, just after Tobias and Eric. We discuss his upcoming date with Shauna and I help him decide on the plans. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with him, and before I know it, hours have passed. My eyes are drooping, but I am enjoying this so much, that I don't want to end the night.

Christina comes in and makes her way to her bunk, next to mine. She and Zeke introduce themselves and then Zeke gives me a quick hug before leaving. Christina gives me a look and plops down next to me.

"Still claiming that he is just a friend?" She smirks.

"Yes, I am, because that is the truth. Besides, I just spent an hour helping him plan a date with a girl named Shauna. You were Candor, you know that I am not lying." I say. She stares at me for a moment before nodding.

"Ok, so what was he doing here?"

I tell her the story of what happened with Peter earlier. She looks visibly upset when I tell her the details. Then it dawns on me that she might be a good person to ask about him, after all, they grew up in the same faction.

"Chris, what is wrong with him? Has he always been this awful?" I ask.

"Not always, we were actually friends when we were kids. Our parents were close, so we basically grew up together. But about 3 or 4 years ago he started changing. It was gradual at first, but eventually he was just a different person entirely. I can't explain it, but he is nothing like the person that he used to be." She says.

"Do you know if anything happened to him?" I ask.

"Not that I know of. The only thing that I know is that he started becoming more and more withdrawn. He used to hang out all the time, but he started coming up with excuses for staying home. I know, from talking to his sister, that he was having headaches. But even after that got better, he avoided those of us who had been his friends. And it just got worse and worse over the years, until he became the person that you know him to be." She explains.

Just then Peter walks in the room and gives me an intense, hateful look. Christina sees him and stands protectively in front of me with her arms crossed. He stares at her for a moment before turning away a heading to his bunk. Chris then turns back to me and grins. I love that, even though he is much larger than her, Peter is still intimidated by her. We talk for a few more minutes before we both go to sleep. I have to talk to T.J. tomorrow and figure out what to do about dealing with Peter. I refuse to live my life in fear of Peter Hayes.


	26. Strength

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Thanks for all the comments. I am so glad that you guys are enjoying reading my story. I know that I am having a great time writing it. To those of you who are wondering, all lingering questions about Peter, will be answered in future a chapter (or chapters). If you have any ideas that you would like to see, just let me know, and I will see if I can incorporate any of it into the story. I have done just that a little so far. Thanks to actionseeker for the jealous Tobias idea. I used a bit of your idea and just put a spin on it. Now, on to the next chapter.

Tobias

I wake up later than usual on Sunday morning and decide to skip my workout routine today. My head is killing me and I feel like I'm going to be sick at any moment. I finally drag myself out of bed, take a couple aspirin, and get in the shower. As I stand in the flow of steaming hot water, the events of last night begin flooding in. I was quite drunk, but I am still certain that I saw Tris and Zeke getting quite cozy together on the dance floor. Logically, I should like the idea of my friends dating, but I don't. The very thought of them together makes me feel even worse than I already do.

I stand in the shower until the water runs cold, get dressed in clean clothes, get an ice pack from the freezer, and collapse on the couch. I finally get comfortable, ice pack on my head, when I hear a knock at the door. I ignore the knocking, hoping whoever it is will just go away. Then I hear the sound of a key in the lock and the door opening, I know that it's Tris, and momentarily regret giving her the key. I am too much of a mess to see anyone right now, especially her.

She comes in carrying a cup of coffee, two muffins, a bottle of medicine, and an ice pack. She saw how drunk I was last night and knew how terrible I would feel today.

"So how are you feeling today, T.J.?" She asks.

"I am pretty sure that I look just about as bad as I feel." I say quietly, taking is increasing the pounding in my head.

"You certainly seemed to have enjoyed yourself last night. By the way, you sure disappeared fast. I looked for you and you were just gone."

"I just had enough, I was tired and went home to go to bed. You certainly were having fun."

"I guess, it was fun for a while, but I left shortly after you did."

"Really? I thought that you would have spent more time with with Zeke." I say a bit bitterly. She does not seem to notice the tone of my voice.

"Actually, I did, and that is part of the reason that I wanted to talk to you this morning. There is something that I need to tell you about and I know that you are going to be angry."

"It's ok, Tris. I figured it out." I sigh.

"Figured what out?" She asks.

"That you and Zeke are dating now. It's fine, I'm not sure why you think I would be angry." I say. She only laughs in reply. "Why are you laughing? I saw you two getting awfully cozy on the dance floor. It doesn't take an Erudite to put two and two together."

"I'm sorry, it is just funny, that's all." She says as her laughter subsides. "No, I am not dating Zeke. In fact, I spent about an hour last night helping him plan his first date wit Shauna, they are going out on Wednesday."

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

She proceeds to tell me about all the events of last night after I left. When she gets to the part about Peter, I can feel my face reddening, as the anger builds in me. Then she tells me about Zeke showing up and helping her, the time she spent with him, her conversation with Christina, and how Peter looked at her when he got back to the dorm.

"I am going to kill him." I state, matter-of-factly.

"No, Tobias, you are not going to kill him. Then you would be factionless, and neither of us want that. Here's the deal, I need to be able to stand up to him and any others like him, by myself. I can't always depend on someone else stepping in to save the day. That is where you come in. I need you to train me harder than ever. I know that I am too small to beat him with pure muscle, so I need to have something else to go on. I WILL NOT live in fear of him, or anyone else." She says. In that moment, I am immensely proud of her.

"Ok, then we will train. We will work together, starting at 5 am every day, and we will get a strategy together. You are one of the strongest people I know, mentally, now we will make the physical match that."

And with that, we decide on our training program.

5:00 am - Warm up and running on the treadmill.

5:30 am - Agility drills. Ladder drills, box jumps, jump rope, and sprints drills.

6:00 am - Kickboxing practice with punching bags.

7:00 am - Strength training with weights.

7:30 am - Cardio and cool down.

Then she will train with the other initiates from 8:00 am until 4 pm. It will be grueling, but it is the best plan, to not only ensure that she stays in Dauntless, but also to keep her safe from Peter and anyone like him. She will not be intimidated by anyone, no matter how much bigger they are. She may be small, but what she lacks in size, she makes up for in determination and courage. Her strength is on the inside, now we will make the outside match.

We decide to spend the rest of the day together. I order a pizza to be delivered for lunch and we spend the day relaxing, watching TV and movies, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. It is hard to believe that we have only been back together for about a week. We are quickly getting back to the way things were before I left. I don't know what that means for us in the future, but at this time, we are where we need to be. We are friends, and for now, that is enough.


	27. First Fights

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

The first day of training with Tobias is going very well. He says that I still need more work on my technique before I am ready to face some of my stronger, bigger competitors, like Peter, but he is not too worried since one-to-one fights are not scheduled until Thursday and Friday. Today through Wednesday are for the initiates to work on technique, skill, strength, and stamina. We begin training at 8 am, as usual.

We start with a sparing demonstration. T.J. takes the ring, and I am surprised to see Zeke join him. They begin the fight and, at first, it seems like Zeke has the advantage. He is taller and bigger than Tobias, and I hear murmurs from the other initiates that Zeke is definitely going to win. But I know something that the other initiates don't. I know that Tobias was ranked first in his initiation, and Zeke was ranked third. I have also seen how fast T.J. is. I don't know why he is letting Zeke have the upper hand, but I know that he will turn it around very soon.

A moment later, it is as if a switch has been flipped, and my Tobias becomes Four. It is strange how much he changes when he is the instructor. Everything about him is different. His voice, the way he moves and stands, even his choice of words changes. The transformation fascinates my.

The fight doesn't last much longer after that, he easily takes Zeke down to the mat, making sure that he is not too injured. He pulls Zeke back to his feet, and I see Zeke whisper something to him. Zeke then turns, leaves the ring, and walks by me on his way out of the room. As he passes, he winks and me and mouths "You've got this". We are then told to spend time at the punching bags, practicing punching and kicking.

We have been practicing for about an hour while Four walks around, giving instruction and corrections, as needed. Then, at about 9:30 the door flies open and Eric struts in. He makes his way over to Tobias, who looks annoyed by his presence, and the two have a heated conversation. The conversation ends with Eric looking smug and pleased, as always, and with T.J. looking furious. Eric calls all the initiates to gather up. As soon as we are all close to him, he begins.

"Initiates, there has been a change of plans. I have just informed your instructor that today, we will be having our first round of fights." I hear a couple people murmur at this and I look at Tobias, who still looks angry. Eric continues. "Four here, doesn't agree with this decision, but I have received full support from Max on this decision. Also, I am going to be deciding on the matches. This is not up for debate, so don't even bother trying to change my mind. The matches are as follows."

He then proceeds to write the matches on the board.

Edward Vs Will

Christina Vs Molly

Myra Vs Marlene (Dauntless born pulled over to even out the matches.)

Drew Vs Al

Peter Vs Tris

Peter grins, evilly, while I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Eric then begins to speak again.

"After today's fights, we will be better able to assess your individual strengths and weaknesses, in order to better train you all. Then, on Friday, we will be repeating the same matches to see if you have improved at all. Here are the rules. You will begin to fight on my word. You will not take it easy on your opponent. That means, no pulling punches, no half kicks, no less than full effort. I will know if you are not giving your best and there will be consequences. Also, the fights only end when one of you is unable to continue, or I call the match. You will be fighting in the order that is on the board. You have 30 minutes to warm up, so I suggest you get started... NOW!"

At that we all scatter and return to our punching bags. I can see Tobias walk over to Eric, and thought I can't hear exactly what they are saying, I can hear them both yelling furiously. This lasts for several minutes, all the time I see T.J. getting angrier, but Eric seems to enjoy it. I try to keep practicing, but it is hard to pull my eyes away from the two of them. I know that Tobias can easily take Eric in a fight, but with Eric being a leader, it's not a good idea. Their conversation abruptly ends when I hear Tobias say, "...then I will just have to go to Max myself. No fights until I return." Then he leaves the training room, slamming the door behind him. As soon as he is gone,Eric calls for us to gather.

"Ok, we will begin the first fight now." Eric shouts.

"But I thought that Four said to wait for him to get back." Christina replies. At this, he gets right in her face as he responds.

"Four isn't here, is he? And besides, I am a leader in this faction, he is not. I see that you still haven't gotten that Candor mouth of yours under control, have you? For that, you are up first."

Christina starts to protest, but Eric simply shoves her into the ring. Molly joins her with no hesitation. Molly gets th first shot in, hitting Christina square in the jaw. Christina rebounds quickly and gets a few rapid punches in our Molly's abdomen. Molly then tries to kick Christina in the stomach, but Christina uses her left foot to sweep Molly's foot out from under her, and Molly crashes to the mat. Christina looks up to see if the match is over and Eric signals to continue. Molly starts to stand, and Christina pushes her back down, placing her foot on top of Molly's back. Eric calls the match, Christina is marked as the winner.

"Edward" Eric barks out, "take Molly to the infirmary then come right back for your match."

"Aren't I supposed to fight next?" He asks.

"I will decide that. And I have decided that Peter and Tris are next. Go!" Eric shouts. Edward helps Molly stand up and walks her out of the room.

I see that Peter has already taken his place in the ring and I decide that , in order to look strong, I will step up and do this with all that I have in me. Eric calls for the start of the fight. I quickly step towards him, landing a solid punch to his jaw. He looks shaken for a moment, giving me the opportunity to knee him in the stomach. He recovers from his shock quickly, and before I know it, I feel a punch to my right shoulder. It radiates through my body and I struggle to remain stable. The pain is so great that I know punching is out of the question for now, so I decide to use my feet. I land a solid kick to his legs, but he stance does not waver. He comes back at me, kicking me in the legs, while simultaneously landing a punch on my temple. I fall... hard! I can hear Christina yelling to end the match and I expect to hear Eric call it over, but he says nothing. The last thing I see, before the world goes black, is Peter's foot coming straight at my head.


	28. The Aftermath

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Two chapters in one day... feeling inspired.

Tobias

I storm out of the training room and head straight to Max's office. His secretary let's my right in and I find Max at his desk, digging through a pile of paperwork. He looks surprised to see me, but gestures for me to have a seat.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit?" He asks.

"I am here to talk to you about the sudden and unwanted change to my initiation schedule."

"And, what change are you referring to?"

"I am talking about Eric showing up, interrupting my training session, and ordering my initiates to fight today. I thought that we agreed Max, that when it comes to my initiates, I make all the decisions."

"Four, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about. I don't know anything about any changes to your schedule." Max says, confused.

"Eric just barged in to my training, and said that you approved him changing the training, and moving the first round of fights to today."

"I am telling you the truth ,when I say, that I never talked to Eric about this. You know that I trust your judgment when it comes to training your initiates."

"I should have known that he was lying." I state.

"How about the two of us head down to the training room and have a conversation with our pal Eric?" Max chuckles.

As we walk, we continue our conversation about Eric. Max mentions that he has been thinking about giving him a demotion for a few months. Apparently, Eric has been causing a lot of trouble, not only within the faction, but also with the leaders of the other factions. Max informs me that he was planning on asking I would reconsider taking a place in leadership. I tell him that I am still hesitant about becoming a leader, but that I will think about it and let him know.

We reach the training room and I step inside while Max takes a phone call. As soon as I enter, I know that something is wrong. Edward and Will are in the ring, which means that this should be the first fight. But I see, off to the side, several of the initiates looking sweaty and in pain. Then Molly enters the room and I ask her what is going on. She informs me that Eric decided to go ahead with the fights and that he started with her and Christina. Then I look at the board and see that all the fights, except the one currently in the ring, have been completed. I was only gone for 20 minutes and they are nearly done. I call out for them to stop, and they immediately comply. I see results listed as follows:

Edward Vs Will - Ended before completion, no winner.

Christina Vs Molly - Christina is circled as the winner.

Myra Vs Marlene - Marlene won.

Drew Vs Al - Drew won.

Peter Vs Tris - Peter's name is circled.

I look to see how Tris is doing, but realize that she is not there. I walk over to Christina and ask where she is. Christina is nearly in tears as she tells me that Tris was badly beaten by Peter and was unconscious when she was taken to the infirmary. She doesn't know how she is, because Eric wouldn't allow anyone to go with her. He made Peter drop her off and come right back. I storm over to Eric, determined to make him pay for this little stunt of his.

"What exactly were you thinking, you idiot, you could have killed my initiates. I specifically told you that there were to be no fights until I returned." I spit out in anger.

"And I specifically told you, that this was my decision and Max approved it." He replies.

"So exactly what is it that I supposedly approved?" Max says from behind Eric. In the commotion, neither of us noticed him enter the room. Eric's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak several times, unable to actually form any words. Max continues "Eric, I would like you to come with me. I think we need to have a conversation about your future in Dauntless."

With that, they both turn and leave the room. I look at the initiates and dismiss them, ordering them to head straight to the dorm until lunch. They file out, with Christina lagging behind. She says something to Will, who nods, the walks to me.

"Four?" She says shyly, a tone that I would never expect from her.

"What do you want, Christina?" I ask, a little more harshly than intended.

"Well, I know that you said to go to the dorm, but I was wondering if I could go check on Tris."

"I don't think that is a good idea right now." I say. I see her disappointment and continue. "I will make you a deal. You go to the dorm until lunch, and I will find you after to let you know if you can go then."

"Thanks, Four, I really appreciate it!" She runs off.

As soon as she has left, I rush out of the training room and run to the infirmary. I am greeted by the desk clerk and ask for information on Tris. She sends me to her room and says that a nurse will come talk to me. I find her room and take a deep breath before entering. When I walk in, she looks a bit battered and bruised, but all-in-all, not as bad as I expected.

I pull a chair up next to the bed, sit down, and grab her hand, rubbing small circles on the back with my thumb. I drop her hand quickly and stand when I hear the door open. A nurse enters and asks who I am. I introduce myself and tell her that I am Tris' trainer and that I came to check on her. She explains that, other than some bruises and a mild concussion, she is fine. She tells me that she will be sore for a few days, but she will be fine. She says that she is sleeping from the blow to her head, but that all tests were clear, and she can leave as soon as she wakes up. She places a cup of water and some pain medicine on the small table and leaves the room. I return to my chair next to Tris and take her hand again.

It is about 30 minutes before I see her eyes open. She squints a bit from the bright lights, but once her eyes focus on me, she smiles brightly. I squeeze her hand and she returns the gesture. She tries to sit up and grabs her head in pain. I hand her the medicine and water, which she quickly takes. After a little while, she says that she is ready to go. We sign her out and leave the infirmary.

"We are heading to my apartment." I say and she looks at me a bit confused. "I really think that it is best for you to stay with me for a couple days so I can keep an eye on you."

"Tobias, I am ok." She places a hand on my arm, stopping me.

"Seriously, Tris, I need to make sure that you are ok." She smiles as I say this.

"How about I make a deal with you? I will stay with you tonight, but go back to the dorm tomorrow."

"Ok, it's a deal. But if you are feeling bad, even a little bit, you are staying tomorrow too."

"Deal." She says and seals the deal with a handshake.

We walk the rest of the way to my apartment and just relax until lunch. She falls asleep on my shoulder, and I can't help but think about how beautiful she is when she is sleeping. I, begrudgingly, wake her up in time to head to the dining hall. I have her sit down as soon as we get there and I grab food for both of us. When I get back, I see that Christina, Will, and Al have arrived and are crowded around her. I take a seat next to her and slide her tray over. She smiles, gratefully, then tells the others to get their food. Once they leave she grabs my hand under the table and whispers "Thanks, T.J."

Once most people have arrived and are seated, I see Max step onto the stage and grab the microphone. He calls for everyone to pay attention, and after a few moments, the room becomes quiet.

"I have an announcement to make, then you can all get back to your meals. In light of recent events, I have decided that it is in the best interest of the faction, to make some changes. As of today, Eric will no longer be a member of leadership, instead he will be taking a position guarding the fence. This goes to show you all, that just because you have a certain position in the faction, does not mean that you will stay there. You can work to improve your status, but you can also lose your status. I have also made another decision. Four, could you please step up here?" I make my way up to the stage and step up, confused as to what he wants from me. He agreed to give me time to consider the leadership position.

"I have decided," He continues, "that any and all decisions related to initiation will now be Four's decision. Four, do you accept this responsibility?"

"Gladly." I reply.

"Thank you for your attention, everyone, you may return to your meals."

The crowd cheers, as Max pats me on the back and we step off of the stage. I return to my seat and finish my meal while people, many of which I have never met, congratulate me. I tell the initiates that they are released from training today but that we will be working late tomorrow. I am excited about changing the trainingand initiation process, but now I need to figure out where to start. I spend the rest of the day putting together ideas and taking notes. I am grateful that Max trusted me with this job, and I will prove that he made the right decision.


	29. Pushing Through The Pain

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Trying to push through a case of writers block. The ideas are there, but the words just seem out of reach. I am assuming that you are all familiar with the capture the flag scenes, I didn't want to make any changes to it, so I decided to skip those with a small time lapse. I know that you can fill in the blanks.

Tris

I wake up to the sound of an unfamiliar alarm clock, and it takes me a few moments to remember that I am at Tobias' apartment. I hear the faint sound of movement just outside of the bedroom and I know that he is also awake. He insisted that I sleep in his bed last night, even though I would have been fine on the couch. Although, I am not sure if he actually went to sleep at all. He spent most of the evening working on a plan for changing initiation and training, and was still working when I went to bed at midnight.

I look at my watch and see that it is already 5:00 am, we should already be in the training room. I drag myself out of bed, despite the pain, get dressed, and head to see what T.J. is doing. When I get to the kitchen, I see him standing at the stove, cooking breakfast. I smell the delicious aroma of bacon.

"Good morning." I say with a slightly strained voice. I am really sore, but don't want to make a big deal about it. He seems to notice anyway.

"Hey you. You look like you are really hurting, you should probably sit down." He says with a concerned look.

"I'm ok, really." I reply, but I can tell that he doesn't believe me.

"You certainly didn't have an aptitude for Candor, did you?"

"Shut up!" I laugh. "Anyway, you let me sleep in too late, we were supposed to start training at 5."

"We are not training this morning, and I think that you should sit out of regular training today too."

"No!" I snap.

"Come on, Tris, be reasonable. You were badly hurt yesterday and your body needs a chance to heal."

"You be reasonable, Four" I say, knowing how much he hates it when I call him that when we are alone. "I have my final fight on Friday, today is Tuesday, I need all the practice that I can get. You know how important it is that I do this. I have to prove to everyone that I am not just a little girl from Abnegation, I am Dauntless now, and I will not be afraid of anyone. You promised me that you would help me with this, and you have never broken a promise to me yet. So either you are going to help me or..." He silences my rampage with a finger to my lips.

"Ok, I give! But you need to promise me that you won't push yourself too far." He says.

"And you need to promise me that you will let me determine what is too far." I retort.

"Ok. It's a deal. Now, please sit down and have some breakfast, then we will go get started."

I smile as I sit at the table, watching him finish plating our meal. I have known that he is a good cook, but haven't had anything that he made in far too long. He brings me a plate, piled high with pancakes, bacon, eggs, and strawberries. I can hardly restrain myself to wait for him to sit down before digging in. As expected, it tastes even better than it looks.

We finish eating and head straight to the training room. It is nearly 6 am when we get there so I decide to shorten some of my schedule. I get through the routine just in time for the other initiates to arrive. From what they can tell, I have just gotten there and have started my warm up. They have no idea that I have already been working for two hours. The day proceeds as usual, there is no sparing today, so Tobias spends the entire day demonstrating a move, then watching up as we work on it. He teaches us a number of different types of kicks and punches, as well as multiple defense techniques.

I feel like I am doing pretty well with all the moves, but I can tell that there is another initiate that is doing much better than everyone else. Edward seems to pick up everything almost instantly. I know that the others notice too, especially Peter, who looks like he is trying to shoot daggers from his eyes.

We finish training and I see T.J. make a motion to wait to talk to him before I leave. I tell Christina that I will catch up with her, and I go to talk to him. He tells me that I should take a nap after dinner, but to be ready to leave the dorm at 11:00 pm sharp. He won't tell me why, but he tells me that it will be a great night. He says not to mention it to the other initiates, but says that I can tell Christina if I want. I think that he wants to make sure that I am not alone and vulnerable while I am asleep.

Christina and I both do as he suggested and go to sleep right after dinner, setting a quiet alarm for 10:45 pm. We get up and slip into the bathroom to freshen up, before getting back into our beds, to make it seem like we were still asleep. I watch the time, and sure enough at 11 pm on the dot, I hear the door open. I can tell that several people slipped into the room, though they are being careful not to wake everyone up. Then suddenly the lights are switched on and Tobias is shouting through a bullhorn for everyone to wake up. I jump at the sound, even though I was already awake, and see that Christina does too.

T.J. announces that we are all expected to be up and at the train tracks in five minutes.

"Be there, or be Factionless." He says, nonchalantly.

The other initiates scramble to get up and ready, while Christina and I just grab our jackets and head out the door. We are, not surprisingly, the first initiates to arrive at the tracks. I ask Tobias to tell me what is happening, but he refuses, saying that we will all know soon enough. Not long after we arrive, the other initiates begin showing up, including the Dauntless born initiates. I recognize a few of them, like Zeke's brother Uriah, and Marlene, the girl that fought Myra yesterday. Zeke is there too and comes over to me, giving me a crushing hug, which elicits stares from a few.

The train arrives soon after that and we all have jump into the same car. Tobias explains that we are going to be playing capture the flag. He explains the rules and he and Zeke divide up the teams, each team consisting of both transfers and Dauntless born. I am excited to be on the same team as T.J., Christina, Will, Uriah, and Marlene. We jump off the train and the game begins.

About an hour and a half later...

We jump back on the train, my team celebrating out victory. I convince Tobias that I am feeling well enough to stay in the dorm tonight, and head to bed quickly, changing into my dark grey pajamas. Christina has teased me that they are almost too close to looking like Abnegation, but I really don't care, they were the most comfortable ones in the entire store. I wish all my clothes felt like this. I fall asleep quickly, still happy from our win.

I wake up, started, to the sound of screaming...


	30. An Attack

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tobias

After we get back from playing capture the flag, I head straight to bed, but I have problems falling asleep. I have so many ideas for initiation that I can't seem to turn my thoughts off. I finally fall asleep at about 2 am, but am awoken soon after by someone pounding on my door. I check the clock and see that it is 3:46 am. Who could be here at this time of the morning?

I stumble out of bed, calling out to whoever is incessantly pounding on the door. They stop knocking just as I reach for the knob. I look through the peep hole in the door and, though I can only see the top of her head, I can tell that it is Tris. I open the door and am startled by her appearance. Her hair is a mess and she is still in her pajamas, but worst of all, she is covered in blood. There is dried blood on her clothes, her hands, her face, even in her hair. I grab her by the hand and lead her through the door into the apartment. She doesn't say a word as I guide her to the couch. She seems to be in shock, but doesn't look like she is injured, so I sit in silence until she is ready to talk.

After about 15 minutes of sitting, her sobbing and me just rubbing my hand up and down her arm, she finally looks at me.

"Tris, what is wrong?" I ask sincerely.

"Edward... he... dorm... blood... horrible..." She stutters through her sobs.

"What about Edward? What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"No. Not... me... him."

"Edward was hurt?"

"Yes."

"What happened? Who hurt him? Is he ok?" I ask quickly. She puts up a finger, regaining her composure, then takes a deep breath before answering.

"I was asleep when all of the sudden I heard someone scream. At first, I thought that it was just another initiation surprise, like you guys showing up last night for capture the flag. But I quickly realized that it was not. Someone turned on the lights and then I saw him. Edward was on the floor, his head in a pool of blood, with a butter knife sticking out of his eye." She says before dissolving into another round of sobs.

"Someone stabbed him in the eye? Did anyone else see who it was?" I ask. She simply shakes her head. "Well, what happened after that?"

"He was trying to get someone to pull it out, but I know that would have been worse, so I said that we needed to wait for the medics. Then I sat with him, held his hand, and talked to him until they arrived. Once they got there with the cart to take him to the infirmary, he begged me to go with, so I did. I held his hand the whole way there, and had to pry my hand from his grip for the doctors to be able to work on him. Tobias, it was the worst thing that I have ever seen! There was blood everywhere. I stayed in the waiting room with Myra until they came to give an update on his prognosis. They are dating, you know. Anyway, the doctor eventually came out to update us, and said that Edward will live. But... he will never be able to see out of his right eye again. I know that I didn't see it happen, but you know as well as I do, that Peter is responsible for this. He has hated Edward for being better than him since the first day here."

"You know that I believe you, but is there any proof?" I ask.

"No." She says, solemnly.

"Then, unless we can find some proof, there is nothing that we can do about it. We need proof to take any action against him."

"But, Tobias, you know that it was him!"

"I agree, but without proof, it is just speculation. The leaders will never do anything without proof, and sometimes, not even then." I sigh.

"Then it won't stop. He will just continue to attack anyone who he thinks might stand in his way."

"We will have to be extra careful to make sure that doesn't happen."

"If we can..." She trails off, her exhaustion overcoming her.

"Come on Trissy, let's get you cleaned up." I say, helping her to her feet.

"But I don't have any clothes to change into, and I fully intend to burn these. I don't think that I could ever stand to wear them again."

"I will find you something, just go get in the shower and I will leave them just inside the door. Put your clothes out and I will get rid of them for you."

She goes into the bathroom and a moment later I hear the door open and her pajamas drop to the floor. I gather the smallest clothes I can find, though I know that they will still be big on her, and place them just inside the bathroom. I then take her pajamas, walk down the hall to the trash incinerator, and throw them inside. I head back and sit on the bed while I wait for her to finish. After a few minutes she emerges dressed in my black sweatpants and t-shirt which, although too big, look cute on her.

I look at the clock and realize that it is almost 5 am. I am not sure if it is a good idea for Tris and I to follow our training schedule today. She is emotionally and physically drained after last night and that may not be good for her to train.

"I think that you should lay down and rest for a little while. I can wake you up in time to go to breakfast before training at 8."

"Nope. It is nearly 5... I am going to grab a muffin and start my routine." She says.

"Tris, you hardly got any sleep last night, I think you should rest."

"No Tobias, I know that you are just trying to take care of me, but I NEED to go train right now. I need to get my mind off of things. Please?" She pleads.

"Ok. We will go and yes, I am trying to take care of you, and that is not going to stop any time soon." She gives me a quick hug before we head out for the training room.

The rest of the day goes by normally, but I can tell that tension is high. Tris seems to be in overdrive during training, as the stress seems to push her to train even harder. Everyone, but Peter, seems to be shaken by the incident but no one is talking about it. Myra decided to skip training all together, and I don't blame her one bit. At lunch time I go to visit Edward with Tris, Christina, Will, and Al. Edward is awake when we get there and he informs me that he and Myra have decided to leave Dauntless and live as Factionless. I am not sure that I agree with this decision, but it is not my place to judge the choices that they make. They will be leaving as soon as the doctors release Edward from the infirmary.

It's Wednesday, and there is one more day of training before the final sparing matches, before the first rankings are posted. The initiates will need to work harder than ever if they want to win the final fights and rank well. The two of them leaving will spare others from getting cut for a little while, but they still need to work hard to make it past the final cut.


	31. Final Fights

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I have several chapters written ahead and will try to post while I am on vacation. Also, I know that some of you are itching for the Fourtris ship to sail... there is a lot of story to go. I hope you will enjoy the twists and turns that I have in store.

Tris

Today is the final day of fight training and will end with the final fights. Eric had planned to have the original matches from Monday fight again, but with his demotion, it's now Tobias that will decide. I argued with him for nearly an hour, trying to convince him to match me with Peter again. I understand that, after losing so badly just a few days ago, he is afraid for my safety. But I was able to persuade him to let me prove that I am not afraid of anyone. The matches are posted on the board and Christina looks shocked. The fights are as follows :

Will Vs Drew

Christina Vs Jess (Dauntless born)

Molly Vs Al

Peter Vs Tris

"How can he do that to you? I know that Eric was cruel enough to put you up against Peter, but I figured with Four in charge, things would be different. This doesn't make any sense." Christina says.

"It's alright, Chris, this was my decision." I reply.

"What do you mean, this was your decision?"

"I mean exactly that. I convinced Four to match me with Peter again. I am going to prove that I can hold my own against anyone. I am not afraid anymore, and I intend to prove it."

"I hope you know what you have gotten yourself into."

"I do. Don't worry about me, I can promise you that I WILL be the winner this time." I say, confidently. She nods, though I can tell that she still has doubts.

We warm up for about an hour before the matches start. The Dauntless born initiates also come over to our training room,as we are watching each other's final fights. The Dauntless born initiates are first. I only pay attention to a couple of their matches, since I don't even know most of them.

Zeke's brother Uriah is up against a guy named Lukas. I am a bit concerned when Lukas gets in the first few hits, but then Uriah seems to flip a switch, and begins to dominate the fight. He is moving faster than even seems possible, landing punches, blocking, and kicking. The faster he moves, the more relaxed he seems. He actually seems to be having fun. Tobias ends the fight after Uriah lands a solid kick to Lukas' side, knocking him off his feet, and Uriah pins him to the floor with his foot.

Marlene and Sarah are up next, and I can tell from the first moment that this is going to be a quick fight. Marlene has landed countless punches and kicks, and Sarah has yet to hit her once. The fight ends with Sarah bloody, bruised, with a broken nose, and Marlene without a scratch.

Lynn and Meg fight last for the Dauntless born initiates, and this fight is by far the longest. They are very evenly matched. Both have received a fair number of hits, but also seem adept at defense. Just as it seems that the fight will never end, Meg makes a crucial error, and let's her right hand drop too far. This allows Lynn to land a solid punch to her eye, sending her off balance and knocking her unconscious.

Will faces off with Drew as the first match for our group. I hope that Will is able to take Drew out, as one of Peter's little minions, he needs to be taken down a peg. Drew surges into the ring, taking Will by surprise, and manages to knock his feet out from under him. Will quickly recovers, rounding on Drew and landing a roundhouse kick to his side, which knocks the wind out of him. After a few more minutes of the two of them exchanging blows, Will kicks Drew hard in the abdomen, sending him flying out of the ring, and Tobias calls it over.

Christina is fighting Jess, and as expected, she wins with ease. Jess is a good fighter, but she is too predictable. Her fighting technique is very regimented, so much so, that you can anticipate her next move most of the time. Chris easily keeps up with her moves, winning without getting a single blow hard enough to leave a mark.

Molly and Al are up next and this match is rather one sided for a while. It appears that Al is barely even trying to fight. Molly is landing punch after punch, but Al seems unfazed by the impact. This continues until Molly starts taunting him, then he finally decides to fight back. Four punches later the fight is over, and Molly, is unconscious. Al looks devastated that he actually knocked her out as he carefully scoops her into his arms and carries her to the infirmary.

Now it is my turn to take on Peter and I am anxiously excited to do this. I know what to do and I am fully prepared to win, but I am still nervous about our size difference. He not only towers over me, but is nearly twice my weight. However, I am faster, better prepared, and more determined. I take the advice from Tobias and start strong with a solid punch to his throat. This seems to rattle him, but only for a moment before he returns with a kick to my side. We continue exchanging blows, neither of us really ever having the advantage.

This has already been the longest lasting fight so far and the end is nowhere in sight, that is until I spot his biggest weakness. Right before he throws a punch, he takes a step forward and drops his left hand, leaving his face exposed. He goes in for a punch, which I easily deflect, and I land a punch to his left eye. While he is still recovering from it, I manage to sweep his feet, sending him to the mat. He is back on his feet quickly and attempts a roundhouse kick, which I sidestep. I throw a fake punch, and when he is blocking it, I kick him in the lower abdomen. He doubles over slightly, giving me the opportunity to knee him in the stomach, knocking back down.

Again he is quick to stand, and this time he manages to land a solid punch to my right cheek, making me see stars. I shake my head to clear my vision in time to stop another punch. I duck as he wildly punches and swing around, behind him, punching him in the kidney. I then sweep his legs again and he lands face down on the mat. I place my foot on his shoulder and say "Stay down!" He obliges and Tobias calls the fight over. I have won! I hear cheers from my friends and I take a moment to celebrate.

T.J. releases us for lunch and I am pleased to see that the only available seat at my normal table is right next to him. I sit next to him and can't help but smile when I feel him lightly squeeze my knee under the table. He can't congratulate me in public but he is letting me know through that little gesture. After lunch we have 2 hours until we have to be back in the training room for the announcement of the rankings. So, of course, Christina decides that we need to go shopping.

I decide to sit down on the bench and wait for her while she is shopping at the lingerie store. As I am sitting there just watching people pass by, I hear my name called out, and see Uriah excitedly rushing towards me dragging Marlene behind him.

"Hey Tris. Congratulations on winning your match against Peter. It was amazing." He says.

"Yeah, it was really great to see him put in his place like that." Marlene agrees.

"Thanks. I did my best." I say shyly, uncomfortable with the attention.

"So I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join us for a little outing tonight. It will be so much fun. It is a tradition for all Dauntless born initiates but I talked the others into letting you join us, so you have to say yes. Please, please, please?" He says, so fast that I can barely understand him.

"What exactly is the outing?" I ask.

"Well if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He retorts.

"Ok." I reply.

"Just remember, don't tell anyone about this. It is a Dauntless born secret." Marlene adds. I nod.

"Meet us at the train tracks at 9 pm tonight." Then they take off running.

After we finish shopping, we drop the bags off at the dorm and head back to the training room to wait for our rankings. Tobias, Zeke, and a few others are standing there waiting for us to arrive. Once everyone is there and seated, he turns on the monitors that display the ranks for both initiate groups. He turns on the Dauntless born list first and I see Uriah cheer as he sees his name in the number one spot, with Lynn in 4 and Marlene in 5. I don't make note of any of the other Dauntless born initiates ranks, since I don't know them. Then our board is turned on...

1\. Will

2\. Peter

3\. Christina

4\. Tris

5\. Al

6\. Drew

7\. Molly

I am 4th right in the middle of the pack. Not a bad place to be considering how poorly I started this week of fights. I have room for improvement, but at this time I am not fearing being cut. Tobias explains that next week will be for stages 2 and 3, with 3 being on Friday morning, then the final rankings will be posted and final cuts will be made. We are dismissed for the weekend and Chris and I head to the dorm, both ready for a nap before dinner.


	32. Adrenaline

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Almost at 100 follows!㈴2 I am pleasantly surprised that people are enjoying my little story. I know that I am having fun writing it. Let's see if you can spot the lines taken directly from the book.

Tris

My worries about finding an excuse to go out without Christina proved to be unfounded, as it seems, she has other plans tonight. She is going to have dinner and see a movie with Will. I can tell that there is something going on between them, though neither of them has admitted that yet. She spends a long time getting ready and, from the look on Will's face, I can tell that it was worth every minute. He looks stunned. They head out and I get changed and head to the dining hall for dinner. I decided that, since I have no idea what we are doing tonight, I better dress comfortably.

At dinner I sit with the regular group, like always, minus Will and Christina. I am between Al and T.J. and across from Uriah. Uriah gives me a subtle wink then looks at Tobias and mouths something to him, to which he shakes his head. I don't understand what Uriah said to him, but whatever it is, I can tell that he is not interested.

"So, I hear that you are joining the Dauntless born initiates for a little outing tonight?" Tobias whispers, loud enough for only me to hear.

"I guess." I reply.

"You sure seem excited." He say, sarcastically.

"I might be if I had a clue what they are planning to do."

"You will love it."

"You know what we are doing?" I ask, and he nods. "So, what is it?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

"Come with me!"

"Not a chance, Tris."

"Please?" I plead.

"Zeke has tried to get me to go a dozen times, and has failed a dozen times. He asked me earlier. I refused him, and I am refusing you too."

"Will Zeke be there?" I ask, hopefully.

"He sure will."

"Ok, then. I guess I don't need you after all." I joke.

"I see how it is. Only need me until there is someone else." He teases.

"You caught me."

"But seriously, Tris, I know that you are going to have a great time."

"Alright, alright, I am going. But I still wish I knew what was planned." I say, exasperated.

After dinner, I wander around the compound for a while, until it is time to meet at the train tracks. Once I get there, I see Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and a bunch of other Dauntless born initiates and a few members there. Then I feel a pair of arms wrap around me, lifting me off my feet, spinning me around. I immediately know who it is.

"Ezekiel Daniel Pedrad, put me down." I demand. He obeys and I spin around to face him.

"What's the matter T? Did I scare the princess?" He asks with a mock pout.

I simply roll my eyes and start to turn to walk the rest of the way to the tracks. He charges towards me, throwing me over his shoulder, and runs to the tracks. I can't help but laugh hysterically as I am bouncing while he runs. Just as he sets me down, I feel another set of arms lift me up. Uriah has scooped me up with an arm behind my back and the other under my knees. I grab him around the neck as he starts spinning in circles.

"Put her down before you make her throw up, Uri." Zeke says.

"I won't make her throw up. And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?" Uriah responds as he sets me down. I make a mental note to start calling him Uri now. Zeke slings his arm over my shoulder and leads me over to where Shauna is standing.

"Shauna, have you met Tris?"

"I don't think that we have officially met, but I have heard a lot about you. It's nice to meet you, Tris." She says, extending her hand. I shake her hand, still getting used to the gesture, since it was not done in Abnegation.

"You have heard a lot about me?" I ask, confused.

"I sure have. This guy has told me a lot, plus Four has mentioned you. I also heard about your final fight, everyone is saying that the others better watch out if they hope to outrank you."

I am still too stunned to respond when we hear the train coming down the tracks and prepare to jump on. Once I am on, I sit down between Uriah and Zeke. I ask for information on what we are doing, but they still refuse to tell me. I get off with the rest of the group and we make our way to the Hancock building. We take the elevator to the top floor, then climb a set of stairs to the roof. Once I step onto the roof, I see a large metal contraption with a thick wire cable attached. The cable leads off the side of the building and stretcher father than I can see. I cautiously step to the edge of the building and peer over. It is as if I can feel every inch of the 1,127 feet from here to the ground. It is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I step back and head over to Zeke to see what we are about to do.

Zip Lining. I have never heard of it before but he explained that we would be attached with a harness to the cable and would be riding it to the other end... a mile and a half away. I watch most of the group go before me, Uriah is the last too go before me, then Zeke will go last. Uriah jumps into the harness without a second thought and yells excitedly the entire way down.

I step up and feel a moment of sheer terror as Zeke straps me into the harness and sends me off on my ride. I throw my arms out to the side and imagine I am flying. My heart beats so hard it hurts, and I can't scream and I can't breathe, but I also feel everything, every vein and every fiber, every bone and every nerve, all awake and buzzing in my body as if charged with electricity. I am pure adrenaline! I reach the end and feel the brakes stop me just at the right time. Now I wonder how I am supposed to get down.

I hear people calling out below me. A crowd of members stand below. They grasp one another's arms forming a net of limbs beneath me. In order to get down, I have to trust them to catch me. I have to accept these people are mine, and I am theirs. It is a braver act than sliding down the zip line. I release myself from the harness and fall into their waiting arms. We are all here together making memories, forging friendships, becoming a different kind of family. We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one.

I am lowered to the ground and watch as Zeke comes soaring towards us. He is released into the net of arms, with mine included this time. After he is standing again, he picks me up in a crushing hug and spins me around, then Uriah does the same. I get a few other pats on the back and congratulations from the group, who all seem to be on an adrenaline high like I am. We head back to the faction and I separate from the group to go to my dorm.

Christina and Will are already back and Chris is a bit angry with me for leaving her out of the plans tonight. But she quickly gets over it when we start talking about her date with Will, who is far enough away to not hear us. She tells me that Will kissed her for the first time tonight and she is gushing. We talk until late at night before exhaustion finally overtakes me. I have been here for almost two weeks and it simultaneously feels like I just dropped into the net and like I have always been here.


	33. Stage Two

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Again, taking dialog directly from the book and movie. I like some lines so much, I see no reason to change them. :) For those of you anxiously awaiting some Fourtris action... you will have to wait a little while longer.

Tris

Today is the start of stage 2 of initiation, and to add even more stress, I have had people constantly bothering me for information on the articles published by Erudite. They have always put out articles bashing Abnegation, but in the last few days, there has been an onslaught. Articles about abuse of children in the faction, though I know that there was one case of that being true, Tobias. But they used me as an example of an abused Abnegation child and indicated that this was the reason Caleb and I both transfered, using Molly of all people as a source. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My father was not the most affectionate person, typical in the faction, but he never laid a hand on us in anger. Not once in my life did he even spank me.

There have been other reports too that are, to my knowledge, totally unfounded. They have stated that Abnegation is hoarding food and luxury items from the other factions and not actually providing as much to the factionless as they claim. There was even a reporter bugging Christina for information on me and my family. She not so gently told them to bug off!

Over the next three days we will all be going through a series of simulations, and will be ranked based on our ability to control our heart rate and breathing to end the simulation. This stage is all about facing your fears and controlling your emotions. The better you are at that, the faster you will get out, the higher you will rank. Sounds easy in theory, but it is terrifying. There are six simulation rooms being used simultaneously, so Lauren, Zeke, Tori, and a few others have joined Tobias to administer the simulations, since we are now combined with the Dauntless born initiates. Even though we are going through the simulations together, the rankings are still separate until stage three.

T.J. takes me into one of the simulation rooms to start my first simulation. He guides me to sit in a metal chair in the middle of the room, attach electrodes to my head, and explains how I will work. After he is done preparing me, he sweeps the hair away from the side of my neck, brushing his hand along my cheek gently. He gives me a reassuring smile as he injects the serum into my neck. A few moments later, the simulation begins.

I am standing in a field, it's not anything like the lush green fields of Amity, it is covered by dry, dead grass. Nothing seems unusual, until a large black crow flies in and attacks. I begin flailing wildly as the bird sinks it's talons into my flesh and pecks at my face. Then they are everywhere! Crows, too many to count, fly at me from every direction. I swat them away as quickly as possible, but it is impossible to fight them off, there are just too many. Then I remember what Tobias told me, I don't have to beat the simulation, I only have to learn how to control my emotions. I close my eyes and slow my breathing, counting each breath, willing my heart rate to slow. When I open my eyes, I see a small puddle in front of me. I lower myself into the water and begin to swim away. I tell myself "This isn't real."

I awaken, back in the metal chair that I never really left, still terrified but done. I wish that I could fall into T.J.'s arms for comfort, but there are to many others around. He walks me out the back exit of the room, where I break down in tears. He leads me to an isolated hallway, where we will have privacy.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He asks sweetly, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

"I just didn't know that this would be so hard. I am so afraid of fail." I reply, sobbing.

"Why do you think that you are going to fail?"

"That, back there, that was horrible. I failed miserably." I say and he looks confused.

"Tris, honey, you didn't fail in there."

"Don't patronize me Tobias. We both know how badly I did."

"How long do you think you were in there?" He asks.

"About 20 minutes." I reply.

"Three minutes, Tris... you were only in there for three minutes. That is four times faster than the average. I've never seen anyone do that well their first time. How did you get rid of the birds? The image wasn't clear."

"Um...I just went into the water."

"Well, next time it will be a lot easier." He says nonchalantly.

"I have to do that again?" I whine.

"Yeah, you have to practice several times before the final. But you're a natural, you got nothing to worry about." He replies while stroking my face. "Are you ok to head back to the dorm, or do you want to stay with me tonight?"

"I'm ok. I think it would look too suspicious if I didn't stay there too many times. He gives me a tight hug and kiss on the top of the head and we both walk away.

Over the next days I go through several simulations all with fast results. My second simulation was that I was trapped in a glass box that was filling with water. Again, I realized that it was not real, it was just a simulation. I simply tapped on the glass a few times and it shattered, ending the simulation. The others involve Peter setting me on fire, drowning in an ocean, my family bleeding to death, and being forced to shoot my family. Tobias realized that I am manipulating the simulations right away and coached me to respond to the situations like a Dauntless would.

My times are consistently better than average, which doesn't go unnoticed by the other initiates. In fact, Peter implies that I have a trick for getting out of them quickly. I try to tell them that I don't have any tricks, but I am not sure if they believe me. Al even asks if he is right. It Hurst that he, one of my closest friends, doesn't believe me. I am not cheating my way through this, I am working harder than I thought possible to do well.

We finished stage two today, Wednesday, and have tomorrow off before the final stage happens on Friday. Tobias tells us to meet in the training room for stage two rankings at 7pm. At dinner, we talk about some of our fears, though Al remains oddly silent through the entire meal. Christina pipes up with one of her fears and Will seems surprised by it.

"I was completely surrounded by moths." She says.

"Moths," repeats Will. "You're afraid of moths?"

"Not just a cloud of moths," she says, "like...a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and..." She shudders and shakes her head.

"Terrifying," Will says with mock seriousness. "That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls." He slings his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in tightly.

"Oh, Shut up." She replies, resting her head on his shoulder. He turns her slightly and gives her a gentle peck on the lips.

We return to the training room and wait for the ranks to be posted on the board.

Dauntless born :

1\. Lynn

2\. Uriah

3\. Lukas

4\. Marlene

5\. Sarah

6\. Meg

7\. Mat

8\. Mike

9\. Rob

10\. Nikki

11\. April

I am thrilled to see that my friends are doing well in their group. Though I have not spent as much time with them as I have with Christina, Will, and Al, I know that I would be devastated if they got cut. Now I just need to see that the four of us are safe in the transfer group.

1\. Tris

2\. Peter

3\. Will

4\. Christina

5\. Drew

6\. Molly

7\. Al

I am beyond thrilled when I see that I am ranked number one but my heart sinks and I feel sick to my stomach when I see Al's name in last place. He is not going to be eliminated today, but if he doesn't improve immensely in stage 3, he may become factionless. I can't stand the thought of losing one of my closest friends. I decide to take him aside later and try to help him.

I am lost in thought until I am snapped out of my daze by Peter getting in my face, accusing me of manipulating the other initiates, my friends included. I don't know how he thinks I am manipulating them, I am not sure he even has an idea about that. I have done nothing wrong, T.J. isn't even the one to decide the rankings for stages 2 and 3, it is all done by computer.

Peter is busy in a tirade about me when Will steps in to defend me. Peter finally leaves, but once he does, something shocking happens. Will asks me if Peter was right. I try to give them an answer, without giving away my Divergence, but seem to fail to convince them. Will and Christina storm out of the room leaving me alone with Al, who just looks stunned. I try to talk to him, but he simply turns to leave. I feel angry tears burning a path down my face before I wipe them away.

I walk out of the room and run directly into Uriah. He sees the look on my face and asks what happened. I explain and he hugs me. I laugh when I realize just how similar he and Zeke really are. I am lucky to be able to call the Pedrad brothers my friends. Even if I lose my other friends over all this, at least I will still have Tobias, Zeke, and Uriah.

Uriah invites me to hang out with him and a few others tonight and I gladly accept. Apparently he is planning to use a pellet gun to shoot a muffin off Marlene's head on a bet. This ought to be interesting to say the least. Uriah grabs my hand and we walk off, swinging our clasped hands like little kids. We have a great time until we are caught in the training room and told to leave.

I fall asleep easily, but awaken at about midnight needing a drink of water. I head to the fountain that is down the hall closer to the chasm, since the water in the bathroom is disgusting. I have just started getting a drink when I feel a set of arms grab me roughly...


	34. A Second Attack

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

Previously...

I fall asleep easily, but awaken at about midnight needing a drink of water. I head to the fountain that is down the hall closer to the chasm, since the water in the bathroom is disgusting. I have just started getting a drink when I feel a pair of arms grab me roughly, lifting me off my feet. Someone else puts a gag in my mouth and ties it tightly, while a third person grabs my legs. I throw my body sideways as hard as I can and manage to pull free from their arms, landing hard on the cement floor. I see my assailants, three large men in standing over me in masks.

"Grab her!" One growls. They lift me from the floor, one holding my legs, and the other two each holding me under my arm. They are carrying me down the hall unmistakably towards the chasm, and try as I may, I can't break free. I turn towards the assailant on my left, trying to head but him, when I smell something familiar. The smell of sage and lemongrass fills my nose, bile rising in my throat, as I realize who belongs to that scent.

I continue throwing my body back and forth, slowing their progress, as they struggle to keep a hold of me. I throw my head towards the attacker on my right, making contact with his nose, hearing the tell-tale crunch of it breaking. I hear him yell our in pain and recognize his voice, Drew. He breaks his grip long enough for me to free my hand and grab the mask from the man on my left. My fear is confirmed as I see Al looking back at me. I am stunned for a moment and stop thrashing for just a moment before he grabs me again.

I hear the rush of water growing louder as we near the chasm. I begin moving harder as I realize that they are going to throw me over. I manage to throw my body hard to the right again, causing them to drop me again. My shoulder slams on the ground, causing my to cry out in pain.

"Come on! Get her over!" A voice I recognize as Peter shouts as they pull me back up and push me against the railing.

"But, you just said that we were going to..." Al calls out.

"Shut up!" Peter interrupts.

"Wait, don't do this!" Al hollers. Then, as I feel the other two continue pushing me to the railing, I also feel Al pulling me away. Then I hear him yell out as Drew throws him against the wall behind us. I peer in his direction and see him slumped on the floor, unconscious.

I am running out of energy, but keep fighting and screaming as they continue pressing me forward, attempting to get me over the rail. I have my feet locked between the railing, making one last stand to try and save my life. I have to make a plan, if I have any hope of survival. Then, it is as if my mind shuts off and instinct takes over, and I spring into action.

Peter is on my right and Drew is on my left. I know each of their fighting styles, their strengths and weaknesses. I can beat either of them in a fight. But can I beat them both? I decide to try and take Drew out first. I thrash my body violently to my right, knocking Peter to the ground, freeing myself from his grip. I turn on Drew and punch him in his, already broken nose, causing him to release me. I land on my feet and quickly land a few more punches to his face. I turn to have my back to the wall, distancing myself from the chasm railing. Drew throws a punch, which I sidestep, causing him to punch the stone wall behind me. I then sweep his legs from beneath him, causing him to fall. He hits his head on the cement floor and loses consciousness. The fight could not have lasted more than 30 seconds, but felt like it lasted an hour.

I am already exhausted, but there is no time to rest. Peter is on his feet and coming at me with a look of hate in his eyes. But behind the hatred I see something else, something surprising... fear. He knows that I can beat him, and he is afraid of me. No one has ever been afraid of me before. I have never been anything more than a little girl from Abnegation before, but now that has changed. I am powerful, I am strong, I am fierce, and I am not afraid.

Peter comes at me quickly and manages to land a punch to my jaw, but I am quick to recover, and I retaliate with a jab to his left eye. He tries to kick me in the ribs and I deflect the blow, instead grabbing his leg and twisting it, knocking him off his feet. The rest of the fight is a bit of a blur, it's as if my body is on autopilot and knows what to do all on it's own. I am nearly in a trance like state, when a familiar voice brings me back to the moment. I look in front of me and see that I have Peter pinned to the floor, his unmasked pressed to the ground, his arms held back, and my knee on his shoulder.

I hear my name called again and turn to see Tobias running down the hall towards me. I release Peter from my grip and he promptly gets to his feet and runs away. It is as if the weight of what just happened comes crashing down on me all at once and I slump to the ground, exhausted, both mentally and physically. Tobias helps me to my feet and I fall into his arms and begin sobbing against his shoulder.

"Are you ok?" He asks and I nod. "Come on, Tris, let's go to my apartment. I will take care of them in a minute." He says, nodding in the direction where Al and Drew still lie, unconscious. We walk the short distance to his apartment and go inside. He settles me on the couch, kisses my forehead, then excuses himself and walks out the door.

Tobias

I am up late working on the changes to initiation protocol when I remember that I left some of my notes in the training room. I pick up the papers and head back home. I get to my hallway and am about to turn when I hear a commotion near by. I am trying to figure out whether or not to check out what is happening, when I hear a scream and a loud commotion. I take off running in the direction of the sounds and see something unexpected right by the chasm.

I see Tris fighting with Peter, and before I can intervene, she kicks his squarely in the gut, knocking him to the ground. I call out to her, but she barely seems to hear me. Before I reach them I see that she has Peter's hands behind his back, and is pinning him by the shoulders, keeping him on the floor. I call out to her again and this time she looks up. She releases her grip on him and stands. Peter, like the coward he is, quickly runs away. I then see that there are two others here, Al and Drew. Tris looks around for a moment, then sinks to the floor.

I help Tris to her feet, and take her into my arms, careful not to hold her too tightly. She sobs into my shoulder for a moment, and I too have to fight off the urge to cry. I know that this is probably not the best time to ask, but I need to know what happened, so I ask her. She explains that she was attacked by Peter, Drew, and Al, but doesn't go into detail, and I decide not to push her too much right now. I will be able to get details tomorrow.

Once I am sure that she is physically ok, we head to my apartment, where I settle her in before going to deal with Drew and Al. I will find Peter tomorrow and he will pay dearly for his actions. On the short walk back to where I left them, I keep telling myself that I cannot kill them. As much as I would like to see them die for this, I can't kill them myself.

Once I get back to the chasm, I see that Al is nowhere in sight, but Drew is still on the ground moaning in pain. I hoist him up and unceremoniously deposit him at the infirmary. The entire way there, he makes claims that they were never going to throw her over, that they were just going to scare her. Even though I am not a Candor, even I can tell that he is lying.

I head back to my apartment where Tris is still sitting where I left her. She looks like she is in a total state of shock,sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. I sit next to her and she cringes slightly as I pull her against me gently.

"Tris, are you ok? I mean really ok." I say while fighting back tears. She opens he mouth to speak, but no words come out, just the sound of her sobs. I realize that I could have lost her tonight, she could have died at the bottom of the chasm and I would never have been able to recover from that. At that moment, I lose my ability to control my emotions, and I begin crying. We sit there, crying in each other's arms, for about an hour before the tears stop. I release her long enough to go to gather the supplies I need to clean her up and get her something to change into.

Once I return, I clean and bandage her wounds, and give her some privacy to change. Her physical wounds will heal quickly, but the emotional wounds, she may never fully recover from those.

"I can't believe Al." She says.

"You're moving up through the ranks and he's failing. It makes him hate himself, it makes him hate you. He's...he's just afraid." I reply.

"Everyone's afraid."

"I know, but fear does something strange to to people like Al. But not you. Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. I've seen it." I gently stroke her face.

"You should lie down, get some sleep." I say as I help her to her feet and lead her to the bed. "I'll take the couch ."

"Ok." She lays down on the bed and grabs my hand as I turn to step away. "T.J., thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, Tris. Try to get some sleep." I tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and settle on the couch.

I watch her from my spot on the couch until I see her breathing become slower and more regular, letting me know that she is asleep. I watch her a little while longer before I too fall into a fitful sleep. I am glad that we have tomorrow off, I have a lot of changes to make, and they begin tomorrow.


	35. PTSD

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Tris

I am alone in the training room, running on the treadmill, when I decide to take a break to get a drink of water. I bend to take a drink, when I feel something hit me on the back of my head. I stand and turn around to see what hit me and come face to face with Peter, but he is not alone. Standing behind him, in a line, are all the other initiates. They start pressing towards me, all with hatred and anger in their eyes. Several hands reach out and grab me by the arms and legs. I try to fight them off, but there are just too many of them, and they easily overpower me.

They drag me to stand on the stage in the pit, in front of me a crowd gathers, and I realize that they are all watching me. Then I hear it, it starts as a whisper but grows to a roar as the entire crowd joins in. Divergent, they whisper. The group gets larger and closer as they get louder in their chant. Divergent, they say. I begin to panic as I realize that I will not make it out of this alive. I try to run, but there is nowhere to go, I am surrounded. Divergent, they shout. Someone ties my hands behind my back and I struggle against my restraints, as they drag me towards the chasm. I know what they have planned for me, I know how it will all end. I will be thrown off the chasm, and they will all watch as it happens. Divergent, they scream. As they hoist me up and dangle me over the rail, I search the crowd for their faces, they are there watching it all happen and doing nothing to save me. There they stand, my friends, my family, everyone I know... except Tobias. They cannot save me... no one can... no one even wants to. As they release me from their grip, letting me fall to my death, scream in terror.

Tobias

I finally drift off to sleep, but am awoken by the sound of screaming. I leap to my feet, prepared to fight off whatever threat is in sight. When my head clears, and I realize that there is no threat, I see that the screams are coming from Tris. She is still asleep, but is screaming and thrashing in my bed. I run to her and grab her tightly, all the while, trying to wake her. Her eyes pop open and I can see the terror in her eyes as she fights against my grip.

Once she realizes that it is me, and she was dreaming, she begins to sob uncontrollably. I pull her closer to my chest and she tucks her head into the spot between my shoulder and neck. It's as if that spot was made to fit her perfectly. I gently stroke her back and whisper to her soothingly.

"It's ok, Trissy, you are safe. Everything is ok. Nothing is going to hurt you." I whisper.

"It all seemed so real, Tobias" She sobs.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I ask.

"They threw me in the chasm. No one stopped them. They killed me because I'm..."

"I would never let that happen... NEVER! No one is going to do anything to hurt you."

"But you couldn't save me. You weren't even there."

"Oh Tris, I will always be here for you. Nothing will ever change that." I say while hugging her tighter.

She doesn't respond, she just pulls me tightly into her arms and continues crying lightly. We sit this way for a little while longer before I can tell that she is falling asleep in my arms. Once I am sure that she is sleeping, I lay her down on the bed and slide away. I stand and turn to go back to the couch when I feel her grab my hand.

"T.J., stay with me?" She says meekly.

"Always." I reply as I climb back into the bed, taking her into my arms. I look at the clock and see that it is almost 3 am. I am glad that we have tomorrow off, she needs sleep and I need to take care of some initiates! I fall asleep quickly, knowing that with her here in my arms, she is safe.

Tris

I wake up, surprisingly well rested, and remember where I am. I am nestled in tightly to Tobias' side, with my head resting on his chest. I don't know why, but something about this just feels right. I am totally and completely comfortable being here with him. He makes me feel safe, and given the events of last night, that means everything to me. I don't want to move even an inch, afraid to wake him from his peaceful sleep, but I have to go to the bathroom. I slip gently from his arms and head to the bathroom, checking the time on the way. It is only 6:14 am, still early enough to go back to sleep. When I return, I slip back into his bed and curl up in his arms again, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. I fall back asleep easily and quickly, safe in his arms.

Tobias

I am surprised when I wake up, I slept later than usual, until 9 am. Tris is still asleep, tucked in closely to my side, with her head on my chest. I can't help but smile when I hear her lightly snoring. I lay still, not wanting to wake her, but can't stifle the laugh at her constant snoring. The movement wakes her, and I laugh even more. She opens her eyes and looks at me curiously.

"Just what is so funny." She asks.

"Nothing." I reply, unable to keep a straight face.

"Tobias James Eaton, tell me what you are laughing about!"

"It's nothing, really, you were just snoring and it made me laugh."

"I don't snore."

"Hmm, you don't?" I say, sitting up, and she shakes her head. "Then I wonder who else was sleeping in my bed with us making that sound." She sits up and hits me with a pillow, but winces as the movement causes her pain.

"Are you ok?" I ask solemnly.

"I pretty much hurt everywhere, but I am going to be just fine." She says with a forced smile.

"I am so sorry that I wasn't there sooner. If only I could have gotten there a few minutes earlier, maybe you wouldn't have been hurt at all." I look down at my hands, twisting in my lap.

"Hey!" She exclaims. My eyes meet hers. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you didn't attack me. The only ones who should be sorry are those three."

"Speaking of them... what do you want to do about it?"

"Well, what can I do?"

"You have two options. One, you can press charges and let them face the leaders to determine the proper punishment, if they are found guilty. Or you can allow everything to continue as normal, finish out initiation and just avoid them." I explain.

"What do you think I should do?" She asks.

"Tris, I can't make that decision for you, but I want you to know that I will support whatever choice you make. Also, I really don't want you staying in the dorm with them anymore, so I think it is better for you to stay here until you get your apartment on Monday."

"Ok, I need to think about it for a little while. Do you have any clothes I can borrow, I am going to take a shower and would like something clean to wear."

"How about this, you take a nice long shower and I will get you some clothes from the dorm. If you finish before I get back, you can use the robe I have hanging on the back of the door."

I head out the door and walk straight to the dorm, hoping that there are no initiates there. I really don't want to explain why I am getting Tris' stuff from the dorm. When I walk in, I am relieved to see that it is empty. I head to her bunk, grab her bag, and start filling it with her belongings.

"What are you doing with her stuff, Four?" I jump a little, startled by Christina's voice behind me.

"I am just gathering Tris' belongings." I reply, dryly. I look up at her and see a panicked expression on her face.

"Why? Is she ok? What happened to her? Is that why she was gone this morning? Please, Four, you have to tell me what is happening!" She says, her speech getting faster and more frantic by the second.

"Christina, calm down." I say, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Tris is ok."

"But why are you getting her things?" She says, a bit more calmly.

"It's a long story, but if you come with me, Tris can explain."

Christina helps me gather the rest of Tris' belongings and then follows me to my apartment. Once inside, I can hear that Tris is still in the shower, so I pull out an outfit and put it just inside the door. I return to the other room, ask Christina to sit on the couch, and get us all glasses of water. We sit in silence until Tris emerges from the bathroom. She looks shocked when she sees Christina there.


	36. Christina

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I am re-posting because I noticed a ton of typos.

Christina

I finish breakfast and decide to check back at the dorm for Tris. She wasn't there when I got up this morning and I am a bit concerned about her. When I get to the dorm, I am confused to see Four at Tris' bunk, messing with her things. I walk up behind him, quietly, watching as he starts packing up her clothes. I am getting more and more nervous by the moment and, when I can't hold it in any longer, I speak.

"What are you doing with her stuff, Four?" I ask, trying to keep my voice under control.

"I am just gathering Tris' belongings." He says simply. There is something about the way he says this that instantly brings me to a near panic.

"Why? Is she ok? What happened to her? Is that why she was gone this morning? Please, Four, you have to tell me what is happening!" I say in a rush, no longer able to control the fear in my voice.

"Christina, calm down." He says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I am slightly taken aback by this gesture. He looks me directly in the eyes and continues gently. "Tris is ok."

"But why are you getting her things?" I say, trying to regain my composure.

"It's a long story, but if you come with me, Tris can explain." He says.

I help him pack up the rest of her stuff and follow him silently until we reach an apartment. He unlocks the door and holds it open for me to enter. Once inside I try to ask him what is going on, but he says to wait for Tris. He takes an outfit out of her bag, slips it through a door that must be the bathroom, and asks me to have a seat on the couch. I oblige while he goes to the kitchen sink and fills three glasses with water before returning to the couch and placing them on the coffee table.

We sit in silence for several minutes until I hear the sound of the bathroom door opening. I turn and see Tris walk through. Her eyes lock with mine and she looks absolutely stunned to see me. I have a feeling that my face also shares the same look. I look her over and am shocked and horrified at what I see.

She is wearing a black tank top that shows massive bruises and scrapes on both of her arms and the deep neckline shows another on her chest. Her legs are covered by her jeans, but they undoubtedly are bruised as well. Of greater concern to me is the marks on her face. Her left jaw is swollen with dark purple bruises, her right eye is black and blue all the way to her temple, and she has scratches all over. She walks closer and I see that she is limping slightly. I am on the verge of tears just looking at her like this. I start to stand, but she motions for me to stay seated. She walks over to the couch and sits next to me.

"Tris, what happened to you?" I ask.

"I will get to that, but first, what are you doing here?" She replies.

"I saw Four gathering your stuff from the dorm and I was worried about you, so he brought me here to see you. Where are we, by the way? "

"This is my apartment." Four says.

"What happened to you Tris?" I ask again.

"Last night... I was attacked."

"Attacked! When? Where? By who? Are you ok?"

"Take a deep breath, Chris, I will tell you everything. First off I am fine, a little bruised and sore, but fine. Second, it happened late last night when I went to get a drink of water at the fountain." She says, then pauses as if she is unsure if she should continue.

"Who did this to you?"

"Honestly, I am not sure if I should tell you."

"Why? You know that you can trust me, Tris." I say, confused as to her reluctance.

"I know that I can trust you, but I also know your temper, and I don't want you to do anything crazy when I tell you."

"I promise you that I will TRY my best to keep my cool. Please just tell me."

"Ok." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "It was Peter, Drew, and... and... Al."

"Did you say Al?" I ask in disbelief. She simply nods in reply.

It is as if by body has a mind of it's own and, before I even realize what I am doing, I am on my feet and headed towards the door. I am overcome by anger and, though I am not sure what I am going to do, I know that I will make them pay for this. Then, as I make my way to the door, I am lifted off my feet. Four has his arms wrapped around my waist, with my arms pinned to my sides and has picked me up. I wriggle a little as he walks back to the couch. I see her smile as he does this.

"Let me go, Four!" I demand.

"Not until you calm down a little." He replies.

"Calm down?" I hiss. "How can I possibly calm down? After what they did to her. I swear I am going to kill them! How can you two be so calm?"

"Oh, trust me, I was anything but calm last night. But killing them isn't going to help, it would just get you executed." Four says. Why does he have to be so stinking rational?

"Well they can't just get away with hurting her!"

"They didn't get away with no repercussions. Tris made sure of that!" He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"It would be best for Tris to tell you the whole story."

"Will you at least put me down first?"

"As long as you promise to stay put." I nod and he sets me down.

I sit down beside Tris on the couch and take her hand into mine. She then tells me the entire story of last night's events. I am still reeling about everything, especially Al's involment. I am beyond proud of how she handled the situation though. She was stronger than ever before and she survived.

"So what is going to happen to them?" I ask Four.

"That is entirely up to Tris. She has the option to press charges, and if they are found guilty, they will become factionless. Otherwise, she can try to forget that it happened and move on."

"Where do we go for her to press charges?" I ask.

"She would have to go to Max and make a formal complaint, then he would assist with filing. After that they would be put on trial and she and I will testify in the hearings." Four replies.

"Let's go to Max then!" I exclaim.

"I don't think that I am going to do that." Tris says quietly.

"What do you mean? They need to be made accountable for their actions! They can't get away with what they did. They could have killed you! They deserve to suffer as Factionless for the rest of their lives for that." I say, as I begin to cry.

"I have decided that I don't want to press charges Christina. I want them to see me every day and remember what they tried to do and that they failed. I want them to remember that a tiny girl from Abnegation kicked the crap out of them. I want them to see that I don't fear them anymore. I want them to cower at the very sight of me because they now know that I am stronger than they will ever be." Tris says, powerfully.

"I still think that..." I start and am interrupted by Four.

"It's her decision, Christina. We need to respect that." He says.

"I will try." I then remember that we packed up all of Tris' stuff, which means that she is not going back to the dorm. "So where are you planning to stay until you get your apartment? At your mysterious friend's place?" I ask, and she nods.

"Would you just tell me who this friend is?" I plead. She looks unsure, she makes eye contact with Four, and he nods slightly.

"Ok, I will tell you, but you have to promise to put your Candor nature aside and keep this a secret for now." She says sternly.

"I promise."

"I am going to be staying here...with Four."

"Wait! Your 'friend' that you have been talking about is Four? Are you two..." I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.

"No Chris! It's not like that. We are just friends." She exclaims.

"So wait, you started staying with this friend right after we transfered, and I remember you mentioning a friend here on the first day. So, exactly how long have you two been friends?" Again she looks at Four.

"Eight years." He answers.

"Eight years! But that means... that you... came from... Abnegation?!" I say, and they both nod. "This is insane! Who could have ever imagined that two of the toughest people in Dauntless, are both originally from Abnegation. Does anyone else know about you two?"

"Just my friend Zeke. He has known about our friendship since I got here two years ago. He actually helped me get letters out to her while she was still in Abnegation. But Christina, you HAVE to keep this information private. I do not want anyone to know where I came from." Four says, and I can tell from his tone that he really means it.

"I promise!" I say. Then I realize something. "So wait, this means that you know his real name!"

"I do." Tris responds.

"And it is...?"

"Something that I am not going to tell you." She smiles. I pout a little and they both just shake their heads.

"Fine!" I say. Then I notice that it is almost lunch time. "Are you planning to go to the dining hall for lunch?"

"I don't know Chris, I want to show that I am not afraid of them, but at the same time I don't want to go in there looking like this." She gestures to her battered and bruised face and arms.

"Well, lucky for you, I can fix that."

I jump up and head to where her bag is sitting. I begin rifling through her belongings until I find the little black bag that I had stuck in the bottom of her bag. I pull it out and take it over to her. She has a bewildered look on her face as I open it up and reveal the makeup that she didn't even remember I made her buy. Eventually I convince her to let me try and cover up the bruises with makeup. I also give her a long sleeve shirt that will hide the bruises and scrapes on her arms. After about 20 minutes I have finished applying makeup to her face neck and shoulders, effectively covering all the bruises. Her jaw is still a little bit swollen but is not very noticeable.

After some time of convincing her that no one will notice her injuries, she and I head to the dining hall for lunch. Four says that he will meet us there, after he stops to speak to someone about tomorrow. We walk into the dining hall and I watched rest as she casually scans the room looking, most certainly, for Peter, Drew, and Al. I see Peter sitting at a table in the corner, looking rather dejected. I laugh to myself as I see him struggle to lift his fork and the giant black eye on his normally smug face. Drew and Al, on the other hand, are nowhere to be seen.

We get our food and head to our normal table, where a few of the other initiates that we have become friends with are sitting. We begin eating our meal and I see out of the corner of my eye when Four comes back into the room, looking frustrated. He grabs his food and sits down with us. I try to ask him what's the matter but he dismisses me with a wave and says I'll find out later. Then I see Al make his way through the door slowly walk across the room. Tris, however, doesn't see him enter as her back is to the door. I glare at him, hoping he will take the hint and stay away, but he continues walking towards us. I look to my right, where Four is sitting, and see him visibly tense up and grip the table. Al approaches the table and places his hand gently on the Tris' shoulder.


	37. Repercussions

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

A few people have asked when Fourtris is going to happen... I assure you that it will not be too much longer. I have a few more chapters to go before they are ready. Stay with me, I hope you like the direction I am going with it.

Tris

I am sitting across from Christina and T.J. at lunch when I notice Christina start glaring at someone over my shoulder and a strange look on T.J.'s face. A second later I feel someone touch me on the shoulder. I jump a bit, startled by the sudden contact, and wince slightly from the pain of that movement. I don't even have to look over to know who it is, as I can smell his signature aroma of sage and lemongrass, a smell that now makes me sick. I jerk away from his touch and slide over on the bench, so that he is no longer behind me. I see Tobias gripping the edge of the table as if that is the only think preventing him from flying across the table and strangling Al.

"Get away from me!" I say quietly, with a venomous tone.

"Tris, please, you have to talk to me. I need to explain." He pleads.

"There is nothing you can say to me to make it better." I retort.

"Please, Tris, I am so sorry!"

"Get away from me!" I nearly scream. I see Christina and Tobias starting to stand up from their seats and I motion for them to sit back down.

"Please just give me five minutes, then if you want, I will promise never to bother you again." He says as a tear streams down his face. I think my Abnegation nature kicks in at that moment, and I feel myself nodding before I even realize that I am doing it.

"We are coming with you!" Christina says, standing and pulling T.J. to his feet.

"It's ok Chris. You guys wait here, I will be just fine." I wait until they are seated and make my way to the door, Al following at a short distance behind. Once we step out the door, I turn to face him, with my arms crossed protectively across my chest. He is silent for a moment too long.

"You asked for five minutes, so say what you have to say or leave me alone." I snap. He takes a deep breath.

"I know that I made a HUGE mistake" He begins. I scoff at the understatement.

"I never thought that you would get hurt. I was stupid and believed Peter when he said that we were just going to scare you. By the time I realized what he truly had in mind, it was too late. I tried to stop them but Drew threw me up against the wall and knocked me out. Please, Tris, you have to believe that I would never have been with them if I knew what they actually had in mind. I would NEVER have tried to push you in the chasm!" He sobbed.

"I don't know what I believe anymore. What I know is this... You betrayed me. You turned your back on me when I have always been there for you. I was there to encourage you, I comforted you, I protected you, I was your friend, and you betrayed me! You are a coward, Al, that is all there is to it."

"I know, I was just so afraid. I was afraid to fail and Peter said..."

"I don't care about anything that Peter said. What's next? You jump in the chasm because Peter said to? And yes, you were afraid. We are all afraid! But there is a difference between us, you let your fear define you, you let it break you. You have turned into someone I don't even recognize anymore." I holler, determined not to let his tears make me soften.

"I know that you are right. But it's easier for you, you are brave, I am weak."

"Being brave isn't the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it. I fight my fears everyday, but not once have I turned on someone else, especially not someone I considered a friend. You say that you are weak... well figure out a way to be strong." I say firmly.

"I don't know if I can." He says meekly.

"Well you better figure it out if you plan to make it in Dauntless, or anywhere else for that matter." We stand silently for a moment before I continue. "Well, do you have anything else to say to me? Otherwise I think you need to walk away."

"Do you think you could ever forgive me? It is killing me to think that I may have lost you forever."

"Honestly, Al..." I say with a sigh. "I am not sure that I ever can. You have hurt me so deeply and completely that I don't think we can ever rebuild the friendship that we had. I am not even sure I would even want to try."

"I understand. But I have to say one more thing and then you won't have to deal with me again. I am truely sorry for everything Tris, and I will be for the rest of my life."

With that he turns and slowly walks away. I turn on my heels and head back into the dinning hall where I see Christina and Tobias nervously watching the door. A look of relief washes over his face as I walk back to the table. I take my seat and begin eating my lunch as if nothing has happened. I see the others at the table staring at me with shocked looks on their faces.

"What are you guys looking at?" I ask.

"Christina and Four told us about what happened." Zeke says.

"Oh" Is all I can manage to say in reply.

"You were amazing Trissy! I am so proud of you." Uriah adds.

"I don't know about amazing. I just did what I needed to." I say, not liking the attention.

"Don't be so Abnegation, Tris." Will adds. "You proved that you are truly Dauntless, and it is ok to be proud of that."

"Can we just talk about something else, you guys?" I say, trying to divert the attention.

"So what are you all planning to do today? I know that I am taking Tris shopping." Christina says and I groan.

"I have enough stuff, you saw how much you already made me buy when you packed my stuff." I say, immediately regretting bringing that up.

"Why did you pack her stuff?" Uriah asks her. I don't even want to answer, knowing that I am a horrible liar. Thankfully Christina immediately speaks up.

"Well, after what happened last night, Tris decided that she doesn't want to stay in the dorms anymore. So I helped her pack up and we took her stuff to her friend's apartment." She says.

"Who is her friend?" Marlene asks.

"Just someone that she has become friends with here. We ran into her during the first week here and I introduced her to Tris. We knew each other in Candor, though she was a few years older than me. We have been hanging out with Sadie ever since and she offered to let us stay with her if we ever wanted to." Chris says effortlessly. Who knew that someone from Candor could like that easily. I just nod in agreement.

Just then, Max walks into the dinning hall and waves Tobias over to him. He leaves the table and talks to Max for a few minutes then returns to the table while Max walks to the stage area. He switches on the sound system, picks up the microphone, and begins to make an announcement.

"Attention all initiates... you are all expected to report to the transfer training room at 4 pm for some important information. You are all required to attend and if you are not present... you are free to head to your new home with the Factionless. That is all!"

At that he walks off the stage, nods to Tobias, and leaves the room. We all look at T.J. and he just tells us that he has to go get some work done before the meeting and we will find out what this is later. We all finish our meals and Christina and I head out. I expect her to drag me from store to store, but she says that she just said that to make an excuse for us not hanging out with everyone else. Instead, we head back to T.J.'s apartment so that I can take a nap. I am sore and exhausted and welcome the time to rest. Christina switches on the TV and curls up on the couch while I lie down on the bed and quickly fall asleep.


	38. Plans Change

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I needed a little more time to fit some things into the story, so I decided to make a little unplanned change to the initiation.

Tobias

As soon as I leave the dining hall, I head to the training room and begin preparing for the meeting. Max told me that there has to be a change in the schedule for initiation and I am responsible for planning the next week. I get everything setup and have 45 minutes to spare, so I decide to get in a little target practice. I set the target in place and grab a gun. I decide to have a bit of fun and do some trick shots, over the shoulder, eyes closed, left handed, and moving target. Then I step it up a notch and make a pattern on the target.

I guess I lost track of time because just as I finish, I hear the initiates behind me. I decide to play this up and I slowly walk to the target, removing it from it's frame, and hold it in front of me so they can all see it clearly. The pattern is nearly perfect, a circle of holes with a 4 right in the middle. I catch Tris' eye and see her mouth "Show off", with a slight grin. I unload the gun, place it on the table, and turn to face the initiates.

"Lauren, are all of your initiates present?" I ask, having already noted that all of the transfers are here.

"They are." She replies, after taking a quick look at the group.

"Ok, let's get started. I have been informed that there will be a change in the initiation schedule. We will not be completing stage three tomorrow as planned." I hear a few groans and whispers, but continue on without acknowledging them. "The computer equipment that we need to complete the Fear Landscape is currently out of order. Max has already informed Erudite and they are working on preparing a replacement system. This will take nearly a week to complete, test, and install, so stage 3 will be postponed until next Friday."

"So do we have the whole week off?" Someone asks.

"No. Over the next week, you are all going to have the opportunity to try out various jobs here in Dauntless. I have prepared sign up sheets to allow you to select the jobs you would like to try. Though you are not required to try any certain number of jobs, I highly advise you try a few, as you may not get your first choice. Once you have made your selections, Max and I will put together a schedule. This will be starting tomorrow morning at 9am, so check the schedule first thing tomorrow morning. If you miss your assigned time slot, you will not have a chance to get another, so keep that in mind. As soon as you have selected, you are free to go."

As soon as they have finished signing up, all but Tris leave the room.

"Are you going straight home after this?" She asks.

"No, I will be working late tonight with Max, trying to get these scheduled. Don't plan on waiting up for me."

"Fine." She says wrinkling her nose. "I just don't want to go out, and I will be bored at the apartment all alone."

"I don't mind if you have Christina, or even Zeke, come over. I just got a few new movies that you might want to watch." I say.

"Are you sure you don't care?" She asks, eyeing me carefully.

"I am sure! Now get going, I have work to do." I chuckle.

As soon as she leaves, I gather the sign up sheets and look them over briefly. There are currently 11 different jobs that have available positions available. I notice as I review each list, that Tris has signed up for every single one. She has to know that she will rank highly and will have a good chance to select whatever job she wants, but she still wants to try out every job. She is so inquisitive, and that is one of the many things that I love about her. I am glad to see that all the initiates have selected a few jobs, though some have very little response.

Leadership - 1 opening - Nearly everyone signed up for this one.

Control Room - 2 openings - 7 signed up.

Initiation Trainer (seasonal) - 2 openings - 10 signed up.

Fence Guard - 15 openings - 5 signed up.

Cafeteria - 2 openings - 4 signed up.

Maintenance - 1 opening - 3 signed up.

Custodial - 2 openings - 1 signed up.

Tattoo Parlor - 1 opening - 5 signed up.

Movie Theater - 1 opening - 2 signed up.

Shop Keeper - 2 openings - 3 signed up.

Infirmary - 2 openings - 6 signed up.

I take the papers, grab some food to take with me, and head to Max's office to start working on getting all the initiates setup for their time slots. We decided that they will be spending 2 hours with a member of the department, and that will be determined by the department supervisor. It takes us about 5 hours of moving people around, contacting departments, setting up time slots, etc. We finally finish at about 10 pm and Max thanks me before we head out.

I head back to my apartment and am surprised to hear the TV on before I even open the door; Tris usually has the TV on so softly that I have to turn it up to even hear it. When I open the door, I realize why. I see that she has invited Christina and Zeke over for movie night. Currently, Zeke is fast asleep in my recliner, and Christina and Tris are both out cold on my bed. I stifle a laugh when I see that Christina is hugging tightly to Tris' legs, and her face is between Tris' feet. Even though they will likely want to kill me for this, I grab my cell phone and snap a quick picture. I don't feel like waking any of them up, so I turn off the TV and lights, change for bed, and make myself as comfortable as possible on the couch.


	39. Infirmary

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Going to try to post a chapter a day this week. Already got one on Monday, Tuesday, and now Wednesday. Just so you know, I am not going to write about every single one of Tris' job shadows, but there are going to be two worth mentioning. On with the next chapter.

Tris

I wake up slightly confused to see feet right in front of my face. I sit up slightly and see Christina, with her head at the other end of the bed, using my feet as a pillow. I check the clock and see that it is 7:30 am and look around the room for Zeke or T.J. Neither of them appear to be here. I see a note on the table.

Tris and Christina,

I am running to the dining hall to grab breakfast and will be back soon. Zeke said to tell you thanks for the movie night but he had to be at work at 7. I have a copy of the job shadowing schedule on the table, so you don't have to go to the dining hall or dorm to check. See you in a bit.

Four

I laugh a bit at the fact that he signed the note "Four" but remember that he still does not want Christina to know his real name. I check the schedule and see that I am setup for two jobs today. I am working in the infirmary at 9 am, then in maintenance at 7 pm. I see that Chris isn't scheduled until 1pm, so I decide to let her sleep. I get in the shower, and when I step out, I realize that I didn't bring a change of clothes in with me. I grab Tobias' robe off the back of the door and slip it on, hoping that he is still gone and I can get changed before he returns. I am not so lucky.

I hurry out of the bathroom just as he walks in the front door with a bag in his hands. I can feel my face redden in embarrassment at how undressed I am. Though I am technically fully covered, the Abnegation in me is still embarrassed that I am being seen without actual clothes on. T.J. doesn't seem to notice how embarrassed I am, or if he does he hides it well. He simply starts setting out muffins, bagels, and coffee for breakfast, while I grab some clothes and dart back into the bathroom to change.

When I emerge, he gives me a sly smile and continues eating, motioning for me to join him at the table. We only talk for a few minutes before he has to head to work. He has a meeting with Max this morning and then he has 3 initiates shadowing him today. Since there are no initiates to actually train, he is going over other aspects of the job, the actual training of initiates is learned on the job. He heads out and I get ready for my first job. I even manage to do a decent job with my makeup. It takes me twice as long as it took Christina, but I am able to cover all the bruises nearly as well as she did.

I hurry out the door and head straight for the infirmary. I do notice that there are a lot of people standing around in groups talking, more than usual for this time of day. I am going too quickly to really hear what they say but manage to catch a few words here and there. Chasm... fall...jump...dead...injured...coma...pushed...suicidal. I don't hear enough to know exactly what they are talking about, but I know that it is bad. I decide not to stop, and hurry on to the infirmary. I am sure that, whatever happened, I will hear about it later.

I walk in and speak to the front desk clerk who informs me that I will be working with Dr. Warden and Nurse Cooper this morning. I wait until they come out to get me. A woman, who appears to be about the same age as my mom, taps me on the shoulder and introduces herself.

"Hello, I am Nurse Cooper, but please call me Carolina. You must be Tris." I nod politely in reply. "Well I had planned to give you a tour of the facilities, but we have a few urgent cases that require my attention so we can jump right in. First off, in curtain 1 we have a sprained ankle, but that is already set and will be discharged in a few minutes." We continue walking as she explains the charting system on the tablet in her hand.

"Now in curtain 2, we have a young man with a dislocated shoulder. He came in about 2 hours ago and we have tried resetting it a few times so far, but it keeps popping back out of place." I cringe at that, feeling a bit sick at her casual description of someone's dislocated shoulder. Maybe I am not suited to medical work.

"So you and I will be preparing him for surgery and, if you are up to it, you can observe the surgical procedure. The doctor is in the room now so you can meet him. Now remember that the patient is quite heavily medicated so he may be a bit... well loopy."

We walk in and I am greeted by the doctor, who asks me to call him Mitchell, rather than Dr. Warden. He excuses himself to go prepare for surgery and Carolina takes me to meet the patient. I walk over to the bed, and am shocked when I finally am able to see his face... Zeke.

"Zeke, what happened to you?" I ask.

"Hey, Trissy Wissy... wait, you don't like that. Trissy Poo... no, not that either. Oh well, hey Tris." He says, slurring all his words. If I didn't know better I would think that he was drunk.

"Hey Zeke. Can you tell me what happened?" I say like I am talking to a child.

"I got hurt." He pouts.

"I know that. How did you get hurt?"

"I caught him." He slurs.

"You caught someone? Who did you catch? Did they trip?"

"Yeah, maybe they tripped. It was some boy, maybe he tripped and I caught him. I think I hurt him. I need to go check on him. I think I hurt his wrist." Zeke tried to stand, but is so weak from the medications, that I just place a hand on his good shoulder to settle him down.

"You need to stay here, Zeke, so they can fix your shoulder." I say, soothingly.

"I got hurt." He pouts again.

"I know, buddy."

"I hope I didn't hurt that guy that slipped on the ice."

"Slipped on the ice? I thought you said someone tripped." I ask, confused.

"I don't know. Tripped... slipped... flipped... whatever. I got hurt."

"Ok Zeke. Just relax. We can talk about it when you are all better. Now Carolina is going to give you some medicine to make you go to sleep. Then when you wake up, your shoulder will be all better." Carolina injects some medication into his IV and I can tell the moment it starts kicking in. He smiles at me happily and then whispers "Good Night."

"Good night Zeke. See you soon."

"You were really good with him. Maybe you should become a nurse here. I know that most people want to be a doctor, but as a nurse, you get to spend more quality time with the patients and affect their care. Ok, now lets get him to surgery. Do you want to come in?"

"I would like to try." I say.

We wheel Zeke in to the operating room, then change into scrubs and "scrub in". Once my hands are nearly raw from scrubbing, I am outfitted with gloves and a mask and given a spot to stand off to the side, where I can still observe the operation. The doctor begins by making a small incision near the front of Zeke's shoulder blade. He asks for retractors, which I notice look like clamps. He uses them to grasp the skin on each side of the incision and pulls them apart gently. I can see, what I can only assume, is muscle and tendons as he does this.

I feel a little queasy as I watch this, but can't seem to look away. I notice my vision going a little blurry at the edges, and a grey tint everywhere I look. I am unsteady on my feet as the grey continues to darken, so I sit on the floor. I hear Carolina call out my name as my vision fades to black, my last thought before losing consciousness... "I am definitely not going to train for medical work."

I wake up, not sure how long I was asleep, and see Carolina walking into the room.

"Hey there, sleepy head!" She says, brightly.

"Hi. How long was I out?" I grumble.

"Oh, about an hour."

"How is Zeke?"

"He will be fine. The surgery was a complete success. He should be waking up very soon. Do you want to go see him?"

"Yes, please." I reply.

"Can you promise me that you won't pass out again?" She laughs.

"I can promise you that I will try. Can you promise me that I won't have to see the inside of anyone's body? That improved my odds a bit."

"That I can certainly promise you. He is all stitched and bandaged up."

We walk down the hall and head to Zeke's room. As we reach the door, Dr. Warden and another nurse are leaving the room. They give me a little grief for my earlier episode and also let us know that Zeke is awake and in minimal pain. Carolina lets me know that I can go in and that she will be back later to check on both of us. Zeke smiles when he sees me.

"Hey T, how did you know I was here?" He asks.

"I am not surprised that you don't remember. You were pretty out of it when I saw you earlier." He looks confused, so I continue. "I was doing my job shadow here this morning and you were my first patient to see. You were on some pretty heavy pain medications. You were actually quite funny. You kept pouting that you got hurt."

"I did not!" He exclaims.

"Oh, I promise that you did. I tried to get you to tell me what happened but you couldn't seem to remember. You just kept saying that you caught that guy... the one that tripped, or slipped, or flipped or something. It was really quite entertaining." I laugh.

"Yeah well, you try being injured and drugged up, and see how much sense you make."

Just then Carolina comes back into the room with some water and trays of food for both of us.

"A little something for my favorite two patients." She says.

"Two patients? What happened to you Tris?" He asks.

"Well, I... um..." I stammer.

"She passed out cold during your surgery." Carolina fills in. "She actually just woke up a little bit ago herself."

"You passed out?" Zeke laughs. "And I thought you were tougher than that."

"Yeah, well you try seeing the inside of someone and tell me how tough you feel." I retort.

"On that note, I will be back later." Carolina says, and she leaves the room.

I pull a chair up to his bed and set my tray on the edge. We sit, eating in silence for a little while, until curiosity gets the better of me.

"What happened Zeke?"

"Well, after I left for work this morning, I was headed past the chasm." He sighs and pauses.

"And?"

"Well I saw someone standing near the railing. I didn't think too much of it at first, but they I realized that I could hear them sobbing. Not just crying, but gut wrenching sobs. I walked a bit closer and I saw him start climbing up on the railing. I didn't want to startle them and make them fall so I crept up quietly. Just as I got within arms length of him, he leaned forward like he was looking to the bottom. I reached out and grabbed him by the wrist just as he jumped off the railing." He sets his fork down and slightly adjusts the sling that is holding his injured arm.

"So is the guy ok?" I ask.

"I think so. When he jumped, my arm went over the railing and I got the bar right in the arm pit. When that happened he slammed against the side of the chasm and lost consciousness. I am still not sure how I managed to hold on, but I did, while I called out for help. I few people came and pulled him back over the side and called for the medics. When they took him away, he was still unconscious, but he was alive and they said he would be fine."

"You are a hero, Zeke. You saved that guy's life." I say.

"I guess." He shrugs.

"Do you know who he is?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Well, do I know him?"

"Yes." He replies, hesitantly.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I am not really sure if I should."

"Why?"

"Because I am not sure how you will react."

"Just tell me Zeke!" I say, a bit too forcefully. "Who jumped?"

"Ok, ok, I will tell you. It was... Al."


	40. Suicidal Ideations

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I know that it was no shocker that it was Al that jumped, but I wanted to keep him alive and bring in a little more Zeke at the same time. Happy Thursday everyone! On with the story.

Tris

Previously...

"Just tell me Zeke!" I say, a bit too forcefully. "Who jumped?"

"Ok, ok, I will tell you. It was... Al."

It takes me a second to process what he said, but as soon as it sinks in, I am sick to my stomach. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour. What if Zeke hadn't been there? What if he had gone over the edge with Al? What if they both died? This is all my fault! If I had only forgiven him, would this have happened? I feel a wave of uncontrollable nausea come over me and I run to find the nearest bathroom. I make it just in time, as my stomach empties itself of it's contents. Tears stream down my face as I wretch, cough, and sputter. I hear the door creak open and someone enter.

"Tris? Are you ok dear?" I hear Carolina say. She comes closer and stands behind me, as I didn't even take the time to close the stall door.

"I will be fine..." I start to say, but am stopped short as I again begin to vomit. She holds back my hair with one hand and rubs my back with the other. Once I am sure that I am done, she helps me to my feet and takes me to the sink to wash up. I wash my face and rinse my mouth out.

"Come on dear, lets get you somewhere to sit down." She leads me to a small room with a few couches, tables and chairs, and a small kitchen.

"This is the staff break room. It looks plain, but when we have been working a 12 hour shift, it seems like the most comfortable place in the faction. Take a minute to breath, I will be right back."

She leaves as I make myself comfortable on one of the couches. She is right, even though it looks old and worn out, it is actually quite comfortable. I even have to fight the urge to lay down and sleep. I know I don't need to, but when I am upset, all I want to do is sleep. I hear Carolina enter the room again. She crosses over to me and hands me a cup of water. I give her a grateful smile and take a drink.

"Sip slowly, dear, you don't want to make yourself sick again." I nod and take a small sip. "Now can you tell me what happened? I need to make sure that you are ok."

"I... my... he..." I stutter as sobs wrack my body.

"Ok, take a deep breath." She says soothingly, stroking the back of my hand. "Take it slow." Once my breathing is under control I decide to try to speak again.

"I talked to Zeke. He told me what happened, how he got hurt." I say.

"Right, he stopped a boy from jumping into the chasm." She says, matter-of factly.

"He could have died. They both could have died. And it's all my fault." I dissolve into another round of tears.

"How could it be your fault? You weren't even there, were you?" She asks.

"No, but it is all my fault."

"Now, dear, I am sure that is not true." She sits next to me on the couch. "Can you tell me why you think it is?"

I take a deep breath and tell her the whole story. I tell her about the late night attack, Al's involvement and last minute change of heart. I tell her about him begging for forgiveness and how I selfishly refused. I tell her about the harsh words I spoke to him in anger and how sad he looked when he walked away. I tell her that if I had not been so selfish, none of this would have happened.

"You must have transferred from Abnegation, right?" She smiles. I only nod. "I can tell. But I have to tell you something dear, none of this is your fault. You can't control the actions of other. You didn't make him attack you. You didn't make him try to commit suicide. That was all him."

"But I should have forgiven him when he asked."

"You are only human, dear, and that is how a normal person reacts. Forgiveness is not a natural thing. You have to work to forgive someone. And it is not instant. What he did... I would not blame you if you never were able to find forgiveness for that. But no matter what, it is not your fault that he tried to kill himself. Only Al can be held responsible for his actions, not you. Do you understand?"

"Logically, I do, but I can't help but feel guilty."

"Logic Vs emotions, ah, the plight of being human." We sit quietly for a while before she speaks again. "Do you want to go see him?"

"He is still in the infirmary? I thought he may have been released already."

"We have a mandatory 72 hour hold for suicide attempts here. They are not allowed to leave until we can be sure that they are not a danger to themselves or others."

"I think I would like to see him, if you think it's ok."

"I think it would be fine. It may help both of you." She helps me to my feet and we head to the elevator.

She walks me to the door and explains that he is in restraints and lightly medicated but should be alert at this point. She tells me that she will be down the hall and that all I need to do is press the nurse call button, and she will come check on us. I take a deep breath and slowly open the door. When I walk in I nearly cry at the sight of him strapped to the bed, sound asleep. He seems so frail and weak right now, which I guess mirrors how he feels mentally. I slowly and quietly walk across the room and slide a chair up next to the bed.

I sit close to the bed and gently take his hand, being careful not to wake him. I cry silently and rest my head on the bed next to his arm. I feel his arm shift a bit and hear his breathing pattern change a bit. I look up when I realize that he is awake and meet his gaze and see shock and confusion on his face.

"Tris? What are you doing here?"

"I had my job shadow in the infirmary this morning. I saw Zeke... and he told me what happened." I say.

"Is that who grabbed me?" I nod in reply. "Is he ok?"

"Well, he dislocated his shoulder and had to have surgery to fix it. But I just saw him and he is going to be just fine."

"OK, well I am glad about that. I never meant for anyone else to get hurt. I just... I just..." He trails off.

"You just what, Al?"

"I just couldn't do it anymore. It was too hard!"

"What is too hard... initiation?" I ask.

"Life."

"I get that, Al. But suicide is not the answer. Your life matters. You have people that care about you. You are important and have a place here in Dauntless."

"How can you say that, Tris? How can you be so kind to me after what I did?"

"What you did... was terrible, I will never deny that. But who you are... I believe that deep inside that has not changed." I say, sincerely.

"I don't even KNOW who I am anymore. Why are you even hear? I don't deserve your kindness."

"Kindness?" I say, beginning to cry again. "I have been anything but kind to you Al. You asked me for forgiveness, and I was cruel to you. I am so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Your fault? How could any of this be considered your fault? I did this... all of it. I am the one who listened to Peter. I am the one who betrayed you. I am the one who decided to jump off the chasm. Me... not you. This is all my fault. I don't know what is wrong with me." He sobs.

"It's called depression." I turn to the sound of the voice and see that Carolina has entered the room. We were so engrossed in our conversation, that neither of us heard her enter. "It's a serious medical condition, and probably something that you have dealt with for a long time. I have a few things that I need to ask you. Do you want Tris to leave so we can speak privately?"

"I would really rather that she stay... if she wants to." Al replies. He looks at me and I nod, indicating that I will stay.

"Ok" She continues "I have a few standard questions that I need to ask you. First in the past two weeks, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless?"

"Every day, I guess" He shrugs.

"Have you had any thoughts of suicide?" She reads. "Sorry about that. You don't need to answer that. Next, How is your sleep?"

"Normal I guess. I sleep about four hours a night. Sometimes I wake up a few times."

"Normal? Why do you say that is normal?" She asks, a concerned tone in her voice.

"Well, that is pretty normal for me. It has been this way for as long as I can remember."

"How is your energy?"

"I am usually pretty tired." He shrugs.

"Do you prefer to stay at home rather than going out and doing new things?" Carolina asks.

"Home? I don't feel like I even have a home anymore. I never really have."

"Never have?"

"Not really..." He begins. "I never really felt like I belonged in Candor."

"Why do you say that?" She asks.

"Well, my parents never really liked me much. I don't think I was ever good enough for them. They encouraged me to transfer because they knew that they would not have to see me anymore."

"What made you feel that you were not good enough?"

"They told me." He says, flatly.

"Did they do anything else?"

"They hit me sometimes." I shudder as he says this.

"I am sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk more about it?" She asks.

"Not right now... but maybe later?"

"Ok, well it sounds to me like you have been suffering from severe depression... for a long time. The good thing is, with the right treatment, this is something that we can try to control. The bad thing is, this can't be solved over night. It will take time and hard work to find the right combination of medication and therapy to help, but I am confident that you can find happiness in your life again."

Carolina leaves shortly after that, and I sit talking to Al for a while longer. I leave the infirmary, grab some dinner, and head back to Tobias' apartment. He is not home, so I just eat while relaxing and watching TV.

I am scheduled to work with maintenance at 7 pm and head out to meet near the boiler room. I am not sure who I am meeting so I am surprised when I recognize the person waiting for me. I know that I have seen him before, but I can't seem to remember where I met him, or even what his name is. I can tell that he recognizes me too.


	41. A Family Affair

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Here is the Friday chapter of my chapter-a-day goal.

Tris

Previously...

I am scheduled to work with maintenance at 7 pm and head out to meet near the boiler room. I am not sure who I am meeting so I am surprised when I recognize the person waiting for me. I know that I have seen him before, but I can't seem to remember where I met him, or even what his name is. I can tell that he recognizes me too. Suddenly I remember how I recognize him. This is Jake, the guy who I landed on at the bar. I am certain that my face is beet red, and I know that he notices, from his small chuckle.

"Well hi there, Tris. I knew that I was getting an initiate with me tonight but I didn't know it was going to be you." He smiles.

"You remember my name?"

"Of course I remember your name. It's not everyday that a beautiful girl literally falls into my lap." I blush even more at this comment. I think he can tell that I am uncomfortable so he continues on. "So it seems that I have you with me until the end of my shift. I am not sure what all you know about my job. What made you sign up to shadow in maintenance?"

"Actually... I signed up for everything." He laughs at this.

"That is rather surprising."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Well, I happen to know that you have a pretty high ranking so far, so you will have a good shot at any job you wish to choose. Maintenance is not usually a top choice for most people. Me, on the other hand, I wanted this."

"If you don't mind me asking, what was your rank?"

"I was fourth in my initiation. They were all shocked that I didn't select a more prestigious job, but I love this job. I have always enjoyed tinkering with and fixing things."

"So what do you have planned for tonight?"

"Actually, it is going to be a pretty slow night, since I have most of my projects for the week done already. We just have to fix the intake valve on the 7th floor water heater, change a few light bulbs, and fix the lock on one of the offices. But if you want, I can show you the work room and give you an idea of the other stuff we do here."

"That would be great. Thanks Jake."

"Anytime. Plus with it being so slow, I can have a chance to get to know you a little bit."

"I am not sure there is anything interesting about me... but sure. Only if I get to know a bit about you too."

"Deal." He says with a handshake.

We walk along, completing the assigned tasks and chatting his job and the normal things that he has to do. When we get back to the work room, we still have about an hour left so we sit and talk.

"So Tris, I know that you are a transfer, and I am going to take a guess that you are from Abnegation." He says.

"How did you know?"

"I can just tell from the way you keep deflecting the conversation off of yourself."

"Ok, how about this. You can ask me a question and I will answer it, as long as it is not too personal, and then I will ask you one."

"Alright. Let's see... Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes. I have a brother, Caleb, he transferred to Erudite this year. We are less than a year apart, so we both had our ceremony this year. What about you?"

"I have a twin sister, Lena. So, I know that you transferred here from Abnegation. My question is why."

"It is pretty simple, I was just never selfless enough for Abnegation. Were you born here or a transfer?"

"I was born here, and when we had our Choosing Ceremony three years ago, we both decided to stay. Were you close to your family?" He asks.

"I'd like to think that I still am, even though we are in separate factions now. My dad and I very much loved each other, but I know that it hurt him deeply when Caleb and I both left. I have always been very close to my mom. She was never your typical Abnegation mother. She has always been very affectionate towards us. I miss her so much." I get lost in though for a moment and go silent, just thinking about how much I miss parents, and even Caleb. I finally remember to continue. "What about you? Are you very close to your parents?"

"Lena and I were always very close to our mom."

"Were?" I ask.

"She died when we were 12. After that we lived with our Aunt Maggie. We are still close to her."

"What about your dad?"

"That is a bit more complicated." He pauses as if deciding whether or not to continue. "We have actually never met our father."

"Never met him? Did he die before you were born?" I ask, thinking I am pushing too far, but letting my curiosity get the better of me.

"No, he just wasn't around. He and my mother were not married when she got pregnant. Actually he was married to someone else. He was not from Dauntless but would come here often for his job, and that is how they met."

"I am sorry if I am prying. You don't need to tell me this, but I have to ask. Do you think he knows about the two of you?"

"I don't mind you asking. I am pretty much an open book. And to answer your question, yes, I am certain that he knows. My mother was a wonderful, loving, giving woman, so don't get me wrong when I say this... but she was foolish. She honestly believed him when he said that he was going to leave his wife and find a way for us to be together as a family. Apparently, he visited her throughout the begining of her pregnancy, and told her that he was working on plans to leave his wife and marry her. Then, when she was seven months pregnant, he just stopped meeting with her." He pauses for a moment. "She thought that he was dead. I heard from my aunt, that she cried for weeks for him. She never heard from him again. She honestly believed that he loved her and wanted to be with us. She even gave us his last name when we were born instead of hers."

"How do you know that he didn't love her? Maybe he was planning to be with her before he died."

"Well, that's the thing... he is still alive. When we were about a year old, she saw him again. She went to his faction one day for a meeting and saw him there. She didn't speak to him, but was pretty sure that he saw her too. He was there with his wife and newborn baby. She realized then that he never planned to be a family with us. Knowing that he never wanted her, wanted us... it crushed her. She was never quite the same after that. When my mother got sick, she had cancer, we all went to live with my aunt. And, when she died, we just stayed with her. He was never really a father to us, so even if he would have taken us in, we wouldn't have wanted that."

"Jake, I am so sorry!" I say.

"Thanks, but it doesn't really bother me anymore. If he doesn't want anything to do with us, then why should I want to have anything to do with him. I do have one regret though..."

"What is that?"

"The baby that my mother saw with him, I found out that it was a little boy. My little brother, he must be about 17 or 18 now. I love my sister, but I have always wondered what it would have been like to have a brother. It is kind of crazy, I have a brother, but we have never met and probably never will. Sorry for spilling this all on you. It's just that I really don't have many friends and my sister is really sensitive about all this. It really feels good to talk about things to someone."

"I don't mind at all. I am enjoying talking to you."

"Well I do appreciate it. Here I am going on and on about my life and I ruined our little game. I guess the next question is mine. So, I know your first name is Tris, but what is your last name?"

"Prior. What about yours?" I ask.

"Eaton."


	42. Decisions

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

This is going to be a fairly short chapter. I felt like posting a second chapter today, but will still try to get the Saturday and Sunday chapters ready to close out my chapter a day week. After that I will try to post at least two a week until I am done.

Tris

Previously...

So, I know your first name is Tris, but what is your last name?"

"Prior. What about yours?" I ask.

"Eaton."

I am too shocked to even respond for a few moments. I can tell that Jake notices my reaction, because he also sits quietly. Once I have processed what he just said, I have to clarify. Even though I am certain what that means, I have to hear it from him.

"So you are saying that Marcus Eaton is your father?" I say, more a statement than a question.

"Yep. And from the look on your face, I can tell that you know him." I slowly nod in reply.

"Did you know him well?" Another nod from me.

"What do you think of him?" He asks. I sigh lightly, not sure how I should answer.

"That is a very complicated question." I finally say. "He has never been one of my favorite people."

"That sounds like a very diplomatic answer... how about you tell me how you really feel about him."

"Are you sure you really want to know?" I ask.

"I really do. It's not like I have any positive perceptions of him at this point anyway."

"Ok, if you must know the truth, I can't stand Marcus."

"Do you think you could tell me why?"

"There are so many reasons, some of which I don't think I can discuss. Just know that you did not miss out on anything, by not having him in your life growing up. I have known him for about 8 years, and honestly, that is about 8 years too long."

"What about his son, my brother, did you know him?" He asks. Again I just nod.

"Can you tell me about him? What is he like?"

"I can tell you that he is one of the best people that I have ever known. He is amazing!"

"Do you know where he went when he had his choosing? It would have probably been a year or two ago. Did he stay in Abnegation or transfer? Do you think it would be possible for me to get in touch with him? Can you tell me his name?" I sigh, knowing that this conversation is on the verge of going to far and I need to stop before I say too much.

"Jake, the thing is, I know everything that you are asking me. But it is not my place to give out that information. I don't know what he would want me to share."

"I understand, I guess. Can you tell me one thing though?" He asks, timidly.

"I guess it depends on what you want to know." I shrug.

"Does he even know that my sister and I exist?"

"I can say, with 100% certainty, that he does not know."

"I just wish that I could get to know him... even just meet him once." He sighs.

"Ok, I can so something for you. I can try to get in touch with him." I say, trying to avoid it becoming obvious that he is here in Dauntless. "It may take some time to get a message to him, but I can try. Then, if he decides that he would like to meet the two of you, I will set it up."

"Are you sure, Tris? I don't want to cause you trouble."

"I am sure. I don't want you to get your hopes up, though. It may not be easy to set all this up. But I will try. Ok?"

"That is more than ok. That is beyond amazing. Thank you Tris!"

"You are welcome." We sit in awkward silence for a bit before I stand. "Well, I think it is about time for me to head out. I am supposed to meet my friend for drinks, and I am already late. She will have my head if I am much later."

"Have a great night. And Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks again. You have no idea what this means to me."

I turn and walk away. Once I get out the door, I take off running. I am not meeting anyone for drinks, I just needed an excuse to get out of there, and fast. I don't know what to do, and there is no one that I can talk to about this. I would talk to Christina, but that would mean revealing too much information about Tobias and I can't betray him like that. The only other person I could talk to would be Zeke, and I don't think it is my place to tell him. The only person I can talk to is T.J. Now I just need to find the right way to tell him.

I head straight to the apartment, not sure how to act when I see him. I unlock the door and step inside, sighing in relief when I don't immediately see him. Then I see a note on the table.

Tris,

I hope you had a good day with your job shadows. We can talk about them tomorrow. Zeke is forcing me to go out with him to the club tonight, so I will likely be out late. Don't try and wait up for me. You take the bed and I will sleep on the couch. See you in the morning.

P.S. If Christina is staying again tonight, tell her the cake in the fridge is off limits.

Four

I am actually relieved that he is out tonight. I just need more time to figure out what to say to him. I know that I can't wait to talk to him about it, it is already eating me up inside to know this. I need a plan. I need to figure out what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. I spend the next couple hours rehearsing what I am going to say to him. I am trying to figure out how he may react and plan my responses accordingly. I pace so much, I am afraid I may wear a path in the floor.

Finally at nearly 1 am I flop down on the couch, to relax a bit and watch TV. The next thing I know I am waking up to the sound of the door opening and quietly closing. I open my eyes a bit, to see T.J. standing in front of me.

"I thought I said for you to take the bed and I will sleep on the couch." He says, smiling.

"I guess I fell asleep watching TV." I manage to say, still half asleep.

"Well, lets get you to bed." He easily scoops me up in his arms and lays me gently on the bed. I instantly curl up on my side, loving the comfort of his soft bed.

"Tobias, I need to talk to you about something." I say, not quite managing to keep my eyes open.

"Can it wait until morning? You look so tired."

"I guess it can wait."

"Ok, sleep tight." He pulls the blanket up over me and kisses me on the cheek. He turns to walk away and I grab his hand.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch, you know. There is plenty of room here."

"Are you sure? I don't want to crowd you." I pull back the blanket, opening up the space behind me.

"I'll be right back."

He grabs some clothes out of his dresser and heads to the bathroom. I am nearly asleep when he comes back a few minutes later and slips into the bed behind me. He leans in and kisses me gently just between my neck and shoulder and whispers "Good Night." I am too far gone to reply. I can't help but think that this feels right, and that the only thing that would make it better would be if I was falling asleep wrapped in his arms.


	43. Revelations

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Another day, another chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Tobias

I wake up, still exhausted, and roll over to see Tris sleeping peacefully on her side of the bed. I find it funny that she suddenly has her own side of my bed. I look at the clock and see that it is only 7 am, and since I don't have anywhere to be today, I decide to sleep in. It was a long night and I am going to take advantage of every minute of sleep I can. I roll back over to go back to sleep and as I do I can't help but wish that it could always be this way. There is just something spectacular about waking up next to her. I have to push that out of my head. After all we both agreed a couple weeks ago, that we are friends, and should leave it at that. But something deep inside of me knows that is not enough, I want more.

When I wake up again, I see that it is almost 11 am and Tris is no longer in bed. I get up to look for her and see her at the bathroom mirror applying makeup to her bruises. The marks are fading, but she is still self conscious about them and is keeping them covered until they are gone.

"Good morning, sleepy head." She says brightly. "Give me just a minute and you can have the bathroom."

"How long have you been up?"

"For a couple hours."

"You should have woken me up."

"You looked like you needed the sleep, besides, neither of us have anywhere to be this morning." She finishes her makeup, cleans up the counter, then steps aside for me to enter. "All yours."

"Thanks, I think I am going to take a quick shower."

"Ok, I left breakfast on the table for you. I was going to wait but got too hungry."

I take my shower, and get dressed quickly, wanting to talk to Tris about the events of yesterday morning. I know that she is aware of what happened, but I want to make sure that she is ok. When I get out of the bathroom, I grab a muffin off the table and head to join Tris on the couch. She is sitting quietly, reading a book, and slides over a bit to make room for me. I sit, eating my food while I decide exactly how to start this conversation.

"So do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"Talk about...?"

"About what happened yesterday. About the things you found out about."

"Oh, you know about that?"

"Yes, I heard about it when I got to work, but I couldn't go see Zeke until after lunch."

"Oh that is what you are talking about."

"Yeah." I say confused. "What else would I be talking about."

"Nothing... nothing." She says. I wonder what she could possibly be talking about.

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, by the way, your note said you were going to the club with Zeke. Isn't he still in the infirmary?"

"I left that before I found out what happened and didn't have time to come back home and change it."

"So what did you end up doing last night?"

"Well, they ended up releasing Zeke at about 9, so I picked him up and took him to his apartment. Then he asked me to stay and hang out with him for a while. We ended up watching movies until late."

"So he is doing ok?"

"He is ok, still in some pain, but he has some medication that helps with that. He should heal just fine."

"Did they say how long it is going to be until he is back to normal?"

"The doctors said that it could take about 10 - 12 weeks. Speaking of doctors, I hear that you are most likely NOT going to become one of those." I laugh.

"So they told you about my little... episode, I see." She blushes.

"They sure did!"

"Well you try seeing the inside of someone's shoulder and see how well you feel."

"At least you now know that an infirmary position is not the right fit for you."

"You have got that right!"

"So, do you want to talk about what happened? About what he did, or tried to do." I say putting my hand on her knee gently.

"I just don't even know what to say. I still feel guilty, and before you start telling me that there is nothing to feel guilty for, I know. Carolina, the nurse I was with yesterday, and even Al himself told me that this is not my fault. But, I can't help but feel like, if I had been more willing to forgive him, this may not have happened."

"But that's the thing, Tris. Maybe it would not have happened yesterday, but it still may have happened. And maybe there wouldn't have been someone there to save his life. Al is suffering from severe depression, and who knows what could have triggered it in the future."

"Did you see him?" She asks. I nod in reply.

"I actually just missed you. Al told me that you were with him for quite a few hours."

"I really wanted him to know that he is not alone, that he still has friends. I wanted him to know that, even though I don't know what it's like to go through what he has, I want to try to help him through it."

"That is something that I love about you Tris. Even though he caused you so much pain, both physically and emotionally, you are still there for him when he needs it. You have the right to never want to speak to him again, but no, you take the time to listen to his problems."

"It's just that, when I heard about his past... it made me think about... it was kind of like..." She trails off.

"Like me?" I say and she simply nods. "I know. I talked to him about that a little bit."

"How is it possible that two people, who have gone through such similar childhoods, can turn out so differently. You were both abused. But you are so strong."

"Honestly, I think there are a lot of factors in that. For one thing, he probably has a pre-disposition towards depression. But for me, I really think that there was one thing in my life that helped me get through it all as well as I did. One thing that I had growing up, that Al did not."

"And that is?" She asks.

"You." I say simply.

She does not reply but smiles as a single tear slides down her cheek. I reach over and brush it away with my thumb and she leans her face into my palm. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in tightly. Neither of us even needs to say it, but we both know that this conversation is over for now. We sit and watch TV until about 12:30 when I hear her stomach rumble.

"Hungry?"

"A bit I guess." Another rumble makes her laugh. "Ok, more than a bit.

"Let's go get lunch." I stand and pull her to her feet.

"Sounds good, but after that can we come back here? There are some things that I want to talk to you about."

"Sure, let's go."

When we get to the dining hall, I see that Christina, Will, Uriah, Marlene, and Shauna are there already and the normal table. It is sort of funny, but in the last few weeks, these people have become my friends. I never would have expected to become friends with my initiates, but I think I owe that in part to Tris. We both grab our food and join them. They are talking about what happened with Al yesterday, and I see Tris visibly tense up. I casually grab her knee under the table and gently squeeze and she smiles slightly. I catch Christina's eye and nod a little in Tris' direction. She seems to understand what I am trying to tell her, and she manages to change the subject.

Once lunch is over, I tell Tris that I will meet her back at home and she heads out ahead of me. I run to the market, pick up a few things, and drop them off at Zeke's apartment. Uriah is there when I arrive and lets me know that Zeke had to take some of his pain killers, and is now sound asleep. I help Uriah put the stuff I picked up away, and ask him to call me if they need any help.

When I get back to the apartment I see Tris pacing by the windows. I can tell that she didn't notice me arrive, because she keeps pacing. I know that there is something wrong, because she only does this when she is really nervous.

"Hey." I say. She jumps, startled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine."

"Tris... what's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing." She stammers.

"Tris, I have known you for half of your life, I can tell just looking at you that something is wrong. Please just talk to me about it. Is this about Al?"

"No."

"Is it about Zeke, because he is doing fine."

"That's not it." She says.

"Is it about the Fear Landscape? Because if it is, it will be ok. As soon an they get the new machine installed, I will take you to practice. I promise it will be fine, you are going to do just fine." I cross the room and turn her to face me.

"That's not it." She says quietly.

"Then what is it? Tris, you know you can tell me anything. What is this about?"

"It's... about... you." She nearly whispers.

"Me? What about me?" I am thoroughly confused now.

"Can we sit down and talk for a minute?" She asks. We head to the couch and sit facing each other. "Ok, so last night I had my job shadow in the maintenance department."

"Right... and?"

"Well I met this guy, actually I re-met him, since I actually met him the night we went to the dance club." My mind starts reeling and I am suddenly feeling all sorts of emotions. Is she really telling me that she met someone. Is she going to say that she is dating him now. I am overwhelmed by the jealousy that I am feeling at this moment. I think I may have zoned out for a moment, because the next thing I know, she is saying my name loudly.

"Tobias!" She says.

"Oh, sorry Tris, I guess I left for a moment. Go on. You said that you met a guy last night." I say, keeping my voice neutral.

"Right, so his name is Jake and he is 19. He was my job shadow for the maintenance jobs. Have you met him?"

"I don't think I have." I say, still not 100% sure where she is going with this.

"Well anyway, it was a slow night of work, so after we finished we went to the work room to talk about the job."

"Ok?" I say slowly.

"So while we were talking, we started talking about our families and other stuff. We talked about Caleb and his twin sister Lena. We talked about our parents. His mother died when he was 12 and he lived with his aunt after that."

"Tris, why are you telling me this?"

"Just let me get there. So anyway, I asked him about his father. He told me that he had never met his father before. I assumed that he had died before they were born but that is not the case. It seems that Jake's mother was seeing a man from another faction. This man was already married at the time and was cheating on his wife with her. He kept telling her that he was going to leave his wife and find a way for them to be together as a family and raise the twins. Then he suddenly disappeared and never made contact with her again. She assumed that he died, and mourned for him for a long time. She even chose to give the twins his last name instead of her own. Well, she found out a couple years later, that he was still alive, still married, and had a new baby with his wife. He never saw any of them again, never met his own children, never even tried to be a part of their lives. So when their mother died, Jake and Lena lived with their aunt instead of trying to get in touch with him."

"Tris, that is an interesting story, but I still don't understand how this has anything to do with me." I say, slightly exasperated.

"Well... the thing is... their father... is Marcus. You have an older brother and sister, and they live here in Dauntless." I can't respond. I am too shocked to even form words at this moment. Tris leans forward and takes my hand in hers. She waits a few moments before continuing.

"He knows that I came from Abnegation and could tell that I know who Marcus is. He even asked me questions about him. I didn't tell him much, just that he was not a good man and that they didn't miss out on anything by not having him in their lives. He also asked if I knew you. I told him that I did, but did not let him know that you are here, or even your name. He wants to meet you T.J. He said that he has always wished that he could meet his "little brother", though I am guessing you are about an inch taller than him." She laughs. "Anyway, I told him that I would try and get a message to you, to see if you would like to meet him."

"Oh." Is all I manage to say.

"It is totally up to you. I wouldn't blame you if you decided you don't want to meet them. I can always say that I wasn't able to get in touch with you. But I though that you have the right to know that you have family here."

"How can we be sure that he is really my brother?"

"If you want to, I know that there are tests that can be run to check your DNA. But I believe him Tobias. He has your eyes, your smile, even your hair color."

"I just don't know what to think."

"I understand that. I nearly fell down when he told me his last name is Eaton."

"I need to think about this."

"Do you want to be alone? I could go for a while, even stay at Zeke's for the night and take care of him."

"Please don't. I really think I need you here. I just need to think. Ok?"

We spend the rest of the day together, silently. Neither of us even speaks another word. Tris picks up dinner and brings it back to the apartment, and we eat in silence. After dinner, we watch a movie, and neither of us even speaks before we climb into bed. I roll onto my side, facing away from her and turn off the lamp.

She leans over me, kisses me gently on the cheek and whispers "Good night."

"Good night Tris." I say, rolling to face her. "Thank you for telling me, and thank you for being here for me."

"Of course, I will ALWAYS be here for you. I love you." She scoots in closer and I pull her in to my arms tightly.

"I love you too." And, at that, I drift off to sleep.


	44. Friends

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

The "ship" is coming... it's just on the horizon! :) I know it is silly but, now that I have gone this far in, I want to wait for a certain chapter number for the "moment". We are nearly there. I hope you enjoy this filler in the mean time. I am hoping to add a bit of humor. And, I know, this is a way over-used game, but I think it will be helpful in getting some things going. I know that I missed my goal for getting a Sunday chapter done, so you will get two chapters today.

Tris

I wake up early, feeling more refreshed and well-rested than I have in ages. I can't help but attribute my good night of sleep to being wrapped in Tobias' arms. When I woke up, his arms were still wrapped tightly around my waist, and my head was nestled in by his neck. He was still sound asleep when I looked up at him, and it was all I could do, to keep myself from kissing him right then.

I can't seem to get past these feelings whenever I look at him. But I know that I have to get myself under control. We both decided that we needed to "just be friends", but it is getting harder day by day. I don't know if he feels the same way. Some times it seems like his actions towards me are changing, growing closer and more affectionate. But, at other times, it is back to friends as usual. This is all so confusing!

I lay there, enjoying his embrace, until he too wakes up. We both get ready and head to the dining hall for breakfast. Christina is there with Will and tells us that Uriah just left after picking up breakfast for Zeke. He said that Zeke wants all of his friends to come over tonight to hang out, since he is still not up to leaving the apartment.

He said that we are going to have a game night. I am not so sure about this, since in Abnegation we did not ever play games. I ask what types of games that they are planning to play and they list off a bunch of games, all of which I have never heard of. I must look completely lost because Christina looks at me and starts explaining what each game is.

I Never - Each person takes a turn listing off something that they have never done, and anyone else in the group that has done that, has to take a shot. That sounds interesting, and since I have not done that much of interest in my life, it doesn't seem like I am likely to get drunk.

Two Truths and a Lie - We each say three statements, two that are true and one lie, and the others have to guess which is the lie. If I get a vote in this, I say this game is out, since Christina is basically a human lie detector.

Candor or Dauntless - You have to pick between the two, answering a question for Candor or completing a dare for Dauntless. If you fail to complete which ever you choose, you lose a piece of clothing. Oh boy, this sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Zeke wants everyone there at 6pm so, after some major coercion from Christina, I agree to go. I feel like I haven't spent much time with her lately anyway and it will be nice to have an evening just to have fun. Tobias, on the other hand, does not seem at all enthused about this idea.

"Do you really think that I want to spend the whole night playing silly games?" He says, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, it is your friend that wants to do this. You know, your best friend who is currently recovering from surgery, and just wants a night of fun." Christina starts. I can tell that this is not going to go well for T.J. "You know your friend who just risked his life to save someone else. Your friend who..." She is cut off before she can continue.

"Enough Christina!" He snaps.

"Sorry, Four! I just though I would remind you who this is all for after all." She snaps back. He gives her a pointed look and I can see that she shrinks back a bit. He is really good at the intimidating stare.

"Sorry." She says, genuinely this time. "I guess I got a little carried away."

"Yeah, you did. But I will let it slide... this time."

"So, are you going to go?" She says timidly.

"I will go, for Zeke, but I make no promises that I will stay long or play any games."

"Hey, I just said that I would try to get you all there, I never said I would be able to get you to have fun. So, Tris, you and I are going shopping today. You need some new stuff!"

"Seriously, Chris? Why is it that you always think I need new stuff?" I grumble.

"Because you do." She shrugs. "Now don't bother fighting me on this, because you know that I will win, and there is no point in wasting either of our time."

"Fine." I huff.

"Good girl." She says, patting me on the arm. I promptly swat her hand away. "Dang, that stings."

"You should see what I can do when I really try." I grin.

"I don't think that I want to experience that. I saw what you did to Peter." She chuckles. "So here is the plan, meet me here for lunch at 12:30, and we will go shopping. Then I can get you ready and we will go together."

"Fine." I sigh, even though I am looking forward to some time alone with Christina.

Christina and Will head out, leaving Tobias alone at the table. We finish our meals quickly and I head back to the apartment, while he goes... somewhere. When he gets back home an hour later, he tells me that he went to see Zeke, to get out of going to the party tonight. Zeke was not having any of his excuses though.

"Can you tell me why you are so against going?" I ask.

"It is just strange. Most of the people going are my initiates and that just seems awkward." He replies.

"You do know that I am an initiate too, and you spend a lot of time with me." I grin.

"Come on, Tris, you know that is different!"

"Do you know will be there?" I ask.

"According to Zeke, he and Uriah invited Shauna, Marlene, Lynn, you, Christina, Will, and me."

"That doesn't sound too bad. You know them all, you have been having meals with them for weeks now. It will be fun... I hope." I laugh.

"This is just not something that I have ever done before."

"Fun? That makes two of us. Two "stiffs" not even sure how to go to a party with friends."

"That is another thing. Other than you and Zeke, I have never really had friends. You at least had some in Abnegation."

"Well, I think it is about time that you open yourself up to the idea of having friends in your life. It's not like it was in Abnegation, we are free to enjoy life here. We can have friends and enjoy spending time with them. Our whole lives don't have to be based on other people's rules."

"This is just all new to me. You know that I am a private person."

"I get that, and this is new to me too. But we both have to try. We need to break out of our shells and try something new. As tempting as it is to hole up in this apartment night after night, we both know, that is not a complete life. And as far as your privacy, you don't have to reveal any more that you are comfortable with, but I feel like these people can be trusted. Look how much they have been there for me." I say.

"Sometimes I wish that you weren't so good at getting me to do what you want." He chuckles.

"What can I say, it is a skill I have refined over the years." I grin. I look at the clock and see that it is 10:30 am. "I think I am going take a nap. I am quite certain that Christina is going to run me ragged this afternoon, and I will need all the energy I can muster."

I head to the bed and climb in, while Tobias settles in on the couch with a book. I don't think it even takes me 5 minutes and I am sound asleep. The next thing I know, I am being shaken softly. I wake up to see T.J. standing above me grinning widely. He tells me that it is 12:15 and I should get up to head to lunch. He is going to pick up food for Zeke and eat with him. We head to the dining hall and get in line for our food. I am starting to wonder if people are noticing that he and I seem to arrive together a lot. I am worried that people might start to wonder, but at the same time, I don't really care. I sit down to eat with Christina and he leaves.

We spend the next 4 hours, going to store after store. I am pretty sure that I have never owned this much clothing in my entire life. In the end I am exhausted, but to be honest, I had fun. Not really the shopping, but spending the time with her, was great. She, by her very nature, is so fun and energetic that it is contagious. When we get back to the apartment, Tobias is not there, so I am guessing that he just decided to spend the whole afternoon with Zeke.

Christina then sets her sights on getting us both ready. In a flurry of black fabric, she digs through the MANY bags of our purchases, and then hands me a stack of clothing to put on. She grabs some clothes for herself and starts to change, right in the middle of the apartment. I, on the other hand, head to the bathroom to change. I feel like I am wearing an awkwardly large number of clothing pieces, but since I know one of the games they want to play may involve removing some of it, I am glad.

She has outfitted me in the following. On top I have a lacy black bra, a black camisole, black tank top, black t-shirt with sequins, and a short black leather jacket. Then I have on underwear that match the bra, black bicycle shorts, and black jeans. I insist on wearing my boots, instead of a pair of heels, reminding her of what happened the last time she made me wear heels. All in all, I am pretty pleased with my outfit, mainly because I have a lot of clothing that I can remove and still be well covered. Christina doesn't have on quite as many layers, but then again, she is very comfortable with people seeing her in next to nothing. She never had a problem changing in the middle of the dorm, me on the other hand, hid in a shower stall half the time.

Then she does both of our hair and makeup. All in all I am pleased with the results. She is like a magician with makeup, she takes my plain, simple face and transforms it into something bordering on pretty. She, on the other hand, looks stunning. I insist on cleaning everything up before we leave, resulting in us running about 20 minutes late, and Christina getting annoyed. When I am finally done, we head to Zeke's apartment and knock on the door. A few moments later Uriah opens the door with a devilish look on his face. Oh, no! What is he going to do?


	45. The Games We Play

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Chapter 45, so you know what that means comes next... chapter 46. :) Stealing a couple lines of text again. On with game night! Candor or... Candor, anyone?

Tobias

I decided to take lunch to Zeke, and afterwards, just decide to stick around until the party. Maybe, if I am there when it starts, I can slip out early. I know that I agreed to try hanging out and opening myself up to having friends, but this is not easy for me. As a child I was never allowed to have friends, and Marcus certainly never knew about Tris. He was always afraid that I would get into trouble and would embarrass him somehow, so my life consisted of school, work, chores, and unbeknownst to him, Tris. But I have made a friend in Zeke, and if he and Tris both trust this group of people, I guess I should give them a chance. Christina, as annoying as she is, has already proven that she can be trusted.

I help Zeke get setup for the party, since he only has the use of his left arm still, which consists of setting out snacks and LOTS of alcohol. Once we are done, we just watch TV until others start to arrive. Uriah and Marlene are the first to arrive. According to Zeke, they have started dating, so I am not surprised that they seem to be attached at the hip. Shauna and Lynn arrive next and Shauna gives Zeke a light peck on the lips. They have gotten a lot closer since he got hurt, and as mushy as it may seem, I think it's kind of cute. Will is there exactly at 6 pm, not unexpected since he was Erudite, and they are know for punctuality.

"I though you would have been with Christina and Tris." Uriah says.

"Nope. Chris decided to spend the afternoon with Tris. You know what that means... hours spent shopping, primping, and getting ready." Will shrugs.

"Can you call her to get her here?" Marlene asks.

"I tried. She never answers! I am sure that they will be here soon."

About 20-25 minutes later there is a gently knock at the door, followed immediately by a loud one. I can tell who each was from, just from the sound. Uriah jumps up to get to the door first, looking all too excited to be the one to answer. He throws the door wide open and then, before they have a chance to react, charges at them.

At first I have no idea what he's doing, but he bends over slightly and pushes his body between the two of them. In one quick motion, he somehow manages to throw both of them over his shoulders. I know that neither of them weigh very much, but the way he picks them both up, is actually kind of impressive. I laugh out loud when they both make a strange sound, half scream and half squeal, as he turns around and heads back into the room. They both squirm a little, but not enough to make his hold on them falter. From their laughing, I can tell that neither is trying too hard to get loose.

"Uriah Leroy Pedrad, you put us down now." Tris hollers, while smacking him hard on the butt.

"Hey, how did you know my middle name?" He says, still refusing to put them down.

"I will just say that a little birdy told me." She laughs.

"And I think I know just who that birdy is. A little birdy, who is lucky he is recovering from surgery right now, or his younger brother would have to beat the crap out of him."

"Good luck with that Uri." Zeke retorts. "I could take you down with my little finger."

"Just you wait, big brother! As soon as you are back in fighting shape, we will see who the tougher Pedrad is." Uriah says.

"I just hope your feelings are not hurt too much when I prove that it is me. Maybe you can run to mommy if you need to cry about it." Zeke laughs.

"Whatever you say Zeke, just so you know..." Uriah is cut off.

"Excuse me." Christina interrupts. "But, if you are planning to continue this brotherly show-down, do you think you could put us down first."

"Umm..." Uriah starts leaning forward to put them down, then stands back up. "No, I don't think I want to yet." He then starts spinning in a circle.

"Uriah, I swear if you make them throw up on my floor, you will have to clean it up yourself."

Uriah eventually stops spinning and places the girls back on their feet, all three of them slightly wobbly on their feet. We all grab some snacks and drinks and sit on the floor, nearly making a circle. I look around the group, Tris to my left, then Christina, Will, Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, Zeke, and Lynn on my right. I think to myself, that maybe it would be ok to be friends with these people.

"Ok, so what are we going to play first?" Lynn asks.

"How about... Two Truths and a Lie?" Shauna offers.

"I don't think that is a good idea." Tris pipes up.

"Why?" Shauna asks.

"Well, former Candor over here..." Tris says pointing at Christina. "... is basically a lie detector in human form. Kind of hard to get a lie past her."

"Right. Ok, that game is out. How about I Never?"

We all agree and Uriah gets a couple bottles and passes out shots to each of us. We take turns making statements, and some of them are quite funny.

Tris - "Never have I been in handcuffs." Uriah and Zeke both take a shot.

Will - "Ok Chris, Never have I kissed a guy romantically." All the girls take a shot.

Christina - "Never have I kissed a girl romantically." All the guys take a shot... also Lynn. A few of them look and Lynn and she shrugs.

Uriah - "Never have I broken a bone." A few shots are consumed.

Marlene - "Never have I taken Amity peace serum for fun." Zeke, Uriah, Shauna, and Lynn drink.

Shauna - "Never have I streaked." All but Tris and I take a shot.

Zeke - "Never have I kissed someone and regretted it." Chris, Will, Lynn, and Zeke take a shot.

Lynn - "Never have I peed in the rec center pool." Thankfully no one takes a shot.

My turn - "Never have I... gone on the zip line." Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, Lynn, and Tris take a shot.

This goes on for one more round until the others are frustrated that in 18 turns, Tris has only had two shots.

"Abnegation, remember." She says.

"Ok how about Candor or Dauntless?" Marlene asks.

"That sounds fun, but Zeke can't do many dares and I am too lazy." Uriah replies.

"Well how about Candor or Candor?" She grins.

"Come on, picking Candor is for pansycakes." He groans.

"And you are one, so this should be perfect for you." She gives him a light peck on the lips.

"Fine, but I get to start. Marlene, who in this room scares you the most and why?"

"I guess that would be Four, because dang it man, you can be intimidating at times." She says looking at me.

"Do you think that is accidental." I smirk.

"Ok, Four, what is your biggest fear?" I simply take off my jacket. Zeke laughs out loud.

"Zeke, my friend, What is your worst pickup line and what happened the last time you used it?"

"Really Four?"

"Yep."

"Fine it was "Did you hear that they are going to re-arrange the alphabet to put U and I together?" But come on Four, I told you I was 14 at the time!"

"Yeah, and what did she say?"

"She said that there was no point because n and o were already together."

"And?" I say.

"And that I better walk away before she put her fist and my face together. Dang it, Four, I thought we were friends." I shrug and he continues. "Um... Shauna, You said that you kissed someone and regretted it. Tell us all about it." He says with a grin."

"Not a problem. You see there is this guy named Zeke..." He looks stunned and she laughs. "Actually it was my first kiss, I was 15 and he was 17, just transferred from Erudite. He kissed me and it was terrible. Then after, he started spouting off facts about kissing and the germs that are passed back and forth. Totally did not make for a great first kiss. I often wonder if it is like that with all guys from Erudite."

"Nope! For sure not!" Christina pipes in. I see Will blush ever so slightly.

"Well, since we are speaking about first kisses," Shauna begins" I have a group question. I want each of you to tell me two things. First, how old were you when you had your first kiss? Then rate it from one to ten... ten being the best obviously. Lynn, you start, then around ending with Four."

Lynn - "I was 15 and I would say 7."

Zeke - "16 and I would say 5."

Shauna - "Like I said, I was 15, and it was a 1."

Marlene - "16 and it was an 8." Uriah gives her a look and she says, "Well if you wanted it to be a ten, you should have made sure that you didn't step on my toes."

Uriah - "16, and since she said 8, I will say 7." He says, smugly. She gives him a quick kiss and he says, "Ok, maybe a 9."

Will - "I was 15 and it was awful, maybe a 3."

Christina - "15 and I guess a 6."

Tris - "I was 14 and for a rating... 10." She nearly whispers but it is loud enough for all to hear.

My turn - "I was 16, and I think it was a ten. Ok who it next."

"Wait before we continue, I have to point out that out of all of us, it is the girl from Abnegation that was the youngest. I though you were not even allowed to kiss there."

"No one ever said I was a good Abnegation girl. Why do you think I transferred?" Tris replies. "Now can we get back to the game? I will go. Will, what made you choose Dauntless?"

"Well I got it in my Aptitude test, but more than that, I never fit in I Erudite. I was smart enough, but I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life studying. I wanted to actually enjoy life at times. Chris, What has been your most embarrassing fear in the simulations so far?" She whispers something so quietly that no one hears her.

"What was that?" Zeke asks. Again she answers, but no one can hear her.

"You have to say it so we can hear you." Lynn states.

"Fine! It was moths!" She shouts.

"Moths?" A few people exclaim.

"Moths," repeats Will. "You're afraid of moths?"

"Not just a cloud of moths," she says, "like...a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and..." She shudders and shakes her head.

"Terrifying," Will says with mock seriousness. "That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls."

"Oh, Shut up." She says, elbowing him in the gut. He takes her chin in his hand and kisses her gently.

The game goes on for about another hour, and everyone has revealed a lot of interesting information, but also lost a number of articles of clothing. Tris, is down to her shorts and camisole since she was too embarrassed to answer a number of questions. Only Uriah is fully dressed, that guy seems to have no shame. We decide to finish out the night with 3 more questions, and it is Uriah's turn to ask.

"Tris, you said your first kiss was at 14. I have a multi-part question and you need to tell me everything or you lose your shirt or shorts." Tris nods in reply. "First off where?"

"It was in Abnegation, in a place that we liked to sit and talk."

"Ok, next part, how old was he?"

"He was 16."

"Hmm, Tris going for the older man? So next question, did you kiss him ever again after that, or was it just once?"

"It was not just once." She is blushing more and more as she answers.

"Ok," Uriah continues. "You need to tell me who it was." Tris looks around the group for a moment, hesitantly, then reaches down and slowly starts pulling up the bottom of her shirt. She looks really afraid to take off this last piece of clothing that is covering her undergarments. I grab her hand, stilling her.

"Are you really going to make her do that, Uriah? She already answered part of it." I say.

"She agreed to it. So, yes, an answer or the shirt." Tris starts removing her shirt again.

"You can tell them if you want." I lean in a whisper subtly, so that only she can hear me. She stops.

"Are you sure? Then they will know that..." She also whispers, covering her mouth to block them from reading her lips.

"It's ok. Like you said I can trust these people and need to try to accept them as friends. I can at least let them know this one thing. But still not my name." I smile.

"Oh, Tris..." Uriah calls out. "You going to answer?" Tris pauses and takes a deep breath. She does not say a word, just points at me.

"Four?!" Is exclaimed by a few people. She nods. The only people that don't seem shocked are Zeke and Christina, since they both already knew that we have known each other for years.

"But wait, if you were 14 and in Abnegation, that means that Four is from..." Marlene says before I cut her off.

"Abnegation. Yes I transferred from Abnegation." I say. As much as it is unnerving to have this many people know, it is also kind of nice to let people know something private about me.

"Wow! Four, Dautless prodigy, the guy with the lowest number of fears in faction history... a former stiff?" Lynn says, in awe.

"Yes, but you all need to promise me that this information does not leave this group. Otherwise I may have to kill you." They all consent to this.

"So what does this mean? Are you two... you know... together?" Shauna asks.

"We are just friends now." Tris says, slightly emphasizing the word now.

"So what about..." Marlene starts and I interrupt.

"Can we please move on? I think it is Tris' turn to ask a question." I say, hoping to put an end to this conversation.

"Ok, for my last question, I will ask Lynn. I know that you are dating someone in the faction, I want to know who." At this, Lynn removes her shirt.

"So it looks like I get to end the game. Who to ask? Who... to... ask? I will go with Four. Now that we know where you came from, I will try this one more time. What is your real name?" My pants come off as fast as possible. They all groan and I just shrug.

Now that the game is over, we all begin putting all our discarded clothing back on and getting ready to leave. We get Zeke settled in for the night and since Uriah is going to stay with him, the rest of us leave together. We all walk to both dorm rooms since I want to be sure that my, slightly drunk initiates, make it back ok. After that, Shauna heads to her apartment and Tris and I head back to mine.

It is late, and I am tired enough to fall asleep right now, but I decide to take a quick shower before bed. I start getting undressed to get in when I hear Tris mutter something. I don't know if she is talking to me so I poke my head out the door.

"Did you say something to me?" I ask.

"No. I was just frustrated with myself. I just realized that I sent my laundry to be washed and I forgot to pick it up. I don't have any pajamas to sleep in."

"You can just sleep in your normal clothes." I say.

"I know, but they are not comfortable. Do you think I could borrow something to sleep in?"

"Yes, of course. Just look in the top middle drawer and you should find something that will work." I say as I close the bathroom door.

"Thanks T.J." She says.

"No problem. Oh and Tris, be careful..." I start, remembering that the drawer is a bit broken. Then I hear a crash. I peak out the door again and see her standing in front of the dresser, with the drawer completely out of the dresser, flipped upside-down at her feet. I laugh.

"Sorry, I think I pulled too hard." Says, sheepishly.

"No, it's ok, I was just about to warn you about that. Just leave it, I will take care of it when I get done in here."

I get in the shower and just stand there for a while, soaking in the heat. It has been an interesting couple of weeks and I am suddenly feeling exhausted.


	46. Pieces Of Our Past

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Here we go! I really hope you like the turn of events. I have been planning this for a while and hope you all like the way it plays out as much as I have liked writing it. Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments. I really do love reading them all. On with chapter 46!

Tris

When we get back to the apartment, Tobias decides to take a shower before bed and heads to the bathroom. I go to get our something to sleep in and suddenly remember that I don't have anything. I took my dirty laundry out to be washed and was supposed to pick it up today, but I forgot.

"Dang it, Tris!" I say to myself.

"Did you say something to me?" T.J. says, peeking out of the bathroom.

"No. I was just frustrated with myself. I just realized that I sent my laundry to be washed and I forgot to pick it up. I don't have any pajamas to sleep in."

"You can just sleep in your normal clothes." He says.

"I know, but they are not comfortable. Do you think I could borrow something to sleep in?" I grin.

"Yes, of course. Just look in the top middle drawer and you should find something that will work." He replies before closing the door again.

"Thanks T.J." I say as I walk to the dresser and start to pull open the middle drawer, but it is stuck. I try a second time... no luck. Determined not to lose to a dresser drawer, I put all my weight behind me and yank the handle as hard as I can. Just as I do, I hear him start talking again.

"No problem. Oh and Tris, be careful..." Is all he manages to say before the drawer gives way. Not only does it slide open, it comes completely out of the dresser, flips upside-down, and falls at my feet. I sigh, annoyed at the mess I just made and see the bathroom door open a crack. He sees me standing there with it at my feet and cracks up laughing.

"Sorry, I think I pulled too hard." I say, embarrassed.

"No, it's ok, I was just about to warn you about that. Just leave it, I will take care of it when I get done in here." He replies. Then I hear him turn on the shower.

I decide that I will take care of the mess myself instead of waiting for him to clean it up. I pick the drawer up off the top of the pile, flip it over and slide it part way into the dresser. I grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that, though too big, seem like they will not fall off of me and quickly change while I can still hear the shower running. Then I turn back to the pile of clothing and start folding anything that came undone and placing it in the drawer neatly. Thankfully almost everything is still folded and just needs to be put back.

When I get about halfway through the pile, I see what looks like a piece of paper sticking out. I move the clothes from the top of it and see that it is actually a stack of envelopes tied up with a piece of black ribbon. I instantly know what this is, as I recognize the handwriting on the envelope on top. I flip through the edges to peek at each one, and sure enough, I know where these came from. This is every single letter that I wrote to Tobias during the two years that we were apart.

I pick the envelopes up and clutch them tightly to my chest. Then I see another bit of paper sticking out of the pile and my curiosity gets the better of me. I remove the clothing that is covering it, and put it away while I am at it. What I see laying there both amazes and confuses me at once.

It is a pile of ivory colored paper clipped at the top with a small binder clip. On the top of the pile there is a beautiful sketch of a tree, the sketch is drawn in only grey and black pencil and there are no surroundings to identify it, but I know exactly what it is. I am not sure where this drawing came from, but I am certain of one thing, it is "our tree". This is the tree where T.J. and I spent countless hours together laughing and talking. It is where he gave me my raven necklace, the one token that was always with me, when he could not be. The tree, under which, he kissed me for the first time.

Hurriedly I put the rest of the clothing away and pick up the pile of papers carrying it and the letters with me as I cross the room to sit on the bed. I probably shouldn't be looking through this without his permission, but my hands seem to have a mind of there own, and remove the clip from the top. I am astonished as I look at each page. Each one contains a simple but beautiful picture, all clearly drawn by the same artist. Though I have never seen these before, I am sure that I know who drew these. So many of the images are of places that have meant a lot to Tobias and me.

There is a drawing of the orchards in Amity, showing the long rows of fruit bearing trees, ready to be harvested. There is one of the book store in Erudite, with shelf after shelf of books stacked high to the ceiling. There is one at the small rock formation at the edge of Candor, where we climbed to see the beautiful view. There is one of the entrance to the movie theater here in Dauntless. There are many that I can recognize from Abnegation. The pond where we learned to swim, more of the Willow tree, and other various places in the faction that we would meet. And in every single picture, there is one constant element drawn, me. I look different in each, the pictures spanning the years that we have known each other, but they are all clearly me.

There are also drawings of specific events with us together, events so engrained in my mind, that I recognize them immediately. The first time we met, the first time we jumped on the train, the time I snuck into his house while he was sick, his choosing ceremony, him leaving Abnegation, and other childhood memories. I also see images of me landing in the net, throwing knives, at the punching bag, fighting Peter in the ring, asleep on the couch here, curled up in his arms in bed, as well as others. This is basically our relationship from the very beginning until now, little pieces of our past, brought together by his talented hands. I can't believe that I never knew that he was capable of drawing so beautifully!

I don't get a chance to finish looking through the stack, before I hear the bathroom door creak open and see Tobias walking out. He looks at the dresser and notices that I have already cleaned it all up.

"Thanks for cleaning it up, but you didn't have to." He grins.

"I know but..." I say, my voice wavering a bit from the overwhelming emotions coursing through me at the moment.

"Hey, Tris, what's wrong?" He asks with a concerned look.

"Nothing is wrong." I say, truthfully. "Absolutely nothing is wrong now."

"Then why do you look so... shaken up?" He crosses the room and walks up to the bed. He sees the letters and drawings and stops just short of the bed. "I forgot that those were in there."

"I am sorry." I am now worried that he will be upset at this invasion of his privacy. "I was cleaning up the mess that I made and I found them. I shouldn't have looked but I don't know... I could help myself. Are you mad?"

"Tris, honey, of course I am not mad." He sits on the edge of the bed. "I just wasn't prepared to show anyone those things. They are really not very good."

"Tobias James Eaton!" I nearly yell, startling him. "Don't you dare say that. These are the most amazing things that I have ever seen. How is it that I never knew you could do this?"

"No one did. I have NEVER shown a single person anything I have drawn. I never felt there was a point."

"Are you ok with the fact that I have seen them now?" I ask.

"You are the only person in the world that I would want to see." He smiles.

"Can I look at the rest?"

"If you want to."

I slowly look through the rest of the papers, looking at images of flowers, animals, buildings in Abnegation. Then I come to the last drawing in the pile. It is an image of a beautiful woman. She is sitting on a bench with a little boy, who looks no older than 3, sitting on her lap. She is holding a book in her hands and it appears that she is reading to him. After staring at it for a long time, I lift my eyes to his and see a single tear roll down his cheek.

"That's my mother." He says quietly. "When I was little, as soon as Marcus left for work, she would pull out her book of fairytales and read to me. She did this nearly everyday until the day she died. I still have the book."

"She was beautiful." I say, taking his hand.

"She was. I can't believe how much I still miss her. I just wish... never mind." He trails off.

"You wish what?"

"I just wish... that she could have met you." He says with a sad smile.

"I wish so too." I turn my attention to the pile of letters and pick them up, gently flipping the stack through my fingers. "I can't believe you still have all these."

"I couldn't stand the idea of getting rid of them. Since we never managed to see each other after I left, they were my only connection to you. I know it may seem silly but..." I don't let him finish before I jump up, off the bed and run across the room. I grab my bag, pull out a wooden box, climb back up on the bed, and hand it to him.

"What is this?" He asks.

"Just open it." I say. He lifts the lid and takes out my stack of letters. The ones that he sent to me.

"You kept them." He grins.

"I couldn't stand the idea of getting rid of them." I repeating his statement back to him.

He reaches over and picks up his bundle of envelopes and holds one stack in each hand. He smiles as he gently places both in the wooden box and closes the lid. He then gets up and puts the box on his dresser. He turns and faces me as I sit, carefully stacking all of his drawings neatly. Then, as I am trying to place the clip on them, one page slips out and falls to the floor. I hop up to retrieve it and, as I do, I see a drawing that I missed before.

The picture shows Tobias and I standing under the Willow tree. This is not just any moment under the tree like in other drawings, this is THE moment. He has drawn the moment of our first kiss. Every last detail is accounted for, the raven necklace that he gave me, the pocket watch I gave him, even down to the strands of hair that had slipped from my bun. It is so beautiful that I have to sit down. It is by far the most detailed drawing of them all. While most of them are quick sketches in black and grey pencil, this one is full color and must have taken many hours to complete.

"This one." I say, holding it up for him to see. "Why is it so different?"

"Because it's the best." He says simply.

"Your best drawing?" I say as I carefully reattach it to the stack of drawings and lay it on the bedside table.

"It's the best moment... of my entire life."

Before I even realize what I am doing, I launch myself off of the bed, run across the room, and fling myself into his arms. He is not prepared for this, and nearly falls, but manages to stay on his feet. He hugs me fiercely, lifting me off my feet, and holds me steadily against his strong chest while I wrap my legs around his waist. I look up into the deep blue of his eyes and suddenly I feel weak. Not physically weak; right now I feel like I could move a mountain if I tried. This weakness is deeper. This is me, no longer able to hold back from what I really want to do the most. No longer able to pretend that I am still ok with just being his friend.

I reach up, tangling my fingers in his hair, and bring his face to mine. The moment our lips meet, I realize that this is what I have been missing. This is nothing like the last time we kissed. That was the awkward, forced kiss of two people who had been apart too long. Two people who needed to discover who the other was again. Two people who needed to grow back together. But it also isn't like our first kiss, even as amazing and perfect as it was. This kiss is far beyond anything that I could have even imagined. This kiss is electric, powerful, romantic, and passionate. It's as if I can feel it in every inch of my being, making me tingle from head to toe. This kiss is like fire, and I am all too happy to let it consume me.

Our lips are still connected and I am still in his arms, as he crosses the room and sits on the couch, neither of us willing to break the connection. Inevitably, the kiss must end. When we part, he leans back slightly to look me in the eyes and smiles slyly.

"What are you thinking?" I laugh.

"Nothing." He smirks.

"T.J., you better tell me."

"Ok, I was thinking about how long I have been thinking about doing that."

"You've been thinking about it?" I blush. "Me too."

"But I thought that you just wanted to be friends... like we agreed, so I didn't do anything."

"I thought that would have been better for us... at first. But over the last two weeks... I don't know, I guess something just changed." I say. He nods. "I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship, but it was becoming more and more clear that friendship was just not enough."

"Oh Tris, honey, you have no idea." He laughs before kissing me gently.

"Honey?" I grin.

"I think it works. No good?" He says.

"Hmm... I think... I will allow it."

"You will allow it?" He says with a laugh. I nod.

He begins tickling me. I squirm, unable to really move much since my legs are wrapped around him, trapped between him and the couch. He keeps this up for a minute until I manage to catch him by both wrists and still his hands. He then leans in for a long, slow, lingering kiss. When we separate, I sigh and he chuckles a bit.

"What now?" I say in mock annoyance.

"I don't think I want to tell you."

"You better." I say, crossing my arms between us.

"Nah, I think I would rather do this." He says, leaning in to kiss me again. I lean back as far as I can, getting just out of his reach.

"Not until you tell me what is so funny."

"Seriously?" He pouts.

"Seriously!"

"OK, I was just thinking about all the times lately that I have seen you with someone else and been horribly jealous."

"Jealous... over me? Like when?" I ask.

"You want an example?" I simply nod in response. "Ok, like the night we all went to the dance club and I saw you on the dance floor with Zeke. Or when you were telling me about meeting Jake for your maintenance shadow and I thought you were telling me you were dating someone. Or the dozen other times that I saw you talking to some random guy that had been checking you out."

"Nobody has been checking me out. There's not much to look at." I laugh.

"Honey, you have no idea how incredibly beautiful you are."

"We both know that I am not pretty." I sigh.

"You are so far beyond pretty, that pretty is just a speck on the horizon. You are breathtakingly, earth shatteringly, mind numbingly beautiful. And yes, there have been many guys checking you out. You just never noticed. Now, I told you. May I?"

I nod in answer to his request and lean back towards him for another kiss. We spend the next hour this way, me wrapped around him, resting in his embrace. We sit, talking, laughing, and kissing, until my eyes are drooping, heavy with the need to sleep. When he sees this, he takes my legs from around his waits, turns me sideways on his lap, scoops me up in his arms, and carries me to the bed.

He lays me softly on my side of the bed and leans in for a kiss before pulling the blankets up over me. He walks around to the other side and slips into the bed. I turn to face him and he pulls me closer to him. I curl into him, resting my head in that wonderful spot between his shoulder and neck that I have come to love so much. He wraps his arms around me and I am instantly more comfortable than I have ever been. It is as if we were both designed to fit together this way. I look up at him and he kisses me gently on my forehead, my eye lids, my cheeks, my nose, my chin, then finally landing on my lips.

"Tobias?" I say.

"Yes?"

"I love you Tobias." I whisper.

"I love you too Beatrice." He replies.

"Good night." I say, barely able to stay awake. And just before I drift off the sleep I hear him reply.

"Good night, my love."


	47. Just Between Friends

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Sorry it has taken me so long to post. I kind of ran into a "what now?" situation and didn't know what to write next. I have stuff planned for later but getting there is proving to be a challenge. To answer the question posed to me in the comments about whether or not Tris and Tobias would have sex, yes they will. However, it will not be right away and it will not be graphic. I don't write M material and have no plans to change that any time soon. On with the chapter.

Tobias

I wake up to the annoying beeping of my alarm clock and blindly smack at it behind me to shut it off. I look at Tris resting snugly in my arms, and smile to myself, relieved that last night was not just a dream. I don't want to get out of my warm, comfy bed, but have to be in a meeting in two hours.

"Tris." I whisper, kissing her on the forehead. She groans in response and curls in closer to my chest.

"We need to get up, honey."

"Maybe later." She pulls her face to mine and kisses me sweetly.

"As much as I would like to stay here and do this all morning, I have a meeting and you are due to shadow Max at 9."

"You are no fun this morning." She laughs, pulling me in for a long, slow kiss. Then, out of nowhere, she jumps up off the bed and runs to the bathroom.

"I get dibs on the bathroom." She shouts, shutting the door behind her.

I hear her turn on the shower and decided to throw some breakfast together while she is in there. I whip up some batter and plug in the waffle iron to get it heating up. While I am waiting, I get dressed, set the table, and pull out everything else I want to serve for breakfast. By the time she is out of the shower and dressed I have everything all ready and waiting for her.

Tris

As soon as I step out of the bathroom I am overwhelmed by an amazing aroma. I see Tobias sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me, with breakfast laid out. I can't help but smile and think about how much I love this man. I walk up behind him, wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him gently right behind the ear. I sit down to eat, but am not quite sure what it is that he has prepared. He must see the confusion on my face and decides to let me know what is in front of me.

"Belgian Waffles, strawberry sauce, and whipped cream." He says.

He then places one on my plate, covers it with sticky strawberry sauce, and a dollop of whipped cream. I cut a small bite and as soon as I place it in my mouth, it's like I am in heaven. The waffle is crispy and chewy, and the toppings make it sweet and decedent. This is literally the best breakfast I have ever eaten. I sigh, contented.

"Good, huh?" He says.

"This is far beyond good!" I say, shoveling another bite into my mouth. "But I think you might have a bit of a problem."

"What?" He looks confused.

"Well, now that you have completely spoiled me with this luxury, you will just have to keep it up. I am thinking a home cooked breakfast everyday sounds about right to me." I grin while popping another bite into my mouth.

"We will just have to see about that." He leans towards me and gives me a light peck on the lips, leaving him with a bit of strawberry sauce on his lips. I happily take care of removing it from his lips, with my own.

"So, I know that you have a job shadow at 9 with Max, but what are you planning for the rest of the day?" He asks.

"Well, I was planning to meet Chris for lunch and then she wanted to come back here and hang out for the rest of the afternoon. Zeke is still off of work but wants to get out of his apartment, so he was planning to join us here. Is that OK with you?"

"Of course it's fine with me. I have 2 shadow sessions today and have a meeting with Lauren at 4 about stage 3. Do you want to meet me in the dining hall at about 5:30 for dinner?"

"That works for me. I will probably still be with Zeke and Chris." I say.

"Speaking of them... are you planning to tell anyone about... well... us?" He says, hesitantly.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I think maybe it would be best to keep it private until after initiation is done, but at the same time, I don't really want to keep it from our friends. I think we can trust them." I respond and he shrugs. "How about this... we only tell Christina and Zeke, since we spend the most time with them anyway, and the others can figure it out later?"

"Works for me."

"Good, because I will be with Christina all afternoon, and you know her Candor trained eyes will know that something is up." I laugh.

"Well, I will see Zeke before lunch so I will go ahead and talk to him."

We finish our meal and I get ready quickly. I apply a little makeup, since I still have some bruising, but it is fading fast and soon will not be noticeable at all. Before we walk out the door I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, soaking in his warmth, knowing that once we leave the apartment, all physical affection is on hold. He leans down to kiss me and it is magical. I sigh a bit when we pull apart.

"What?" He asks.

"I was just thinking about... it's silly." I hold back from saying what I am really thinking.

"Come one, Tris." He says, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"I was just thinking that it was such a waste." I grin.

"What was a waste?" He looks confused.

"All that time... those weeks... that I have spent, NOT kissing you. Such a waste." I laugh.

"Well, we will just have to make up for that, won't we?" He lifts me from the floor, gently kissing the side of my neck. Then he gives me a light peck on the lips before speaking again. "I wouldn't mind kissing your lips everyday."

"I think I will plan on holding you to that." I smile. Another quick kiss on the lips before we both turn to leave the apartment.

Tobias

I head to my morning meeting, and am really only half paying attention to anything that is said. I am too distracted, to focused on the events of last night and this morning. It is kind of overwhelming when I think about finally being able to be with the love of my life, and not having to hide. After initiation is over, I can finally be with her as much as we want.

Then I realize that, after initiation, she will be given her own apartment and I won't get to sleep with her in my arms every night. Well, that is not going to work for me. I make a mental note to talk to her later and see if she would like to live with me. It's a big step, considering we have only officially been together since last night. But, for me, it is only natural. I have been in love with Tris Prior since I was ten years old.

After the meeting is done, I have my first job shadow with me, and it happens to be Uriah. I spend the next two hours explaining the different duties of training the initiates, the paperwork I have to complete, the simulation process, as well as changes to initiation that I am planning for next year. After that, I head to Zeke's apartment. I don't bother to knock, and see Zeke asleep on the couch when I walk in. I am half tempted to sneak up on him, but a squeaky floorboard ruins that idea.

"Hey, Four. What's up?" He says.

"Not much. How are you feeling?" I ask

"I am feeling much better, still can't use the arm much, but it doesn't really even hurt anymore."

"Well, I can't stay long, but I wanted to come see how you are feeling."

"Will you be home later? I was planning to head to your apartment this afternoon to hang out with Tris and Christina."

"I have to work. I have a job shadow with Will and then two meetings. But Tris told me that you guys were going to be there so if I get done early I will head over."

"Dude, what is with you?" He asks.

"What is the world are you talking about?" I ask, totally confused as to why he is asking me this.

"You have had a strange grin plastered on your face since you got here. So I ask again... What is with you?" After he says this I actively try to wipe the smile, that I didn't realize I had, off of my face.

"Well, last night was interesting." I start.

"Interesting... how?"

I proceed to tell him the full story from last night. He stays quiet the entire time I am talking, which is unusual for him.

"It's about time!" He exclaims. "And thanks by the way."

"Thanks? For what?" I ask.

"Christina and I had a little bet going on as to when you two would finally stop fighting it and get together. She said that it would be after initiation ended, and I said it would be before. So yeah thanks, because of you two, Christina owes me 100 points."

"You're welcome I guess." I laugh. "But you have to promise me that you won't say a word to anyone until after initiation is over." He doesn't say anything but nods in agreement.

I don't stay long after that since I have to get lunch and then head to meet with my next initiate for job shadowing. As soon as that is over I head to meet with the Erudite tech that is working on the Fear Landscape system, then I head to see Lauren. We need to talk about stage three and any changes that will need to be made because of the new system.

Tris

As soon as I leave Tobias' apartment, I head to Max's office to make sure I am on time to work with him today. While I am waiting I talk with his secretary, Cassia, and she informs me that I am the only initiate that Max is allowing to shadow him. All the others are split up between the other three leaders, Lexa, Zander, and Grace. She also lets me know that Lexa has asked to step down in a couple months, so there will actually be two leadership positions open, Lexa's and the one previously held by Eric. However, Max is only recruiting one position from the initiates, since he has someone in mind for the other. She doesn't know who it is, but I think I do.

The morning goes really well and I enjoy working with Max. I think that, if I get a chance, I would really be interested in taking on this job. It is a lot of work, but seems like something I would do well. We end up going over our allotted time and I leave him at a few minutes after noon. I send Christina a text to let her know that I am on my way and head to the dining hall.

As I am walking there, I hear someone shuffling behind me and instinctively am on guard. After being attacked so recently, I am always ready to defend myself. I spin around to see who is there and am face to face with... Uriah. As soon as I catch his eye, he sighs, apparently disappointed that I caught him with whatever he was trying to do.

"Dang it Tris. I you weren't supposed to hear me." He pouts.

"Then maybe you should have at least tried to be even a little bit quiet." I say wryly.

"Nah, that can't be it. You must have some crazy super sonic hearing or something, because I am stealth, like a ninja."

"A ninja with a peg leg maybe." I retort.

"You wound me deeply." He says, dramatically placing his hands over his heart. I simply roll my eyes and turn back around and start walking to the dining hall again. He walks up next to me and slings an arm around my shoulder.

We grab our food and take our regular seats with Will, Christina, Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna. Normally Tobias and Zeke would be here, but Tobias has a busy day and Zeke is still laying low in his apartment. I think he is capable of coming here for lunch, but is just enjoying having his own personal food delivery service.

I quickly realize that any plans that I may have had of talking to Christina about Tobias during lunch, are out the window. There are just too many prying ears around to keep things private. I will just have to wait until we get back to the apartment. We spend lunch talking mostly about the job shadows that we have done and the ones we have coming up. Uriah is very excited about his time spent learning about becoming a trainer and is certain that he WILL get that for a job. He is still undecided as to his other job, since training is only for a few weeks a year.

Marlene, Lynn, and Will have to head to their afternoon shadows and Shauna heads back to work, leaving Christina, Uriah, and me. Uriah tries in vain to convince us to go various places with him to keep him entertained. We tell him that we have plans so he decides that he is going to come with us. I know that this is not going to be a possibility since he may know who the owner of the apartment is, and I don't want to explain why we are hanging out there. I look to Christina, trying to come up with a plausible reason that he can't tag along, and she decides to tell him that she has an appointment at the infirmary. When he is still willing to come with, she says that it is a visit for "feminine reasons", and he turns bright red as he says that he will leave us on our own then. I feel kind of bad, lying to him like that, but soon enough I will be able to let them all know what is going on.

I don't get a chance to tell Christina about last night on the walk to the apartment, because there always seems to be someone too close by for me to be sure that we will not be heard. As soon as we walk in the door, I turn to her, trying to figure out how to start the conversation. It just seems too awkward to just say something like "By the way, I started dating Four last night." or "So you know how I said Four and I are just friends? Well, strike that." Yeah, awkward. Just as I am about to attempt to bring it into conversation, the door flings open and Zeke walks in.

"Hello ladies." He says with an exaggerated bow. "How are you both this fine afternoon?"

"Exactly how many pain pills did you take?" Christina laughs.

"None, I am just naturally this wonderful and charming."

"If you say so." She shakes her head, grinning.

"So Tris... I hear you had an... interesting night." He smirks. I can feel my face reddening.

"Umm... I guess you could say that." I stammer.

"What are you two talking about?" Christina asks.

"She doesn't know?"

"What don't I know?" Christina asks.

"I didn't have a chance to talk to her alone." I say.

"No wonder I didn't hear her shriek." He says.

"Why would I shriek? What are you guys not telling me?" She is getting more and more agitated by the moment and Zeke seems to be enjoying torturing her. I decide to cut her a break and tell her.

"Well, last night after the party. Umm..." I am at a loss for words. I don't know how to tell her this without it sounding completely stupid.

"I've got this, Trissy. I will just say that as of last night, you owe me 100 points." He says.

"Seriously?" She looks at him.

"Seriously!" As he says this, Christina jumps up and grabs me in a tight hug.

"Ok, now I am lost. What are you two talking about?" I ask. "What about 100 points?"

"Christina and I had a little bet going on..." He starts.

"A bet?"

"Yes, a little friendly wager about when the two of you would finally get over yourselves and get together."

"You made a bet about my love life?" I nearly shout.

"Yep." He continues as if he doesn't notice my tone. "I said that you two would be together before the end of initiation and she insisted that it would be after. So, she owes me 100 points."

"Not that I am not happy for you and everything, Tris. But could you not have waited one more week. Now I have to give him my points." She says while laughing.

"I still can't believe you two were making bets on my life." I shake my head.

"Come on Tris, it was so obvious." Christina says.

"Obvious to who? Do you think anyone else has figured anything out? We really wanted to keep this private until after initiation was done. We don't want it to look like there was any favoritism going on."

"I don't think anyone else has any clue. I think we just do since we spend time with just the two of you. And, not to worry, we can and will keep our mouths shut. Right, Zeke." She says and he nods in reply.

"Ok, Christina, fork over the points." He grins. She sighs heavily, takes out her phone, opens the app, and transfers the points to his account.

We spend the rest of the afternoon just relaxing and watching TV. Thankfully they don't spend the whole time talking about Tobias and me. I may be in Dauntless now, and I embrace that fully, but the Abnegation part of me still feels awkward talking about myself. After a while we decide to head to the dining hall to meet up with Tobias and the rest of our little group. Before we go, I again remind them that this new information is not to be shared with ANYONE. They assure me that, for now, this is just between friends.


	48. Another Encounter

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

This chapter made me want some Chicago mix popcorn from Garrett's. If you have never tried it, you must some day. A mix of cheese and caramel popcorn may sound strange, but it is delicious.

Tris

We meet up with T.J. in the dining hall and take our normal seats with the rest of our friends. At some point during dinner, it is decided that we are all going to go to the movies tonight. The movie starts at 7:30, so we head to the theater right after dinner. It is killing me to have to keep my distance from Tobias in public, but I know that it is best to keep this private until initiation is over. Just as we walk through the doors of the theater, I hear someone call out my name.

"Hey, Tris!" I hear, and turn to see Jake walking towards me.

"Hi, how are you?" I say casually. At the mention of Jake's name, I see Tobias quickly turn in our direction and tense up.

"I am doing well, actually got off work early tonight so I decided to catch a movie."

"Hi, I'm Christina, and you are...?" Christina pipes in.

"Sorry, I'm Jake. Tris shadowed me on Friday in maintenance." He replies.

"Well, like I said, I'm Christina. And this is Will, Shauna, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Four, and of course you know Tris."

"It's nice to meet you all."

"So, Jake, do you want to join us?" Uriah asks. I look to T.J. and see the tension in his eyes, but anyone that didn't know him so well would never guess that anything was wrong.

"That works for me."

We all get our tickets and head into the theater. I make sure that I am next to Tobias, but also that Christina and Zeke are on our other sides. As soon as the room gets dark, I reach next to me and find his hand, giving it a gently squeeze. He squeezes my hand back, but continues to hold it tightly. I know that it is taking everything in him to keep completely calm and composed right now. His brother, that until a few days ago, he never knew about, is sitting just 4 seats away from him.

I am so distracted in thought, that I don't really know what the movie is really about. I want to be there to help T.J. right now, but I don't know how. Since I told him about Jake, a few days ago, the subject has not come up once. I know that he probably needs to process this information and figure out what he wants, so I have not tried to push him. But now, like it or not, he has come face to face with him. Just as the credits begin to roll and the lights come up, I let go of his hand and casually place mine in my lap.

When we are done, Uriah and Christina try to convince us all to go to the dance club for a while. Marlene, Lynn, Will, Shauna and even Jake agree. Zeke decides that he has had enough for the day and heads home, without too much grief from the group. They try as hard as they can to convince Tobias and I both to go but I know that he needs to head home so he can finally let his guard down a bit. I make an excuse that I have to be up early for a job shadow and T.J. says he is going to go with Zeke to make sure he is ok. After some additional pleading from Uriah, they finally give up and head to the club while we head towards the apartments.

"I will meet you there." I say. "I just need to make one quick stop."

"Tris, I will come with you. I don't like the idea of you wandering around alone at this time of night." I stop and grab his arm, causing him to spin to face me.

"I know what you are thinking." I start. "And, I know that you just want to protect me. But you also know that I am fully capable of taking care of myself."

"I know you are... but I just can't stand the thought of anything happening to you."

"Nothing will. Now you head home and I will be no more than 15 minutes behind you." I turn him back around and send him on his way with a sigh.

I head to the little convenience store in the pit to pick up some snacks. I am expecting tonight to be a late night because I plan to force T.J. to talk to me about the situation with Jake. I grab a bag of his favorite popcorn, half cheese and half caramel, and I also get some other snacks and pop. Just as I am walking out of the store, I walk right into someone. I look up to see Jake, laughing, hardly phased by it.

"Fancy meeting you here." He laughs.

"Hey, I was just grabbing some snacks before I head home. I thought that you went to the club with the others."

"I was going to, but decided I was too tired."

"Yeah, I am not sure how Christina can get by with so little sleep, I need way more than she seems to." I chuckle.

"Tris, can I ask you a question?" He seems a little nervous.

"Sure."

"I was just wondering if you had a chance to send a message to my brother."

"I did." I pause for a second to gather my thoughts. "I can say for sure that he received the message, but I haven't heard back about it."

"Sorry if I seem like I am pushy, it's just that I have wanted to meet him for so long, and now I finally found a connection to him."

"You are not being pushy at all. I promise you that I will let you know when I get a response. But, Jake...?"

"Yeah?" He asks.

"What if he decides that he doesn't want to meet you two?"

"I still want to know. And, honestly, I wouldn't blame him. I mean, we have known about him for most of our lives, but he just found that we exist. I haven't even told Lena that I sent a message to him. I don't want to get her hopes up for nothing." He says with a half smile.

"I hope he decides to meet you, you seem like a great guy."

"Thanks. I know you probably have to get going, but can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure." I smile.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

"Jake, that is a wonderful offer, but I am actually seeing someone."

"Of course you are. I should have expected that you would be." He laughs. "Well, I figured it never hurts to ask. Can you promise me something?"

"Maybe?" I say, cautiously.

"Just tell me that, if things change and you find yourself suddenly single, let me take you out on a date." He grins as he speaks. I simply laugh.

"Have a good night, Jake."

"Can I walk you to the dorms?"

"Actually I am not staying in the dorms."

"May I ask why?"

"Well, it is a long story that maybe I can tell you another time. But for now I will just say that I am staying with a friend until I get my own apartment after initiation."

"Would you like me to walk you there? I don't mind."

"That is very sweet of you, but I am fine to walk alone. It's very close by."

"Ok. Well, have a great night, Tris."

"You too."

I head back to the apartment quickly, more convinced that tonight will be the night that I force Tobias to talk about the situation with Jake and Lena. I don't want to make him angry, but he needs to deal with his own feelings about it, and decide what he wants to do. When I get there, I see him sitting on the couch watching TV. I sit beside him, on my knees, facing him on the other end of the couch.

"I got some snacks... including your favorite popcorn." I say with a grin.

"Thanks, honey."

"We need to talk." I say, simply. He shuts off the TV and shifts to face me. "I want to know how you are feeling."

"I'm fine." He replies quickly.

"Come on, T.J. I know you well enough to know that you are not fine. You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"Of course I do. The thing is... I don't even know how I'm feeling. This is all so confusing." He sighs. I reach over and take his hand in mine.

"I saw Jake again. I ran into him after I left the store." I pause for a reply, and when he remains silent, I continue. "He asked me if I was able to get the message to you."

"What did you say?"

"I told him that I knew that you received the message, but that I had not gotten a response."

"What was his reaction?"

"He seemed a bit disappointed. He really wants to meet you. He said that he has wanted to have a chance to meet his little brother for nearly his entire life."

"I don't think that I want to meet him." He says firmly.

"Why?"

"Because I...well I... I just don't think I want to. Why are you pushing me on this, Tris? You have no idea what this is like!" He says, getting louder with each word until he is yelling.

"Tobias, I know you are upset, so I will let your tone and volume slide for now. And you are right, I have no idea what this feels like. I have no idea what it is like to find out that you have a brother and sister that you have never known. But I do know what it is like to have a brother, and despite our differences, it was wonderful. Yes he was difficult to live with at times, but I miss him more than I can explain. He is my family, and like it or not, they are your family. I know that we are all supposed to move on past our families and put "faction before blood", but here is the thing... you can have both. They are your family, your blood... and they are also your faction." He takes a deep breath, calming himself, before he speaks.

"For so long, I had wished for a brother or sister. After my mother died, I just wished that I could have someone in my life that would just love me unconditionally. I wanted someone, other than Marcus, that was family. But there was no one... until I met you. You became my family, Tris. You became the only family I ever needed, the only family I ever will need."

"T.J." I say softly. "You can have both."

"I don't know how." He says as he looks down.

"How to do what?"

"How to have a real family. I don't know how to have a brother and a sister."

"Then you learn. Just like everything new that you experience in life, you learn to deal with things as they come. You will learn how to have family. You will learn that not all family is going to be cruel and heartless like Marcus."

"Why are you so intent on me meeting them?"

"Because I want you to have as many good things in your life as possible." I smile.

"How do you know that this would be a good thing?"

"I met him, Tobias, he seems like a really nice guy."

"And if he's not?"

"Then you never have to speak to him again. But I don't think that will be a problem."

"I still don't know Tris. This is just all so overwhelming."

"I know. You don't have to decide at this moment... but you need to decide soon." I say. He nods, and I know that the conversation is over for now.

I slide closer to him on the couch and curl into his arms. After that, we cuddle up and turn the TV back on. We stay this way until I can no longer keep my eyes open. We both get changed and then climb into bed. Just as I am nearly asleep, he stirs a bit and kisses me softly.

"Tris?"

"Hmm?" I mumble sleepily.

"I love you, and I am sorry about earlier."

"It's ok, and I love you too. Good night."

"Good night, my love." He gives me another gently kiss, and just as I am drifting off, I hear him say "I will meet them."


	49. Mi Casa Es Tu Casa

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Sorry it has been so long since my last update. Honestly, I just have not felt like writing anything. I got wrapped up in a series and was too busy with those books to write anything myself.

Tobias

I lie in bed, awake far too early, and think over the past few days. My life has changed completely in less then a week. No longer am I all alone, I have Tris... and I have family here. I made my decision, I will meet Jake and Lena. I will meet them once and then, if it doesn't work out well, I will never have to see them again. This entire situation has been so strange, so maddening, so confusing. As much of a surprise as it was when Tris told me, I really should have expected something like this. Marcus has never been a man of high moral character, I have the scars to prove it. Why should it shock me that he would have cheated on my mother?

The thing that surprised me the most about it all, was my reaction... or lack of a reaction. I guess it was just such a shock, that I didn't know how to react. At first, I was dead set against meeting them, but that was short lived. I know for a fact, that if it was not for Tris, I would never have decided to give it a chance. But I know that she will be there with me, just like she has always been for the past 8 years. Even for the two years that we were apart, she was with me. And now... what we have now is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. She is the love of my life, and here she is, fast asleep against my side.

I silence the alarm almost the instant it turns on. I then begin the gradual process of waking Tris up. I have learned a few things since she started staying with me. One is that you NEVER wake her loudly, as I learned when I got a knee to the gut one morning. Another, is that it takes her a LONG time to fully wake up. She is far from a morning person, and would rather sleep until at least 10 am everyday. She is also very cuddly in the morning, trying to delay getting up, by snuggling in to my chest as tightly as possible. That, I don't mind one bit!

Today, is no exception. As soon as I whisper her name to wake her, she pulls me closer to her and buries her face in my neck. I kiss her gently on the top of her head and try, unsuccessfully, to loosen her grip. She simply groans and burrows in closer.

"Good morning, Honey. It's time to get up." I whisper.

"It's too early to be good." She grumbles.

"I know that you want to sleep, but you have a busy day today." I laugh.

"I don't want a busy day." She pouts.

"Well you probably shouldn't have signed up for EVERY job shadow. Then I wouldn't have had to schedule you for 5 today."

"OK, I will get up." She sighs. "But first..." She looks up as me and gives me a long, slow, lingering kiss, before rolling away sliding off the bed. She grabs the bag where most of her belongings are kept, rummages through until she finds a set of clothes, and heads to the bathroom. This gives me an idea.

As soon as we are both ready for the day, I give her a quick kiss, and we head to the dining hall for breakfast. After breakfast, I spend the morning with meetings, paperwork, and a job shadow with Christina. Then I have the afternoon off.

I head to the pit and grab a quick lunch, knowing that Tris won't have time to linger here today, with her full schedule. Afterwards I decide to do a little bit of shopping before heading back to the apartment. I pick up some groceries, some and a few things at various stores. My last stop is at the furniture store where I buy a night stand, a lamp and a dresser. The clerk is one of my initiates from last year, and I convince him to help me take it straight to my apartment.

Once I get home, I immediately begin getting everything setup. I put away all the small stuff, then get working on the furniture. I place the new nightstand and lamp on Tris' side of the bed, and put the dresser against the wall, right next to my dresser. Once that is all done, I grab her bag, and start unpacking all her belongings. I hang up her dresses in my, hopefully our, closet. Then I refold the rest of her clothes and place them in her dresser. I put her nick knacks and the framed photo of her parents on top of the dresser, and organize her toiletries in the bathroom cupboard. Once that is done I get dinner in the over and go relax on the couch until Tris gets home.

I get a text message on my phone and look to see that it is from Tris.

"I am just finishing my last job shadow. Do you want to meet me in the dining hall for dinner?"

"Actually, I have dinner in the oven. It should be done soon, so can you meet me here?"

"OK. I should only be about 15 minutes."

"See you then."

I look at the clock and see that it is 5:30. I set the table and check on the dinner in the oven. It looks like it is done, so I pull it out and set it on the table. I am hoping that this is enough of a distraction that she does not immediately notice the new furnishings in the apartment.

Tris

As soon as I walk through the door of the apartment, I am overwhelmed by the most amazing aroma. I see T.J. walking out of the bathroom just as I walk in the door. He motions to the table and I eagerly sit. I have not eaten anything since breakfast and I am STARVING. I look in the pan and see that he made a roast with carrots, onions, and potatoes. I have had this once before, back in Abnegation when Marcus was out of town and Tobias made me dinner, and remember that it was wonderful.

"It smells wonderful!" I exclaim. He only grins in reply. "Thanks for cooking. I was so hungry! I was way to busy to have lunch today."

"I am more than happy to make you dinner." He says.

"Well, you should be careful, you are spoiling me. I am going to start expecting to be pampered all the time." I laugh.

"You deserve to be pampered... just maybe not all the time." He chuckles.

As we eat, we talk about the day and he tells me about his meetings and shadow with Christina. It seems that she decided that trainer was not for her... too much boring paperwork involved. Then we talk about my job shadows today. I had a couple hours in the control room with Zeke, who had his first day back at work today. It was not too bad, but I don't think I want to spend all day looking at a computer screen. After that, I was with a fence guard named Paul. I don't think that is a good fit for me. Then I was in the cafeteria with a woman named Zara. I had fun and think that I could work there if I needed to. I know how to cook and can easily learn some new recipes.

After dinner, I insist on cleaning up while Tobias settles in on the couch to watch TV. When I am done, I decide to take a shower. But when I go to grab my bag, I notice that it is not in the normal spot at the end of the couch.

"T.J., where is my bag?" I ask.

"Oh, I figured you were probably sick of having all your stuff shoved in that bag, so I put it all away." He says, pointing in the direction of his dresser.

That is when I notice that there are some changes in the room. I must have been too focused on dinner and my own exhaustion to notice earlier, but I now see that next to Tobias' dresser is a second dresser and there is a new nightstand by the bed. I realize that he must have set this all up while I was running to all my jobs today. I smile widely as I cross the room to inspect the new dresser. On the top he has placed a few of my things, including the picture of my parents. I pull open the top drawer and see my pajamas and undergarments neatly folded and arranged. I take out what I need for the night, place it on the new nightstand, and walk over to T.J.

"You are amazing, you know that?" I say as I pull him to his feet and wrap my arms around him.

"Well, I figured that you needed a better place to keep your things while you are here." He smiles.

"You are right. But, Tobias?"

"Hmm?"

"You know that I am getting my own apartment on Friday after the end of initiation." I say, glumly. I have loved this time with him so much, I don't really want it to end.

"So I was thinking about that." I smirks.

"You were thinking about my apartment?"

"I was. I was thinking that it is such a hassle to move all your stuff to a new apartment. After all, we just got you all settled in here. So, maybe you should just go ahead and turn down your assigned apartment... and stay here."

"Stay here?" I ask, still catching up with what he is saying.

"Only if you want to stay here."

"I would like nothing better!" I smile. "But can I do that? Is it ok to not take my own apartment and live with you?"

"You bet. If you want I can talk it over with Max before the ceremony."

"But what about him knowing about us? What do you think he'll do?"

"Honestly, Tris, I think he already has an idea about us. He made a comment the other day that makes me think he figured it out, and he really does not seem to care. So what do you think? Do you want to stay here?"

"Yes! That sounds like the best idea ever." I say, then a thought crosses over me and I feel my face reddening.

"What?" He grins.

"Um... oh... nothing." I stutter.

"Come on, honey. I know you better than that and your red face tells me something is going on in that head of yours."

"I... I just... It's just that." I sigh.

"Tris, you can tell me anything." He leads me to the couch and pulls me to sit sideways on his lap.

"It's just that... I don't think that I am ready... for..." I trail off.

"Sex?" He says with a smile. He almost seems pleased that I am so embarrassed. I simply nod and drop my head in reply. "Honey, that's fine. You don't have to be ready. We don't have to do anything until you ARE ready. Me asking you to move in with me doesn't mean I expect anything from you. I want to live here with you because the thought of not waking up next to you everyday is unacceptable. I want to live with you because I want to spend every possible moment with you. I want to live with you because I want the entire faction, beyond the faction, to know that you are mine and I am yours. I want to live with you because I love you, Tris... not because of sex." He gently takes my face in his hand and brings it up so I meet his gaze. He gives me a gentle kiss, before releasing my face.

"I have just never felt comfortable talking about this before." I say, shyly.

"I know that. Remember... I am from Abnegation too? We were both taught the same things about sex."

"I guess as much as I am trying to be Dauntless all the way, a my Abnegation comes out once in a while." I grin.

"You are not alone there. I just hide it better I think." He laughs.

"But what if... what if I am not ready for a while?"

"Then nothing happens for a while. Like I said, I can wait until you are ready. If it takes 20 years before you are ready, then I will be waiting 20 years."

"Well, I can certainly say it will be way before 20 years!" I laugh. "It is probably crazy by Dauntless standards but I always thought that..." I trail off, finding myself unable to complete my thoughts.

"I know." He says.

"You know?"

"Yep, you don't even have to say it. We were both taught that you don't have sex until your wedding night. And if you want to wait until then... that is ok with me."

"Are you sure?" I ask, quietly.

"Honey, I would wait a lifetime for you. I am going to have you with me for the rest of my life, and I can certainly wait until we are married if that is what you want to do."

"I love you." Is all I can manage to say.

"I love you too Tris, always have, always will."

We sit together for a little while longer before I get up, take my shower, and get ready for bed. Once T.J. joins me in OUR bed, I curl in closely to his chest and listen to the soothing rhythm of his ever steady heartbeat. I fall asleep quickly, imagining spending every night for the rest of my life, wrapped in his arms.


	50. Facing His Fears Together

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

So for Tobias' Fear Landscape, I am going with the book rather than the movie version of the fears and how they got past them. I like it better that way. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It just kind of took on a life of it's own along the way.

On a side note, I have an idea for a little contest of sorts. More details to come in the next chapter.

Tris

The week has flown by so fast, I guess it is because I have been so busy. Now it is Thursday and I have my last job shadows today. I have one this morning, and then I will be with Tobias for my last one this afternoon. My time with him won't be like it was with the other job shadows. The computer system is being delivered and installed this morning and it is his job to do the system configuration and testing before tomorrow morning. That is when stage three will finally be completed as we all face our Fear Landscapes.

After lunch, I head straight to meet with him, even though I am not scheduled to be there until 3. I grab him a sandwich, apple, and a bottle of water before I go, since I know that he will not have taken the time to have lunch. When I arrive, I see him typing fervently at the computer. He takes a quick glance over his shoulder to see it is me, before returning to his work.

"Hey, you're early." He says, still focused on the screen in front of him. "I won't be ready to start the testing for a couple hours."

"I know, but I also know that you probably have not eaten a thing since breakfast, and I wanted to bring you this." I say, setting the food down on the desk.

"Thanks, honey." He says with a smile. I lean in and give him a gentle kiss.

"Anytime, babe." I say, then realizing what I just called him.

"Babe?" He cranes his head towards me.

"I don't know. Just sort of came out." I shrug. "No good?"

"Hmm... let's see. Try it again." He grins.

"So, what are you up to, babe." I laugh.

"Yeah, I think I like it." He joins me in my laughter.

"So you approve?"

"Yep, I approve." He pulls me in for another soft kiss.

"So, really, what are you up to?" I ask as I pull a chair up next to him.

"Well, the new computer system was installed this morning for the Fear Landscape system. After they got it set up, it was my job to connect the thin client systems back to the mainframe so we can run all 4 simulations at the same time. After that I had to set up all the parameters for the simulations for tomorrow. Then I had to start re-loading all the data for the previous simulations from the back-ups. Once I get all the data loaded, I will be able to run through a landscape to make sure that everything is ready."

"Ah, that's all." I grin. "I would have had that done hours ago."

"Sure, Tris, whatever you say." He laughs.

"Whatever I say? Hmm... I kind of like the sound of that." I chuckle. He looks at me, suspiciously. "Right now I say...hmm... what do I want? I've got it! Right now... I say... that my wonderful... handsome... fantastic... intelligent boyfriend... needs to stop what he is doing right now..." I pause.

"... and he needs to eat his lunch."

"As you command, my love." He says with a mock bow.

He quickly eats his lunch and then gets right back to work. I simply sit and watch him for the next few hours until he finally clicks a final button and sighs.

"There, finally done. I really hope I don't have to do that again."

"Do they know what caused it to crash before?"

"Yep. It was all because of a paper clip."

"A paper clip?"

"So what we are guessing, is that there must have been a stack of papers on top of the computer held together with at least one paper clip. And at some point, one of the clips fell off the papers and managed to slip inside the back of the computer. It jammed in the cooling fan and caused the cpu to overheat. According to the janitor that found it, there was smoke coming out of the back before he managed to unplug it. When the Erudite tech got here to check it out, she said that there were actually a few chips that had begun to melt."

"I see, so all that work caused by a single paper clip."

"Well not just the paper clip." He shrugs.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The main cpu was supposed to have nightly backups of the data sent to the servers in Erudite, so that if there ever was a failure, the information could simply be restored. But when I got looking into the system logs, I noticed that there has not been a complete backup done in 22 months. It seems that there was a failed procedure in the database that caused the process to fail, and no one noticed it. So now I have set it all back up from scratch, scheduled the backups to begin running again, and set up system alerts to be sent to the control room supervisor if the backups fail again."

"Have I told you how smart you are?"

"Hmm... not today." He smirks.

"Well, Tobias James Eaton... you, my dear, are a genius."

"Why, thank you." He gives me a light peck on the lips.

"What now?" I ask.

"Now, we are going to test the system."

"How do we do that?"

"Come with me." He says as he types in a few commands into the system. He leads me into one of the simulation rooms and closes the door behind us.

"Is this where we will do the testing?"

"Yep. We are going through my Fear Landscape... together." He says. I find that I am suddenly nervous.

"Are you sure that you want me to see all that?"

"Tris, there is no one else that I would ever want to see it. Besides, you probably know what most of them are anyway."

He places the electrodes on both of us and then injects the serum, first in my neck then his own. We sit back in out chairs and wait for the simulation to begin. Moments later, the room fades into total darkness before it suddenly becomes blindingly bright. I look around and see that we are standing on top of a building. I peer over the edge and find that I am unable to even see the ground. Of course this is his fear of heights.

He has had this fear for longer than I have known him. He once told me that, when he was about 5 years old, he loved to climb trees. The taller the tree, the more he loved it. Then one day, he found a huge maple tree not too far from his house, and he decided to climb to the very top. He had just gotten to the top of the tree when, out of nowhere, it began to storm. He called out for help getting down and when Marcus saw him up there, he said that he had to figure it out on his own. He told him that if he was stupid enough to get stuck up there, he deserved to stay for a while. He was too afraid to climb down the wet branches, so he stayed at the top of the tree, looking down to the ground below, afraid that at any moment he would slip and go plummeting to the ground. He has been afraid ever since that day, and never again climbed a tree.

I see the fear in his eyes, and take control of the situation. I know what we need to do. In order to get past this part of the simulation, we need to jump. I take him by the hand and lead him to the edge of the building. I squeeze his hand firmly, count to three and we both leap from the building.

There is only a brief moment of falling before we are suddenly on the ground again. I look around me and see that we are not just on the ground, we are in side a room. A small room, devoid of windows or doors, no bigger than... a closet. Realization hits me like a punch to the gut. For many years, Marcus' second favorite form of punishment for Tobias, was to lock him in a closet. He was forced to spend hours at a time shut in the closet, not allowed to make a sound, until Marcus decided that his punishment was sufficient and let him out. If he made too much noise while he was confined, usually because of a panic attack, he was also beaten when he was let out. He quickly learned to hold his fear inside to avoid Marcus discovering how much this hurt him.

Then, just as I began to acclimate to the room, the walls began closing in on us. I realize what we need to do the get this to end. I pull T.J. as close to my body as possible and curl up in a ball in his arms. He follows suit and curls his body around mine, so that we were taking up as little space as physically possible. A moment later, I feel the walls begin to retract, and we are suddenly in a different room again.

I see a woman standing across from us and realize that she is holding a gun. She slowly raised the gun in our direction and points it directly at Tobias. This time, he barely hesitates. He reaches to grab a gun off of a table that I did not even notice. He calmly raises the gun and points it in her direction. He aims, takes a deep breath, and turns his face away as he pulls the trigger, ending this part of the simulation.

When the scene changes again, I immediately know where we are. We are back in Abnegation. We are in the house of Marcus Eaton. I see a pained expression cross his face and start the step closer to him, when I hear his voice. The voice of the man that I have grown to hate so much. I look up to see Marcus crossing the room with a leather belt in his hands. "Tobias. I'm just trying to help you... to be better." Then he raises his hand in the air and brings the belt whipping in Tobias's direction. I don't even have time to think before my body moves on instinct, stepping in front of Tobias. I feel the impact of the belt as it stings against my skin, before I take hold of it and rip it from Marcus' grip. Without a moment of hesitation, I raise the belt and whip it back in his direction. Just as the belt makes contact with Marcus' cheek, I am back in the simulation room, Tobias at my side.

I get up from my seat and turn to face T.J., then I am suddenly overcome with such emotions that I can barely stay on my feet. I sway a bit, before sinking to my knees, my body wracked with sobs. I feel a strong pair of arms envelope me and I sink into Tobias' chest as he holds me tightly. He takes my face in his hands and turns me to face him.

"Tris, it's ok. It was just a simulation. It's all over now." He says as he peppers my face with feather light kisses.

"I know. But..." I dissolve into more tears.

"But, what, honey?" He looks concerned.

"So much of that... was because... of him... what he did... how he treated you. I just feel like... I feel like... maybe I could have done something. Maybe I could have found a way to get you away from him. I am so sorry T.J. I just wish..."

"Stop that Tris." He cuts me off and tips my face back up to meet his gaze. "You have nothing to be sorry for... not one thing. You were the only reason I survived all those years with him. You were the only thing good that I had in my life."

"But I could have tried to get others to listen, to help you get away from him."

"Honey, there was nothing you could do. You were just a little girl. You know for a fact that there was no one that was going to take me away from Marcus' custody."

"But someone could have tried."

"Someone did try." He states.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I have seen some files that I probably am not supposed to even know about, but there were reports filed against him."

"What kind of reports?"

"Allegations of abuse and neglect for years."

"How did you find this out?"

"Well, I have gotten pretty good at hacking into computer files over the last two years. I was able to get into some files from Abnegation and saw dozens of reports about his abuse over the years."

"And nothing ever happened to him?"

"Nope. He was too powerful, had too many friends that could just make the reports disappear. "

"Do you know who made the reports?"

"They are all listed as confidential, but I think I know."

"How do you know if it is not listed?"

"It was not really very hard to figure it out. The first reports were filed when I was 10 years old, about a month after we met."

"So you think it was..." I trail off.

"You mom. I really can't think of anyone else that it could have been. They started just after we met, and were filed at least once a month. The last one was filed 6 days before my choosing ceremony. She tried Tris, but there was nothing she could do."

"I just wish that someone could have gotten you out of his house."

"Well, she tried that too."

"What do you mean?"

"A few weeks after my 12th birthday, there was a new report filed and this one was a little different. In the report the claimant, who like I said must be your mom, stated that she had requested Marcus relinquish custody of me and allow me to live with her family. He refused, and apparently things got heated, resulting in a physical altercation between my father and your dad... well her husband, if it somehow was not really your mom. It seems that while they were arguing, Marcus tired to strike her and he stepped in."

"Oh my gosh." I say breathlessly, as a long buried memory begins to resurface. "I remember that."

"You remember them fighting?"

"Yes. I was in bed one night when I heard some talking downstairs. I got up to use the bathroom and heard my mom yelling. That was the first and only time I had ever heard my mom raise her voice, so it took me off guard. I didn't know who she was yelling at or really what they were fighting about, but I just remember the yelling. I heard her say things like 'Just let us take him.', 'He would be better off with us.', and 'He deserves better than how you treat him.' I probably should have been able to tell what they were talking about, but at the time, I was so confused as to why she would be yelling, that it didn't even cross my mind. Then I heard a loud crash and my father started yelling for him to leave their house and never even think about coming back. It all makes sense now."

"Well, it didn't end there. She filed several more times, trying to get his rights terminated, and get me placed in your home. But that was all there was to it... she filed reports and they went into a file, never to be dealt with. You parents tired to help me, but there was nothing they could do."

"I just wish..."

"I know. But we can't change the past, we just need to learn from it and move on."

"How can you be so calm about all this? That simulation was the hardest thing I have ever done, and they were not even my fears."

"Practice I guess." He shrugs.

"Practice?" I ask.

"Yep, practice over the years of holding back my emotions from Marcus. Practice facing those fears."

"Have you done your Fear Landscape very often?" I ask. He nods in reply. "Why do you do it?"

"To deal with my fears. I keep going in there, but I don't think you ever lose them. Four then, four now."

I can't come up with any other words to say, so I don't even try. I just pull him tighter into my arms and kiss him. It starts out gently at first but soon becomes intense and passionate, leaving us both breathless when we finally pull away. He stands first, pulling me to my feet after him and pulls me into a tight hug. After a few more minutes, he shows me how to shut down the computer systems, locks up, and we leave to go to the dining hall for dinner.

Dinner is spent with our normal group of friends, but the atmosphere is different. I know that this is because we are all nervous about the Fear Landscape tomorrow morning. Then in the afternoon we will get the final rankings, there will be the final cuts, and we will know who will be full Dauntless members, and who will be Factionless. We will also get our jobs and apartment assignments, though I don't need the apartment now.

When we finally head to bed, I am so exhausted I can barely get the blankets pulled over me, before I slip into a dreamless sleep.


	51. Fear Landscape

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I decided to write the actual Fear Landscape portion from Tobias' POV since I don't really feel like going into too much detail about her fears. Since in the book he could not actually see her simulations in this stage, she will just tell him what her fears were and what she did. Also I have decided to eliminate her fear of intimacy since I want her to have 6 fears total before she would be conquering that one. I'm so excited. Initiation is over and they can finally go public.

Ok, Contest time. Over the next Five chapters (starting with this one), I will be including a quote from another book series. I will be making a little change to the formatting of the quote so that it is easier to identify. What I want from you all is to write a comment with the name of the book that this is from along with the author. Here are the rules. I will be awarding points to the first 5 people with the right answer. First to answer will receive 5 points, second will get 4, and so on with 5th getting one point. You have five days after I post a chapter to post your answer in the comments section. When posting your answer, you must be signed in so that I can reply to your comment and so that your review will not go in to my moderation folder. If you are under 18 you must ask a parent or guardian if you can participate, as I will need to get an e-mail address from the winner in order to provide your prize. The prize will be a 5 dollar Amazon e-gift card. I wish it could be more but until I get a new job, that is all I can afford. Also I will give 1 bonus point to the first five people that can say why I am using the number 5 for everything in this contest.

On with the story.

Tris

My nerves are raw this morning as I am trying to get ready to head to the third and final stage of initiation. **Every butterfly in the world has migrated to my stomach.** I am terrified that I am not going to make it through, and I will be Factionless, though Tobias assures me that I have nothing to worry about. He left a few hours ago, needing to get there early to double check the computer system and to meet with Max. I got up at the same time he did, and have spent most of that time pacing in our apartment.

Finally it is time for me to leave and head to the simulation rooms. When I arrive, I see that all of my friends are already there. I also see that there is not a single chair left for me to sit in as I wait. I sigh, and walk to the side of the room to lean on the wall while I wait. I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye and turn to see Uriah waiving his arms wildly, trying to get my attention. I walk over to where he is sitting. He is in the first row of chairs with Marlene to his right, and Christina and Will to his left.

"Have a seat... right here." He says, patting his lap. I consider walking back to my spot against the wall for a moment before I decide I would rather not stand while I wait.

"I have a better idea." I laugh. At that I sit on Christina's lap before turning to the side and laying down across Uriah, Christina, and Will.

I start laughing as I take in the surprised look on Uriah's face as I get settled on my back with my head in his lap and my body stretched across both Christina and Will. I put my hands behind my head as a pillow and am amazed at how comfortable this actually is. I peer back at Marlene, who is laughing so hard she is nearly in tears.

"Comfy, Tris?" Uriah laughs.

"Actually, I am. You make a decent pillow."

"It must be all my muscles." He grins. "Makes a nice supportive pillow for you."

"Whatever you say Uri."

I look over at Christina and I can tell that there is something off with her. I am guessing that it is just nerves about today, but something tells me that there is more to it. I am just about to ask her if she is ok, when Tobias enters the room and faces the waiting group of initiates. I can tell that he is struggling to suppress a laugh, as he sees me stretched out on my makeshift bed. He gives us a brief speech about the schedule for today. We will spend this morning in our Fear Landscapes, then all the data will be analyzed for our final rankings. Then at 5pm, we will all meet in the training rooms. At that time the rankings will be announced, final cuts will be made, we will then pick our jobs and be given our apartments based on our rankings. It is going to be a crazy and long day, but I just hope at the end of it, all of my friends and I will be full members of Dauntless.

Tobias

When I walk into the waiting area where the initiates are, I nearly laugh out loud. There in the front row is Tris, laying across Uriah, Christina, and Will. She is stretched out and, even though I know she is a nervous wreck, she looks completely relaxed. I pull myself together and begin giving the information to the initiates about the schedule for today. Once that is done, I begin sending the initiates into their individual simulation rooms to begin the Fear Landscapes.

The simulations seem to crawl by though, since we are running four rooms at a time, it really is not talking too much time. As expected, some initiates landscapes take a very long time. The more fears that they have and the harder it is for them to get past them, the longer they are in the simulation. We are very efficient in our process though, and manage to keep a continuous flow of initiates going. I am in charge of getting initiates prepped and started in the simulation but am not actually monitoring any of them myself.

By the time it is Tris' turn the waiting area is nearly empty, she is one of the last three initiates to be sent in, along with Uriah and Lynn. All three of their rooms are ready at the same time, so I take them in one by one to get them going. Once I have Lynn and Uriah already started, I bring Tris into her room and start hooking her up to the equipment. I attach the electrodes to her head, brushing my hand across her cheek gently as I work. Then I sweep her hair from her neck and cup her face in one hand as I inject the serum in the other side of her neck. I give her a gently smile and lightly squeeze her hand as she settles into the chair, waiting for her Fear Landscape to begin. Just before she goes under, I lean over to her and whisper "Be brave, Tris." wishing I could kiss her. Then I leave the room and head back to our apartment, since I am sure she will come here when she is done, and I have no more work to do until after all the data is in.

I wait on the couch, trying to relax, but finding that I am nervous. I am not at all worried that Tris will be cut, but I know how scared she is, and it is killing me that I can't be there with her through this. It does not take very long though, before I hear the apartment door open and see a very frazzled looking Tris walk in. She doesn't say a word, she just walks over to me, climbs into my lap, and clings to me. I sit, holding her gently but firmly, and start stroking her long blonde hair. Once she seems to be calm, I decide to ask her about the simulation.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I guess."

"Well, you must have done well, you could not have been in there very long. How many fears did you have?"

"Six." She replies.

"Only six. Honey, that is amazing. That is the second lowest number that I know of."

"Yeah, I think it is. Second only to you." She grins slightly.

"Do you want to tell me about them?"

"I guess."

She then tells me about all the fears that she had in her landscape. First she was attacked by flocks of crows. She was able to get past this fear by grabbing a gun and shooting. Second, she was trapped inside a glass box that was filling with water and she broke the glass to escape. After that, she was adrift in the ocean, about to drown. She found and grabbed onto a large rock, and was able to pull herself from the water to safety. In her fourth fear, she was tied up as Peter and other initiates began to set her on fire, and she... made it rain. Her fifth fear involved a number of faceless men, all trying to kidnap her. She began shooting them, but when she ran out of ammunition, she ran and hid in a closet until the fear passed. Her sixth, and final fear takes her longer to explain. The final fear is always the worst. She begins to sob as she tells me that in this fear, she was in a room and was going to be forced to kill her family. In the room was her father, her mother, Caleb... and me. Jeanine Matthews was threatening her life if she did not kill us all. Her response was to turn the gun on herself and shoot.

She dissolves into a round of sobs, and I pull her tightly into my arms. I whisper soothing worlds to her until she finally calms down again. She sits up taller and snakes her arms around my neck, kissing me tenderly. We stay this way, wrapped in each other's arms until it is time for me to go back to work. I have to meet with Max to discuss the final rankings and get everything ready for the afternoon ceremony. I reluctantly leave Tris in the apartment and head to Max's office.

Once I arrive in his office, Max and I get straight to work on the rankings and getting all the apartments assigned. Max is not at all surprised when I tell him that Tris will not be needing an apartment of her own since she will be living with me.

"I expected you to say that." Max chuckles.

"So you knew?"

"I sure did."

"I thought you had figured it out, but can I ask how you knew?"

"It was the way you look at her."

"The way I look at her?" I ask.

"Yep. It may not have been obvious to other people, but I could tell. From the first moment she got here, I could see it in your face whenever she was around. It's just a look you get. A look that makes me think of how I feel every time I look at my wife."

"And it's ok with you?"

"Look, Four, I was worried at first that it might give her an unfair advantage when it came to her rankings. But I have been paying close attention and I know that you were not raking her higher based on your relationship. I can see that she earned her rankings. So yes, it is ok with me."

"Thanks Max."

"Ok, so now about the rest of the initiates..."

We continue working until right before we are scheduled to meet for the final ceremony. I wish I had a chance to see Tris before the ceremony, but there is not a moment to spare. When we arrive at the Training Room, I see that all the initiates are already there, as well as Zeke, Shauna, Lauren, all the Dauntless leaders, and a number of other faction members.

Max stands up and gives a short speech before we reveal the rankings, and therefore the initiates that will now be Factionless. At the beginning of initiation, it was announced that any initiates that ranked below the tenth spot, were going to be cut and become Factionless. I have been trying to convince him to change that and at least increase the number of spots that are available, but he has been adamant about keeping the cuts as planned.

I then take step up and turn on the screen that shows the final rankings.

1\. Tris

2\. Uriah

3\. Lynn

4\. Marlene

5\. Will

6\. Christina

7\. Peter

8\. Lukas

9\. Meg

10\. Sarah

11\. Mat

12\. April

13\. Mike

14\. Nikki

15\. Al

16\. Rob

17\. Drew

18\. Molly

The initiates that are being cut are visibly shaken before Max steps back up to the microphone and makes another announcement.

"I see that there are a number of you... 8 to be exact, that are now trying to get used to the idea that you will now be living with the Factionless. For a few years now, it has become a rule that only the top 10 initiates would be allowed to remain in Dauntless. However, recently, I have been encouraged to re-think this rule. Your trainer, Four, has been trying to convince me that making these cuts automatically is not in the best interest of the faction. I have taken his argument into consideration and have decided that this year, we will not be making automatic cuts based on ranking. However, those that are ranked below the 10th spot will have to complete a probationary period, during which they will have to prove that they will be an asset to the faction. If they are not able to prove their value to the faction in the next 90 days, they will then be removed from Dauntless." There is a lot of murmuring in the crowd, before Max continues. "Now, it is time for all the new members to select their jobs and receive their apartment assignments. This will be in order of the final rankings. Before we begin, I have some things

to clarify on a few positions. First, if you select Leadership as your occupation, the current leaders will immediately vote on this decision. If the leadership board decides to accept the request, you will then have the position. If the request is rejected, you will need to select another position. Now, if you select a job as an Initiate Trainer, you will also need to select another job, as this is a seasonal position. Finally, if you select a job in the Infirmary, you will need to select your specialty after you begin your training. You can decide to train as a physician, physician assistant, nurse, nurse midwife, or clerk. Now, let's continue with the ceremony." He motions to the stage and calls Tris to come forward. "Tris, what is your decision?"

"I have decided that I would like to be an Initiate Trainer... and... a member of Leadership." She states, nervously.

"Very well Tris. Now, please step aside to that I can discuss this with the other members of leadership."

Tris steps to the side as Max turns and begins talking to the other leaders. It only takes a few minutes of discussion before Max steps back to the microphone and motions for Tris to step back over.

"After discussing your request, the members of leadership have decided unanimously to accept your request and allow you to become the newest Dauntless leader. You will also be able to be a trainer for initiation. Congratulations Tris!"

Tris is beaming as she shakes his hand, steps away, and returns to her seat. The process continues and results in the following job assignments.

Tris - Leadership and Initiation Trainer

Uriah - Control Room and Initiation Trainer

Lynn - Infirmary

Marlene - Infirmary

Will - Control Room

Christina - Tattoo Parlor

Peter - Maintenance

Lukas - Movie Theater

Meg - Fence Guard

Sarah - Shop Keeper

Mat - Fence Guard

April - Custodial

Mike - Shop Keeper

Nikki - Cafeteria

Al - Custodial

Rob - Cafeteria

Drew - Fence Guard

Molly - Fence Guard

All the initiates are given their apartment assignments, except Tris, and Max concludes the ceremony. As soon as it is completed, I walk straight to Tris and have to fight the urge to kiss her right then.

"You think giving you a hug would give away too much?" I say.

"You know," She says. "I really don't care." She then grabs me, stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine. I no longer am worried about if people know about us. Initiation is over, she is an official member of Dauntless, and finally I can publicly say that I am hers and she is mine. This is the best moment of my life.

Tris

I kiss Tobias, gently at first, then it grows more passionate. We stay this way, until I begin to feel like I am being watched and pull away. I look around to see a few of our friends staring at us openly. Christina and Zeke, on the other hand, seem pleased and exchange a quick high five. I just smile, take T.J. by the hand, and head out the door. We can explain to them another day. Right now I just want to be with Tobias and celebrate the official start of our lives together as Dauntless members.

"I am so proud of you Tris." He says as we walk to our apartment.

"You know, I couldn't have done it without you." I reply.

"Thanks for saying that, but I believe you could have. You have no idea just how strong you are, honey. You are amazing!"

He wraps an arm around my back and I reciprocate the action. We remain silent for the rest of the walk home. Once we arrive, he insists that I relax and allow him to prepare our dinner. Neither of us wants to go to the dining hall tonight for dinner, so a quiet diner at home seems wonderful. He makes spaghetti with meat sauce and some garlic bread that we had in the freezer. I set the table and we sit to eat in peace.

We are both exhausted after today and decide to make it an early night. I take a long hot shower while he cleans up dinner, insisting that I not help him. When I am done and ready for bed, he is already in bed, reading a book. I climb in next to him, he places the book on his bedside table, turns off his lamp, and turns to face me. I turn off my lamp and curl tightly into his embrace. He kisses me warmly before I tuck my head onto his shoulder and quickly drift off to sleep, feeling safer and more sure of myself that I ever have.


	52. Unexpected Expectations

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

To answer your question sarah88, there will be no war in this version. There will probably be some inter-faction conflict, but no war.

Here we are ready for the second chapter in our little contest. As of this very moment there is still one spot left for guessing the quote from chapter 51. Please see the note in chapter 51 for the rules. Again, the quote will be bold to make it easier to spot.

Tris

Four weeks. It seems kind of crazy that I have already been in Dauntless for four weeks. And, though it seems like it was yesterday that I was just a girl that did not quite fit in in Abnegation, it also feels like I have been here forever. In four short weeks, I have gone from being terrified that I would not pass initiation, to ranking first and being accepted into leadership. Also in that time I have had my biggest dream come true. Tobias and I can finally, officially, and openly, be together. Since we met just over eight years ago, we have always had to hide our relationship, even when it was purely friendship. Now we are free to be ourselves and discover who we are, and who we can become, together as well as individually. All these changes in the past four weeks is a bit frightening, but more than anything, it is exhilarating. I am happier than I have been in my entire life.

It is Saturday and I have decided that I want to have fun tonight. Also, I want to distract T.J. from his nerves about tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day that he is going to meet both Jake and Lena. He will be meeting Jake in the afternoon and, as long as that goes well, he will meet Lena in the evening. Jake has not even told Lena about meeting Tobias yet, since he doesn't want to get her hopes up incase he changes his mind about meeting them.

I have decided that we need to get together with our friends for dinner, a movie, then a late night at the dance club. None of us have to work until Monday, so we can stay out as late as we want. We talk to Marlene, Zeke, and Lynn, who all agree to pass the information along to the rest of the group and get everyone to join us.

We meet up with the group at 5 in the dining hall. As expected, the moment I see Uriah, he begins asking questions about my relationship with Tobias.

"So, Trissy... when were you planning on telling us about you two?" He asks.

"Us two?" I ask, playing dumb.

"You know very well what I mean. When were you planning to tell us about you and Four? And don't lie to me or I will sick Candor here on you."

"Former Candor!" Christina pipes in.

"Yeah, whatever, I will sick FORMER Candor on you with all her super powers."

"It doesn't matter Uriah, I already know everything anyway. She already told me."

"You already knew?" He asks her. She nods in reply. "How long have you known?" Christina looks to me for permission and I nod.

"Since Monday I guess." She shrugs.

"You have known for almost a week and didn't tell any of us? I think I can speak for the entire group of us when I say that I am hurt." He pouts, hiding a growing smile. "What about you Zeke? You are hurt too, right?"

"Well, baby brother, all I have to say is... I'm not." Zeke replies.

"No, how can that be?" Uriah laughs.

"Maybe because I have known as long as Christina has." He says simply.

"This is even worse... my own brother... keeping secrets from me." He sighs, hands clasped over his heart. He then loses his composure and starts laughing at his own theatrics. "But really, I am happy for the two of you. Will you tell me how long you have been dating?"

"We really just started dating last Sunday, but we have been friends for... a little while longer." Tobias answers, still being vague about how long we have known each other.

"Well, I think it is great. Now we are all dating someone." He says throwing an arm around Marlene's shoulders. She blushes a bit, but leans into his embrace. Strangely, Zeke shoots him a look and clears his throat. "Oh, sorry bro." Uriah says, but does not elaborate, and no one asks.

Thankfully that is all the discussion about our relationship for now, and the rest of the meal is spent talking about random things including our new jobs and apartments. Everyone can move into the apartments tomorrow morning. I am glad to already be settled in with Tobias in his... I mean our apartment, but I don't bring this up, for fear that it will start Uriah up again.

Nearly everyone seems to have an extra amount of energy today, I am guessing, because the stress of initiation is over. The only person that does not seem to be relaxed and having fun, is Christina. There is nothing specific that she is doing or saying that make me think this, there is just something that seems off about her tonight. I don't know, maybe she is just not feeling well.

After dinner, we all head to the movie theater. The movie is a comedy, and it's not the type of movie that I normally like, but tonight I enjoy every minute of it. I think it is probably because of how happy I am right now. Everything in my life seems to be going wonderfully. When the movie ends, we all gather out front and get ready to head to the dance club.

"Tris?" Christina calls out to me. I walk over to her and she motions for me to follow her off to the side.

"What's up Chris?" I ask.

"I think I am going to skip the dance club tonight."

"Oh, come on Chrissy! You know it is going to be so much fun. You always try to drag me along when you go. Come on." I whine.

"Not tonight Tris. I really don't feel up to it." She says glumly.

"Are you ok?"

"I am just feeling a little under the weather and need to get some rest."

"Ok. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorms?"

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think you could ask Four if I could crash on the couch in his apartment tonight. I really don't want to spend the night in the dorms."

"Well, I haven't really mentioned this to anyone yet, but it is my apartment now too."

"So you aren't going to move into your own apartment tomorrow?" She asks.

"Nope. He asked me to move in with him and I agreed."

"That is great, Tris. So I guess I can just ask you. Can I stay the night with you?"

"You can stay over any time you want to Chris."

"Thanks. Do you think I could borrow your key so I can go there now? Also can I borrow some pajamas so I don't have to go get my stuff?"

"You can wear whatever you want. And as far as the key, I am just going to go with you."

"You don't have to do that Tris. You wanted to go out tonight, and I don't want to ruin your fun."

"You are not ruining anything Chrissy. I want to hang out with you tonight and I don't care if that is at the night club or my apartment."

"Are you sure that Four won't mind?"

"He will be fine. I will just tell him that the two of us are heading back and that he should go hang out with Zeke anyway. You stay here, I will be right back and we can leave."

I go tell Tobias that I am heading home with Christina and that he should still go out tonight and he reluctantly agrees. I give him a quick kiss, earning cat-calls from Uriah, who gets a swift smack to the back of his head from Marlene. After that, Christina and I head straight to the apartment and both change into some of my pajamas. We settle in on the couch and I turn on the TV. There is not much on so we settle on watching reruns of an old sit-com.

About a half an hour later, I turn to ask Christina if she wants anything to drink and see that she has tears streaming down her face.

"Hey, Chris, what is the matter?" I ask as I shut off the TV. She does not speak, just shakes her head and looks away as she begins sobbing uncontrollably. "Christina, you are scaring me. What is wrong?"

"I don't think... I am not sure... I just can't talk about it." At this point I am nearly panicking. My mind starts to run a million miles an hour. Is she sick? Is she dying? Is she leaving the faction? This is not the bubbly, loud mouthed, energetic person that I have grown to know. She seems so... broken.

"Chris... you can talk to me about anything. Please tell me what is wrong." I plead.

"I am... I'm... I'm not sure I can talk about it."

"Christina, whatever this is, we can get you through it together."

"I'm not sure that we can." She sighs.

"Yes we can. No matter what it is, we can get through it." I take her hand in mine and give it a gently, reassuring squeeze.

"Pregnant." She whispers.

"What?" I ask, certain that I did not hear her correctly.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh." Is all I am able to say.

"Oh is right."

"How long have you known?"

"I was not feeling well yesterday morning before the Fear Landscape so I got a test at the drug store. When it was positive I decided to get it verified at the infirmary. I went in this morning and they confirmed that it is true. I am going to have a baby."

"Have you told Will?"

"No." She says, looking at her hands twisting in her lap.

"But, how can you know already. You can't be more that a week or two along right?" I ask. She does not reply. "Did they say how far along you are?"

"They did an ultrasound and said that I am... about 7 weeks."

"Seven?! So that means that..."

"Yeah, I was already pregnant when I got here but didn't know it."

"So it's not Will's?"

"It is not."

"Are you sure they are right. Maybe you are not as far along as they think. Maybe it is Will's baby after all."

"It is not Will's baby."

"Are you 100% sure."

"Will and I have never had sex. There is NO POSSIBLE way that this is his baby."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"So the father..."

"I don't even want to think about the father. He is just some random guy from Candor. We were never anything serious. We just used to get together every once in a while. The last time was a few weeks before the choosing ceremony. I don't know how this could have happened. We were always so careful."

"Well, careful doesn't always work." I shrug.

"Obviously." She rolls her eyes, placing a hand on her still flat abdomen.

"Have you told him?"

"I got a message to him in Candor. He thanked me for letting him know, but said that he was not interested in being a part of the baby's life. He offered to send me points if I wanted him to, but I said no. I don't want his pity."

"How are you doing?"

"I wish I knew." She sighs.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Physically... I am fine. A little bit of morning sickness, I guess, but overall not bad. Emotionally on the other hand..." She trails off.

"I get it. You have every right to be upset."

"Upset? Upset doesn't even begin to cover it. I am a total disaster! **It's a miracle I was able to get out of the house today. It's a miracle I'm even wearing pants, a double miracle I remembered to wear shoes.**" I have to stifle a laugh.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Well, I guess in about 33 weeks, I am going to be having a baby."

"Have you decided when you are going to tell Will?"

"That I have not decided. I mean, we just started dating. We are not really even that serious."

"What do you think he will say?"

"I don't know. I know that I won't blame him if he decides to run for the door though. It's not like we are in a committed relationship like you and Four. We are just dating, not really anything more than that. Yeah we make out from time to time, but we both decided that we were going to take it casually for now. I can't really see him wanting to raise a baby with me anytime soon... especially a baby that is not even his."

"Maybe he will surprise you."

"Maybe. But honestly Tris, I doubt it. Can you make me a promise though?"

"I think so." I say hesitantly.

"I need you to promise me that, if he does decide that he does not want to keep seeing me, you won't hate him for it. This is not his fault, and I don't want his friends turning their backs on him if he decides to break it off. I won't hold it against him, and I don't want anyone else to either."

"I can promise you... that I will try." I say. "But Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to tell him as soon as possible. Not just for his sake. You need to know too."

"I know. I will tell him tomorrow morning. But, Tris?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think... can you... will you be with me when I tell him?"

"Of course I will. You can always count on me."

"One more question for you."

"Go for it."

"Would you consider being my baby's godmother?"

"It would be an honor." I beam.

I turn the TV back on and we watch for a while longer, and soon we both fall asleep on the couch. I am awoken by Tobias gently lifting me off the couch and carrying me to the bed. I see that Christina is already laying in the bed, still sound asleep.

"Hey." I whisper. He stops and sets me down to stand in front of him.

"Hey, honey. Go back to sleep, it's late." He replies before giving me a gentle kiss.

"Did you put her in the bed?"

"Yeah. I felt bad having her sleep on the couch. She looked like she was having a bad night earlier, and I didn't want to make her sleep there."

"You never cease to amaze me." I give him another kiss and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Do you know what is wrong with her?"

"I do. But we can talk about that tomorrow."

"We sure can. Now get some sleep."

"Where are you going to sleep?" I ask.

"I will take the couch. You go ahead and share the bed with Christina."

"Ok, but I am not sure how well I will sleep. I have gotten accustomed to using you as a pillow." I smile.

"There's always tomorrow... and the day after that..."

"And the day after that." I interrupt.

"And all the days after that." He grins. He kisses me passionately before leading me to the bed. I climb into bed and watch him turn off the lights, walk to the couch and settle in for the night. Just before I close my eyes I whisper.

"I love you."

"I love you too Tris. Good night."


	53. Pregnant Pause

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Here is chapter three in our five chapter contest. Please see chapter 51 if you need a refresher on the rules.

Christina

I am completely confused when I wake up. The last thing I remember, I was on the couch in Tris and Four's apartment, then when I wake up I am in a bed. I look over and see that there is someone on the other side of the bed, a pillow blocking my view of their face. I sit up to look and see Tris, still fast asleep, snoring and drooling on her pillow.

I am just about to wake her up, when I am overcome by a wave of nausea and have to run to the bathroom to make it in time, not even bothering to close the door. I am still kneeling on the floor, leaning over the toilet, when I feel my hair pulled back and a cool cloth pressed to my neck. I am so grateful for Tris at that moment and am about to thank her for being there when I again begin to vomit. She stays right by my side, holding back my hair, until I am finished.

When I am certain I am done, I sit upright and turn away from the toilet. When I lift my head I am surprised to find that it is not Tris in front of me... it's Four. He smooths back my hair and hands me a glass of cold water, which I gratefully begin to sip. I begin to stand, find that I am quite unsteady on my feet, and begin to sway a bit. Four wraps an arm around my back and helps me regain my balance. He then leads me out of the bathroom and to the couch. He steps away for a moment and then comes back to sit by me, setting a mug of tea and some saltine crackers on the table.

"Try to nibble on these." He motions to the crackers. "They should help with the morning sickness."

"So you know?" I ask, before taking a small bite of a cracker. He only nods. I look and see that Tris is still fast asleep and make sure to whisper. "Did Tris tell you after I went to sleep?"

"Tris didn't tell me." He says, simply.

"Did someone from the infirmary tell you?"

"No one told me."

"Then how do you know?"

"I just sort of put it all together. I saw that you have not been feeling very well recently. Then yesterday I noticed that you kept rubbing your hand across your stomach. And now your little episode this morning."

"I was rubbing my stomach?" I ask, not remembering ever doing that.

"I saw you do it a number of times. I think it is just something that pregnant women do with out thinking about it."

"Do you think anyone else noticed?"

"I doubt it, but who knows."

I sigh and drop my head, staring at my hands, and begin to quietly cry. Then I feel him rub his hand across my back in soothing circles. He hands me a tissue as I keep crying and I bury my face into it. We stay this way for several minutes, until my back starts to hurt from being hunched over. I sit up, and for some reason lean to the side and rest my head on Four's shoulder. He slides his arm around my shoulder and lightly rubs up and down my arm.

"What am I going to do?" I cry.

"Let me ask you this. What do you want to do?"

"I want to go back in time. I want to make sure that I didn't get pregnant before I was ready. But I guess we can't always have what we want. There is no way to turn back time."

"You are for sure right there."

"I am so not ready for this. But, ready or not, I am going to have this baby. I am just not sure I can do this."

"Of course you can do this Chris." He says, and I realize that this is the first time he has ever called me Chris, it has always just been Christina.

"I just never thought that I would be doing this all alone."

"You are not going to be doing this alone. What about Will?"

"That's the thing, Four... it's not Will's baby."

"No?"

"No. I am 7 weeks pregnant. I was already pregnant when I left Candor... I just didn't know it." I say and see his eyes widen in shock.

"Oh, no... that means that you were pregnant when you were going through the fights!"

"Yep." Is all I reply.

"Do you know if everything is ok? I mean, are you sure that it didn't hurt the baby?"

"I went to the infirmary yesterday to confirm that was pregnant. When I asked about that, they did an ultrasound and said that so far everything looks normal. I didn't understand a lot of what they were talking about, but they said that there did not appear to be any trauma to the uterus and that the placenta was healthy and intact. They said that they do not foresee any issues."

"That is great. It would kill me if I knew that I had forced you to fight and it hurt your baby."

"It wouldn't have been your fault anyway. There was no way to know that there was any reason for me not to fight."

"I know that, but..."

"I know, and it is wonderful of you to be concerned, but I think it will be ok. What I am more worried about is figuring out how I am possibly going to raise a baby all by myself."

"Like I said, you are not going to have to do this alone. Even if the baby's father is not going to be there for you, you have Tris, you have your friends... you have me." He smiles.

In that moment, it's as if something in my shifts, something changes. **He unknowingly throws me a lifeline with those words. I am not drowning in worry anymore. I am neck deep and it still washes over me in cold waves, but now I can breathe.** We sit silently for a while longer, me resting my head on his shoulder, and him rubbing lazy circles on my arm. I hear a slight creaking sound, lift my head from his shoulder, and turn to see Tris crossing the room towards us. She smiles, sadly, as she takes a seat on the other side of Four. She reaches over and takes ahold of my hand and gently squeezes.

"You doing ok?" She asks.

"I guess." I shrug.

"She is going to be just fine." Four says, confidently. "We will make sure of that." Tris nods in agreement.

"Tris?"

"Yeah?" She says.

"Did you know that you have the world's best boyfriend?"

"I certainly think that's true." She says before kissing him lightly on the lips.

"What would I do with out you guys?" I sigh.

"Well, it's a good thing that you will not have to find that out." Tris grins.

I decide to take a long hot shower before breakfast and Tris gets me some clean clothes to borrow. When I am done in the bathroom, I see that Tris and Four have made some breakfast. It is nothing big, and thankfully nothing that smells to strong. They have toast with cinnamon and sugar, yogurt, and fruit set out. I join them and the table and we eat in silence. After we are done, Four insists on cleaning up while Tris gets ready.

As soon as she is ready we head out to go find and talk to Will. She gives Four a quick kiss before we leave. I wish I had what they do. I care about Will, and I think he cares about me, but they are on a totally different level. He and I are great friends and we could someday fall in love, but I fear that these new changes may keep that from ever happening.

We first head to the dorms and find that he is not there. After that, we head to the dinning hall and see him sitting with Uriah and Marlene. I suddenly lose my nerve and dart back into the hallway. Tris agrees to go get him for me and take us somewhere private so I can tell him. When Will gets into the hall, he looks at me, and his face suddenly is overcome with a look of confusion and worry. He starts to speak and Tris whispers something in his ear. He nods and she leads us away. We walk until we get to some sort of conference room, we enter, Tris closes the door quietly behind us, and we all take a seat.

"Would one of you please tell me what's going on?" He asks, impatiently.

"Christina has something that she needs to tell you, and you need to promise that you will sit and listen until she is done."

"What is going on? You are really making me nervous." He stammers. I can't help it and start crying again, Will pulls his chair up to face me, and takes my hands into his. "Just tell me Christina."

"I'm... I'm...pregnant." She whispers. At that, he suddenly drops my hands, pushes his chair back, and walks to the far side of the room.

"Will, come back here and listen to her." Tris pleads.

"I just can't... this is crazy... we haven't even... it's just too..." He says while pacing.

"Please, Will, sit down and hear her out." Tris says as she crosses the room and guides him back. He sits back down but does not pull his chair any closer to mine.

"Ok, so I took a test on Friday and when it was positive I went to the infirmary to confirm. They did an ultrasound yesterday and determined that I am seven weeks pregnant. So I was already pregnant when I got here... I just didn't know."

"Oh." He whispers.

"I completely understand if you hate me Will."

"I don't hate you Christina. I couldn't ever hate you. I just... this is all so shocking."

"Tell me about it." I nearly chuckle at the understatement. "I just needed to let you know. But here is the thing, I don't expect anything from you. I will not blame you if you want to end... whatever this is between us."

"Hang on Chris, give me a minute to process this." He says. "What about the baby's father?"

"He doesn't want to be involved and I am not going to force him." He scoots closer and again takes my hands.

"I am sorry that he is doing that. You are too good of a person for that."

"I am not sure I am that good of a person." I shrug.

"You are too Christina, don't sell yourself short. You are a wonderful person. You are the best friend I have ever had."

"That's the thing Will, we are friends. Yeah, we may make out from time to time, but we have never really become more than good friends."

"Christina..." He starts before I interrupt.

"Can you honestly tell me that you are in love with me?"

"Well... I could be... someday."

"That's the thing. You could fall in love with me someday, and I could fall in love with you. But right now... well, it is not just not like that between us. I care about you so much Will, but I really don't think that this is going to work out."

"So you're breaking things off with me?"

"I think it is really for the best. Can you honestly tell me that you are ready for something like this?" I ask. He does not respond. "That's what I thought. And I don't blame you for that. This is not your responsibility and you are not expected to put your life on hold to deal with my... my issues."

"I do really care about you, Christina."

"I know that. And I am going to count on you... to be there for me... as a friend. I am going to need you and the rest of our friends to get through this."

"And I will be there for you... we all will." I pull him closer and wrap my arms around his neck. I stay that way for a few minutes, tucked firmly in his arms before we break away and I look to Tris.

"Thank you Tris. I don't know if I would have been strong enough to get through this on my own."

"Anytime, Chrissy."

We all stand up and walk out of the room, them on either side of me, holding me by the hand... supporting me. If I am going to get through this, I am going to need all my friends by my side, and I have a feeling that I will be just fine.


	54. The Eaton Eyes

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

This chapter has been difficult to actually write. I am not sure what someone would say when they meet a brother and sister that they never knew.

Here is the fourth chapter in our little contest. As usual, the quote is on bold and you can refer to chapter 51 for the rules. This one is a little vague but I googled it to be sure that it shows up with the right answer.

I hope you all enjoy the chapter and I just want to say how much I appreciate all the nice comments. I read each and every one of them. :)

Tobias

I go to meet with Tris and the rest of our friends for lunch in the dining hall, and am the first to arrive. I am glad to see that Christina seems to be doing ok. She comes in with Tris and Will and sits down while they go to get some food. I decide to ask her about the conversation with Will before they get back.

"So?" I ask.

"It was ok." She shrugs.

"What do you mean by ok?"

"Well, he was shocked but he was still very nice to me."

"He had no reason not to be nice to you. It's not like you did anything to intentionally hurt him. So did you guys decide on anything?"

"I decided that it is best if we end our... whatever it is, and just stick to being friends."

"And what did he say about that?"

"He understood and, honestly seemed a little relieved. I don't think he is ready to handle being in a relationship with someone who has a baby."

"You certainly seem like you are feeling better than you were this morning." I laugh.

"I am... and I just have to say that you helped with that."

"I did?"

"Yes. I knew that I would be able to count on Tris with all this, but when you were there for me, I realized that I would have even more support. I know that I will be able to count on all of my friends."

"You can. We will be there for you and your baby." Just as she is about to reply, Uriah, Zeke, Marlene, and Lynn sit down and we end our conversation. Soon after Will and Tris join us.

"Hey Zeke, where is Shauna?" Christina asks. "I haven't seen her in a couple days."

"I don't know." Zeke shrugs.

"I thought that you two were attached at the hip." She laughs.

"Eh, that sort of fizzled out. She is great and all, but I don't think we are really that compatible."

"So is she avoiding you?" Tris asks. "I was really enjoying having her in our little group."

"She is not avoiding him." Lynn pipes in, rolling her eyes. "She has just been working double shifts in the infirmary and has not been here when we've been."

"Glad to know that you didn't completely scare her away." Uriah laughs.

"Can we please talk about something different?" Zeke begs. We all sit in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say next when Christina bangs her hands on the table, making almost everyone jump.

"I'm pregnant!" She exclaims.

"Sure you are. Thanks for trying to change the subject, but I am not buying it." Zeke chuckles.

"It's true, I am pregnant." At that she pulls out a little strip of pictures from her ultrasound. Although they don't look like much yet, it is clear what they are.

"How far along are you?" Marlene asks, while taking the pictures to inspect closer.

"About 7 weeks."

"Seven?!" A few of them say at the same time.

"Yep, seven."

"So you're not..." Uriah says hesitantly, looking at Will.

"I'm not." He replies, placing his arm around Christina's shoulder.

"But you two are... still together?" Lynn inquires.

"Actually, no. I decided that we would be better off just as friends." Christina interjects.

"Well, are you happy about it?" Zeke asks.

"I think I will be eventually." She replies.

"Then I am happy for you too." Uriah nods. "We all are."

"Thanks. It means to world to me that you all will be here for me. I am not sure I can do this all alone."

"You know it, Chrissy. Now... I think we should talk about baby names. I am thinking for a boy it should be Zeke, and for a girl... Uriah." Zeke laughs.

"Really, Uriah for a girl?" Uriah asks.

"Why not, it is suited you well for the last 16 years, why would it not be good for ANOTHER little girl." Zeke laughs.

"Oh, you are in trouble now, big brother!" Uriah glares.

"And what do you think you are going to do about it?" Zeke dares. In reply, Uriah launches himself over the table and the two of them begin wrestling on the floor.

While they are still causing a commotion, Tris and I say goodbye to Christina and head out of the dining hall. We are schedule to meet with Jake in 20 minutes and she wants to get there before he arrives. We head to an area just outside the pit where there is a shady spot near the train tracks. Tris figures that it will be easier to meet in a relaxed environment. When we get there, I walk a little bit further away, so that Tris can talk to Jake for a moment before she brings me over to meet him. I am grateful that she understands me so well and knows what I need to make this as easy as possible.

Tris

Once we arrive at the meeting location, I give T.J. a quick kiss before he walks away. I sit down, leaning against a tree, while I wait for Jake to arrive. I see him from a distance and stand up to be sure that he can see me. He waves, smiling brightly when he sees me and walks over. He gives me a friendly hug before he speaks.

"Hi Tris."

"Hey, how are you Jake?"

"I am ok, a bit nervous though."

"You have nothing to worry about. He won't bite." I laugh. This seems to alleviate some of the tension and Jake laughs too.

"So is he here? Was he able to get to Dauntless ok?" He asks.

"He is here, but I wanted to talk to you for a minute before he comes over."

"Ok?" He says hesitantly.

"First off, I am closer to him than I let you believe. I have actually known him for the last 8 years. Second, he actually didn't have any trouble getting into Dauntless... because he lives here. He has been here for the past two years."

"He is in Dauntless!? So have lived in the same faction as my brother for the past two years and never knew it? This is insane!"

"Third, you have actually met him once."

"I did? When was that?"

"When you joined us for a movie... he was there. You were introduced to him, but you probably don't remember him specifically."

"I wish I had been paying better attention. Honestly I was distracted by you."

"And the fourth thing is… you know when you asked me out and I said that I had a boyfriend? Well, it's him."

"You have got to be kidding me. Great move Jake, flirting with you little brother's girlfriend. And that thing I said about giving me a chance if things ended between the two of you? I am so sorry. Does he know about that?"

"It's ok Jake! You didn't do anything wrong. And no, he does not know about any of that. I didn't think it necessary to tell him. I just wanted to clear a few things up before I get him. Is there anything that you want to ask me before I go get him?"

"Just one thing. What is his name? You never told me."

"Well, that is a tricky question."

"It is?"

"Yep. He actually goes by a different name here in Dauntless than he did in Abnegation, he goes by Four. In fact there are only a couple people that know his real name. So, I think it is best if I let him decide if he wants to tell you. I will go get him and I will be right back."

Tobias

I see Tris walking around the corner towards me, smiling brightly.

"Are you ready?" She asks. In this moment I am not sure if I will ever actually be ready.

"I guess." I shrug.

"Babe, it will be fine." She takes my face in her hands and gives me a quick kiss before taking my hand and leading me towards where Jake is.

"I wish I believed you." I murmur.

"It will be. Oh, one thing... he doesn't know your real name. I figured it was up to you to decide if you want to tell him that." Once we get to where Jake is standing, Tris drops my hand and looks at Jake.

"Four, this is Jake. Jake this is Four."

"It's nice to meet you Four." He says, extending his hand to shake mine. I return the gesture and we all stand in awkward silence for a few moments.

"So... why don't we have a seat and get to know each other a little better." Tris says, breaking the silence. I sit down next to Tris and Jake sits to face us. It is almost reassuring to me that he looks as uncomfortable as I feel.

Tris

"So, um... Four... that's an interesting name." Jake rambles.

"My initiate instructor gave it to me." Tobias shrugs.

"That's nice. And he is...?"

"Dead." He states simply.

"Oh... sorry. Umm... Tris tells me that you transferred two years ago? So you are 18?"

"Yep. And you are?"

"19. We will be 20 next month... on the 7th."

"So you were born in November too? Four will be 19 on the 29th." I pipe in. More awkward silence.

This goes on for a few little while. Nothing really significant in their conversation, just idle chit chat about jobs, hobbies, and other light topics. It is nothing really in depth, but it's a start.

"Hey, Jake, do you mind if I talk to Four alone for just a minute?" I ask, having an idea that I want to talk to Tobias about before I bring it up.

"Sure. Want me to go somewhere?"

"That's ok, you stay here. We will be right back." I smile. T.J. stands and then helps me to my feet. We walk just far enough away to not be heard before I speak again. "You doing ok?"

"I am fine. This is just... I don't know... really awkward." He replies.

"I wouldn't expect it any other way. So here is what I was thinking. What if we invite Jake and Lena to our apartment for dinner tonight. That way you can meet her and spend a bit more time with him, and maybe it will be more comfortable if we are home."

"I don't know Tris. This is all just so strange."

"I know it is T.J., but it won't ever get better unless you spend some time together. Like I said, he is a nice guy, and if Lena is anything like him, I am sure she is nice too."

"Logically, I know you are right, but..." He trails off.

"I know. Emotionally, it seems impossible. But it is possible for you to get comfortable with them. Who knows, maybe someday you will be really close. You and I know pretty much everything about each other right? And that didn't happen in a day, so you have to give this time. Maybe you will never be as close as if you had grown up together, but you can have a relationship with them. You owe it to yourself to give it a chance."

"Trissy, what would I do without you?"

"Well, it's a good thing that you will never have to find that out. Now lets get back over there and invite him to dinner."

"OK. I may need another one of these pep talks later though."

"Anytime, my love, anytime." At that, we head back to Jake.

"So, Jake, Four and I were talking and we were wondering if you and Lena might be able to join us for dinner at our apartment... at about 6."

"I know that I am free, and I am pretty sure she is too, so that sounds good. What can we bring?"

"You don't need to bring anything." I say.

"Please let me bring something." Jake smiles.

"OK, well if you insist... maybe you can bring some dessert."

"Dauntless chocolate cake OK? It's my favorite."

"That would be great. It's his favorite too." I say gesturing to Tobias. This makes Jake smile, as if he is happy to have found a small connection between the two of them. "Alright, it's a plan. So you bring your sister and meet us at apartment 426. We will head out now to get ready and will see you then."

"Sounds great. Well... bye until then." He stands and we head our separate ways.

We stop at the grocery store and pick up the supplies for dinner. We decide to make something simple, but delicious. We are going to have salad, chili, and cornbread. When we get to the apartment, I start cooking the chili while T.J. puts together the salad and gets the cornbread batter mixed and in the oven. Once that is done, we straighten up the apartment a little, though it never gets very messy anyway.

Once the cornbread is out of the oven an cooling, we decide to relax, since we still have nearly three hours until they are schedule to arrive. We curl up on the couch together and turn on a strange show. **A reality show about a group of children attempting to run their own small country.** I tune it out pretty quickly, and before I know it I am drifting off to sleep. I awaken to a gentle kiss on my forehead and open my eyes to see Tobias leaning over me. I pull him down again and kiss him firmly.

"That was a nice way to wake up." I smile.

"Well, I aim to please, my dear." He chuckles. "It's quarter to six, they should be here anytime." As if on cue, there is a knock at the door.

"I've got it." I say, standing. I give him a quick peck on the lips and head to the door. I open it and see Jake as well as a girl, I assume to be Lena. She is several inches shorter than Jake, but still much taller than I am. She has long dark hair and fair skin, looking very different from Tobias and Jake. But her eyes... it is remarkable… all three Eaton siblings have the same eyes.

"Hey, Tris, this is Lena. Lena this is Tris." He says. I start to reach out for a hand shake, when she launches herself towards me and gives me a tight hug.

"It is so nice to meet you Tris. My brother has told me wonderful things about you." She beams.

"Oh, he has, has he?" I laugh.

"Yep, about you and our... well... umm... Four." She stammers slightly.

"Well how about you both some inside?" I smile. There is something familiar about her that I just can't put my finger on yet. They follow me in, where Tobias is waiting by the dining table.

"Lena, this is..."

"Four!" She exclaims as she crosses the room to give him a hug. "I am so happy to finally be meeting you. I have been waiting for this… for basically my entire life. I am so surprised to see you here in Dauntless. I mean, after all these years of wondering who you are and how you are doing, here you are. It's so crazy that you transferred to Dauntless two whole years ago and now we finally meet. It's just that..."

"Lena!" Jake says, putting a hand on her arm. "Slow down. Sorry, she gets like this when she is excited." Then I realize what is familiar about her. She is just like Christina. She is even dressed like Christina, down to her ridiculously high heeled shoes. I laugh when this realization comes to me.

"What?" Jake asks, seeming amused.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that Lena should meet our friend Christina. I think they would get along quite well." I grin, and T.J. laughs at that. "So, would you two like to have a seat and we will get dinner on the table?"

"Thanks, here is dessert as promised." I take the cake and set it on the counter. Jake and Lena have a seat at the table while we get the food and set it out.

During dinner, we exchange polite conversation, and after I brew some tea to have with dessert. After we have eaten our fill of cake we head to the living room area and settle in. I can tell that Tobias is actually getting more and more comfortable as the evening progresses. He is laughing openly and even initiating some of the conversations. It is wonderful to see him becoming more at ease with the two of them. I think it is, in part, thanks to Lena and her easy going personality. The more time I spend with her, the more I like her, and the more she reminds me of Christina. I make a mental note that I need to introduce them some day.

Jake is so much like T.J. that it is almost frightening. Not only do they look alike, but they have so many mannerisms that are the same, they way they sit, they way they use their hands when they speak. Like Tobias, Jake seems to take a while to warm up and join into the conversation, which is likely the reason for the amount of awkwardness this afternoon. But once they are comfortable, they both talk with such ease and charisma, that it is easy to relax around them.

We spend a couple hours together, just sitting and talking about everything and nothing. When they finally decide to leave, we all stand and T.J. and I walk them to the door. Tobias and Jake exchange a hand shake and Jake gives me a, slightly awkward, side hug. Lena, on the other hand, gives us each a crushing hug.

"We need to do this again... very soon." She exclaims.

"Yes we do." Tobias agrees.

"Well, goodnight Tris. Goodnight Fou..." Jake begins before Tobias interrupts.

"Tobias... it's Tobias." He says.

"Goodnight... Tobias." Jake smiles.

They walk away and I close the door behind them. I feel Tobias wrap his arms around my waist from behind, and I lean into his embrace.

"See, that wasn't too bad." I smile.

"You were right. I am glad we did it."

"So you think you'll see them again?"

"I will. I don't think I am ready to reveal all my secrets to them, but I don't think it will be bad to get to know them better." He shrugs.

"And speaking of secrets..." I turn around in his embrace to face him. "Your name. I didn't expect you to tell them that."

"Honestly, Tris, I didn't either. It just sort of... seemed right at the moment. I just hope that I don't regret that later."

"I don't think you will. Jake knows that you keep that to yourself, so I don't think he will tell anyone."

"I think we can call this a successful evening, but I am really tired. I want to go take a shower. Do you want to take one first?"

"No, I think I will wait until morning." I say stretching into a yawn.

He gathers some clothes to change into and heads into the bathroom. I change into my pajamas, grab the book I am reading off the bookshelf, and climb into bed. When he walks out of the bathroom, I put the book on the side table and shut off my lamp when he reaches the bed. He climbs in next to me and I settle myself into the spot on his shoulder that has become so comfortable to me.

"Good night T.J." I whisper.

"Good night, my love." He kisses the top of my head. "And Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being there with me today."

"I will always be there with you, and for you, when you need me."

"I love you."

"And I love you... always have, always will."


	55. Leadership

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Again, I am getting stuck in "what now" mode. I have future things planned but am struggling to get there. If you have ideas that you would like to see in the sotry, let me know and I will see if I can make it work.

Here is the last chapter in our little contest. Again, the quote is in bold and the rules are in chapter 51. Maybe another contest will come in the future.

Tris

Monday morning seems to come far to quickly. I hardly got any sleep last night. I woke up about every hour thinking of things that I needed to remember for starting my job tomorrow. I want to hit the ground running, and have lists of things that I would like to discuss with the other leaders. Being the youngest leader that they have, I want to make sure that I am prepared. I will earn their trust and respect.

When 7 am finally rolls around, I am up quickly, which is far from normal for me. T.J. and I have a quick breakfast and then I head to meet Max in his office. We have a meeting with the other members of leadership to discuss changes to our roles that he has in mind. Max and I head to the conference room and I see that Lexa, Zander, and Grace have already arrived. I take a seat and Max passes out some files from his bag.

"OK. Thank you all for meeting with me this morning. First off, I would like to welcome Tris to her first day in Dauntless leadership." Max nods at me.

"Thank you." I smile.

"Now moving on to our agenda. The first thing that we have to discuss is the re-distribution of leadership roles and responsibilities. As you all are aware that Lexa has asked to step down from her leadership position. Although I am sad to see her step down as a leader, I will respect her decision and support her transition to another job. That being said, we will then have an empty seat to fill. I have a member in mind to take this seat and would like to get the group's opinion and any other suggestions. First I will start with suggestions."

"I am going to suggest Gregory from the payroll office." Lexa says.

"OK. I would like to group's opinions on Gregory. Please be honest but fair with your opinions." Max says, writing some notes.

"I have to disagree with that recommendation." Zander says. I can tell that Lexa is annoyed by this.

"Please explain." Max says.

"Well, I have been working with the payroll department for the past 6 months and I have worked directly with Gregory. He is a decent manager there, but I don't feel that he has the organizational skills that are needed for this job. Have you seen his office? It is a total disaster. I had to spend two hours with him just last month, looking for some paperwork that he was supposed to turn in two weeks before. I have been helping him get organized, and he is improving, but I don't think he is ready."

"Any other comments?" Max looks at us all. "OK. I think I agree with Zander and will remove Gregory from the running. Any other recommendations?" No one responds and he continues. "OK. I know that you are all familiar with my choice, since I have brought this up before. So, I would like you all to discuss my recommendation of offering the remaining leadership position to Four."

"Do you think he would actually accept? I know you have offered it to him before and he declined." Grace asks.

"Although I can't be certain, I feel that circumstances may have changed enough to make him reconsider." He says as he subtly looks my way.

"And those circumstances would be?" Grace persists.

"For one, I know that one reason he declined the last time he was offered, was because of personality conflicts with an existing leader, which is no longer an issue. Second, I have been working with him more closely with Training and Initiation matters, and have discussed this with him. I feel that he would be our best option at this time."

"And if he declines again?"

"Then we will pursue other candidates." Max shrugs. "Do we have any objections or further discussion?"

"Not here." Grace replies. The others shake their heads.

"OK, then I think we should vote now." Max continues. I feel unsure about voting on this and decide to get Max's attention.

"Um... Max?" I say, hesitantly.

"Yes, Tris."

"Do you want me to vote?"

"Right, if you feel that you should opt out from this, they you may."

"Yes please." I respond, grateful that he is not putting me in this position.

"Why would she opt out?" Lexa asks.

"May I explain Tris?" Max asks me. I nod in reply. "Well, Tris and Four are in a relationship and I am guessing that she feels it would not be appropriate for her to vote on this. I would tend to agree.

"I see. I agree, she should not vote." Grace adds.

"OK. So I would like to ask you all to vote. All in favor of offering the, soon to be vacant, leadership position to Four... please say I." They all vote in favor of this decision. "Alright, so the decision is made. We will have him join us for our meeting at 3pm and will offer it at that time. Now, onto other business."

The meeting continues for a few more hours, as we are deciding on the changes to leadership responsibilities. In the end it is divided up between the five leaders.

I will be responsible for Training, Initiation, Housing, Job Placement, and Job Relations.

Tobias, if he accepts, will be responsible for Training, Initiation (Max decided that since we are both going to be Trainers, we should both have this responsibility), IT departments, and Education.

Grace will be in charge of Inter-faction Relations, Inter-faction Meetings, and Security.

Zander will be in charge of Payroll, Conflict Resolution, and Faction Infrastructure.

Max is in charge of any areas not covered as well as overseeing all other leaders in their jobs.

"OK, so I think that covers everything that we have to discuss this morning. You are all dismissed to return to your regular duties until our meeting at three. Tris, please wait for me and I will see you to your office." All the other leaders leave and Max and I stand and walk down the hall.

"So here is your office. It is not much now but you can redecorate as you see fit. I have had 2000 points added to your account for that purpose and you can feel free to spend the afternoon working on it." He opens the door to a large room. It is sparsely furnished, but it is beautiful. One wall is entirely made of windows, revealing the entire skyline. I am in awe and just stand in the middle looking around. "So you approve?" Max laughs. I nod. I look around and see two doors flanking the room.

"Where are those doors to?" I ask.

"Well that one is to your private restroom, and the other is to the adjoining office."

"Who is in that office?"

"Currently it is Lexa's office, so it will be used by the next leader." Max grins. "Well, I will leave you to get settled in. I will see you this afternoon, but Tris?"

"Yes?"

"If you see Four before our meeting, please refrain for mentioning the offer."

"Certainly." I smile.

I take a seat at my beautiful and HUGE mahogany desk and can't help but smile. To think that a month ago I was just little Beatrice Prior, a less than selfless girl in Abnegation grey, and now look at me. I am, not only the top ranking initiate of the year with the second lowest number of fears in Dauntless history, but I am the newest member of leadership. I am nervous about what is to come and how well I will do, but I am thrilled at the possibilities.

I head to the dining hall for lunch, feeling light as air. When I arrive I grab my food and take a seat between Tobias and Christina, pausing to give T.J. a quick peck. I can't get the smile off my face.

"Well look at you, Miss Leader." Uriah laughs.

"Yeah, you are positively glowing Tris." Christina adds. "Leadership suits you well, unless... unless you are pregnant too."

"Well, I am for sure not pregnant. I guess that glow is just naturally me." I laugh.

It is all I can do to keep quiet about what is going to happen in our meeting this afternoon, but I manage to hold my tongue. We continue our lunch as normal and Christina and I decide to go shopping for my new office after lunch today, since the tattoo parlor is closed this afternoon. We head from store to store, picking out all the things I need for my new office, and some that only Christina thinks I need. Christina really is the one to pick everything out, I just go along with her decisions. Once we are done, we head back, get everything put away, and put up the decorations. I step back and take a look around. It looks absolutely stunning in here.

"Chris... it's perfect... thanks to you. I am not sure how you do it. "

"**I can't help it. One can never help being born into perfection.**" She grins.

"Alright, miss perfection. I have to get going to my afternoon meeting. How about you plan on coming to the apartment for dinner tonight... at about 6?"

"Sounds good. See you then.

I head to the conference room and am the first to arrive. I set out cups of water for each of us and start looking through some paperwork that I brought from my office while I wait. Max walks in, followed by the other leaders, and they all take a seat. At precisely 3pm the intercom buzzes and Cassia announces that Four is here for the meeting. Max asks for him to be sent in and a moment later he walks in. He looks completely calm and confident, though I am sure he is a bit nervous.

"Thanks for meeting with us Four." Max begins. "Do you know why we asked you to join us this afternoon?"

"Well, I have my guesses, but not for sure."

"OK. As you know, Lexa has decided to step down from her role in leadership, which leaves us with an empty position. I decided not to fill that position from this year's class of initiates because I am hoping that you will reconsider your previous decision and accept this position. We, as a group, have decided that you would be the best fit for the vacancy in leadership and would like to officially offer you the job. Now, before you say anything, I just want to point out to you that I remember your previous oppositions and that those issues no longer exist. We are going to be working to make some major changes and improvements to our Faction, and we think that you should be a part of it."

"Before I make a decision, I have a couple questions for you." Max nods and Tobias continues. "First, what would my job consist of?"

"Your role would be to assist Tris in all duties related to Initiation and Training. You would also be responsible for overseeing the IT department, as well as the education department. The other leadership responsibilities have been divided up between the other members of leadership."

"That sounds good. My next question is in regards to how much independence I would have in my decisions regarding my areas."

"While, I will be overseeing all the leaders in their jobs, you will be the main decision maker for your particular assignments. The other members of leadership can provide you with their opinions as needed, but the eventual decisions will be yours... with my involvement only as required."

"OK, my last question is in regards to... well, any policies that may be in place for relationships between members of leadership. As you know..."

"There is no issue there." Max cuts him off. "We are aware of your relationship status and have agreed that there is no cause for concern."

"Alright. I... accept your offer." Tobias smiles.

"Very well." Max nods. "Do we have any other discussion on this?"

"I have something." Lexa says.

"Yes?"

"I would like to officially put in my two weeks notice." She smiles.

"I expected that." Max laughs. "Your notice of resignation is accepted. Four, you will begin your training and leadership duties tomorrow morning."

"What about my job in the control room?"

"I will have that covered while they train your replacement. I would like you and Tris both to meet me in my office at 9 am tomorrow and we will begin your training. Until Lexa has completed her two weeks, I will ask that you and Tris share her office. Once your office is available, you can move in there. I trust you two can get along, sharing that space for the time being."

"I think that will be just fine." I laugh.

"Then we are all set. Thank you all for your time today, and Four... welcome to Dauntless leadership. You are all dismissed to enjoy the rest of your day."

We all stand to leave the office and all the leaders shake Tobias' hand as they leave. When they are all gone, I give him a big hug and kiss him firmly on the lips.

"Did you know he was going to do that when I saw you earlier?" He asks.

"Yep."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"Max said not to." I smile.

"I can't believe you were able to pull of keeping a secret from me. I always know when you have something going on."

"It was far from easy. So, do you want to see my... well our office, for the next two weeks?"

We head to my office and I rearrange a few things so that he is able to share my desk, sitting on the opposite side. We head to the sitting area, sit on the couch, and put our feet up on the coffee table.

"So, what do you think?" I ask.

"I think it will do just fine." He says before kissing me.

"Over there..." I gesture to one of the doors. "Is the door to the bathroom. And there..." Pointing to the other door. "Is the adjoining office. That will be your office."

"Oh, so I can get over here to you anytime I want? I think I am going to like that." He grins.

"Well, you know, we are going to be working very closely together." I say closing the gap between us. He leans in, expecting a kiss, and I pop up off the couch and walk across the room.

"No fair, Tris." He grumbles.

"Who said life is fair." I laugh, crossing back to him, and pulling him to his feet. "Now let's get going. We need to stop at the store to get something to fix for dinner. I invited Christina and she is always hungry because of the pregnancy."

"We better get lots then because Zeke invited himself for dinner tonight and he is always hungry because... well, he just is." He laughs.

We head to the store and get salad, steaks, potatoes, vegetables, rolls, and 3 whole Dauntless chocolate cakes. We prepare everything that we can do ahead of time, leaving only the steaks to cook. When Zeke and Christina both arrive, we cook the steaks and sit down to eat. I am glad we bought extra, because between Zeke's normal appetite and Christina "eating for two", we go through a lot of food.

When we are ready for cake, I make a pot of tea, grab one of the cakes from the fridge, and cut each of us a slice. Zeke looks at his slice disapprovingly.

"What's the matter Z? Not in the mood for cake." I smirk.

"You know me better than that T. I am always in the mood for cake. It's just that the piece you gave me is so small it makes me sad. I mean, look at Christina's piece, it is way bigger than mine." He pouts.

"Well, I am eating for two after all. So I deserve a bigger piece than you." Christina laughs.

"Whatever, you probably can't even eat all that anyway."

"You shouldn't doubt my abilities Zekers. Never underestimate a pregnant woman's abilities to eat."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pregnant or not, I could eat you under the table any day."

"Put your money where your mouth is!" Christina says smugly.

"You name the time and place." Zeke retorts.

"Here and now seems good to me."

"Ok, so what our wager?"

"Tris, is there more cake?" She asks me. I stand and get out the other two cakes. "Very good. 50 points to whoever is able to finish an entire cake first. And Zeke, I hope you don't mind losing to a girl."

"I don't mind one bit, especially since there is NO WAY you are ever going to beat me."

"You have no idea what you are up against..." Christina begins but is cut off.

"Are you two just going to talk about it all night or are you actually going to eat the cake?" Tobias says, taking a bite of his slice of cake.

I set a cake in front of each of them, hand them a fork, and announce for them to start. Zeke seems to attack his cake, shoveling mounds into his mouth at a time, while Christina seems to be taking her time. Zeke laughs and comments that she is never going to keep up at that pace, but she seems unfazed and continues in her methodical strategy. In less than 5 minutes they have both nearly completed their entire cake. Zeke has slowed down his pace a bit, but Christina is still going at it full steam. Just at the 6 minute mark, Christina places the last bit of cake into her mouth and stands triumphantly.

"Pay up Zekers!" She taunts.

"I don't know how, but I am sure you cheated." He laughs.

"Aww... is Zekey a sore loser?" She says with a pout. "Does he need a pacifier and a little nap after losing so hard?"

"Come on! I didn't lose by that much... only about 2 or 3 bites."

"Do you need some help finishing that up?" She says with a wide grin.

Christina reaches over and scoops up the remaining cake off of Zeke's tray and smashes it in his face. He laughs and swipes some of it off with one finger. As he reaches over to wipe it on her cheek, she turns her head and licks the cake off his finger. "Yum." She shrugs. "Never too much cake." He grabs a napkin and cleans himself up, before grabbing his phone and transferring the points to Christina's account.

"I want a rematch." He demands.

"Anytime, my friend, anytime." She says, hands on her hips. "I will take all the points that you want to send my way."

They hang around until about 10 when Tobias and I, not so subtly, let them know that we are tired and want to go to sleep. Once they are gone, we take turns taking a shower and then climb into bed. We sit quietly, reading our books for a little while, and I realize that this is what I want for the rest of my life. I want to spend every day like this... doing a job I enjoy, spending time with friends, and going to bed with the love of my life. I am not sure that life could get much better than it is now.


	56. Hormones

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

And we have a winner. The winner of the contest, who will receive a 5 dollar Amazon e-gift card is... cm103350. Please PM me your e-mail address so I can get your giftcard sent to you. Thanks to all who participated. I would also like to mention that in second place is PMakepeace98. On with the story.

Time lapse... 5 weeks later.

Christina

Tris and I are headed to my prenatal appointment at the infirmary. I am glad she has been able to leave work to come with me to my appointments. I COULD do this alone... but I really don't want to. Once I get checked in and put in a room, I take out my little notebook. I have a bunch of questions to ask my midwife and Tris recommended that I write them all down so I don't forget. When my midwife, Chelsea, comes in the room, she asks me if I am ok with her student assisting. I agree and, shortly after, Marlene walks into the room. It is a little awkward at first, but I am glad to have one more person supporting me through this.

We start out with a physical examination, which is pretty simple, and then Chelsea brings out a strange looking device. It is a small unit with a screen, attached to some sort of a wand. She explains that this is a fetal Doppler so we can listen to the baby's heartbeat. She hands the device to Marlene, who squirts some jelly on my stomach and then begins moving the Doppler across it. As she continues to scan my stomach, looking for a heartbeat, I begin to panic. The longer it is taking her, the more I fear that there is no heartbeat. I feel hot tears falling from my eyes, but make no sound.

"Mar?" I hear Tris whisper. I look and see Tris gesture to me, and Marlene nod.

"It's ok Christina, I didn't mean to scare you. I am just not very good with this yet. Do you want Chelsea to take over?" Marlene

"Please." I croak out.

"Ok, I've got it from here." Chelsea says as she takes the Doppler from Marlene. Mere seconds later I hear the most amazing sound I have ever heard in my entire life. It does not sound like I expected, but I instantly know that I am hearing the sound of my baby's heart. That beautiful, whooshing sound, that means my baby is alive and strong.

"It sounds so fast." I saw in awe.

"It is perfect." Chelsea smiles.

"Tris, that is my baby." I laugh, wiping away the tears that still run down my face.

"I know, and she sounds perfect."

"She?" I ask. "How can you be sure?"

"I'm not." She shrugs. "But I don't want to keep calling the baby 'it'."

"Works for me."

The rest of the exam goes smoothly. After that is done she gives me a chance to ask her the questions that I have written down. Mostly things about my diet, activity, exercise, and what physical changes I can expect. I also have to ask her about one thing that is really bugging me. I am having major mood swings lately. One moment I am as happy as can be, and the next I am ready to rip someone's head off. My friends, particularly Zeke for some reason, have gotten the brunt of it. Thankfully they have not held it against me. She says it is simply my hormones going crazy and I just have to ride it out.

When we head out of the infirmary, I insist that we go straight to the dining hall, because I am absolutely starving. We are earlier than usual, and there are not too many people there yet. We grab our food and head to our normal table. I am completely finished with my lunch, and am still hungry, when I see Zeke, Four, and Uriah come walking in. They come over to the table before they head to get some food.

"Hey, could one of you get me something to eat?" I smile.

"Didn't you just finish?" Uriah says, gesturing to my empty plate. I am instantly angry.

"Seriously, Uriah! Where do you get the right to judge what and how much I am eating? Have I ever said anything to you about how much you eat!" Crap another mood swing. I know I am being irrational, but I can't seem to stop.

"I'm sorry Chris, I didn't mean anything by it really." He says.

"Sure you didn't. I know what you are thinking. Look at the poor fat pregnant girl, can't seem to stop eating." The next thing I know I feel a set of hands on my arms guiding me to sit back down. I hadn't even realized that I had stood up. I turn and see that it is Zeke. He gives Uriah a look and nods towards the food counter. Uriah turns and walks away.

"You ok?" Zeke says, a bit concerned.

"Yeah." I say gruffly.

"Ok. Because I don't want to be forced to restrain you, and I can't have you going off and killing my baby brother." He laughs. He pats me on the head, which earns him a glare, and heads to get his own food.

A few minutes later, they all return with their food and two extra trays, one with a hamburger, fries, and fruit salad, the other with slices of cake and pie. Zeke sits next to me and Uriah sits across from him, next to Tris.

"Hey, Uri." I say and he looks up from his meal. "I am really sorry. I just seem to lose control lately."

"It's fine Christina." He shrugs.

"No, it's not." I shake my head.

"Chris, it's just your hormones. Remember what Chelsea said this morning." Tris interjects.

"I know that, but I really should be able to control myself better."

"Well until that happens, we will just have to be sure to keep all sharp objects away from you." Zeke says, while pulling my knife away from me. I jokingly elbow him in the gut and he reacts like I shot him. This seems to have served it's purpose, because the next thing I know, I am laughing hysterically.

"Ugh... these hormones." I laugh.

"It's not just your hormones this time. I am just naturally funny... not to mention handsome, talented, exceptionally gifted at..." Zeke starts.

"Tris?" I cut him off. "Can I borrow your knife?" Zeke casually wraps an arm around my shoulder and laughs.

"You wouldn't want to hurt me, would you? Then who would you have for entertainment?"

We go back to eating and I manage to eat the second plate of lunch that they brought me, as well as three slices of cake. I am finally full, when all of the sudden I feel incredibly sick to my stomach. I jump up and dart to the bathroom, not even making it to the toilet, before I empty the contents of my stomach in the trash can. Tris comes in right behind me and rubs my back until I am finished. She gets me a cup of water to wash out my mouth and we head out of the bathroom. Zeke and Four are waiting just outside the door.

"Not a word!" I say, pointing an accusing finger at Zeke.

"I wouldn't dare."

"Well, it seems I scared Uriah off." I say, noting that he left.

"Nah. He doesn't scare that easily, after all he has lived with me for his entire life. He had to get back to work. And speaking of work... I need to leave too." Zeke says before turning and walking away.

"Yeah, we better go too." Four says, grabbing Tris by the hand.

"You coming over for dinner tonight?" Tris asks.

"What are you having?" I ask, still feeling a bit queasy.

"Just chicken and rice. Nothing special."

"Nothing special sounds good. I will see you at 6."

After they leave, I decide to wander around for a while, since I have the whole day off of work. I go to a few of the stores in the pit, admiring clothing, that all too soon will be way to tight. At 12 weeks pregnant, I am still not showing at all, though some of my pants are getting a bit snug. I decide to head into a maternity store to see what my future wardrobe choices are. It is really not too bad and I pick up a couple shirts and a cute pair of leggings.

After that, I can't resist the draw of the baby store. I look around for a bit, and am totally overwhelmed by all the things I am going to need when this baby is born. I start feeling a bit dizzy and find a nice rocking chair to sit in. I make a mental list of things I want to get and then start to leave the store. Just by the front door I see the most adorable outfit I have ever seen. I almost start crying the moment I see it. It is a black onesie with a rhinestone heart and a black lace skirt. I can't resist and buy it on the spot. If this baby is a boy... well I will save it to give someone else.

After that, I am too tired to do anything else, so I head back to my apartment. I start looking around, planning changes I will need to make, and am very grateful that I was given a two bedroom apartment. I will have plenty of space for the baby and all the stuff he or she will need.

I lie down in my room and before too long, I am fast asleep. I am suddenly awoken by pounding at my door. I pull myself up and stumble to the door, still half dazed from sleep. When I open it, I see Tris, Four, and Zeke, all looking worried.

"Hey." I croak. "What's wrong?"

"Are you ok?" Tris asks, coming into the apartment.

"I am fine. Why?"

"Well, when you didn't show up for dinner we started calling you. You didn't answer so we got worried."

"What time is it?"

"It is 7:15."

"Wow, I slept for 4 hours? Sorry to worry you. I guess I left my phone out here when I went to take my nap."

"I'm just glad you are ok." She smiles. "Still want to come over for dinner?"

"You guys didn't eat?"

"No, we were worried about you so we waited. The chicken is probably dry, but it shouldn't taste bad."

"Works for me." I say, slipping on my shoes.

We head to their apartment and just as we get to their door, the dizzy feeling returns. I sway a bit on my feet, and it must be noticeable because I then feel a steadying hand on my back.

"You OK?" Zeke asks.

"I think so, I am just a bit dizzy."

"Let's get you inside to sit down." Four says, coming to my other side. They walk me to the couch and help me get settled and Zeke sits next to me.

"Do you want me to call for a medic?" Tris asks.

"No, I'm fine. Maybe I am just a bit dehydrated. Could you get me some water?" I say. At that, Zeke jumps off the couch, hurriedly gets me a glass of ice water, and brings it back, returning to his previous seat.

"Such great service." I smile.

I sit and sip on my water for a few minutes, until the feeling has passed. Once I am able to assure them that I am fine, I get up and we all go to the table to eat dinner. We take our usual seats at the table and dig in. This has become a normal routine for us in the last few weeks. I have had dinner here with Tris and Four at least 3 times a week for the past month. Zeke is almost always here with us, and the rest of our friends have come a few times. This, spending time with my friends, is what makes me happy. This is what I want for my baby, to grow up surrounded by the love of our little group... our little dysfunctional family.

"Chrissy?" Tris asks, tentatively.

"Yeah?" I ask in reply.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You are crying." She says.

"I am?" I had not even realized that I had tears running down my face. I dab at them with my napkin. "I guess I am. Stupid hormones."

"Are you upset about something?" Zeke asks.

"No."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I am not sure I can explain it. I was just thinking about how lucky my baby is going to be, to grow up with you guys, and our other friends in his life."

"His?" Zeke questions. "So you know that it's a boy?"

"No. But Tris has started calling the baby her, so I decided to go with him. I do sort of feel like it is a boy anyway." I smile. "I won't be able to find out if it is a boy or girl for at least another month, maybe two. It depends on whether or not I can convince them to try and see at 16 weeks or if they will insist on waiting until 20."

"Hmm... I think we should have a little wager." Zeke says.

"A wager, on my baby?"

"Yep, 50 points to the winner." He nods. "You are saying boy, so I will say girl."

"You are on, but I hope it doesn't hurt your little ego too much when you have to give me even more of your points." I chuckle.

"Ha, ha, ha. We will see, won't we?" He says. Then he surprises me by scooting his chair over and leaning down to talk to my stomach. "We will show that momma of yours, won't we baby. She will see that Uncle Zeke is right and you are a beautiful baby girl, won't she?"

"So it's 'Uncle Zeke' is it?" I grin.

"Yep, I decided. SHE will call me Uncle Zeke."

"Well then I am Aunt Tris."

"Fine, fine, you will all be HIS aunts or uncles." I say.

"Her." Zeke states, patting my stomach.

"We will see, won't we?" I shrug.

I suddenly feel a pang of guilt wash over me. My baby will have all my friends as it's uncles and aunts, but what if that is not enough. My baby will have me, but will never have his or her father. I have to fight the urge to start crying all over again. Ugh... STUPID HORMONES.

We end up staying up far too late just talking and watching movies. I start to stand to go home when Tris stops me.

"Why don't you two just stay here. It is almost 2 am. Just borrow some pajamas and go home to change before work tomorrow."

"I don't know Tris. I don't think I would be comfortable on the floor or couch and I can't kick Four out of his own bed again."

"We have that covered. Didn't you notice that we had a new couch?" Four says, while moving the coffee table. "Well this is why we got it." He lifts off the cushions and pulls on the base, revealing a full size bed. "We also have an air mattress now but the pump is broken, so either you two can share, or one of you is blowing up the air mattress. I... am going to sleep." He then grabs some pajamas for himself and tosses some to Zeke before leaving the room to change. Tris also goes to her dresser and gets us both some.

"So, are you going to stay?" She yawns.

"I guess so." Zeke shrugs. "I can start blowing up the mattress. You go ahead and sleep here."

"Don't bother. The bed is plenty big enough for the two of us. We have to get up in six hours anyway, there is no sense in you spending the next hour blowing up your bed."

As soon as Four is changed, he heads to bed and Tris takes over the bathroom. Zeke and I sit waiting for our turns without saying anything. I let Zeke go first, and by the time I am all ready for bed, it is clear that all three of them are already fast asleep. I shut off the lights and climb into the bed, which is remarkably comfortable for being a hide-a-bed, and face away from Zeke's sleeping form. I try to fall asleep, but my brain seems to think it is time to kick into overdrive.

All my worries and doubts start overwhelming me as I lay there, staring at the ceiling. What if I can't take care of my baby? What if he hates me for raising him without a father in his life? What if I am just not good enough? What if? What if? What if?" I start sobbing, no longer able to keep my emotions bottled up inside. I am glad everyone else is asleep so they can't hear me cry. Then I feel a shift in the bed next to me.

"Chris? You ok?" Zeke whispers.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry if I woke you." I say, trying to hide the tears in my voice.

"Hey." He says. "Look at me." When I don't move, I feel him reach over and gently place a hand on my hip and shoulder, turning me to face him. Even in the dark room, I think he can see the tears streaming down my face. He reaches over and wipes them away with his thumb so gently. "Chrissy, please tell me what's wrong."

"It's just... what if... what if..." I find myself unable to continue.

"What if, what?" He says softly.

"What if I am not good enough? What if the baby hates me because his father wasn't around? What if I am a failure as a mother?" I say in one ragged breath.

"That will never happen." He says, taking a moment to stroke my hair.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you Christina. I think I have gotten to know you pretty well in the time you have been here. How long has it been? Just over two months since you came here? In that time I have learned that you are strong, smart, and brave. You can do this. I know that it must be scary thinking about doing it on your own, but you don't have to. We will all be there for you and this little one." He pats my stomach. I suddenly realize that he and Tris are the only ones who have been able to get away with doing that without me batting their hand away. I guess in the past weeks Zeke has become one of my closest friends here... second only to Tris. "And as far as HER hating you for not having her father around, don't worry about that. She will love you because you are her momma and you love her. You will raise her with all the love you have in your heart and she will never lacking love of a family. We will see to that."

"I just wish I was ready to believe that." I say.

"Well, anytime you start feeling those doubts creeping in, just come to me and I will remind you." He hugs me closely to him and I breath in deeply as I let his warmth wash over me. "Now you need to go to sleep. You need your rest."

"Thanks Zeke."

"Anytime Chris. After all, what are friends for." He kisses me on the nose and then rolls over facing away from me.

I sit staring at him, in the dark, for a few minutes. I have to fight the urge to wake him up and kiss him. To see what it would feel like to have him kiss me. I have to shake this out of my head and remind myself that he is just my friend. He has never been anything more than a friend, and never will be. This is just the hormones talking, kind of like last week when I REALLY wanted to lick the whipped cream off the lip of that cute guy in the coffee shop. STUPID HORMONES!


	57. Job Relations

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Now, getting back to something I started 22 chapters ago.

Tris

After over a month of being in Leadership, I think that Tobias and I have really gotten into a great rhythm. It is a challenging job, and at times I feel like I need to chop my hair off so I don't pull it all out, but it's rewarding. I feel like we can really make a difference for our faction. Today is going to be a particularly busy and stressful day.

Since one of my roles as a leader is to deal with Job Relations, which means that I have to handle any disputes between workers or between them and their managers. Today I am mediating between 3 cafeteria workers who are all claiming that they deserve to be transferred to first shift. Their manager has not helped the situation, as he tends to play favorites towards one of them. I have been called in to determine what the proper course of action is.

After spending the first half of the morning reviewing all the records for the employees, I have come to a decision. I have decided to base the transfer on a combination of seniority and performance reviews and it is pretty clear who will get the transfer. I call each of them to my office individually and explain my decision. The one who is getting the transfer is clearly pleased and thanking me endlessly. The other two are upset by it, but after I explain to them that they are first and second in line for any new openings, they get over it. I can't make everyone happy, but I at least know that I acted fairly and honestly.

After I grab a quick lunch, I have to work on re-housing three families, who have applied for larger apartments. They are all expecting a baby and need more room. I complete the needed paperwork and deliver the keys to each family. Seeing one woman, who looks like she is about to deliver any day now, makes me think that this is going to be Christina in about 7 months. I am excited, but also nervous for her.

Just as Tobias and I sit down together to work on some of the Initiation planning, I hear a frantic knocking at my door. When I open it I see Paul, the first shift fence guard manager, red faced and angry.

"Sorry to bug you Tris." He huffs.

"No problem. Come on in. What's up?" I say.

"I need some help with two of my guys. They got into it on duty today and both ended up in the infirmary. This is not the first time that they have done this. It happened twice just last month, and I can't keep spending so much time policing the two of them."

"I will leave you to this, Tris. We can work on this some more tomorrow." Tobias says, standing.

"Thanks, Four." I say, walking him to his office door.

"Remember I will be working late tonight." He says quietly enough so only I hear him. Once he is in his office and the door is closed, I have Paul take a seat where he was.

"OK so, before I talk to the two of them, I want to ask you what you think should be done." I say.

"You want my opinion?" He looks baffled.

"Well, you are their manager and know them far better than I do. Why would I not want your opinion?"

"It's just that before, when we would bring conflicts to leadership, we were never asked for our opinions."

"Things are changing around here." I smile. "So what do you think?"

"I think that they are both really good fence guards, but they just can't work together... ever."

"So do you think it is best to re-assign one of them to a different job or shift?"

"I would like to keep them both on first shift, but I think if we leave Jackson on the Eastern perimeter and move Everett to the Western Gate area, it would eliminate most of their interaction while on shift."

"That sounds good, but is there an open spot on the Western Gate?"

"Not exactly, but I think we are overstaffed on the Eastern Perimeter and need someone else on the Western Gate anyway."

"I see. That sounds good to me. I have another question for you. To your knowledge, do we have any other areas that need to have the staffing ratios altered?"

"Yep. I've mentioned it before, but nothing ever came of it."

"Here is the plan. I would like you to give me a write up of your suggestions for staffing numbers in each region, for each shift. Then I will review those numbers with the other shift managers and we can work on changing the staffing to match the recommendations."

"That sounds good to me." He grins.

"Can you have that to me by 4 pm on Friday?"

"I sure can. Now, about my two trouble makers?" He laughs. "Do you want me to go deal with them, or do you want to?"

"I will take care of it. You can go ahead and get back to work. Thanks for bringing this to my attention."

"Anytime. And Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for actually listening to me." He smiles and heads out of my office.

Now, I get to go deal with those two hot heads. Great! I head to the infirmary and ask where each of them are. I decide to start with Jackson first and go to Everett after. When I walk into the room where Jackson is, I can see that it certainly was not just a minor scuffle. His face is already bruised, his left eye is nearly swollen shut, and his knuckles are seeping blood through the bandages.

"Hi, Jackson." I say as I enter. "I don't think we've met. I'm Tris, one of your faction leaders." He reaches to shake my hand and winces with the contact. "So, Paul came to me after your 'little incident' earlier."

"It wasn't my fault. He..." Jackson starts.

"I'm not here to assign blame." I cut him off, speaking calmly and quietly. "I am here because, as the leader in charge of Job and Employee Relations, and I have to determine what the best course of action is as a result of this. So, Paul tells me that this is not the first time that you two have gotten in a physical altercation while on the job?"

"No. It has happened a few times. We really just can't stand each other."

"I get it. Sometimes there are people that drive you so crazy you just want to beat some sense into them. And you know what, if you two got into a fight outside of work, I would not say a word to you as long as no one was seriously injured. But, here is the thing, you were at work and that makes it my business. Tell me, what is your duty as a fence guard?"

"To protect the faction and area that we patrol."

"Exactly. And what good is it when two of the fence guards are too busy brawling, to actually do their jobs? Not to mention the distraction to the other guards and the time it took from your manager to leave his post to come to me." He does not respond, but I know he gets it. "So we had to come up with a little plan of action. I could have moved either of you to another shift or even another department, but Paul said he wanted to keep you both on his team. My decision is to leave you at your current post on first shift, and move Everett to another post."

"Thank you." He smiles slightly.

"However, you are on probation. That means, if you have one more incident in the next 90 days, you will be re-assigned to another position in the faction, unless other actions are in order."

"Other actions?"

"Depending on the severity of the incident, you could be dealing with a number of things including being kicked out of the faction." I say simply.

"I understand. Thank you for giving me another chance."

"Just don't make me regret my decision."

"I won't."

At that, I leave his room and head in to meet with Everett. We have a very similar conversation in which I explain to him his transfer of posts and his probationary period. He is actually grateful for the change and seems pleased. Once I have finished with him, I head to meet up with Paul and explain what has happened. He thanks me and I head back to my office.

By the time I get back to my office it is already 5, and I know that I am not going to be able to get much more done today. I head home and change into my workout clothes, feeling the need to blow off some steam. It wasn't a bad day, but with everything that I had to deal with, some exercise will be nice. I head to the training room, and am glad to see that there is no one else there. I get my music started and put my ear buds in before I start.

I start with my normal cardio on the treadmill. I run until my lungs start the burn and then move on to work on my kick boxing. I grab three punching bags and slide them along the tracks in the ceiling until they are in just the right formation. I center myself in the middle of the triangle of bags and begin my routine. I start out slowly, kicking here, punching there, and slowly build up speed. I am completely in the zone and moving faster than I normally do. It is all going well until I start to go for a blind kick at the bag behind me, and I realize that my aim is all off. I am expecting to miss the bag and, because of my momentum, fall to the mat, but I don't. I make contact with something, but it's not the bag.

I stop and turn around to see what I made contact with and see Peter, sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. Crap! I should just leave him there, but I can't seem to make myself do that, so I crouch down to check on him. He is unconscious but still breathing. I try to shake him awake, but he is still out cold. I grab my water bottle and pour cold water on him... nothing. I even slap him across the face, and while it is sort of satisfying to do that, it does nothing to wake him. Crap! Knowing that there is not much more that I can do, I grab my phone and call for a medic to come help him.

I hear the door to the Training Room open a few minutes later and turn, expecting to see the medics. But that is not who enters... it's Tobias.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I was in the control room, working on some system updates and I saw what happened on the monitors."

"So, can you tell me exactly what happened?"

"Well when it flipped over to this camera, I saw you working at your punching bags. Nice form, by the way. And then Peter came in and just stood by one of the bags, watching you. I was about to head down here, when I saw you miss your bag and kick him instead. It seemed like he hit his head pretty hard on the floor." Just then the medics arrive and T.J. repeats the story to them. They get him loaded up, and we follow along to the infirmary.

"Don't you still have to finish the system updates?" I ask.

"Yeah, I guess I better get back. You heading home?"

"I think I will stay here for a bit and wait to hear from the doctor."

"You know you don't have to do that. He has never done anything to deserve you being nice to him."

"I know that, but..."

"But you feel like it is selfish to leave him here alone. Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"I think your Abnegation is showing a bit." He grins.

"Shut up." I say before giving him a kiss and sending him on his way.

I sit and wait for about two hours before a nurse comes into the waiting room to see if there is anyone waiting for him. I stand to talk to her. She asks if I am his emergency contact, so I say yes for some reason. She explains that he is still unconscious, which is odd for such a minor head injury. They have done x-rays and determined that there was no significant damage caused by the fall. They also performed a CT scan, which the doctor is reviewing right now. She asks if I would like to go back to talk to the doctor, and I say yes. I guess I am feeling guilty for hurting him. Tobias is right, I am acting so Abnegation right now.

When I sit down with the doctor, he pulls up an image on the computer screen and turns the screen to face me. He explains that this is an image of Peter's brain and explains what the various parts are.

"Do you see this, right here?" He asks, pointing to a lighter spot on the image.

"Yeah, but I have no idea what I am supposed to be seeing." I reply.

"Well look at all the matter around that area. See the color and apparent texture of it all? See how it is all relatively even and regular?" I nod and he continues. "Now see this section? See how this section is lighter and appears rougher?"

"Yeah." I say, still not sure what that means.

"Well I believe that this area right here is a tumor. I will have to wait for his biopsy results to confirm, but I have seen enough of these to be fairly certain."

"A brain tumor?"

"Yes, and from the looks of it, it has been growing for quite some time. I can't say for sure until I get the biopsy results, but I would estimate that this has been growing for about 4 or 5 years." When he says that, I am immediately taken back to a conversation that I had with Christina during initiation. She told me that she had been friends with Peter until about 3 or 4 years ago, when he started changing.

"Could this tumor cause changes in personality?" I ask.

"It certainly can. Why do you ask? Have you seen changes in his personality?"

"Well, I haven't, but a friend of mine grew up with him and mentioned that a few months ago."

"What did she say? This could be very helpful." He says, taking notes on the chart.

"She told me that she remembered him having a lot of headaches and not wanting to hang out with his usual group of friends very much. And over time, he just became more and more withdrawn. But he also was becoming more aggressive and angry."

"That makes sense. You see this here?" He asks, pointing to an area on the image. "This is Peter's Frontal lobe. Now, the Frontal lobe is responsible for a lot of things including reasoning, behavior, personality, decision making, judgement, inhibition, and mood. And this here is the Temporal lobe, which affects speech, behavior, memory, hearing, vision, and emotions."

"OK?" I say, totally lost.

"Well this tumor has managed to grow right here, where those two areas meet up. It has crossed right over the separation and is impinging on both lobes. From what I can see, this is likely the cause of his changes." Just then, someone enters the room and hands the doctor some papers.

"Can you hold on for a moment while I look these over?" He asks. I agree and he reads over the papers. "Interesting. So, like I said before, I did a biopsy of the tumor and these are the results."

"That fast?" I ask.

"I had a rush order put in to get them done ASAP. So, from what I see here, the tumor is benign."

"And that means?"

"It means that it is not cancerous. But it is still dangerous. I feel that it is in his best interest to have it surgically removed before it causes any more damage."

"When are you going to do that?"

"As soon as I get approval. Can you authorize the procedure?"

"No, not me." I state, adamantly. "You need to ask him once he is awake."

"How about we go check to see if he is up yet?" I follow him into another room and see Peter sitting up in the hospital bed. He is glaring at me so hard, I can practically feel it.

"Hi Peter, I am Dr. Norris. I was just talking to your friend here about..."

"SHE... is not my friend." Peter spits out, cutting the doctor off.

"Very well. I was talking to her about your test results since she is the one that came in with you after your injury. Do you think you are well enough for me to review the results with you?"

"I'm fine." He says, gruffly. I sit in a chair in the corner, not sure why I am still here.

The doctor pulls up the image of Peter's CT scan and begins to explain all the information that he explained to me. He even mentions the changes in personality that I told him about. During the entire explanation, Peter seems emotionless and stoic. The doctor finishes explaining that the tumor is not cancerous but needs to be removed immediately or it could begin affecting other things like his vision and hearing.

"So, can I get you approval to perform the surgery tomorrow morning?" Dr. Norris asks.

"I am not sure. How long will I be recovering?" Peter asks in reply.

"I would say... about 2 weeks in the infirmary, and then another 4 to 6 weeks resting at home before returning to work."

"So 6 to 8 weeks. I can't... I mean... I don't think I can do that. I have not earned any time off from work yet and I can't afford to go without any pay for two months." He sighs. For the first time since I met him, I see a different side of Peter. He seems... almost vulnerable.

"You don't need to worry about that." I say. He looks at me quizzically. "I am in charge of Job and Employee Relations, and I will take care of it."

"You will?" He asks. I nod. "Why?"

"It's my job." I shrug. I know what he really means but decide now is not the time to get into our past.

"So, do you agree to the surgery?" The doctor asks. Peter nods. "OK, Well I will have the nurse prepare all the paperwork. We will keep you overnight and get you scheduled for surgery tomorrow at 11 am. Do you have any questions?"

"Just one. So you said that this tumor is the reason my personality changed. So you think... is it possible... that once the tumor is removed... I could change... back to who I was before?" Peter says hesitantly, looking in my direction.

"While I can't say for sure, I can tell you that it is possible. Some patients gradually revert to being closer to their previous selves once the pressure from the tumor is alleviated. Others... well they stay the same even after the operation. I will send the nurse in to get all the paperwork completed. See you tomorrow." With that he leaves and I am left alone with Peter.

"I guess I will go..." I begin, standing and moving towards the door.

"Why are you doing this Tris?" He asks.

"I told you, it's my job." I shrug.

"You know what I mean. After everything... everything I did. How can you sit here for hours after what I tried to do to you? It just doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know, Peter." I shake my head. "I guess it is just me being a 'Stiff'. I can't just walk away when someone is in need."

"But how can you show me such... I don't know... forgiveness?"

"I don't forgive you." I chuckle. "I am not sure I can ever really forgive you."

"Then why are you here?" He persists.

"I guess it's because, even though I can't forgive your actions, you are still a person. And I can't deny another human being at least some semblance of compassion."

"You really are a much better person than I am." He smiles.

"I know!" I laugh. "Well, I better get going."

"Tris?" He asks as I walk to the door.

"Hmm?"

"I know I have no right to ask this, and you have every right to laugh in my face. But do you think you could come here tomorrow... when I have my surgery? I wouldn't ask this of you... but I have no one."

"What about Drew and Molly? Aren't they your friends?"

"Yeah right. Those two are not really my friends. I have no friends. It's ok. I don't blame you for saying no."

"I'm not saying no."

"Then you will come?" He asks, hopefully.

"Yes, I will come."

"Thank you."

I leave and head home. I call Max on my way home and explain the situation. He approves my decision to continue Peter's salary during his recovery and also allows me to work from the hospital while he is in surgery. When I get home, I see that Tobias is still gone. I eat a quick dinner and head to bed to read while I wait. Once he is home, I tell him about everything that happened after he left the infirmary. I tell him about the surgery and the conversation with Peter. I tell him that Peter asked me to come tomorrow for his surgery and that I agreed. I expect him to question my decision, but he just nods.

"Not going to tell me I shouldn't go tomorrow?" I ask.

"Honey, I know you well enough to know that you are going to be there. That is just the type of person that you are. Right now, you are not seeing the ruthless Peter that stabbed Edward in the eye and tried to kill you. You are seeing a person, who is sick and probably scared, and needs someone by their side. As much as I can't stand Peter, I can't fault you for being who you are. Your kind spirit is just one of the many reasons that I love you. Now, let's get some sleep. What time do we need to be at the infirmary tomorrow?"

"Well, the surgery is at 11 am, but you're going?"

"You are going to be there to support him, and I am going to be there to support you."

"I love you T.J."

"I love you too."


	58. I Don't Deserve Him

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Short-ish chapter, but I had a thought and needed to get it written down. Again, Tobias is the perfect man. I know I need to write him not so perfect at times, but I love his character so much that it is hard to write him any other way. ON another note, I have a question for you all. Do you think I should include anything more about Peter? I had not planned on including him from here out, but want to know what you all think.

Tris

Miserable! That is the only word to describe how I am feeling at this moment. Here it is Friday night, and instead of going out with friends or even staying home and relaxing with T.J., here I am spending half my night throwing up.

The day before yesterday, we went to the infirmary for Peter's surgery and spent 5 hours in the waiting area before we could visit him in the recovery room. While we were waiting, there was a near constant stream of people through the door with every ailment imaginable. At one point in time a little boy, who looked to be about 5 or 6 sat next to me. He said something to me, and just when I turned to answer him, he coughed right in my face.

I didn't think much of it, until this morning, when I woke up feeling a bit sick. I went to work anyway, but just kept feeling worse and worse as the day progressed. At about 3, Tobias came to see me, and by that point, I was running a fever and had major chills. He insisted on taking me home and putting me right to bed. Then came two hours later, when I began vomiting non-stop. This has been going on for 2 hours now and show no sign of stopping.

We were supposed to go out to dinner with Jake and Lena tonight and meet their aunt, but I am clearly not going. I told T.J. that he should go anyway, and that I would be fine at home alone, but he was not having any of it. He insisted that he was going to be right here with me, taking care of me, and making sure I have anything I wanted or needed. He even went to the market to get me a variety of flavored waters, juice, and Jello, to keep me from getting dehydrated. So right now, here I lay on the air mattress which is setup right by the bathroom door.

By about 11 pm, I finally feel like I am going to be ok further than 3 steps from the bathroom door, and head to lay on the bed. I suggested that Tobias sleep on our bed and I would take the air mattress or sofa bed, but he said that he wanted me to have the more comfortable bed. I think he would have still slept in the bed with me, but I would not allow that for fear of getting him sick. I am worried enough that just in taking care of me, he will catch this.

Relieved to finally have a break from the stomach cramps, I slip under the covers and try to get some sleep. T.J. checks on me and gets me a glass of water before he too gets into his bed. I fall asleep quickly and begin to dream vividly. I don't remember much of the dream, just that I was in some sort of fight and ended up down on the Training Room mat. My opponent then began kicking me repeatedly in the stomach. That is when I wake up. The stomach cramps have returned with a vengeance. I get up to rush to the bathroom but find that my legs are tangled in the blankets and, still in the haze of sleep, I can't figure out how to free myself. Then it is too late and I vomit everywhere, on the floor, the bed, myself.

I hear a creak from across the room and see a lamp switched on. Tobias crosses over to me and rubs my back while I am still retching. When I finally stop, I see the mess I have made, and start to cry.

"Honey, what's wrong? Do you need to go to the infirmary? Are you in pain?" He asks gently.

"No, I'm ok."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Look at this mess I made. I am so sorry. I tried to get up but couldn't seem to get untangled from these stupid blankets."

"Tris, there is no need to be sorry. You are sick, you couldn't help it." He places a warm kiss on my forehead.

"Go ahead and go back to bed T.J. I will clean this all up."

"Not a chance. You are not dealing with this while you are sick."

"You don't have to do it."

"I know I don't HAVE to, but I AM going to. I am here to take care of you, I will always be here to take care of you."

"I love you, you know that?" I smile weakly.

"I know, and I love you too." He helps me free myself from the blankets that are still wrapped around my legs. He helps me to get off the bed and sit on a chair. "Wait here for a couple minutes, I will be right back." He heads into the bathroom and, a few minutes later comes back into the room and gently pulls me to my feet. "I have a hot bath running for you. I think it will make you feel better to get cleaned up. While you are in there, I will take care of this."

He leads me to the bathroom, a walk that is only a few feet, but seems to take an eternity. Once we get inside the bathroom, I sit on the toilet, while he checks the water and turns off the faucet.

"Do you need any help?" He asks, sweetly. I blush but don't think it is noticeable since I am already flushed from my fever.

"I think I will be ok." I say, not wanting the first time he would ever see me naked to be as a way to wash vomit off of me.

"Ok. I will be just outside." He walks out of the room, but leaves the door open just a crack. I start to work on undressing, but find that I lack the strength to even raise my arms above my head. I huff in frustration.

"You ok in there?" He asks, slightly opening the door.

"I guess." I mutter.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He walks back in and, seeing that I am still in the same place fully dressed, nods.

"You need help, don't you?"

"I don't... it's just... I'm not sure..." I stutter.

"You nervous about me seeing you naked. It's OK. We can figure this out."

"It's not that... exactly. I just thought that the first time you saw me that way... well... it would be romantic. Not sick and vomit covered like this."

"How about this? I have seen you in a bathing suit. That is not much more than your underwear and bra, so that won't be too bad right?"

"I guess not."

"Then I will help you undress into that, and when it is time to take those off I will look away." He says as he brushes my hair from my face.

"Maybe I should just keep them on. I think I might need some help anyway."

"OK. Let's get you in the bath."

He helps me to my feet and carefully removes my shirt and pants. Surprisingly, I am not as embarrassed as I thought I would be. He helps me step into the tub, and the water is heavenly. It is perfectly warm and smells of peppermint. He tells me that it is supposed to be soothing and might help me feel a bit better. I sink into the water and lean back, trying to relax as much as I can.

Tobias sets a small bucket next to the tub in case I need to vomit again, and steps into the other room. I can hear that he is cleaning up my mess, and though I still feel guilty, I am equally glad that I don't have to clean it up myself. Once he is done, he returns to the bathroom and sits down next to the tub.

"How are you doing?" He asks, checking the water temperature, and adding more hot water.

"I feel a tiny bit better. Do you think you could hand me the shampoo and conditioner so I can wash my hair?"

"I will take care of that." He grabs the bottle and squirts some into his palm.

"Really, you don't have to."

"I told you, I know I don't have to, but I'm going to. Can you scoot forward a bit?"

He begins by using the bucket to wet my hair and then rubs the shampoo into my hair. He massages my scalp for a few minutes before using the bucket to rinse the suds out. He then repeats the process with the conditioner and, once thoroughly rinsed, combs his fingers through my hair. He helps me sit up straighter and then proceeds to grab a washcloth and gently washes over my back, arms, chest, stomach, and legs. I sit in the bath for a while longer, and he simply sits by the tub, until the water begins to feel cold and I decide it is time to get out. He helps me stand and step out of the tub. He then holds up my bathrobe and turns his head away for me to remove my undergarments and slip the robe on. Once it is on, he turns back to me and leads me out of the bathroom.

When we get back to the bed, I see that not only did he clean up the mess and remove the soiled bedding, but he re-made the bed with fresh sheets, blankets and even fresh pillows. I see a laundry bag, stuffed full, sitting by the door. I sit on the bed and he brushes through my hair, removing any tangles before carefully braiding it down my back.

"How on earth do you know how to braid hair?"

"It is not much different than braiding rope, plus I have seen you do it a dozen times. Now, lets get you back to sleep. I have a bucket here next to the bed in case you get sick again." He leans forward to kiss me and I pull away.

"Don't, you might catch it." I say.

"I will take that risk." He gives me a gentle kiss on the lips before laying me down and tucking me in. He grabs the air mattress and pulls it over so that it is just a foot or so away from my the bed and sits watching me until I am fast asleep.

Thankfully, there are no more issues, and I am able to sleep through the rest of the night. When I awaken in the morning, I see that the air mattress is moved and there is a glass of juice along with a note on the nightstand.

"Tris,

I ran to the store to get you some ginger ale and some more juice. I will be back soon. If you want me to pick anything else up, send me a text.

Love you,

T.J."

What did I ever do to deserve this man? I make a mental note that, once I am better, I will find a way to re-pay him for this. When he gets home, he pours me a glass of ginger ale and gives me some saltine crackers to nibble on. We sit and watch TV for the rest of the morning, and by lunch time, I am feeling well enough to eat some toast. I nap until late afternoon and wake to find that he has made me home-made chicken noodle soup. As I fall asleep for the night, tucked tightly in his arms, I think to myself, "I seriously don't deserve him, but I am going to keep him for the rest of my life."


	59. Plans

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

A few things before I get started with the actual chapter. First to answer a couple questions. Sarah88 - I will not be including any lemons. They will at some point have sex, but I am not going to be including any detailed descriptions. It is most likely going to be a build up and then let you use your imaginations for the rest. I am doing this in order to make sure I am still within the T rating.

To the guest that mentioned TJ being for Theo James... I wish I could claim that I was that clever. That thought actually never crossed my mind. When I was coming up with my idea for the story, I wanted her to have a nickname for him, but I didn't want something like Toby. I decided to use initials and could not think of anything that sounded better than J for a middle initial. I tossed around a few names and settled on James since it had the best flow with Tobias. I actually had no connection in mind to Theo James, so we can just call it a happy accident, since he could have been Tobias Joseph, Jacob, or Joshua.

Thanks to enj412 for the mention on Tumblr and leek812 for bringing it to my attention. I actually signed up on Tumblr to take a look. Lastly, thanks to Depcher for sending out the recommendations. :)

On with the story.

Time lapse... whatever it takes to get us to November 28th... losing track of time here.

Tobias

Saturday mornings are my favorite time. It is very rare for anything to be going on earlier than noon on a Saturday, so we can sleep in as late as we want. I know that Tris likes that too, since she is so far from being a morning person that it is funny. We normally lounge around for a little while once we do decide to extract ourselves from our little cocoon in bed. This morning though, she is up earlier than normal and seems a bit antsy.

"What is going on this morning?" I ask her, as she is washing the breakfast dishes like she is in a race.

"What do you mean?" She pauses to glance at me.

"You just seem so hurried this morning. You never move this fast in the morning."

"It's nothing. Christina is going to be here in about half an hour to pick me up and I wanted to spend some time with you before she gets here."

"So, what are the two of you up to today?"

"Take a guess. It is Christina after all."

"Ah, I see... so shopping."

"You've got it." She grins.

"More stuff for the baby?"

"Probably. But who knows, she will probably be forcing me to try on half of the clothing store, simply for her amusement."

"So you know if she is going to try and find out the gender of the baby?"

"She is dying to know, but the doctor is telling her that they should wait until she is 20 weeks before they try."

"So then she can totally go crazy with her buying. Though I am surprised that she has not already bought EVERYTHING that they sell, for both boys and girls."

"She says that she thinks it is a boy, but who knows..."

"Well, when she finds out, I guess I will plan on not seeing you for days, while you are forced to shop with her." I smile.

"Sadly, that may be true. Hey, speaking of that, I have an idea. I was thinking that we should have a little party for Christina and the baby in a couple months. I have never been to a baby shower before, but I think it would be a lot of fun. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea. But one question..."

"And that would be?"

"Do I have to go?" I laugh.

"You most certainly DO." She says before giving me the faintest of kisses.

"Well, if you put it that way... how can I refuse."

She stands on her tip toes and gives me another, more forceful kiss. I take that opportunity to lift her off her feet and walk the few steps to the couch. I sit down and she wraps her legs around my waist, our lips never losing contact. We continue kissing, but the intensity changes by the second. What started out as playful and casual, is now becoming more and more passionate and desperate. She is the first to break away from this kiss, but only due to the need for air.

Tris

I reluctantly pull my lips away from Tobias' when I am so desperate for air that I am feeling light headed. Ok, maybe it is not entirely the need to breathe that is causing my head to spin. His kisses are so powerful they are bordering on intoxicating. I have my arms wrapped in a vice like grip around his neck as he lets his hands roam across my back and kisses from my jaw line to my collar bone and back.

I can't contain the gasp when the skin of his calloused hands brushes the tiny bit of exposed skin where my shirt has lifted. Suddenly it's like someone lit a fire and increased the temperature in the room by 20 degrees. My, once comfortable cotton t-shirt, has turned into fire ants and I want nothing more at this moment than to tear it from my body.

His lips return to mine and he begins running his fingers through my hair, which only serves to raise my internal temperature even more. I release my grip on his neck and start toying with the hem of my shirt, still fighting the overwhelming urge to take it off. The Abnegation side of me is fighting with my Dauntless side for control in this situation. One part of me feels like I need to slow this down and regain my self control. But the other side of me wants to rip this shirt off right now and see where it leads. I am still fidgeting with my shirt, when a loud knock at the front door stops me, making me jump.

"And that would be Christina." I groan, pulling away from his lips.

"Just stay quiet and maybe she will go away." He says before returning his lips to the side of my neck.

"I wish that were true but..." I am interrupted by more knocking. "She won't give up."

"Let's just test it out and see."

"Tobias." I giggle as he manages to kiss a spot that tickles. "You know she is not going to leave... and any moment she is going to give up on knocking and use her key."

"Right, her key... I almost forgot." He gives me one more kiss before I unwrap myself from him and call to Christina that I am coming.

I walk to the door and let Christina come in. She takes one look at me, with my certainly red face and messed up hair and laughs.

"Do I need to come back later?" She grins.

"Yes." T.J. says while I simultaneously say "No."

"Are you sure I am not interrupting a little something?" She says wiggling her eyebrows.

"I think I am going to head to Zeke's apartment now." Tobias says jumping to his feet and heading towards the door. He gives me a quick kiss then slips out.

"Sorry, Tris, I didn't mean to interrupt. If you want, I can run and grab him and you two can get back to what you were doing."

"We were not doing anything Chris."

"Sure you weren't. So your hair is like that and you are all flushed and flustered for no reason. It's ok Tris. I seriously can leave. I would never want to stop someone from having sex with her boyfriend. Especially now, when it is just about all I can think of doing. This pregnancy is making me crazy."

"Christina! I wasn't... we weren't... I mean... we don't... Ugh!" She gives me a confused look for a moment, like she can't process my words.

"Wait... you don't... ever? Like ever, ever?"

"We... it's just that we... I really can't talk about this." I stammer.

"You sure can, and you know I am not giving up until you do... so spill." She leads me to sit on the edge of the bed and sits next to me.

"We haven't... you know." I whisper.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." I say, looking away.

"That is just... wow."

"It really shouldn't surprise you. Abnegation, remember?" I grin a little, finding it getting easier to talk about my the moment.

"I guess but I just figured that, with you two living here together, that you would have already."

"Nope."

"How can you... not?" She looks totally baffled.

"What do you mean? We... well, we just don't." I shrug.

"But, it just seems strange to me, no offense intended. You are both head over heels in love with each other. You obviously have major chemistry both emotionally and physically. You spend every possible moment together. You even sleep together in the same bed every night. I just don't know how you have managed to NOT have sex."

"It's just that I have not been ready."

"Are you afraid?" She asks.

"Not afraid... just not ready. I have a question for you. What were you taught at home about sex?"

"I don't know, just the normal stuff I guess. The basic logistics of it, how it works, safety, you know? Birds and the bees stuff."

"Did they ever advise you about how old you should be, or anything like that?"

"Not really. They just said that when we were old enough, we should make sure to 'be safe'. Why? What were you taught?"

"We were taught, basically nothing."

"Nothing at all."

"Nothing. The only thing that we ever were told about sex was that it was reserved only for married couples and the purpose was for procreation. The only way I even know what I do, was from reading about it in books I got when I would sneak into Erudite. Even those were just so factual that it... I don't know... seemed so clinical."

"Oh, Tris. It is so far from clinical that you will be amazed. It can be amazing."

"Can be?"

"Well, at first it can be a little awkward, especially if you are not completely in sync with the other person. But when you get it right... it is wonderful."

"So I take it you were able to 'get it right' with the baby's father?" I grin, feeling at ease about talking like this.

"Eventually, though it took a while. But it will be different with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you are in love with Four. I was never in love with Adam. We were, what is referred to as Friends With Benefits. We cared for each other as friends, but that was it. There was never a deep emotional bond between us, and we were both OK with that. But with you two, you are so in love, it should be easier."

"Well, you have that right. I love him so much it hurts sometimes."

"So, why don't you do it already?"

"It's just that... well, here we both are, full members of Dauntless. But, that does not take away how we were raised. You are still oh so... umm... delightfully honest and can still sense a lie a mile away. And I still have Abnegation in me."

"OK?"

"I just always planned that my first time would be with my husband."

"So you're still planning to wait until you are married?"

"I think so."

"And what if Four doesn't want to wait?"

"He doesn't really have a choice does he? I mean, if I am not ready for sex, then I am not going to have sex. End of story. We have talked about it, and he said he is fine waiting as long as I need."

"I just can't believe he is ok with that."

"He was Abnegation too remember?"

"I guess."

"So, as it stands, we are going to wait to have sex until we are married. Then we will have the rest of our lives to make up for 'lost time'."

"Until you get married? So you're pretty sure that you are going to marry him someday."

"I am certain of it. I have known and loved him for nearly nine years. I would marry him tomorrow if he asked. Now, can we please put an end to the conversation and get to work on our errands. We have a lot of planning and work to do before tomorrow.

"Do you think he has any idea that you are throwing a birthday party for him?"

"I am sure he has no clue. Thanks for helping me, by the way, I have no idea how to plan a birthday party."

"No problem. Do you have anything specific in mind."

"Not really, I have never been to a birthday party before."

"Never?!"

"Nope. No one has them in Abnegation, so this will be the first time I have gone to a birthday party and his first time having one thrown for him."

"Well, this one better be EPIC then. We better get busy, we have a lot to do."

We head out and, true to my word, spend hours shopping. The only difference is that most of the shopping is for party supplies. Christina basically picks out everything that we could possibly need from food and drinks to decorations and games. She even makes me buy a brand new outfit to wear. She, of course, ends up with a few new pieces of clothing to wear too.

As soon as we are done, we head to her apartment to get everything set-up and prepared. She had the idea to have it at her place, since it was not likely that he would have any reason to go there like he would if it was at Zeke and Uriah's apartment. It takes a long time to get everything done, but when we finish, it looks great. We also have all the food prepared, so that tomorrow, all we have to do is set out the platters. We even have a huge cake ordered that Zeke will pick tomorrow. All I have to do it get him there at 5 pm and the rest is taken care of.

When I get back home, I can tell even before I open the door, that Tobias has dinner ready and waiting for me. It smells amazing. He is standing at the stove, stirring a pot of chili when I walk in. Even though I know he hears me he keeps cooking until I wrap my arms around his waist from behind. He puts down the spoon and turns to face me and gives me a long slow kiss.

"Have a good day?" He asks.

"Yeah, pretty good. You?"

"It was fine." He shrugs. "So did she force you to shop with her all day like expected?"

"Basically." I grin, holding up my shopping bag.

"All day and that is all she talked you into buying? Maybe she is losing her touch." He laughs.

We sit down to a nice, peaceful dinner and then decide to go to a movie after. When we get back home, I am so tired that I head right to bed, while he takes a shower. I am nearly asleep before he gets into bed. I look at the clock as he climbs in next to me and see that it is 12:01 am. It is Sunday, November 29th.

"Tobias?"

"Hmm?" He murmurs, sleepily.

"It's after midnight."

"I know, I am tired too."

"Happy Birthday." I say before sliding closer and kissing him.

"Thanks, honey. I nearly forgot that it was today."

"So how does it feel to be 19?"

"With you here in my arms, it feels wonderful." I kiss him again.

"So what do you want to do for your big day? The only thing I have to do, is meet Christina at her apartment at about 5, to pick up some paperwork she had to fill out for the tattoo parlor. I have to turn it in first thing Monday morning for payroll. I thought maybe we could go out to dinner after that. Sound ok?"

"That sounds good to me."

"Do you want to do anything special before that?" I ask.

"All I want to do is spend every minute of the day with the love of my life."

"Well, I think that can be arranged. Good night, babe."

"Good night, my love." He kisses me softly and we both settle in to sleep.


	60. A Birthday Gift To Remember

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I really hope you like this. Plagued by indecision here. Not sure when to introduce a part of the story line. Do I wait until later as I planned, or do I move it up? Decisions, decisions... I sort of wrote what I have to decide into the chapter. Let me know your opinions. Also, I am looking for suggestions for future use. What should Christina's middle name be?

Tobias

I wake up at about 9 am and realize that Tris is already out of bed. As soon as I sit up, I see that she has breakfast laid out on the table and even put up a birthday banner for me. Tris, however, is no where to be seen. I check the bathroom and see that she is not there. A few moments later I hear the front door open and Tris walks in with grocery bags in hand.

"Dang. I was hoping to be back before you got up." She sighs.

"Where did you go?"

"I was getting breakfast ready and realized that we were all out of juice. Plus, I wanted to get some stuff for lunch so we don't have to go to the dinning hall."

"Hey, Tris." I say, just remembering something.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what today is?"

"Of course I do. Did I forget to say Happy Birthday? Happy Birthday, babe." Says before kissing me lightly.

"Well yeah, it is that too, and thank you. But it is not just that."

"OK?" She is clearly not sure what I am talking about. "You going to tell me?"

"Alright. It was 9 years ago today, that I met a sweet, adorable, kind hearted little girl named Beatrice Prior, changing my life for the better ever since that day."

"Wait, the day we met was your birthday? I didn't remember that."

"I didn't let you know, but I remember it clearly. That was the first and best present that I ever received."

"I love you so much, you know that?" She wraps her arms around my neck.

"And I love you." We kiss for a moment before the tea kettle decides to interrupt.

We spend a few minutes putting the groceries away, then sit down to enjoy breakfast. She has prepared french toast casserole, bacon, mixed berries, juice, and hot tea. It is delicious, definitely the best breakfast she has ever prepared for me.

"Thanks, honey, it is wonderful."

"It is pretty good, but I still think your cooking is better." She smiles. "So, have you decided what you want to do today, Mr. Birthday Boy?"

"Tris, we don't have to do anything special."

"I know that we don't HAVE to, but I want to. You deserve so much more than you think you do. So, I want you to tell me what you want to do for your birthday."

"How about this, you and I spend the whole day here in the apartment just relaxing, and then we can do dinner and a movie like you suggested last night."

"That works for me. Let me clean up first while you go sit on that couch."

"You cooked, I can clean."

"Get over there right now Tobias James!" She mockingly scolds. "It is your birthday and you will relax. So do as I say and start relaxing."

As soon as she is done cleaning up, she joins me on the couch and I start a movie. The movie is kind of boring and she is nearly asleep before it is half way over, so I turn it off and suggest that we take a nap instead. When she starts to stand, I surprise her and scoop her into my arms. She shrieks in laughter as I spin her around before placing her gently on the bed. I shut off the lights and climb into bed beside her, taking her firmly into my arms.

When I awaken, it is about 12:15. Tris is still asleep beside me, but I can't fight the urge to lean in and kiss her. Thankfully she wakes without startling and quickly returns my kiss. She pulls me closer as we continue kissing and I happily oblige. We continue this way for several minutes until I decide I need to break away. As much as I would like to continue this, and take it as far as possible, I know that she wants to wait. It is nearly killing me, but I have to let her be the one to decide when we finally take that step. I have far too much respect and love for her, to try and push her into anything that she is not ready for.

She sighs, though I am not sure if it is contentment or frustration fueling the sound, as I roll off my side of the bed. She also gets up and we both head to the kitchen to get lunch ready. We finish lunch and head back to the couch, grabbing our books on the way. I love that we can be this way together. Nothing is forced with us. We enjoy simply being together, even if we are both just simply reading. A few hours later, Tris looks at her watch and realizes that it is nearly 4 pm.

"I think we should start getting ready for dinner." She says, pulling her legs from my lap.

"Did you make reservations or something?"

"No, but I am still supposed to head over to Christina's apartment at about 5 to pick up her paperwork. She has plans this evening and I told her I would stop by before she leaves. I was thinking if we get ready, then we could head straight to dinner after and we won't have to worry about reservations."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking of the little Italian restaurant that is near the movie theater so we can head there after. The restaurant is a little on the fancy side, so we should probably dress up... just a bit, so we don't seem underdressed. OK?"

"Whatever you say, my love."

"I keep telling you, you need to be careful saying that or I am going to hold you to it." She laughs.

We both get ready, it taking me only a few minutes, while she is in the bathroom for over a half an hour. I am starting to get tired of waiting, but when she emerges, I realize it was worth every minute. She looks stunning. She is wearing a tight black dress, covered in shimmery black lace, that reaches mid-way down her thigh. She has her hair pulled up in some sort of twisted style, with curls springing out in every direction. Her makeup is mostly natural, with pale lipstick and a slight flush to her cheeks. It is her eyes though, that make me suck in a quick breath. She somehow managed to use black mascara and line her eyes in a way that makes them look huge and stunning.

"Do I look OK?" She shyly asks.

"You look beyond ok. You are breathtaking." She seems unsure on how to respond and simply brushes past me to her dresser. She opens her jewelry box and pulls out her raven necklace. She seems to struggle with the clasp, though it is something that she puts on every single day.

"T.J., can you help me?"

"Mmmhmm..." I mumble as I walk over to her.

I take the necklace from her and reach it around her, bringing the clasp together in the back. Though I am quick to get it fastened, my hands linger and the base of her neck. She gasps a bit as I move my hands from her neck, and replace them with my lips. She leans back into my chest as I continue placing feather light kisses along her neck and shoulders. She takes me by surprise when she suddenly turns to face me and wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a like kiss on the lips.

"As much as I would like for this to continue... we really need to get going." She frowns.

"Are you really, positively, definitely sure that we have to go? Can't you get the papers from her tomorrow?"

"I am sure. I have to have them in tomorrow morning by 8 am so they can be processed by payroll.

"Ok, ok. If you insist." I grin. "But I just need 1 more minute." I return to kissing her neck and jaw.

"I guess I can give you that. It is your birthday after all." She pulls my face to meet hers and gives me a slow, passionate kiss.

All too soon she pulls away, and before I can protest, darts across the room. We both slip on out shoes and jackets and she grabs a folder of papers that is on the table by the door. I take her hand and we walk slowly to Christina's. When we get to the door, Tris starts to reach out to knock and manages to drop the folder, sending all the papers across the floor. I bend to help her pick them up and she asks me to knock on the door while she gathers them. I hand her the papers in my hands and knock on the door as she grabs the rest, shoving them roughly into the folder.

I hear Christina call out that she will be just a second and wait for her to open the door. I hear her rustling with the lock before the door swings open wide. I am in total shock, when I see what is inside the door. It is not just Christina, but every single one of our friends, Jake and Lena, all of the other leaders, as well as about a dozen or so others. They all yell Happy Birthday to me as I slowly walk through the door, still in a state of shock. Christina walks over and gives Tris a high five.

"We pulled it off!" She squeals.

"We sure did." Tris grins widely. I still can't seem to form words.

"I was worried that he may have figured out that we were up to something, but the look on his face confirmed that he had no idea." Christina says.

"You've got that right." I manage to say. "I had no idea." Tris looks at me and must be having trouble reading my expression.

"Is it OK?" She asks, quietly.

"Is what OK?" I reply.

"Throwing you a surprise party. You are not mad right?"

"Honey, I am the opposite of mad. This is amazing... you are amazing. I just can't believe you did this all... and managed to keep it a secret."

"It was not easy, my friend." Zeke says as he walks over, throwing an arm around Tris and Christina's shoulders.

"You were in on this too?" I ask.

"A little. As much as they let me. Actually all I really did was pick up the cake."

"Tris!" I exclaim.

"What?" She looks confused.

"You left Zeke alone with cake?" I laugh.

"She did, and I didn't eat a single bite of it." Zeke chuckles.

As the evening continues on, I am greeted by so many people and handed to many cards and gifts, that I can't even keep track. More people keep coming and going for the next couple hours as everyone simply eats, drinks, and mingles. At about 9 pm Max walks up to Tris and I and pulls us aside.

"First off Four, I want to say happy birthday and give you this." He hands me a card and I open it to see a point transfer sheet. He is giving me 100 points as a gift.

"Thanks Max, but it is really not necessary." I say, still not used to the idea of receiving gifts.

"Nonsense, you deserve it. Now, one more thing before I have to get going."

"Leaving already?" Tris asks.

"Yeah, I promised my wife I would be home in time to watch her favorite TV show with her. So before I go I wanted to let you two know that I need you both to meet with me in my office at 8 am. I have to send you to some meetings in Amity and I will need to debrief you both before you go. Sorry for the short notice, but I just found out about the meeting this morning, and none of the other leaders are available."

"Not a problem." I nod.

"Oh, and you will need to pack an overnight bag because you will have to work late and then have more meetings in the morning. I have arranged with Johanna for you two to have a cabana there for the night."

"Sounds good. What are we meeting about?" Tris asks.

"Don't worry about it right now, just standard meetings. I will give you all the information you need tomorrow morning before you get on the train. Have a good night."

By about 11 pm, the party has dwindled down and only our group of friends, along with Jake and Lena remain. We decide to play a few games and hang out a bit longer before we head home. They have decided on some strange sort of drinking game and Zeke and Jake begin passing out shots. Jake reaches to hand one to Christina but she stops him.

"Thanks, but I can't." She smile.

"No?" He asks.

"Nope, not for a while longer. I am pregnant." She explains.

"Shoot, I'm sorry, I had no idea. You don't look pregnant. How far along are you?"

"I am actually 16 weeks today."

"Wow, my cousin just had a baby and when she was 16 weeks, you could totally tell she was pregnant."

"It's kind of silly, but I sort of wish I was showing already. I will probably regret that later on, when I am as big as a house. You know, I am sure that we have met but I can't quite remember where."

"Tris introduced us a while back and I ended up going to the movies with you. I'm Jake."

"Now I remember. And she is... your girlfriend?" Christina asks, pointing to Lena.

"No. She is my sister, twin sister actually. Hey, Lena, come here." He calls out. Lena walks over. "Lena, this is Tris and Four's friend Christina. Christina this is my sister, Lena."

"It is nice to meet you." Christina says while shaking Lena's hand. "So how do you both know Four and Tris?"

"Umm... well... we just met recently." Jake stutters.

"Actually Christina, it is kind of a long story..." I start, not wanting to reveal the whole story. "We will tell you about it another time."

"OK, I can tell there is something that you are not telling me. But since it is your birthday, I will let it slide for now. Just consider it part of your birthday present." Christina laughs.

"Oh, Crap!" Tris exclaims.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

"Your birthday present. I ordered a present for you and I totally forgot to pick it up."

"It's fine, honey, you didn't even need to get me anything. This party was way more than enough."

"I know, but I really wanted to give you an amazing gift for your birthday." She frowns. At that moment, I make a decision. I have been ready and waiting for just the right moment, and right now seems perfect.

"Tris, you know what? I do want a birthday gift from you." I grin, as I fish around in my inside jacket pocket, suddenly glad that I never actually bothered to take it off. "The best gift that you could ever give me, is you. Tris, I have known and loved you for 9 years now. You are the best, smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the entire world, and I plan to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I love you with all my heart, soul, and very being. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

I drop down on one knee, pull the ring box out of my pocket, and place the open box in her hand. Her knees begin to wobble before she sinks down to my level, still speechless. She is smiling, but has tears streaming down her cheeks as she nods.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Yes." She manages to croak out. I remove the ring from the box and place it on her finger before wrapping her in a crushing embrace and kissing her as if my life depends on it. She returns the kiss with equal enthusiasm and we stay this way for a few moments, before I remember that there are other people still around us. They are far from silent, but at that moment, it was as if we were the only two people in the entire world.

Tris

The moment when Tobias dropped down on one knee and handed me the ring box, my world stood still. It was as if time stopped for just a moment and everyone around us faded away. There was only him and me. We were together and it was perfect. I don't even realize it right away, but I have tears streaming down my face as I sink to my knees, suddenly unable to keep standing. I can't form any words, so I simply nod in reply.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Yes." Is the only thing that I am able to say.

Then he places the ring on my finger and I am wrapped in his arms. When he kisses me, I am so overwhelmed that it takes me a second to respond, but when I do it is wonderful. Eventually we have to pull away. I am then brought back to reality, and the room full of people standing there watching us. Christina pulls me to my feet and hugs me tightly, while Zeke pats Tobias firmly on the back.

I finally take a moment to actually look at my ring. It is breathtakingly beautiful. It is a black platinum band with a large diamond set between two smaller grey diamonds. It is simple, yet very elegant.

"Do you like it?" He asks.

"It is perfect, babe." I say before giving him a peck on the lips.

The rest of the evening is spent receiving congratulations from everyone, showing off my ring, and Christina trying to start making wedding plans. I finally convince her to wait planning the wedding until after we get back form our trip to Amity. I am not even sure when we are going to get married. We haven't even had a moment to figure out if we are going to plan the wedding soon, or wait for a little while.

When we finally head home, I am still on cloud nine, and don't really feel like going to sleep. But we will have a busy day tomorrow and we both need to rest. When we finally settle in to go to sleep, I am more peaceful than I have ever been in my life. As I lay in bed, wrapped in my fiancé's strong arms, I can't imagine anything better in this life.


	61. Complications

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I have had this scenario stuck in my head for a while now. I hope you all enjoy.

Tris

We meet with Max before we head to Amity and he fills us in on the various meetings that we will be attending. They are nothing all that special but we need to have someone there, and since we are both new to leadership, Max decided to send us together. We have a meeting that is scheduled to last 3 hours in which we are working on changes to the food delivery system and schedules from the farms here. Then we have a few other policy and procedure meetings to attend between today and tomorrow morning.

I don't really mind going and it will be nice spending the night in one of the cabanas. I have never actually been in one, but Tobias and I used to peek inside them when we could and they look very comfortable. When we arrive in Amity, we are taken right to our cabana to put our things away before heading to the first meeting. Just as I am putting my bag on the table my phone beeps, reminding me that it needs to be charged. I rummage through my bag looking for my charger, but realize that I forgot to pack it.

"Crap!" I exclaim. "T.J., can I borrow your phone charger? My phone is nearly dead and it looks like I left mine at home."

"I grabbed it. I saw it on your nightstand and put it in my bag. Can you grab them both? They are in the side pocket." I grab his bag off of the bed and see only a loose flap of fabric, where the pocket should be. "Um... Tobias?" I hold the bag up, showing him the ripped open pocket.

"Dang it!" He says. " I knew I felt it snag on something when we jumped on the train but didn't think it was that bad. I guess we both need new chargers. Sorry about that."

"It's not a big deal. We can try to remember to get some at the little shop here. Do you have much charge left on yours? Mine is only at 5%."

"Mine is at 46%. I guess I should probably just go ahead and shut it off for now, so we have it if we need to make any calls later." He turns it off and stuffs it in his pocket.

"I guess it is no big deal if we don't have them on. Chances are no one will need to call us anyway." I toss my phone onto the bed and we head out the door.

Zeke

It is 12:30 pm and thankfully time for my lunch break. I really do like my job, but some days I feel like I am going to lose my mind if I have to spend one more minute staring at the monitors. As I am heading towards the dining hall, I see a girl that was in my initiation class and promptly turn the corner to avoid her. Her name is Gabby and boy does it ever fit her. I know that I talk a lot, but she makes me look like a mime in comparison. We went on a date once during initiation, and by the end of the night I had a blazing headache.

Then I remember that I needed to come over to an area near here anyway. The camera that covers one of the hallways is messed up and needs to be reset. I might as well head over there and fix it while I am thinking about it. I head towards the broken camera, which is in a seldom used hallway. I see someone slumped over against the corner of the wall in the hall opposite to where I am heading. They are probably passed out drunk even though it is barely the afternoon. I am about to just keep walking past them, to let them sleep it off, when I decide otherwise and head in their direction.

I walk over and decide to turn them onto their back so I can make sure that they are ok and maybe wake them up. When I reach down to move them, I suddenly realize that this is not some random drunk stranger, it's Christina...

I am nearly in a panic the instant that I realize that it is Chris lying here on the ground. I think I swear a few times under my breath while I try to regain my control and figure out what to do. OK, Zeke, you can handle this. You HAVE to be able to handle this for Christina. She needs you right now, and you better not let her down. This continues to run through my mind as I gently lay her on her back and check over her. I sigh in relief when I confirm that she is breathing. I check for a pulse and find that it is strong and steady. She looks like she is just fine, almost like she is sleeping, except for the gash on her forehead.

I kneel next to her and run my hand across her cheek, calling out her name to try and wake her. When this proves ineffective, I get louder and louder, as my movements before more frantic. When I am still unable to rouse her, I decide that I need to give up on this and get her to the infirmary.

I scoop her gently in my arms, careful the support her neck and head against my chest, and take off towards the infirmary. I have to fight the urge to run full speed for fear that she would be jostled too much. My body seems to be on auto-pilot and I don't even remember most of the trip there. I kick the door wide open and am yelling out for help before I am even inside. A nurse rushed up to me and I ask for a gurney.

"What happened to her?" She says as she returns a few seconds later helping me lay her down.

"I... I don't... I'm not sure... I just..." I stutter, unable to complete a single thought.

"Hey, look at me." She says gently but firmly. I comply. "You need to take a deep breath and tell me what you know." Meanwhile, several others have approached us and are already checking her over and taking vitals.

"I don't know what happened to her. I was just going to fix a broken security camera and found her on the ground. I tried to wake her up, but couldn't. Please, you have to help her." Without warning, I feel tears streaming down my face.

"We are going to take care of her. But I need you to let go of her so we can take a look at her injuries." I look down at my hand, not realizing that I have been tightly clutching onto hers. I let go and they begin to roll her away. I suddenly panic at the thought of her being taken out of my sight, and grab the edge of her bed.

"Wait, you can't take her. I have to stay with her."

"It's ok dear, they are going to take good care of her. Can you look at me?" I turn to look, but still hold the bed. "Hi. I don't know if you remember me, my name is Carolina. I took care of you and your friend after you had your surgery on your shoulder. Do you remember?" I nod slightly. "Good. Now we need to take your friend here back and check her over to make sure she is stable, then you can come in to be with her once we know she is ok. We just need a little bit of time and space to take care of... what's her name?"

"Christina." I mutter.

"Christina. We just need a little time to take care of Christina. As soon as the doctor tells me that she is stable, I will come get you myself. OK?"

"But what if she wakes up before I am in there. I don't want her to be scared." I say, not caring that so many people are watching as I cry.

"If she wakes up before I come get you, I will be there with her. It will be OK. Now you really need to let go and let us get to work." I let go and she is wheeled away, leaving only Carolina and me.

"Carolina?" I sob.

"Yes, dear?"

"I can't lose her. Please... I just can't lose her."

"We are going to take care of her. Just sit tight and I will be back as soon as I can." She says as she squeezes my hand.

As soon as she has left my side, I begin to pace. It is almost as if, if I stop moving, I will completely fall apart. But even as I pace, I am a total disaster. My mind is reeling with what-ifs. What if I was too late getting to her? What if she hurt her neck and I damaged it further when I was carrying her? What if she loses her baby? What if she dies? What if I never get to see her again? What if...?

I pull out my phone and call Tris, but it goes straight to voicemail. I try several more times, as well as sending her multiple texts. I then try to call Four, but his phone too goes right to voicemail. After probably a dozen calls and nearly as many text messages, I finally give up.

It seems as if time has slowed to a crawl. It is as if I have entered another dimension where minutes are hours and hours are years. I don't really know how long I have been walking in this room but I am sure it has been at least and hour. I look at the clock and see that it is 12:55, which means I can't have been here any longer than 15 or so minutes. These have been the longest 15 minutes of my entire life. After what seems like an eternity, but is actually only about 10 minutes later, I feel a hand on my arm and jump.

"You can come in and see her now, dear." Carolina says in her soothing voice.

"Is she awake?"

"Not yet."

"What is wrong with her?" I ask.

"Let's head to her room and we can talk once we get you settled."

She leads me down a long hallway and into a brightly lit room. When I see Christina lying there in the bed, with IVs, monitors, and other wires attached, I nearly lose the ability to stand. She looks so small and weak right now, nothing like the bubbly and vivacious person I have come to know over the past months. I walk over to her bed and grab her hand gently, afraid she might shatter if touched to hard. I hear the scrape of two chairs being pulled across the room and Carolina slides one behind me. I sit as she moves the other chair to face me and takes a seat.

"Is she OK?" I ask quietly, still looking at Christina.

"She is stable. It appears that she may have passed out and hit her head when she fell. She seems to have a concussion, which is the reason she has not woken up yet. Her blood pressure is dangerously high and she seems to have some sort of infection that is causing her to spike a fever. The doctor has ordered her medication to bring down her blood pressure as well as antibiotics to fight her infection."

"Will those things be safe for the baby?"

"Baby?" She asks, eyes wide.

"Yes, she is pregnant."

"OK. Let me get the doctor. I will be right back." She hurries out of the room and about a minute later, returns with one of the doctors from earlier.

"Hi, I am Dr. Zimmer." She begins. "So Carolina tells me that your friend here is pregnant?"

"Yes."

"OK. I have ordered the portable ultrasound machine to be brought in, and that should be here in a few minutes. While we are waiting, do you think you could answer a few questions for me?"

"I can try." I shrug.

"Very well. First, do you know how far along in her pregnancy she is?"

"Umm...she's... oh shoot, she just said last night. She is 16 weeks, I think."

"Are you certain? She is really very small for 16 weeks."

"That is what she said."

"OK. We will confirm. Do you know if she has been seen by a doctor or midwife yet? If so, do you know who?"

"I know she had an appointment a month or so ago, but I have no idea who she saw." Just then, the door swings open and Marlene enters, pushing a machine, which I assume is the ultrasound machine. "Mar! It's Chris."

"Chris?" She exclaims, rushing over to us.

"I take it you also know the patient." Dr. Zimmer says.

"Yes she is a friend of mine, and I am also assisting her midwife with her care."

"And, who is her midwife?"

"It is Chelsea. Would you like me to get her?" Marlene asks.

"Yes, please. I would prefer that she be present for the ultrasound." Marlene hurries out of the room. "In the mean time, I am going to use the Doppler and check for the heartbeat."

She lifts Christina's shirt far enough to expose her abdomen and squirts some blue gel on her. She then takes out a wand that is connected to a small machine, puts on the attached headphones, and begins moving the wand across her stomach. I don't even realize that I am holding my breath, until I release it in a rush, when I see the doctor smile. She unplugs the headphones and turns up the volume.

"That is the baby's heartbeat." She smiles. I also smile at the sound. It is not at all what I would have expected. It is more of a whooshing sound than a thumping and it sounds so fast.

"Is it ok?"

"It sounds perfect." I hear the door open, but am too distracted by the sounds of the baby, to bother looking.

"So, I hear you have one of my patients?" I hear a woman's voice.

"Yes, she was brought in after an apparent syncopal episode with unknown duration. She has an elevated blood pressure of 190/120, a temperature of 101.8, and a probable concussion. She has a small gash on her forehead, most likely from hitting her head when she fell. I was just informed that she is pregnant and that you are her midwife. As you can hear, the baby's heartbeat is present and strong, about 150 bmp. I thought you would like to be present for the ultrasound."

"Thank you Dr. Zimmer, I appreciate it. Please proceed."

Just then, Christina begins to stir slightly in her bed. I grip her hand tightly as she opens her eyes and then squints against the bright lights. Carolina seems to notice and adjusts the overhead lamp to direct the light from her face. Christina then opens her eyes and looks around the room with a confused look on her face. She tries to sit up, but seems too weak and flops back onto the bed.

"It's OK, Chrissy." I murmur. "You are just fine."

"Zeke?" She looks at me, confused. "Where am I?"

"You are in the infirmary, Chris."

"Why?"

"You don't remember? I found you unconscious in the hallway. You hit your head pretty hard." She closes her eyes for a moment and I start thinking she is going to sleep when she opens them again.

"I think I remember."

"Can you tell us what happened?" Dr. Zimmer asks.

"Who are you?" Christina asks, looking at her.

"I am Dr. Elizabeth Zimmer. I am helping to take care of you."

"Oh, OK. Well I remember I was leaving work for lunch and decided to try the shortcut from the tattoo parlor to the dining hall. I have not been feeling very well all day, but all of the sudden I felt really dizzy and had a splitting headache. I... hmm... I don't remember anything after that."

"Well we think that you passed out. We know you hit your head causing the cut on your forehead, but that is going to heal just fine. You probably have a minor concussion, which should cause no long term damage. Of more concern though, is that your blood pressure is elevated and you have a fever, most likely from an infection. We are going to start you on antibiotics to fight the infection, and give you medication to try and lower your blood pressure. If everything goes as planned, we should be able to release you in the next day or two."

"What about my baby?"

"Well, we just checked the heartbeat and it sounds perfect. Would you like to hear?"

"Yes!" The doctor turns the machine on again and places the wand back on Christina's stomach. The whooshing sound returns and Christina starts to giggle. "That's the baby, Zeke!"

"I know, Chrissy. Sounds amazing." I lean over and rest my forehead on hers.

"Now, just before you woke up, I was discussing your case with your midwife and we were about to do an ultrasound. Would you like to see your baby now?" The Dr. says with a smile. Christina nods vigorously.

They roll the ultrasound machine up to the bed and turn on the screen. The doctor squirts more blue gel on Christina's stomach and reaches for another wand. This one is slightly bigger than the one for the heartbeat. She begins to slide it around and the screen begins to change. I have no idea what I am looking at, but I am mesmerized anyway. Christina breaks me out of my daze, asking me to record to for her, so I pull out my phone and start recording the screen.

"Alright, let me explain what you are looking at here." Dr. Zimmer begins. "This is the baby's head. Here is the top of the skull, and here is the side of the head. See the nose and mouth." She points at the screen, stopping periodically to print images and mark some measurements. "Here is the chest, and see that? That is the heartbeat. Here are the arms, here is the spine, the legs, and here are the tiny little feet."

"Does it look ok?"

"It looks perfect. Measurements seem just about right for 16 weeks gestation and everything looks to be developing normally. Do you want me to try to check the gender?"

"I do. I have been dying to know."

"Ok, let's have a look." She moves the wand around a bit longer then finally seems to be happy with the position. "See right here? Well, you are having a baby... girl."

"A girl!" Christina shrieks. "Are you sure?"

"I am 99.9 percent sure. You are having a girl."

"I am so excited." Christina grins. "And don't you dare say it, Ezekiel Pedrad!"

"Say what?" I ask.

"Don't you dare say I told you so." She points her finger at me.

"I wouldn't dare, sweetie." I chuckle. "And we can talk about the points later." She smiles and squeezes my hand tightly.

"OK. Here are some pictures of your little girl that you can keep. Now, I am starting you on some IV medications for your blood pressure and infection. I am going to keep you here overnight and maybe tomorrow night as well to make sure everything stabilizes before you are discharged. Then you will need to be checked every two weeks to make sure you blood pressure remains in the normal range. I will be back in a few hours to check on you again, but for now, try to get some rest."

She leaves and we talk to Carolina for a few minutes. She offers to grab us some lunch trays and soon returns with them. I had forgotten how hungry I was before all this happened, and ate my food in record time. Christina slowly eats her food, seeming too tired to even lift her fork. Eventually she manages to finish, but by that point, she is having a hard time even keeping her eyes open.

"Why don't you go ahead and take a nap? I will be here when you wake up." I say, taking her tray and helping her recline her bed.

"It's OK if you want to go. You probably need to get back to work anyway."

"I am not going anywhere. I have someone covering for me at work."

"OK. Do you think you could do me a favor?" She asks, sleepily.

"Whatever you need."

"Could you call Tris and tell her what is going on?"

"I tired calling her and Four both earlier and couldn't get through to them. They are in Amity until tomorrow afternoon and it seems that their phones are off. I will keep trying though."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetie."

"Hmm... sweetie... I think... I like tha..." She trails off as she falls asleep."

I get her tucked in and give her a kiss on the forehead before settling back into my chair. I send another text message to Tris and Four before deciding to get some rest myself. I grab her hand, needing to make sure that I will know when she wakes up and lay my head on the bed beside her. I quickly drift off to sleep.


	62. There For Me

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Big thanks to leek812 for the character pairing idea. I loved the idea so much, I made several plot changes to accommodate it.

Christina

I wake up when someone touches my arm and see that the nurse from earlier has come back into the room. She smiles at me and nods towards the side of my bed. When I look over, I see that Zeke is sound asleep with his head resting on my bed. I have to fight the urge to run my hand across his face, not wanting to wake him.

"Hey, dear, I just need to check on your vital signs, then you can go back to sleep." She whispers.

"OK." I nod. She quickly takes my temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate.

"It all looks a little better. We will need to keep you on your medications at least until tomorrow, but it seems to be working. Do you need anything else right now?"

"I think I'm ok, thanks."

She leaves and I turn back to look at Zeke, still sleeping by my side. He seems so peaceful lying there, his olive skin and brown hair in contrast to the stark white sheets. I have always found him handsome, but at this moment, he seems more attractive than ever. I know that it is not just my pregnancy hormones now, it is everything about him. Not only is he easy on the eyes, but he is hardworking, funny, caring, compassionate, loyal, and kind. The more time I spend with him, the more I want to be with him. I watch him for a few minutes longer, before I drift back to sleep.

I awaken again some time later to the sound of someone whispering softly. I open my eyes slightly and see that Zeke is awake and talking quietly but there is no one else in the room. I close my eyes again and try to keep my breathing deep and even so he does not know I can hear him.

"Hi baby, it's Uncle Zeke. How are you doing in there? You two gave us quite a scare today. I thought we were going to lose your momma. I was worried about you, baby girl, but you are going to be just fine. Your momma is going to be fine too. She is going to be the best mom you could ever hope for. She is going to love you, take care of you, and give you the best of everything that she can. You have a lot of people out here who love you already. We are all going to make sure that you have the best life possible, you know that. I want you to know that I would do anything for you and your momma. I won't let anything bad happen to either of you... because I love you... I love you both."

I can no longer control my impulses and I reach my hand over and touch his face. He jumps, startled by my movements, and looks at me. His eyes grow large and a blush creeps across his face. He opens and closes his mouth several times, unable to speak.

"Hey." I smile.

"Um, hey. Did you get a nice nap. Do you need anything? I can get the nurse if you want me to?" He says in a rush.

"Zeke, it's ok."

"So you heard me?" He says and I nod in reply. "This is humiliating. I am so sorry Christina. I shouldn't have said... I mean... I didn't know you could hear me... I just... oh, crap... I will just go." He stands to leave but I catch his hand and stop him.

"Zeke! Please don't go."

"I have to. This is the most embarrassing moment of my entire life, and that is saying a lot since I have done a lot of dares before. I mean once Uriah dared me to..."

"Zeke!" I cut him off. "Sit down." He sits and puts his head in his hands. "Please look at me Zeke."

"I can't, Chris. I know what you must be thinking. You must think I am an idiot right now. I know you are just my friend, and I would never do anything to ruin that. I don't know what got into me. I was just so scared when I found you. I guess I am all mixed up inside. I'm sorry."

"So, wait. Are you saying that you don't love me?" I ask, suddenly feeling disappointed.

"No, I am not saying that, what I mean is... I just don't know."

"You are really confusing me Zeke!"

"I am confusing myself."

"It's not that hard of a question. Do you love me, yes or no?" I say, sitting up.

"Yes." He whispers, the floor tiles suddenly becoming very interesting.

I reach over to him, taking his chin in my hand and force him to look into my eyes for the first time since I woke up. I smile, hoping that I can put him at ease, but he still looks unsure. I make the sudden decision to put any doubts to rest.

I simultaneously lean forward and pull him towards me. I place my lips softly on his, giving just a whisper of a kiss before pulling back. A smile plays on his lips as he leans towards me and captures my lips with his own. The kiss is tentative at first, but quickly becomes deeper and more intense. We stay this way until I hear someone clear their throat and we break apart to see Dr. Zimmer along with Carolina standing just inside the doorway.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to do a follow-up exam." Dr. Zimmer says with a grin on her face.

"Um, I think I will go and... um... try and call Tris again." He gives me a peck on the forehead before rushing out of the room.

"So Let me just check your vitals and then we can talk." She takes my temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate. "It appears that the medication is working as we had hoped. Your temperature and blood pressure are still elevated but they are much closer to normal values. I am confident that, if you continue to improve at this rate, you should be able to be discharged tomorrow evening. However, you will need to be on full bedrest for at least a week while we monitor your vitals with a remote monitoring system. If all goes well, you can get back to normal in about a week or so. Do you have anyone that can stay with you while you are on bedrest?"

"She does." Zeke quickly says. I had not even noticed him come back into the room.

"So you are offering to care for her for the next week."

"Yes. I can help her 24/7."

"What about work, Zeke?" I ask.

"I have vacation time available. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure. I don't want to be a bother."

"Don't even think that, you are never a bother. I want to take care of you. OK?"

"OK." I smile.

"Very well." Dr. Zimmer says. "Now, just so we are clear, you will be on total bedrest. You are only to get out of your bed to use the restroom or take a short shower. Also you are not the engage in... any strenuous activities for at least a few weeks."

"Understood." I say with a nod.

They stay for a few more minutes and give me more information about medications that I will be taking at home, as well as the monitoring system I will be on. Once they leave, Zeke walks back to sit in his chair. I slide over on my bed and pat the spot next to me, for Zeke to sit. He slides in beside me and puts an arm gently around my shoulder. I lean my head on his shoulder and we sit in silence for several long minutes.

"I am so sleepy." I yawn.

"You get some sleep, Chrissy. I will be right here when you wake up." He says, starting to get off the bed.

"Can you... never mind." I stammer.

"Can I what, sweetie?"

"Can you just... stay here and hold on to me for a bit? It's ok if you don't want to."

"Of course I want to. I want nothing more than to stay right here all night, holding you while you sleep. I meant what I said, Christina. I love you. I think I have for a while now, it just took this to make me admit it to myself. I have never been so scared in my entire life. When I saw you lying there, unconscious and bleeding, I panicked. When I couldn't get you to wake up... I thought I had lost you for good. It was like something in me snapped, and I realized just how much it would kill me if you died. All I could think of, was what if I was too late and you or the baby died, or..."

"Hey." I say, cutting him off and wiping a stray tear off his cheek. "It's ok... we are ok. You took good care of us, who knows, you may have saved our lives. But, are you sure that this is what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this." I rub across my stomach. "It is not just me. I am sort of a package deal now. I don't expect anyone to take this on. Who would want to date a girl that is pregnant with someone else's baby? Look at all the trouble I have caused so far, and I still have 24 weeks to go until I have her. Then I will have a baby to take care of. No one needs to add that kind of drama to their life."

"I know I don't NEED to... but Chrissy... I want to. I love you... and I love her." He rubs my stomach.

"I love you too. I'm not really sure what that love means yet, but I do know that I want to find out." I kiss him firmly on the lips and place my head back on his shoulder, pulling the blanket over the two of us. "Now, let's get some sleep."

"Sounds good to me, sweetie." He says before planting a kiss on my temple.

"You know, I have never really liked pet names before... but I like it when you call me that."

"Good thing, because I don't plan to stop either way." He laughs.

"Go to sleep, Zeke." I elbow him softly in the gut, to which he groans dramatically.

"Good night, Chrissy."

I tuck in closely to his side, not having much room in this hospital bed, but glad for the space limitations. I fall asleep, happier than I ever remember being in my entire life. I have always been glad I chose to come to Dauntless, but now I know that it was the best decision I could have ever made.


	63. I Wasn't There

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Feeling a bit stuck again. I have not been sure what to write next, so I just decided to start typing and see where it goes. As for the request for Christina's middle name, I have decided to go with the suggestion of Marie. For her last name, I could not find any information on her having one that is established so I just picked one.

Tris

It is a crazy, long day of meetings and by the time we get back to our cabana, we are so exhausted that I hardly have the energy to change into my pajamas. We stopped by one of the stores here and picked up new chargers for our phones, and plug them both in before we fall asleep.

"T.J., can you turn on and set the alarm on one of our phones so we can make sure we get up on time tomorrow morning?" I ask, not wanting to stand up again.

"I already set the radio alarm on the nightstand, so we should be all set."

"OK. Good night, babe." I say, curling into his side and pulling the blanket over us.

"Good night, honey."

I sleep amazingly well and wake up well rested, before the alarm even goes off. I look and see that Tobias is still fast asleep and decide to take a nice long shower before he gets up. When I finish showering and getting ready, I head back into the bedroom and decide to get my things packed up.

I grab my phone, which is thankfully fully charged and throw the charger in my bag before turning on the phone. I set my phone down to go shut off the alarm, that has just gone off. Just as my phone boots up, I hear my alerts for text messages and voicemail going of repeatedly. Knowing that something must be wrong, I grab my phone quickly and see that I have 5 voicemails and 26 text messages. I look at the first couple text messages and begin totally panicking.

"Tobias! Get up!" I yell, crossing over to the bed.

"Just 5 more minutes, honey." He mumbles.

"Now!" I holler. He sits up quickly, realizing that something is wrong.

"What's wrong, Tris?"

"I just turned my phone on and there are tons of messages from Zeke. Something happened with Christina and he had to take her to the infirmary."

I sit next to him and play the voicemails, hearing Zeke frantically trying to get ahold of us. Tobias grabs his phone and, when turned on, he sees that he has 6 voicemails and 26 text messages... all from Zeke. I am a little bit calmer towards the end of the messages as I see that she is stable and resting.

"I have to go." I say, jumping up and grabbing my jacket and shoes.

"OK. Just let me get ready and we can head out." Tobias says, as he jumps out of bed.

"No, you stay here. One of us needs to be present at the meeting. If I head out now, I might be able to make it on the train that should be by here at about 6:30." I throw on my jacket and begin lacing up my boots.

"OK. I will stay here and take care of the meeting, you go take care of Christina."

"Crap, where did I leave my outfit from yesterday, I need to get packed up and get out of here." I say, rushing around the room.

"Just leave it, honey. I will get your stuff and bring it with me. Just get going."

"Thanks, babe. I will see you later." I grab my phone and give him a quick kiss.

"Give her a hug for me and tell her I will see her as soon as I can get there."

I head out the door and run at a full sprint to the train tracks, hoping that I have not missed the train. If I did, I will have to wait up to an hour before another train comes by. I pace anxiously for a few minutes, until I hear the rumble of the oncoming train. As soon as I see the train getting closer, I begin to jog, getting ready to jump on the train. As soon as I am onboard, I start sending text messages to Zeke, unnerved that I am not getting a response.

Once I see the familiar landmarks, indicating that I am almost back to Dauntless, I hop up and get ready to jump off the train. As I land, I start running, and don't stop until I reach the main entrance to the infirmary. I pause for just a moment before I push through the door and walk to the check in desk, trying my hardest to keep calm.

"Excuse me." I say firmly, trying the get the attention of the clerk, who is currently fixing herself a cup of coffee. "Excuse me!" I say louder. She looks at me and motions that she will be a moment. "No. Not a moment. I need you to get over here and assist me right now. Your coffee can wait!" She sighs heavily and walks over to the desk.

"I need to see a patient. Her name is..." I start.

"You will need to wait until 9 am for visiting hours ,Miss..."

"Prior. Tris Prior." I say, hands on my hips. Her eyes widen as she makes the connection between my name and my position in leadership.

"Oh, I am sorry Miss Prior. I can get you the information that you need. What is the name of the patient?" She says, sheepishly.

"Her name is Christina Lawson."

"OK. Let me take a look." She enters some information into her computer. "She is in room 123. Do you need someone to escort you to her?"

"No, I have got it. Thank you." I say, starting down the hallway.

While I walk to her room, I have to keep reminding myself to keep breathing and not to run. As soon as I reach her door I realize, that despite my best efforts, I am completely out of breath. I take a few moments to compose myself before I walk into the room. Once I am calmed, I quietly push open the door and slip in. I nearly laugh out loud, when I take in the sight before me.

Curled tightly together in the cramped hospital bed, are Christina and Zeke. Christina has her head laying on Zeke's chest and he has his arms wrapped around her with one hand laying on her stomach. They are both sound asleep as I cross the room.

"Well this is new." I blurt out, not intending to say it out loud. I see Zeke stir slightly and open his eyes at the sound of my voice.

"Tris?" He says sleepily. "When did you get here?"

"I just got in. I got your messages when I got up this morning and came straight here. What happened?" I sit in a chair next to the bed.

"OK, I will tell you the whole story from the beginning." He whispered, looking to make sure Christina was still asleep. "I was headed to lunch yesterday and found her collapsed in one of the hallways. It seems that she was walking to the dining hall from the tattoo parlor, and passed out. She hit her head on the wall, which is the cause of the abrasion on her head. When I got her here, they said that she has high blood pressure and a fever that is because of an infection. They have her on medications to fight the infection and bring down her blood pressure. So far, it is working and they are expecting to release her this afternoon or evening. After that, she is on bedrest for about a week while they monitor her blood pressure at home. If that goes well, she will be monitored throughout the rest of her pregnancy to make sure her blood pressure remains normal."

"And the baby?"

"She is fine." He says, rubbing her belly lightly. "A beautiful, healthy baby girl."

"A girl... for sure?" I ask, getting a little loud.

"Shh..." He says. "Yes, it's a girl. They did an ultrasound yesterday to check on the baby and confirmed that she is having a girl. It was amazing, Tris. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen. To see the baby on the screen... it was just... it was so...it was wonderful."

"And what about this?" I say, motioning to the two of them.

"This?" He says, grinning.

"You know what I mean."

"Well, it was all so... traumatic. Seeing her lying there on the floor, not knowing if she was going to live or die, it nearly killed me. I just realized what it would do to me if we lost her. While I was waiting for them to let me see her, I just felt so broken... so helpless. I have known for a while that I care about her as a friend and I have been so excited to be an uncle to her baby, but this changed things."

"Changed?"

"Yeah, it made me realize that I don't just care for her as my good friend. I love her. I love her, Tris. I don't know exactly when it happened, but something inside of me changed. I love her. I admitted everything that I was feeling to her and we decided to give it a chance and see where things go between us." He says and I smile. Just then, Christina starts to move a little bit against his chest.

"Are you talking to yourself or the baby again, Zeke?" She asks, sleepily, eyes still closed.

"Tris is here, sweetie." He says, lifting his hand to stroke her cheek.

"Tris?" She yawns, stretching and opening her eyes.

"Hey Chrissy." I smile. "I hear you gave Zeke here quite a scare."

"So it seems." She grins and gives Zeke a kiss on the cheek.

"I am so sorry I wasn't here for you. My phone died and neither of us had a charger. I wasn't able to turn my phone back on until this morning. As soon as I got the messages from Zeke, I came right here. I am so sorry." I say as a tear slips down my cheek.

"It's ok, Tris, I wasn't alone. Zeke has been here with me for every moment. He hasn't left my side for more than a moment."

"I'm still sorry that I wasn't here for you when you needed me."

"Hey... don't think that way. You came as soon as you knew. Didn't you have a meeting that you had to be in Amity for this morning?"

"Yeah, but it was more important for me to come and be here with you. I had Four stay behind to cover the meeting. By the way, he told me to give you this..." I say standing and hugging her gently. "And he said the tell you that he would be here to see you as soon as he can."

"Will you get in trouble for leaving?"

"No. I called Max on the way here and explained what happened. He said to tell you that he hopes you are doing better and not to worry about anything until you are well."

"And what about my job?" She asked.

"Don't worry about that either. I will get ahold of Tori and get your shifts covered for at least the next couple weeks. If you are not able to work after a few weeks, we will get you covered for as long as needed."

"Thanks, Tris."

"No problem. Not only is it my job, but I would do anything to help you. Speaking of that, for the next week, let's figure out what we are going to do for your bedrest. Do you want to stay at my apartment with us... you would get the bed of course, or do you want me to come stay with you. I have a few things that I can't cancel on my schedule, but I can be with you most of the time and get someone with you when I can't be there."

"It's ok, Tris." Zeke, says. "We have it all figured out. I have already spoken to my supervisor and I am taking my vacation time. I am going to be staying at the apartment with her and will take care of her."

"Are you sure? Because I can make it work..."

"It's ok, Tris." Christina cuts me off. "Zeke can take care of me. But maybe you can come over and relieve him a little bit when you are available."

"OK, that will work for me." I smile.

"Zeke? Could you do me a favor?" Christina asks.

"Anything you need." He says, kissing her temple.

"Can you go get me something to eat. I am so hungry!"

"Of course. Anything specific?"

"Just get me anything but eggs... eggs are not working with my stomach right now... oh, and cake... I NEED some cake."

"Ok, sweetie, I will go get you some cake... with a side of breakfast." He laughs before standing, giving her a quick kiss, and leaving the room.

"So, now that he is gone, what is up with the two of you? He told me his side of things, but..."

"I am still sort of processing it all." She sighs. "You should have seen him, Tris. He was a mess. I have never seen him so... scared. He was so amazing though, totally attentive and calming when I was freaking out. He stayed with me as I slept and when I woke up I found him talking to the baby. It was so sweet, when I woke up, he was saying the sweetest things to her. He was so embarrassed when he realized that I could hear him, but that gave us a chance to talk about how he was feeling and he told me that he loves me."

"And how do you feel about him?"

"I don't know, Tris." She sighs. "I know that I love him and I want to be with him. But I am confused. I can't understand why he would want to be with me while I am pregnant with someone else's baby."

"Did you ask him about that?"

"He said he loves both of us and wants to be in a relationship."

"Well, that's your answer then. He loves you, and wants to be with you."

"What if I don't know if I am in love with him? I have never been in love before... have never even been close. I do love him... but how do I know if I am in love with him?"

"You don't need to know right now. You need to just give yourself a chance to be with him and see if he is the right person for you. You don't need to rush things... just take it as it comes."

Just then Zeke comes back into the room with a tray of food, including several pieces of chocolate cake. We stop our conversation, knowing that we will continue later when he is not with us. Christina decides that this is the perfect time to start taking about my wedding. I try to convince her that we don't need to start thinking about that right now, since he just proposed the night before last. Christina, however, insists that we need to start making our plans right now and pick a date as soon as possible. I convince her that we need to wait on picking the date until we can talk to Tobias.

Before Tobias even arrives back from Amity, Christina has already planned nearly every detail of the wedding. The only things that she has not planned are the date and what everyone will be wearing. Christina will be my maid of honor and my bridesmaids will be Marlene, Lynn, Shauna, and Lena. Tobias and I had already discussed this and he decided on Zeke as best man and Uriah, Will, Jake, and Max as groomsmen. As soon as Christina is cleared to return to normal activity, she is planning on the six girls going shopping for our dresses. She is planning on picking out the clothing for the guys too, but I am going to make sure that they are ok with our choices before we buy anything.

It is just before noon when T.J. gets to the infirmary with lunch for all four of us. I gave him a heads up regarding the new developments between Christina and Zeke. While we are eating, Christina fills Tobias in on all of "our" plans for the wedding. He seems to be in agreement with all her decisions, mostly because neither of us is too particular about it, and we are happy to let her decide for us.

"So Tris insisted that we wait for you to pick the date. So I was thinking it would be nice to have the wedding in the spring... maybe in March. Since it is all going to be inside anyway, we won't have to worry about the chances for bad weather, and the flowers in the Amity greenhouses should be ready by then for decorating." Christina says.

"March works for me. How about if we plan on Saturday, March 29th." Tobias says.

"My birthday?" I ask.

"I think that would be a great day. We got engaged on my birthday, and we could get married on yours. Is that ok with you, honey?"

"That works for me. It will be my best birthday ever." I smile.

So, there we have it. Our wedding date is picked, and all the details are planned. All we have to do is book the space for the ceremony and reception, order the food and flowers, and get our clothes. It seems like a lot to do but still have about 4 months to get it all set.

Later in the afternoon Christina is discharged and sent home with her monitoring equipment. She is insistent that she can walk, but Zeke insists on carrying her home, and she concedes. Once we all get back to her apartment, Zeke and Tobias leave to pick up food for dinner and pack a bag for Zeke. When they get back, they also have the air mattress from our apartment and set it up in Christina's room so he can sleep nearby.

We spend the rest of the evening together, watching a movie after dinner. Christina is stretched out across her couch, using Zeke as a pillow and me as a foot rest. When it is clear that Christina needs to head to bed, I help her get ready and in bed, while Zeke gets her medications ready. I am tempted to stay and sleep on the couch, but Zeke assures me that he is all set and he will call me if they need me.

We head home and spend a few minutes just cuddling on the couch talking about the wedding. I was never one that would dream of her perfect wedding day. In Abnegation, you didn't have big or fancy weddings, so I never really spent much time thinking about it. I am actually really happy that Christina was so eager to make the plans for us. It is going to be a beautiful wedding and I am looking forward to every minute of it.


	64. Bed Rest

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Sorry that I have been slow on updating. I have been really busy and sick at the same time which leads to me wanting to do nothing but sleep when I have free time. On a positive note, I just got a new job and should be starting soon.

Zeke

I have enjoyed taking care of Christina for the last three days. I am with her nearly 24/7, only leaving her when she wants some time alone with Tris. The only problem I have with this entire arrangement is this stupid air mattress, which seems to have sprung a leak. So here I am at 3 am, sitting on the floor, trying to re-inflate it quietly enough to let Christina sleep. The same thing happened last night and I have the sore back to prove it. I am just about to finish blowing it up, when I hear Chris shift on the bed. I stop and sit quietly, hoping that she is still asleep, and in the moment I forget to plug the hole, and let the air out. I sigh and start again.

"Zeke?" She whispers, sleepily.

"Go back to sleep, Sweetie." I say softly.

"What are you doing?"

"Just getting some more air in this mattress."

"Did it break?"

"No, just a little leak. It should last until morning if I fill it now."

"Is that why you have had a sore back? Has it been leaking this whole time?"

"Yeah, but it's fine."

"No. It is not fine. You should have told me that the mattress was hurting you."

"Really, Chrissy, I'm fine."

"NO, you are not. You get in this bed right now."

"It's ok Christina, I don't want to crowd you. You need to get good rest."

"You are right, I do need to be resting well. And how well do you think I am going to be able to rest, knowing that you are lying on the floor in pain?"

"Really, I'm fine."

"Ezekiel Pedrad! Are you going to get in this bed, or am I going to have to drag my pregnant butt out of it and force you?"

"You win." I laugh while I stand and push the air mattress aside.

I slide into the bed next to her and give her a quick kiss before she settles back onto her pillow. I lay on my back, and she scoots closer, pressing her back against my side. My last thought, as I drift off to sleep, is that I could really get used to this.

At some point in the night, Christina must have moved and I slept through it. Because, when I wake up she is now lying on her back pressed to my side with her right leg flung across mine. I want to move, but don't want to wake her so I stay still and just watch her as she sleeps. She suddenly opens her eyes and turns her head towards me.

"Were you watching me sleep?" She smirks.

"And if I was?" I grin.

"That is just strange, Zeke... and a little bit creepy."

"Get over it. You are cute when you are asleep. Plus, it is the only time you are ever silent."

"You are one to talk. When in your life have you EVER stopped talking. I mean, really, do you ever..." She starts and I cut her off with a kiss. When I pull back, she looks at me with a pout.

"What?" I ask.

"You think you are really smart, don't you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you think you are so clever, trying to shut me up like that."

"Never, sweetie. I just could not wait another moment to kiss your lips. If anything, you make me dumber than I have ever been." She glares at me before I continue. "I say that because when I am with you, my brain just shuts down. All I can think about is kissing you, or even just touching you. You take over my brain, sweetie. I can't help it."

"Baby!" She exclaims.

"Aww, so you are calling me baby now?" I smile.

"No, Zeke... the baby... she's moving."

"She is? Can I feel?"

"Yes, put your hand... right about here." I put my hand where she points, but I don't feel anything. I pull my hand back and turn onto my side to face her.

"I couldn't feel anything." I frown.

"Yeah, she stopped moving."

"What did it feel like?" I ask.

"It was kind of like... a cross between fluttering and tapping. It is kind of strange... but wonderful."

"I wish I could have felt it. How about I get up and fix us some breakfast. What would you like today, my dear? Pancakes, waffles, cereal, toast, bacon and eggs... all of the above?"

"She moved again. Feel right here." I place my hand on her again and feel nothing. "Well, she was moving. She seems to start moving when you are talking, and stops as soon as I speak. Let's try something. You put your hands here and start talking to her. Maybe she will move again."

"Hey, baby girl." I say, placing my hands on Christina's stomach. "How are you doing in there? Will you move for Uncle Zeke? I really want to feel you moving." Just then, I feel a big kick.

"Did you feel that?" Christina asks.

"I did... it was... so cool."

"I wonder why she stops moving as soon as I speak."

"Simple. Maybe she likes the sound of her momma's voice and it relaxes her." I say. She smiles. "And she starts moving around for me because she knows how incredibly awesome I am."

"Or maybe... she gets as annoyed by you as the rest of the world does and she is trying to kick you." She grins.

"Oh, so I am annoying?" I ask, pretending to be offended. She simply nods, not fooled one bit. "Well, am certainly glad that you have a fondness for annoying people then."

"I do?"

"Yep. You know you love me." I smirk.

"That, I do."

I turn towards her, take her face into my hands, and give her a long, slow kiss. When I release her, she slides in closer to me and presses herself flush against my body. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back. We remain this way for a while, until we are interrupted by the gentle kicking of the baby between us. I can't help but laugh, as it seems that she is trying to remind us that she is here with us. We both know that, for now, we can't go too far. No physical exertion... at least for the time being.

A few days later...

Christina

I am 17 weeks pregnant today. Tomorrow is my next doctor's appointment and I will find out if I will be released from bed rest. My blood pressure has been consistently good all week and I haven't had any problems, so I am hopeful that I can get out of this bed. It has been nice spending so much time with Zeke and our friends, but bed rest is really annoying. Spending all day lying in bed or on the couch gets old fast.

Tonight all of our friends are coming over and bringing us dinner. Tris and Four are the first to arrive, and immediately start getting everything ready for the dinner. It makes me laugh that, even as Dauntless as they are, they both have so much Abnegation in them. I love just watching them together. They are so in sync with each other as they move through the tasks at hand, that they don't even have to speak as they work together.

I am lying down on the couch while they get everything ready, and feel a little guilty that I am not helping at all. But, I know that even if I tried, they would not allow it. Tris and Four have been almost as overprotective as Zeke since I was put on bed rest. Though I do enjoy being pampered, I am ready to get up and do some things for myself now.

I hear a knock at the door, and see Zeke quickly go to answer. Will, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna have arrived and all come straight over to see me before they settle in. I can see Zeke tense up a bit when will leans down to give me a hug and a little peck on the cheek. I lock eyes with Zeke and give a quick wink, and see him visibly relax. I want him to know, without a doubt, that there is nothing between Will and me. Just as he starts closing the door, someone else knocks. It's Jake, Lena, and a guy I don't recognize, who turns out to be Lena's best friend Garrison. Jake and Lena have been hanging out with us more often lately, and seem to fit in well with our little circle of friends.

Since everyone has arrived, they all set out the food and drinks and start eating. Zeke fixes a plate for me and two for himself and joins me on the couch using my legs, that are stretched across his lap, as a table for his plates of food.

"You doing ok?" He asks quietly.

"I'm fine." I grumble.

"You don't sound fine to me."

"I am just so completely sick and tired of lying down all the time. It has been a week since I have been able to stand for longer than the five minutes I am allowed to take a shower."

"I know, sweetie." He says, talking my hand. "But maybe the doctor will take you off bed rest at your appointment. You have done really well this past week, and I know it has been really frustrating for you. But look at the bright side."

"And that would be?" I ask, not sure I want to hear his answer.

"If you were not on bed rest, you wouldn't have been able to justify spending nearly 24 hours a day with someone as completely awesome as me. You wouldn't have had me here to insist on carrying you everywhere you needed to be, You would have had..."

"Tris!" I cut him off. He scowls but says nothing further.

"Yeah?" She calls across the room.

"Come here!" She hops up and hurries over, looking worried. Zeke also has a strange look on his face, but I can tell he knows there is nothing wrong.

"What's wrong, Chris? Is there something wrong with the baby?" She says.

"Nothing wrong. Actually, something very right. She started kicking and I wanted you to feel. But she stopped. She ALWAYS stops when I start talking. Put your hand right here and start talking to her. Maybe she will do it again." Tris places her hand on my slight belly and leans in.

"Hey there baby. Your momma says you have been kicking her lately. Can you kick a little for Aunt Tris?" So far the baby is still. "Come on little one, just a little kick for me to feel. I know you are comfy in there, but I just want to feel you move a little." Nothing. "Well I guess I can try again another time."

"Strange." I say, as Tris pulls her hand away. "It usually works for Zeke.

"That is because she knows who is the absolute king of awesome around here. I knew she was a smart one." She started kicking again and I grabbed Tris by the wrist and put her hand on the right spot, without speaking.

"Wow." Tris smiles. "That is... so strange... but amazing."

"I know, and imaging it happening inside your stomach."

"Maybe one day." Tris says, sneaking a wink towards Four.

Before I knew it, everyone was taking turns feeling her kick. Eventually I started feeling like a bit of a side show and had to put a stop to it. We decided to play a few games like at most of the parties in Dauntless, but kept them to things that were not physical since I am still stuck lying down. I had not even realized how tired I was, until I awoke as Zeke lifted me off the couch to carry me to bed. All of our friends had just left and apparently I had been asleep for about an hour. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and saw that it was midnight. I used to be able to stay of until 3 or 4 am with no problems, and now I wasn't even able to make it to midnight before I was out.

The next morning I wake up and quickly get ready for my doctor's appointment. I know that all my vitals have been good since I was released from the infirmary last week, but I am still worried that I will be told to remain on bed rest. I will, of course, if they feel that is what is best for the baby. But, I am so tired of being in this bed, I think my head is going to explode. Once I am dressed and ready, I sit in the wheelchair, that Zeke insisted we keep on hand in case of emergency, and we head to the infirmary.

Tris is waiting for us when we arrive and has already checked me in. We only have to wait for about five minutes before we are called back to an exam room. After the nurse is done taking my vitals and asking some questions, she leaves to send in the doctor. Soon after, Dr. Zimmer, Chelsea, and Marlene all enter together.

"So how have you been feeling, Christina?" Chelsea asks.

"I am feeling fine. Just ready to get out of my stupid bed."

"Well, let's see if we can allow that." Dr. Zimmer says, coming to the bed and looking over my chart. He then hands it to Chelsea who looks it over with Marlene.

"It seems that, according to the monitors, your blood pressure has been consistently in the normal range. And your temperature is also normal, indicating that the infection is gone. Have you had any additional dizzy spells or moments of light-headedness?" Chelsea asks.

"No. I have felt fine all week."

"Ok." Dr. Zimmer begins. "It seems that you are in much better condition, and I feel it is safe to remove you from total bed rest."

"Thank you!" I smile.

"However, you are still to follow some restrictions. You may return to work, but for the next two weeks, you are not to work any longer than four hours a day. Also, you are to take a break every 2 hours. Then I want to see you for another appointment to make sure you are still doing well. If all is still normal, you may return to regular activity. I still will want you to take frequent breaks during that time. And, if at any time you start having more dizziness, you are to come here right away. We are not going to take any chances with this and will need to know at the first sign of re-occurrence. Understand?"

"Yes. Thank you so much." I say. The doctor shakes my hand and leaves the room.

"Chris? Do you think it would be ok if I did an ultrasound for you? Chelsea will still be here, but I need the practice."

"You sure can. I would love to get another look. Can you take another look to make sure she is indeed a girl? I am having to hold off paying a bet with this one until I am 100% sure." I say nudging Zeke.

Marlene pushes the ultrasound machine over and begins setting it up. Once she is ready she lifts my shirt, exposing my belly, and squirts on the cold blue gel. I shiver at the contact, but am immediately distracted as I see the image of my baby come up on the screen. She is beautiful. I don't know what I am looking at some of the time, but I know in my heart she is beautiful. Marlene continues probing my belly, showing me different parts of the baby and taking measurements.

"Everything looks to be perfect." Chelsea says. "Now, Marlene, move the wand to right about here and we should be able to confirm the gender." Marlene moves the wand as directed. "Good. Hold it right there. You see right there? This is for sure a girl. You may need to pay up on that bet. So have you been feeling much movement?"

"A little bit. She seems to kick a lot when this guy is talking." I nudge Zeke again.

"I keep telling her that she is simply responding the how awesome I am." Zeke grins.

"Or maybe..." Marlene begins. "You are getting on her nerves like you do to the rest of the world, and she is trying to shut you up."

"That is what I said." I laugh and give Marlene a high five.

We finish the appointment, and schedule my next for two weeks from today. Zeke and I walk back to my apartment in silence. Zeke is never quiet for this long, so something must be wrong.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

"Nothing." He replies, but I am not buying it. I stop and grab his hand to stop him.

"Ezekiel Daniel Pedrad." I say, making a mental note to thank Tris for telling me his middle name. "You tell me what is wrong right now."

"It's just that... I... I have really enjoyed spending this last week together, and I am kind of sad that I will have to go back to my apartment. I just really love waking up next to you in the morning."

"Just because I am not on bed rest anymore and don't need you waiting on me hand and foot all the time, doesn't mean you can't stay with me some times. Hey, you can even still wait on me hand and foot when you do."

"That's so generous of you." He chuckles.

"How about this... We can plan on you staying the night tonight again. After that, we can just play it by ear. Sometimes you can stay with me, sometimes I will stay with you, and sometimes we will stay in our own apartments. We will see what happens... OK?" I say, pulling him closer.

"OK." He replies kissing me gently. Then he suddenly surprises me by scooping me into his arms and taking of running.

I am overwhelmed at how much I love this silly, childish, loving, caring, amazing man. I don't know exactly when or how it happened... but I love him so much. I know I have never really been in love before, but if this is what it feels like, I know I am ready.


	65. Holidays - Dauntless Style

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I know that it has been a very long time since I have updated. I hope that, once we are out of the holiday season, I can update more often. Merry Christmas to you all.

Tris

I wake up, earlier that I need to, and discover that Tobias is already out of bed. It is strange that he is already up, since it is Saturday, and neither of us has any plans today. I reluctantly drag myself out of bed and realize that he is no where in the apartment. He normally leaves me a note if he leaves before I am up, but there is nothing. I try to call him, but his phone goes straight to voicemail. I decide to get dressed and see if he went to Zeke's or his office. I am just about to head out the door when I hear him unlock it.

When the door opens, I am confused for a moment, as Tobias enters, dragging a pine tree behind him. It never even dawned on me, until that moment, that Christmas is exactly one week from today. It was considered selfish to celebrate holidays back in Abnegation, so I have never actually had a Christmas tree.

Growing up, my parents had to hide the fact that they did not always behave like typical Abnegation parents. So, even though we acknowledged and even celebrated events like our birthdays and other holidays, it was always very reserved and subtle. We did not have full on birthday parties, but we were given a simple gift, were excused from chores, and were treated with our favorite meal. When it came to Christmas, we did not decorate, but we did give each other a small gift. It was usually something that we made, and I remember it being the thing I looked forward to most all year.

T.J. brings the tree into the room, and it instantly fills the air with it's aroma. He moves the tree closer to the windows and places it in a metal stand. I run across the room and tackle him to the floor in a hug.

"What was that for?" He asks.

"You brought me a Christmas tree. I have never had one before." I grin.

"This is the first time I have ever had one before either."

"You didn't get one either of the last two years?" I ask.

"No." He shrugs. "I never say a point. I mean, it was really just me here. Now that you are here with me... I don't know... I thought we could start our own traditions. It's corny, I know, but I always dreamed of having a tree as a child. I wished I could have had a family that would get a tree and spend time together decorating it. And now, since we are a family... well... going to be I guess, I thought we could do this together. What do you think?"

"I think you are the most amazing man in the world. And it's not at all corny... it is perfect. We are a family, and this is going to be a wonderful tradition to start. Do you know how much I love you Tobias James?"

"I think I just might... but I never get tired of hearing it. And I love you."

"Can we go get some decorations?" I ask.

"Lead the way, my love."

We spend the next few hours buying lights, ornaments, and other decorations. Then we stop at Christina's apartment to invite her and Zeke over to help us decorate. Since she has been off of bed rest, they are still spending most of their time together, spending most nights at one another's apartments. They head back to our apartments with us and we all decorate our tree. I can't help but feel like this is how everything was meant to be in my life. Spending time with the people I love, making memories that will last a lifetime.

The next week is filled with parties throughout the faction. Dauntless does everything big, and Christmas is no exception. There seems to be at least 2 parties every night that we are invited to, and we try to make it to as many events as possible. Last night, we went to a dinner party at Max's house for the members of leadership and their significant others.

Tonight is Christmas eve, and Tobias and I are having a party for all of our friends. Christina and Zeke have been with us all afternoon getting ready. After we had the apartment all set up, she then decided to spend the next three hours getting the two of us ready. Considering it normally takes me less than 30 minutes to get ready, this seems to take forever. But, I have to admit that the results are worth the time.

I may fight her at times, but she certainly knows what she is doing when it comes to fashion. It never ceases to amaze me, that she can take a pile of makeup and other supplies, and use them to make me look beautiful. Tonight she has me wearing a tight, knee length, black dress that has red trim. I even consented to wearing the insanely high heels that she brought over with her.

She is wearing a strapless black lace dress that flared out over her little baby bump. At nearly 20 weeks pregnant, she is still smaller than most pregnant women I have known, but she is definitely showing. As I watch her steadily growing, I can't help but think about the future. I plan to be married for a few years before trying for a baby, but it is exciting to think about. I find myself looking at Christina and imagining my own stomach stretching and changing to accommodate my growing child.

I am snapped out of my little fantasy when the front door flies open, and Uriah makes his " grand entrance ". He rushes to me and spins me around in a crushing hug. He is one of the most energetic, crazy, yet kind-hearted people I know. Soon, our apartment is filled with the rest of our friends... this little family that we have created for ourselves. I never expected this life, but I know without a doubt, that my life is richer, fuller, crazier, and far more wonderful than I thought was possible.

We spend the entire evening laughing, dancing, talking, and playing games. This has been one of the best parties that I have been to in the months that I have been in Dauntless... and I have been to a lot of parties. It is nearly 2 am before anyone starts leaving. At around 4 am, Christina and Zeke are the last to head out, Zeke insisting on carrying her back to her apartment.

I quickly head to the bathroom to change for bed, and when I walk back out, I am surprised to see Tobias sitting on the bed with a large flat wrapped box in his hands.

"Merry Christmas, honey." He grins, extending the gift towards me.

"Aren't we supposed to wait until the morning to exchange our gifts?" I ask.

"Well, technically, it is Christmas morning." He laughs. "Plus I don't want to wait any longer to give you your gift."

"Wait here then." I say while I am heading to get my gift for him out of the closet. Once I get back to the bed, I climb up next to him and we exchange our packages.

"You first." I insist.

He carefully opens the paper while I anxiously wait to see his reaction. I have been so excited to give him his gift since I came up with the idea, the night I found his sketch book. But, now that he has the gift in his hands and is ready to open it, I'm worried that he won't like it. As he flips through the pages of the book, I see a smile spreading across his face, and all worries about his reaction are relieved.

"Tris, this is..." He begins.

"Our story." I smile. He continues looking at page after page, of the moments of our lives together. I have included stories, my favorite memories, photos through the years, and most of the pictures copied from his sketch book.

"How did you do this?"

"Well, I have been working on it for a little while. The stories were the easy part... those are moments and memories that I hope I never forget. The pictures were kind of a surprise to me at first. My mom brought them to me when she came for visiting day. I didn't even know that half of these existed. I guess that is just another way that she is not typical Abnegation. Not the sketches, those were not easy to get my hands on without you knowing. Do you like it?"

"Like it? Honey, that is the most amazing thing you could ever have given me. There is just one problem with it... there is absolutely no way that my gift to you will ever compare." He says with a smile before leaning to give me a gentle kiss. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome T.J. I am just glad you like it. I am certain that I will love your gift... no matter what it is."

"We will see." He grins. "Now go ahead and open it.

I carefully remove the ribbon, pull off the paper, and lift the lid of the simple box. What I find inside, leaves me breathless. Inside the box is a framed picture, one that I know he drew. The image is drawn to painstakingly beautiful perfection. It is a picture of my family. It is set in my living room with my parents sitting on the couch side-by-side, holding hands. I am sitting next to my mom, and Caleb is in a chair near my dad. We are all smiling, looking very happy and peaceful... even Caleb, which just goes to show the extent to Tobias' imagination. I am amazed at how detailed and intricate it is. As I lift it from the box, I discover that under it, is another framed drawing. This one is my other family. This rag-tag bunch of Dauntless that, at this point, I can't imagine my life without.

"This is... you are... amazing Tobias. I love you more than I can even try to express."

"And I love you." He replies, as he wipes away a tear that is gliding down my face.

Shortly after, we both decide it is far too late to be awake, and we go right to bed. I am far beyond happy, as I drift off to sleep. The only thing that would make my life any better right now, was if I was able to see my parents. I miss my dad and Caleb too... but it is especially hard for me to go this long without seeing my mom. I know that I made this decision, and I am happy that I came to Dauntless, but I can't help but regret the fact that I can't see her whenever I want.

This is the first Christmas in my life, that I will not wake up to see her smiling as she prepares a special breakfast for us. No one in Abnegation ever knew, except Tobias, that my parents did special things for us on holidays. On Christmas, my mom would get up extra early and prepare home made cinnamon rolls, covered in sticky sweet icing, and fresh orange juice. I make a mental note that I should find out how to make the rolls, and maybe next year, I can make them on Christmas morning.

When I wake up, it is nearly noon and I swear I must still be dreaming, because before my eyes even open, I am certain I can smell cinnamon. When I open my eyes, I see that T.J. is already out of bed, but is no where in sight. I drag myself up and see that he has breakfast set out on the table... including cinnamon rolls.

"I am sure they are not as good as the ones that your mom makes, but..." I hear him saw from behind me.

"They smell wonderful. I am surprised that you remember."

"Tris, you... your parents... that was the only good thing I had in my life after my mom died. Your family was so amazing to me. I remember it was about two or three years after we met that you sneaked over to my house on Christmas morning, to bring me a cinnamon roll. It was the first time I had ever had anything so delicious. From that point, my Christmas day cinnamon roll was one of the things I looked forward to most. I know these won't be quite as good, but..."

"You are too good to me, babe."

"It is nothing more than you deserve."

We sit down to enjoy the wonderful breakfast that he has prepared. I would never tell him this, but he right, that these are not as good as the ones my mom makes. I wonder if she is making them this year, now that it is just my dad with her... I hope so. But, I vow to myself that next year, I will make them just like my mom. After breakfast, I insist on cleaning up. We spend the rest of the afternoon, simply relaxing together and enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. We take a walk around the Faction, just enjoying our time together.

At about 6, we go to Christina's apartment for dinner with her, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, and Hana. I have met Hana a few times, but after spending more time with her, I can definitely tell where her sons got their personalities. She is as outgoing and energetic as either of them, which I guess is how she managed to keep up with them growing up.

At the end of the evening, Tobias and I head back to our apartment and watch a movie before heading to bed. It is an old Christmas movie that I have watched before bed on Christmas every year of my life. After we finally go to bed, I am too happy and excited to fall asleep right away, and just lie there staring at the lights on my very first Christmas tree, thinking about the wonderful things that are to come in my life.


	66. Approval

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I hope you like this chapter. It is one that I have had in mind for a while, and I REALLY enjoyed writing it. I actually have a few chapters planned out (one of which is already written) but need to get through some other chapters before I fit them into the story line. Thanks for the great comments.

Tobias

This morning, Christina is helping me with a surprise for Tris. I have something that I would like to set up for our wedding day, and need to start working on it now. Christina was more than happy to help me out, since her part in the plan, involved taking Tris shopping for dresses. Christina has been bugging Tris since they day she was released from bed-rest, Tris has been stalling, but she could only hold her off for so long. So when Christina asked to go today, at my recommendation, it was not too difficult to convince her to give in and "Get it over with".

I hear a knock at the door and when I answer it, see Christina, Lynn, Shauna, Marlene, and Lena are all there. Christina and Lena both look extremely excited about the day ahead, and Shauna and Marlene look somewhat happy to be there. Lynn, on the other hand, seems to be dreading it about as much as Tris is.

"Hey." I say, as I open the door wider to let them in. "Tris is in the bathroom getting ready. She should only be a few more minutes." They all walk in and, while the others head to sit on the couch, Christina and I hang back in the kitchen area.

"Thanks, for getting her out of the apartment today. I owe you." I say.

"I will take any excuse I can to go shopping. Besides, I have been trying to convince her to go pick out these dresses for a while now. So, are you finally going to tell me what you have up your sleeve?" She smiles.

"Not a chance!"

"Come one, Four. You know I can keep a secret."

"Really, Christina, You... a former Candor... trying to convince me that you can keep a secret?"

"You have no idea how many secrets I have kept. In fact, you know how well I kept you and Tris a secret." She says with a mock pout.

"OK, I will just tell you one thing. I am working on seeing if I can get a surprise, something Tris will love, delivered on our wedding day. Don't bother, pushing me for more details... because that is all I am going to say."

"Ok, fine. I will let it go for now. But I am not going to give up entirely."

"I wouldn't expect it any other way." I laugh. Just then Tris walks out of the bathroom, ending our conversation.

"Let's get this over with." Tris grumbles.

"Oh, come on, Trissy! This is going to be fun. How many times in your life do you get to go shopping for your wedding dress and your bridesmaids dresses?" Christina said, grabbing her by the arm and leading her towards the others.

"Thankfully only once." She laughed.

"Exactly, so we are going to make the most of today. Let's get going."

They all get up and head out the door, practically dragging Tris and Lynn behind. Once they are out the door, I get ready to go and head straight to the train tracks. It takes about a half an hour for the next train to come by, and in that time, I can't seem to stop pacing back and forth. I am anxious about this visit. I am not even sure if I am going to be able to accomplish my mission, but I am certainly going to try.

The train ride seems all too short, but I am glad to arrive at my destination. It has been over two years since I have stepped foot in this Faction, and I feel nervous even being here. The moment I jump from the train, I feel like I never left. Everything is the same, from the simple dirt paths and walkways to the drab grey buildings. Abnegation.

Honestly, I never planned to come back here once I transferred, but here I am. As much as I didn't want to come back to this drab, dull place, I know it will be worth it if I am able to get what I came here for. This will be worth it... I hope.

I start to relax, as I make my way to the only place in this entire faction that ever felt like home, the Prior's house. I just have to hope that they are home today, otherwise this entire day will have been a waste. I quickly make my way to the house and, without even giving it a thought, head straight to the back door.

As soon as I knock on the door, I begin wondering if I made a mistake by coming here, and nearly turn and leave. But I decide that I need to see this through, regardless of the outcome. I know that Tris' mom will not be a problem, after all, she has always been great to me. I worry about what her dad's reaction will be when I tell him why I am here. I don't have long to think about it, before the door opens and I see a very confused looking Natalie Prior. Her confusion quickly turns into a smile and she is out the door, enveloping me in a crushing hug, in a second.

"Tobias?" She gasps. "What are you doing here? Is everything ok? How is Tris? Is she ok?"

"Everything is good... very good in fact. Tris is doing great." I reply.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to talk to you and Mr. Prior. Is he home?"

"He just went to the store, but should be home in about 5 minutes. Do you want to come in?"

"Yes, please."

I follow her inside and am suddenly taken back to the time, before I left Abnegation, when this was the only place that I was ever truly happy. She leads me into the living room and we both take a seat on the sofa. I am trying to figure out what to say, when the front door opens and I see Andrew walk in. He doesn't seem to notice me at first, since I am not directly in view from the front door. I stand to greet him, and see the same confused look that was on his wife's face just minutes before.

"Tobias, is that you?" He asks.

"Yes, sir. How are you Mr. Prior?"

"I am doing quite well, and please call me Andrew. How about you?"

"I am doing very well. May I help you with those bags?" I ask, trying to cut through the awkwardness.

"If you would like." He replies, as I reach and take the bags from his hands. I head towards the kitchen, followed by Mr. and Mrs. Prior.

"Now that Andrew is home, do you want to tell us the reason for your visit? I mean, we are more than happy to see you, but I know that this must be more than just a social call."

"You are right about that, Mrs. Prior..."

"Now, what have I told you about that Tobias James?" She laughs.

"I apologize Mrs... I mean... Nat... I mean, mom." I stutter.

"Don't be so nervous Tobias. You are with family here." She says, looking over to Andrew.

"Why don't we all have a seat and relax for a moment?" He says, gesturing towards the kitchen table and chairs.

"OK. So let's start easy. How have you been doing, dear. And how is my girl?"

"I am doing well, thanks for asking. Tris is... well amazing as always." I grin.

"So the last time I say the two of you was visiting day. Can you tell me how her initiation went? What is she doing now? Is she fitting in there? What about her friends? And what about..." Natalie shoots off at a hundred miles an hour.

"Whoa, Natalie... darling, give the boy a moment to answer." Andrew laughs.

"Tris was phenomenal in initiation. She ranked number one out of everyone, transfers and Dauntless born. As far as what she is doing now... well since she did so well in initiation, she got to pick first when it came time to select a job. She chose two since one is seasonal. She is going to be working with me to train the next group of transfer initiates. Now for her other job, she got to pick the job, but she also had to be approved by those already in the position."

"What kind of job is it?" Natalie asks.

"Tris is now one of the members of leadership in Dauntless... I am too, actually."

"Seriously?!" She says with a wide grin. "My little girl, a faction leader at such a young age. And you too? I am so proud of you both."

"Thank you. I am pretty proud of her myself. Now what was next? Right... is she fitting in? You could say that. She is very well loved, and more importantly respected, by so many members of the faction. She is for sure the favorite leader among the people. Now for our friends... Well they are a unique bunch to say the least, but I think you would really like them all. In fact I am hoping that you will be able to meet them... in just a couple months, if you agree."

"Meet them? How and when would we do that. It is only the middle of January, so even if we were to meet up with them at the Choosing Ceremony, or visiting day, that would not be until September." Andrew says.

"Well that's just it. There is going to be an... event in Dauntless, and I was hoping that I could convince the two of you to come for it. I know it is not ideal to ask you to leave the faction when there is not an official business reason, but I already have talked to Max, and he said that he is ok with you coming if you would like."

"What kind of 'event' are you talking about Tobias?"

"Well, it's a wedding."

"A wedding? Whose wedding?" Andrew asks

"Actually... it's my wedding... and... well... your daughter's." I say quietly. I am suddenly afraid that they, mainly Tris' dad, will be angry at this.

"Wait... did you say that you... and Tris... are getting married?" Natalie sputters.

"Yes. We are getting married on her birthday, March 29th."

"But when I was there, back in September, you two didn't seem like you were... well, were you together back then?" She asks.

"Not really. I mean sort of... but not really. You both know that Tris and I have always had a very close friendship. We have since I was 10 years old and she was 8. When you came to visit, everything was just so new with her being in Dauntless, it was a bit awkward at first. We decided that it was really best for us just to continue being friends with no further expectations."

"So how do you go from just being friends, to getting engaged in a matter of 4 months?"

"It didn't take long for the two of us to get close again. Closer than we had ever been, in fact. I have loved her since the day we met, and that love has just multiplied over the years. I... we both... just needed some time to learn about the person that the other had become during the two years that we were apart. And I for one, fell in love with the person that she has become more than I ever thought possible. She is the most amazing person that I have ever met, and I know for a fact that it is because of you two. You were the most incredible parents that anyone could ask for. Tris was blessed to have been raised in this house and I only hope we can be a fraction of the parents that you were to our future children."

"Your future children? Is Tris..." Natalie trails off.

"No. No, she is definitely not pregnant. There is no way that she is pregnant, we haven't... um I mean..." I stutter.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything else." Andrew cuts in, ending my nervous string words. "You don't have to say anything else."

"Thank you." I sigh. "So, yes, in a matter of months, I realized that I would want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life married to her. And thankfully, she has decided that I am worthy of her love, and wants to marry me too."

"Tobias, of course you are worthy of her love. Dear, you have never realized your true worth. I know why you would feel that way... but you are worth far more that you know."

"Mr. Prior? What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking that she is still my baby girl and now she is getting married. I know she is all grown up, in a new faction, and a leader at that. But to me she will always be that tiny, frail little baby that she was at birth."

"Frail?" I ask. Tris has always been tiny, but I have never known her to be described as frail.

"Have you never heard about when Tris was born?" Natalie asks, to which I just shake my head. She gets up for a moment and returns with a small picture frame in her hands. She hugs it to her chest as she speaks.

"Tris is... well, she is our little miracle. Caleb was just a month and a half old when I found out I was pregnant... about 3 weeks pregnant. I had never intended on getting pregnant again so soon, but... well things happen." She laughs.

"Anyway, once I got over the shock, I was ecstatic to be having another baby. I was due on July 19th, so our two children would be about just under 11 months apart. I imagined them growing up together, so close. I was 19 weeks pregnant when I thought that dream was coming to an end. At 19 weeks, I woke up one morning and was in so much pain I could barely see straight... and the blood... I will never forget the blood." She pauses and Andrew takes her hand gently in his.

"Anyway, we went to the hospital here, but they were not equipped to handle a case like mine and sent us to the bigger hospital in Erudite. I was immediately put on complete and total bedrest. I had more wires and tubes coming out of me than I could count. But I knew it would all be worth it if it could save my baby. I found out that day that we were having a girl. My baby girl! All I could think of was keeping that tiny baby safe inside me. Keeping her protected until she was strong enough to be born... strong enough to survive." She stops to wipe away a stray tear.

"For the next five weeks I laid in that bed, barely moving an inch. Not even allowed to get up long enough to use the restroom. It was frustrating, but I knew it would be worth it to protect my baby. But in the end, it just wasn't enough. At 24 weeks and 2 days gestation, our baby girl was born. She was so tiny, impossibly small, but she was a fighter even then. Our 1 pound 6 ounce, 13 inch long, little fighter. I had never felt so much happiness in my entire life, as I did the moment I saw her for the first time. So much happiness... and so much fear." She takes the photo she has been clutching against her chest and hands it to me. I look and see the tiniest baby I have ever seen, with so many tubes and wires attached, that there seem to have been more plastic in the incubator than there was baby. I run my finger over the picture, trying to connect the picture of this tiny, fragile baby, with the vibrant, strong person I know and love.

"I had a really hard time at first not knowing if she would even survive, and if she did manage to live, would she be able to lead a happy, normal life. I was so focused on my fears that I could not see anything else. I was so depressed that I barely ate for days after she was born. All I could manage to do was drag myself to the NICU and sit watching her in her incubator, hoping and praying that she would live. I was wasting away to nothing and eventually I was too sick to even sit with her. But when I was at my worst, I had Andrew there to remind me to look for the happiness. So I tried, and when I failed to find it, he was there to remind me. This baby... she was my happiness. Do you know where her name came from?" She asks.

"No, I don't think she ever mentioned it before." I reply

"Well, the name Beatrice means 'she who brings happiness'. I could see no better name for her. So as the weeks passed, no matter the ups and downs, I had my happiness. It didn't take long before she was surprising us all, she was getting stronger by the day and surpassing all expectations that the doctors had for her. At first they told me that, if she even survived, it would be at least 5 months before we could even consider bringing her home. But she proved them wrong, and 3 months to the day from her birth, she came home. When she was born, they told us that she would likely have any number of health problems from developmental delays to possible blindness... but she proved them wrong."

"Wow." Is all I can manage to say. They both look at me and smile.

"So that is why this is all such a challenge to think about her growing up and getting married. She is still our baby girl... always will be." Andrew says with a small grin.

"So, are you ok with this?" I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer. They exchange a look before he speaks.

"Yes, son, we are. I am just glad that she has found someone who loves her... almost as much as we do."

"I do, sir. I love her with everything I am. She is everything to me."

"Then you have our blessing." Natalie says. "We would be honored to have you in our family, to have you as our son."

"Do you think... well, would you be able to come to the wedding? I know it would mean the world to her if you were there."

"Of course we will be there." She says. "We wouldn't miss it for the world."

We talk for a while longer before I finally need to head back home. They both give me a hug before I leave and promise to keep in touch. I brought a cell phone that I am leaving with them so we can talk and text whenever we want. Cell phones are yet another thing that is too "selfish" to have in Abnegation. I slip out the back door, ready to head back home. I am barely 10 steps away from the house when my worst fear is realized.


	67. Confrontation

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I know that this was probably the easiest thing to guess, so not much of a cliff hanger, but I really felt it needed to be separate from the last chapter. And, yes, I know that there are a couple moments that are kind of corny, but they seemed to fit. Anyway, onward and upward we go.

Tobias

Previously...

I slip out the back door, ready to head back home. I am barely 10 steps away from the house when my worst fear is realized.

I stop dead in my tracks the moment I see him, and subconsciously, take a step backwards. For a split second, I hope that he has not noticed me, or if he did, maybe he does not recognize me. But, that is not the case. It only takes a moment for that all too familiar expression to cross his face. The look that he used to get just before he would punish me for whatever he had determined I had done wrong at that time. Needless to say, I became very accustomed to that look, over the years. I take a deep breath and steel myself for what I know is coming.

"What do you think you are doing here?" He says, harshly... more an accusation than a question. He takes two steps closer.

"I am here for reasons that do not concern you, Marcus."

"Don't you dare defy me Tobias. I am still you father. You will show me respect." He takes another step in my direction and I have to fight the urge to take a step back.

"Respect?! Since when do you think you deserve my respect, Marcus?" I nearly spit at him.

"Tobias Eaton!" He yells as he closes in on me, getting within arms reach, yet I remain planted in my spot. "I am your father, young man, and as such, you will respect me!"

"If I have learned one thing over the past two years, it is that respect must be earned. And you... have never done a single thing to earn my respect." I say simply.

"You arrogant... self indulgent... miserable excuse for a human being. Do you honestly think that you can get away with speaking to me in that manner without facing the consequences?" He yells. He lifts his hand, as if to slap me across the face, but I do not move... I do not flinch. I will not show even an ounce of fear to this man. He seems to notice this and lowers his hand back to his side, looking slightly defeated at my lack of reaction.

"Now, I begin as confidently as possible. "If you would care to move out of my path, I will be on my way."

"You still have not answered my question as to why you are here."

"I have no intention of answering your question. I am here for reasons of my own... reasons that I do not feel the need to share with you."

"I am THE leader in this faction and you have no business coming here without a good reason. I could have you tried for treason."

"First off... you are a leader in this faction... yes, you are the "head" leader... but still, you are not the only one in charge around here. Second... as I myself am a member of leadership in my own faction, I have the rights and authority to move among the factions as I see fit."

"You?! A leader? It seems they will allow anyone to be in charge over there."

"Excuse me." I say, as calmly as I can muster. "But, I have worked hard to get where I am in my faction."

"You can say whatever you want, Tobias, but I know who you really are and what you are really capable of. You have never been anything but a lazy, good for nothing..."

"Shut up, Marcus!" I shout, cutting him off.

"How dare you speak to me in that tone, young man." He says before rearing back to hit me.

This time, it is very clear that he intends on making contact. Just as he brings his hand forward, aiming his clenched fist at my face, I decide to put a stop to this situation once and for all. As he swings his fist forward, I put my training into action, easily blocking his attack. In that motion, I grab him by the wrist, turn him around, and shove him so that he is just out of reach. He turns back around to face me, but I see that his attention is pulled somewhere to my right. I step further back and turn to see what he is looking at, knowing that he is not in range to touch me, even if he tried. I see what has caught his attention, Tris' parents have come out of the house, though I am not sure how much of this exchange that they are witnessed.

"You have just made a HUGE mistake, Tobias." Marcus growls, bringing my attention back to him. "I will have you arrested for this."

"You will do no such thing, Marcus." Natalie says, with an eery calmness in her tone.

"You both saw what he did to me, that was assault, and I will have him punished for his actions."

"Don't even try to pretend that you didn't start this. We saw the whole thing Marcus. You are not fooling anyone." Andrew says, as they both walk over to where I am standing.

"Andrew Prior, I am your superior. You really need to mind your own business or you will certainly regret it. This is my son, and it is my business what occurs between the two of us."

"We are not afraid of you!" Natalie says in that still calm tone.

"And that is your error in judgement. I could have him removed from his position as easy as that." He says with a snap. "Remember who truly has the power in this faction." At that I hear something that I have never heard before... Andrew Prior, the most even tempered person I have ever met... bursts out laughing.

"Just what are you laughing at?" Marcus glares.

"Oh, just at the fact that you think you can hurt me... hurt either of us, with your threats." He says as the laughter subsides. "You may have held the power over this faction for a long time. But no more!"

"And exactly what do you think you can do about it?"

"Oh, Marcus... you have no idea how much we information we have on you. You are finished, Marcus! You may as well make peace with it right now, because your days in Abnegation leadership are numbered, there is nothing that you can do about it."

"What do you seem to think you have on me?" Marcus retorts. I have gone silent at this time, not sure exactly what is happening, but eager to see how it plays out.

"What don't we have on you? Years, Marcus... for years we tired to prove what kind of man you were, but we failed."

"Oh, and exactly what were you trying to prove me to be?" Marcus snorts.

"You know who... what you are." Andrew continues. "For years you mistreated, neglected and physically abused you own son. What kind of man does that? We tried... and failed to get him out of your home for years." He looks at me. "I am so sorry, Tobias. I am sorry we failed you."

"You didn't fail me, Andrew. I have seen the reports. I know how much you tried to help me."

"I know that Natalie has asked you to call her mom... and if you would like to, you can call me dad." He smiles, ignoring the glare coming from Marcus' direction.

"I think I would like that." I reply.

"Call you dad?!" Marcus rages. "I am his father... ME! Not you!"

"You have never deserved that title." Andrew says, more calmly than before. "He is an adult now. He can decide for himself who his family is... who he wants to be a part of his life. And I have a feeling that his decision does not include a cruel, masochistic, coward like you."

"You are going to regret this Prior." Marcus says.

"I will regret nothing. You, have no idea what you have coming to you. You are out. Your days in Abnegation leadership are numbered. You will be lucky if you are not Factionless by this time next week."

"And how do you think that you are going to make that happen?"

"Information!" Andrew shrugs. "And boy, do I have a lot of information. I have it all... reports, records, detailed information that will show without a doubt, all the corruption that you have brought into this faction over the years. And, it is not just the information in regards to Tobias, I have it all. Or, at least, I have a lot... and if there is more... trust me I will find it. You are done! So if you know what is best, you will turn around and walk away. Otherwise you will find out what I can truly do when I set my mind to something."

"You are lying! You have nothing on me. You..." Marcus stutters, more on edge and flustered than I have ever seen him.

"We both know that I do. Walk away Marcus, before I decide that the Factionless sector is your new home... and trust me when I say that my decision will be what counts."

At that, Marcus turns and storms away. I stand there, stunned, for a few minutes. I am led back into the house, and we all sit together in the living room. We sit in silence for a few minutes before anyone even utters a single word.

"Thank you." I say quietly.

"You don't need to thank us. I just wish that I could have done something about him years ago. Then maybe you wouldn't have had to deal with..."

"Please don't blame yourself." I cut him off. "Your family was the only good part of my childhood. You daughter is the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I have you to thank for that."

"I just wish..." Natalie trails off.

"There is no point." I smile. "What's done is done. We can't turn back time, we can only move forward, and that's all I want to do. I just want to move forward in my life. My life that includes marrying Tris, and starting our lives together. I thank you both. I thank you for raising your daughter to be the best person in the entire world. The day I met her, she saved me... and over the years, you all kept saving me. I really do love you all. You are my family!"

I stand to leave and they walk me to the door. They both hug me tightly, before I walk out. They promise that they will keep in touch and will be at the wedding no matter what. I head to the train tracks just as the train is coming into view. As I am sitting on the train, I get a text message from the phone that I left behind. It simply says, "Remember we love you. Mom and Dad." I can feel the smile that crosses my face.

When I get back to the apartment, it is early afternoon, and Tris has still not gotten back home. I decide to get something cooking for dinner before she gets back. I have the ingredients all together for some stew and am sitting on the couch, when she walks through the door. She walks in and slips in beside me on the couch, curling into my side.

"How was your day?" I ask, as I pull her in tighter.

"Good, I guess." She shrugs. "We got our dresses."

"Good, you guess?" I ask. "Come on, you have to have had a little bit of fun."

"I admit, I did have some fun. But I think it was Christina and Lena that enjoyed it the most of any of us. I am pretty sure there is not a dress in the entire faction that was not tried on by one of us. I had to try at least 20 myself."

"But you found one that you like?"

"I sure did... it is perfect."

"Where is it?"

"Christina took it home with her. She was afraid that you would see it and ruin the surprise. So what have you been up to today?"

"Oh, not much." I say, hoping she does not see through my lie. "I have some stew cooking on the stove, but it won't be ready for a few more hours. What do you want to do until dinner time?" I ask.

"Hmm..." She ponders this. "You know what I really want to do?" She stands. "I think, I want to do something that I have been thinking about for quite some time now." She takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. "Something that I really don't think I can stand waiting another moment to do." She pulls me to the bed, pushes me to sit, and steps between my legs and pulls in as close as she can. "I really... would like... to..." She pauses, her mouth just millimeters away from mine. "... take a nap." She laughs before kissing me, pushing me back to lay on the bed, and climbing over me to lie down on her side of the bed.

"You, my love, are a tease." I laugh.

"Yep, but you know you love me."

"That, I do, Tris." I give her a kiss, before she cuddles into my side and we both fall fast alseep.


	68. Wedding Bells

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I apologize that it has taken me this long to update but I have been really busy, and honestly, rather uninspired. I have tried to figure out what to write next and nothing is coming to me. So I am thinking we are going to have a few short time lapses to get to a point where I have something planned. On with the story.

If you want to see what I had in mind for the wedding dress, look here. black-lace-wedding-dresses/white-wedding-dress-with-black-lace/ . This is the closest I could find to what I was envisioning.

Tris

I wake up early and roll over to face Tobias but instead... I see Christina. Then I remember... today is our wedding day and he stayed with Zeke and Uriah last night. Christina pretty much insisted that we did not see each other until the wedding, which honestly, didn't matter to me. I have never been much for superstition, but I gave in anyway. So, instead of waking up to T.J., I wake up to see all my bridesmaids scattered throughout the apartment.

I quietly slip out of bed, run a hot bath, and slip into the tub, relishing in the last moments of peace I will have. I know as soon as they all wake up, it will be a day full of primping and prepping, and overly excited girly squeals. I take my time, soaking in the heat of the water, while I mentally prepare for the day. I know that it will all be worth it, because at the end of the day, Tobias will be my husband. I am thrilled beyond belief but still a little surprised that today, on my 17th birthday, I am getting married to the love of my life. If someone had told me a year ago that this would be happening, I would have laughed in their face. But, oh how things can change in 12 short months.

I went from just being a "little girl" from Abnegation who was always out of place, to a faction leader who is certain of where I belong. I went from someone who never felt quite good enough, to someone who had proven herself time and time again to be a valuable asset to her faction. I went from someone who felt isolated, to someone with a group of friends that were more like family. I have grown so much in the time that I have been here, and can only see my future getting brighter from here.

I grab my phone and decide to listen to some music and browse the newspapers for a bit. I am looking over the mundane articles that are pretty much unchanging from day to day, when I come across something rather unexpected... in a great way. Right there, in black and white, I see the latest bit of news from Abnegation.

Marcus... is no longer a leader. Apparently, over the last few months, information has come out showing years of corruption at his hands. Years of his abuse of power, abuse of faction resources, abuse of the other members of leadership... and abuse of his own family. It is all out in the open now, and thankfully, he is no longer in a position of authority anymore. I know that I need to talk to Tobias about this, but not today. Today is not the day to discuss Marcus Eaton. We have much better things to do today.

When I finally get out of the bathtub, I can tell that everyone else is already up. I hear Christina rushing around the apartment, already it seems, getting started on preparations for the day. It is 7 am, and the wedding is at 5 pm, which means for the next 10 hours, I will be in Christina's hands. I am confident that it will be worth it in the end, but I can't help but dread the process that it will take to get me "wedding ready".

I step out of the bathroom, and am surprised by what I see. Instead of seeing my bridesmaids getting started on getting ready, I see all of my friends... and Tobias. As soon as I am out the door, they all yell "Surprise" and "Happy Birthday". I am so shocked that, for a moment, I am at a complete loss for words. Tobias walks over to me and pulls me into his arms and gives me a long, soft kiss.

"Happy Birthday, Honey." He grins. "Surprised?"

"Clearly!" I laugh. "How did you guys manage to pull this off?"

"It's not like it was hard, Tris" Christina says, pulling me away from T.J. to give me a hug. "You have been a bit preoccupied."

"You didn't need to do this." I say.

"OK everyone." Zeke shouts. "Let's go. Tris said we don't have to celebrate her birthday, so lets pack this up. Oh, wait... since when do we do things because we have to. Of course we are going to celebrate your birthday. We love you Tris."

"But, Christina, I though you said I was not allowed to see Four until the wedding?"

"Oh, that? I couldn't care less about that. I just wanted to have some girl time last night... plus it was easier to surprise you this way."

"Well, it certainly worked. Thank you all so much."

"OK, so we have about two hours and then you guys are out of here so we can get ready." Christina says, looking at the Tobias and the rest of the guys.

We all have breakfast together, then they all give me birthday presents. This is all so amazing. I know, without a doubt, that I will remember this for the rest of my life. Not only is this my first birthday in Dauntless and my wedding day, but my friends have made me feel so important, so special, so amazing, that not much will ever top this day. It is just a few minutes after 9 when Christina starts ushering the guys out of the apartment so that we can start getting prepared for the main event.

"See you at the end of the aisle." Tobias says, giving me a gentle kiss.

"I can't wait." I say pulling him into my arms for another, longer, kiss.

"Alright, you two." Christina says, pulling us apart. "You will see each other in less than nine hours. Zeke, would you please get him out of here so I can start working my magic."

"Of course, sweetie." He replies, giving her a gentle kiss. "I think I am going to take a nap anyway."

"A nap? When do you guys plan to start getting ready?" She asks, seeming a bit flustered.

"Really how much is there for us to do? Put on clothes, look devastatingly handsome, get to the ceremony. That will take us no time at all." Zeke laughs.

"Well, you better not be late!" She scolds, while pushing him out the door.

"Now let's get started." She says, all too eagerly.

"How about I go take a nap too?" I joke.

"Nope! No time for that. We have got a schedule to follow. First manicures, then pedicures, then an lunch, then you can take a little break while we get our hair and makeup done, then your hair, then your makeup, then we all get dressed, and that should be just in time to meet up with the photographer, then it's wedding time, then a few more pictures, then your reception, and THEN... you can rest if you want to. Though I doubt you will be getting much rest at that point either." She says wiggling her eyebrows.

"Christina!" I say, exasperated. Yes this is something that she and I have discussed before, but I am not comfortable taking about it with so many people around. Especially when one of those people is Tobias' sister, even though Christina still does not know that information.

"Oh, don't get yourself in a tizzy, Tris. It's not like it is going to surprise anyone that you are planning to have sex on your wedding night." She sighs.

"That doesn't mean I want to talk about it... around everyone."

"OK, OK... I give... for now." She laughs. "Now, go get comfortable so we can get started on your nails."

We spend the next two hours getting our nails done. We have a few minutes to relax before our lunch is delivered. While we are eating, there is a knock at the door. I stand to get it, but Christina insists that it is for her. She rushes to the door and, after just a minute or two she returns with a dress bag in her arms.

"What was that?" I ask. "I thought all the dresses were already here."

"Just a little something for later. Don't worry about it. I will explain later." She hangs the bag in the closet with all of our dresses.

"But what is it for?"

"Just trust me please." She groans. I decide to give in and return to my lunch.

We finish our lunch and the other girls get started on their hair and makeup, while I relax on the couch. The next thing I know, they are waking me up to get started on my hair and makeup.

When we are finished, my bridesmaids all put on their dresses and come back out to the living room. They look amazing. They all picked out their own dresses, so they are all slightly different, but they are all black and lace covered and look great together. Then Christina and Lena each go and grab a dress bag from the closet and bring them over to me.

"Your turn, Tris. Time to get dressed." Christina grins.

"But why are there two?" I ask.

"So, I have a bit of a surprise for you. I know that you already picked out a dress, but I have something special for you. I have a second dress, that I am really hoping you will love. Now if you see the new dress, and still want to wear the first one, that is up to you. But I really think you will love this one." She says, while hugging the dress bag to her chest tightly.

"OK." I say. "Can I see it?"

"I have a better idea. I was thinking that you could close your eyes, and I will help you get dressed. That way, when you first see the dress, you will already be wearing it. Please?"

"Alright, Chrissy." I smile. Not only do I trust her fashion sense more than my own, but I figure what can it hurt. Worst case scenario, I change into my other dress.

I step into the center of the living room, and get myself ready to put on my dress. As soon as I am ready to get the dress on, I close my eyes and Christina brings the new dress over. I step in into the dress, she pulls it up, zips it, and turns me around to face her. She gasps slightly and I open my eyes to look at her, avoiding looking down at my dress, and see that she is both smiling and crying.

I take a deep breath, working up the nerve to look at my reflection in the mirror that is behind me. I slowly turn around, closing my eyes again, and face the mirror. Silently I count to three before I finally get the courage to look at myself. When I open my eyes, I find that I am completely unable to form any words. I am stunned into silence, and am finding it hard to keep my own tears at bay. This dress is the most beautiful thing I have ever seem. I liked the dress that we picked out when we went shopping a few months ago, but this is far beyond what I could have ever imagined.

It is strapless and fits me like a glove to midway down my thighs, where it flares out dramatically to the floor. The shape and the fit in itself is stunning, but that is not the best part. The colors are what both surprises and astounds me... black and grey. The dress is grey and is completely covered with a beautiful, black floral lace. It couldn't possibly be better suited for me, beautifully representing not only my past in Abnegation, but also present and future here in Dauntless.

"Christina... How did you...? Why did you...? Where did you...? This is just... " I stammer.

"So you like it?" She asks.

"It couldn't possibly be more perfect." I sigh, running my hands over the dress. "But, I still don't understand. Where did it come from. I am pretty sure we looked at every dress in the entire faction, and this was not one of them."

"You are right, this dress is... special."

"I can tell that it is special, but where did it come from?"

"That... well that is something that you are going to have to wait to find out." She grins.

"But... why?" I am so confused.

"Just trust me, there is something special about the dress, but I can't tell you about it until later. For now, we need to get going. We have to meet with the photographer in 20 minutes for pictures and then the big event an hour after that. So, we better get going."

"OK, I give... but you will explain later?" I concede.

"All will be revealed in due time, my friend... just be patient."

We all head out and go straight to the ceremony site to get our pre-wedding photos done. The ceremony site is breathtaking. It turned out even better that I could have imagined. We decided to keep the decorations fairly simple, but it is stunning. The entire room is filled with dark red roses, which is not only gorgeous, but smells incredible.

We spend the next 45 minutes or so taking pictures which, I have to admit, was kind of fun. At about 4:30, Christina whisks us all out of the room so that no one will see us before it is time to walk down the aisle. She takes me into a little room nearby where we sit and wait for the ceremony to begin.

A few moments later, I hear the door open, and turn to see who it is. I gasp out loud, when I see who entered. I can't believe my own two eyes, when I see... standing in front of me... it my parents.

"Momma? Daddy? You're here? How is this even possible?" I begin to cry.

"We would not have missed this for the world, sweetheart." My mom says, wrapping me in a tight hug.

"Beatrice..." My dad says softly. "I am so happy for you." I leave my mom's embrace and fall into my dad's arms.

"But, how did you even know about this?" I ask.

"T... Four came to see us a few months ago. He came to let us know about the wedding and he asked us to come. Is it OK? Us being here today? Are you OK with it?" My mom asks.

"I can't imaging anything making me happier."

"Well, you look beautiful." My dad smiles.

"Yes, sweetheart, you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen." My mom gushes. "And your dress... well it turned out so much better than I could have ever imagined." I give her a confused look.

"So..." Christina starts. "Remember what I said earlier about there being something special about your dress. Well now is the time for you to find out what that is."

"OK?" I say.

"Your dress was custom made just for you, sweetheart. No one else has a dress like this. After we found out about the wedding, we have been in touch with Four and I asked him to help me with a little idea I had. He got Christina here to help and your dress is the result."

"Mom, it is the most beautiful dress I could have ever imagined."

"You haven't even heard the best part yet. The fabric for your dress... well the grey part... it came from... it was made... from my wedding dress." My mom says quietly.

"Your dress?" I say, starting to cry again. "This is... I mean... I can't believe... I... I just don't even know what to say right now."

"You don't have to say anything, sweetheart. I understand, without you saying it." She says, pulling me into her arms.

My dad walks over, pulls me into his arms, and I curl into his chest. I have always known that my dad loves me, but he has never been one to show much affection... especially in public. I stay that way for a few moments before I pull back and he kisses me on the forehead.

"I must have made made a mess of myself. Christina, is there anyway you can fix my makeup?"

"I have got you covered." Christina says, pulling out a bag and setting out the makeup. "I was ready for this. I know you well enough to expect this."

She gets started and has my makeup and hair touched up in no time at all. Just as she is packing up the last of the supplies, we hear a knock at the door. My dad walks over and opens it, and Zeke steps inside.

"You all look... fantastic! Especially you" Zeke exclaims, pulling Christina into his arms and gives her a kiss. "They are all ready for you T." Zeke gives me a tight hug, lifting me from my feet and spinning me around until I am laughing uncontrollably.

"Ezekiel Pedrad, put her down before you make her throw up all over her dress." Christina scolds.

"You guys always say that, and I have NEVER made her throw up... yet." He laughs, and puts me down, planting a playful kiss on the tip of my nose.

We all walk out of the room and get lined up at the doors to the ceremony room. Lena and Will enter together, followed by Shauna and Max, then Lynn and Jake, then Uriah and Marlene. Zeke and Christina walk in last, leaving me alone with my parents.

"I love you, sweetheart." My mom says before she heads inside and takes a seat.

"Are you ready Tris?" My dad asks.

"I have never been more ready for anything in my entire life." I say with a smile.

He turns to the door, and I take his arm just as the doors open. We step across the threshold and I take a deep breath, as I see the love of my life waiting for me at the other end of the aisle .


	69. Husband and Wife

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I really hope I don't go too cheesy here, but I have never actually written wedding vows. I didn't, however, want to go with standard vows either. So, let's just see what I come up with.

Tobias

I am standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for the moment that the doors will open, and I will see Tris walking towards me. I never imagined that I would be so nervous, but as I stand here, all I can think about is her reaction to our big surprise for today. I know that she must be thrilled at this moment, spending time with her parents... having their blessing on our marriage. Even though it is far from traditional, and even a frowned upon to have family from another faction come to a wedding, I really couldn't care less. They are important to her... important to both of us, and I could not imagine this day without at least trying to include them.

I know it can't be more than a few minutes, but it seems like hours, that I am standing here waiting for her. When at last, the doors open, and I see Natalie walking in. You can tell that she was once Dauntless herself, as she seems to fit right in here, dressed in a knee length black dress... no doubt provided by Christina. You can even see a bit of her tattoo showing, a far cry from the head to toe grey that she is normally swathed in. She walks in, with confidence, and heads straight to me. She pulls me into her arms and hugs me tightly.

"Tobias, I just have to tell you how much I love you, and how happy I am for you both. I could not have picked anyone better for my little girl if I tried." She gushes.

"Thank you. And I love you too... mom."

"I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear you call me that."

"And I can't tell you how much it means to call you that."

"Are you ready?" She asks.

"I have never been more ready for anything in my entire life." I say with a smile.

At that she kisses my cheek, then turns and takes her seat in the front row, and I face the doors, just as the processional music begins to play. The doors open again and our friends file in together and take their places. Zeke and Christina are the last to enter and Zeke stands next to me, clapping a hand on my shoulder roughly. I look at his broad smile and nod, knowing what he is thinking without a single word. He is happy for me. I look briefly around the room and it is almost shocking how many people are here for us... how many people care about us and our lives together.

I look down the aisle again, and see that the doors have been closed again. Just as the music hits it's climactic moment, they again open and I have to take a breath to steady myself. I must have gasped, or had some sort of look on my face, because I hear Zeke quietly chuckling beside me before he whispers, "You going to make it, buddy?" I simply nod in reply, unable to tear my eyes off of Tris as her father escorts her down the aisle.

She looks simply stunning. I never thought that she could look any more beautiful that she normally does. Of course I think she is the most beautiful creature to grace this earth, even when she is fresh out of bed in the morning, with her hear all askew and not a speck of makeup on her face. She seems to be glowing as she walks down the aisle. Her eyes lock with mine and her smile widens, as I am sure mine does as well.

They reach the end of the aisle and Andrew reaches out to shake my hand. I take his hand firmly in mind and, to my surprise, he pulls me in towards him, and gives me a quick hug. He then places Tris' hand into mine, kisses her on the cheek, and takes his seat next to Natalie. I look at my beautiful bride and have to fight the urge to kiss her right then. I take her by the hand, together we turn to face Hana, who is performing our ceremony, and she begins.

"Tris and Four would like me to thank each and every one of you for joining them today to celebrate their marriage. I know how much it means to you to have the support of their faction... and family, on such an important day of their lives. When I asked them what they would like me to say today, they said that they really didn't care what I said as long as it ended with them becoming husband and wife. So I would like to share a poem with you. This is the same poem that was read at my wedding, and I hope that it means as much to the two of you as it did to us.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) - E.E Cummings

My hope for the two of you, is this. I wish you all the joy and happiness that life can bring. I wish for you to celebrate with each other in the happiest of times, to laugh with each other in the joyous times, to strengthen each other in the toughest of times, to comfort each other in the saddest of times, but most of all, to love each other in ALL times. Now Tris and Four would like to share with each other, and you all, words that they have written for each other."

"Tobias" Tris leans in and whispers, so that only I can hear, then gives me a wink before continuing for everyone else to hear. "Today is the happiest day of my life. I can't imagine my life without you, and I am glad that I don't have to. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have made me stronger, bolder, more confident, and happier than I ever thought possible. You inspire me everyday to be a better person. Your love is the best gift I could have ever hoped to receive and I plan to spend every day of the rest of my life giving you my love, in return. I love you, and I can't wait to start our new lives together." She smiles at me so warmly that I am almost unable to continue on, to need to kiss her is so great at this moment. I take a deep breath before I begin.

"Tris, to say that I can't imagine my life without you is an understatement. Without you, I doubt I would even be alive. Your friendship, your support, and your love has gotten me through the hardest times of my life. Without you, I would never be where I am today. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. The love that you have shown me has made me realize my worth in this world and has made me discover things within myself that I would never have dreamed were possible. You are my world, Tris, and I am going to spend the rest of my life showing you all the love I can give. I love you, and I can't wait to start our new lives together."

"Tris and Four" Hana, begins "You have come here today in celebration of your love for one another. And from that love, you are beginning your lives together in marriage. Tris, do you take Four as you lawfully wedded Husband?"

"I do." She says with a smile.

"And Four, do you take Tris as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"To commemorate this union, you may now exchange rings. The circle formed by each ring symbolizes your eternal love and commitment to one another. Let these rings remind you always of that love, and of the promises you have made here on this day." Zeke hands me Tris's ring and I place it on her finger.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed." I say. Tris takes my ring from Christina and places it on my finger.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. With this ring, I thee wed." She repeats.

"I now pronounce you... husband and wife." Hana nearly shouts. "OK, Four, I know you have been wanting to do this for a while now... you may kiss your wife!"

I waste no time at all, pulling her into my arms and kissing her. In this moment, I nearly forget that we are in a room filled with people. It is just the two of us sharing our first kiss as husband and wife. I barely hear Hana announce us before I am taking Tris by the hand, leading her down the aisle. Once we are out the doors, and in back in the room Tris was in before the ceremony, I take her into my arms again and kiss her until we are both out of air. We don't have much time alone though, as the rest of the bridal party joins us and we take a few photos before the reception is to begin.

When we get the the reception space, the party is already in full swing. We sit down to our dinner and are treated to the most delicious meal I have had in a long time. Christina told me that Max had offered to plan the dinner, but I never expected it to be quite this lavish. We have a choice between steak, chicken, or fish with any number of side dishes and a full desert bar. Then there is the cake, sitting on display at the side of the room. We had expected the typical Dauntless cake, but even this was stepped up a notch, and is a 5 tier masterpiece.

When it's time to cut the cake, we look and there isn't a knife on hand to cut it. Then suddenly I catch a glimpse of silver out of the corner of my eye before a throwing knife is suddenly embedded in the wall just to the left of the cake. I turn to see Zeke laughing his head off as he and Christina join us near the cake table. I simply pull the knife from the wall and we get our slice of cake. We each take a large piece in our hands and get ready to feed each other a bite.

Christina and Zeke have both been bugging us to smash the cake in each other's faces, and even though we initially protested the idea, they convinced us that it was Dauntless tradition. We each take our cake and face each other, with all our closest friends standing closely by. On the count of three, we step forward, bringing the cake in our hands up towards the other's face, then redirect the force over the other's shoulder and right into the faces of none other than Zeke and Christina. Christina simply stands there shocked, where as Zeke springs immediately into action and we are both running off at a sprint.

Tris

The look on Christina's face, after I smashed my cake in her face, is priceless. She stands there, wordlessly for a few seconds before she starts laughing. She grabs a handful of napkins and begins wiping the mound of chocolate cake and frosting off of her face.

"I'm surprised at you. How could you do that to be Tris. Of all people to pull a stunt like that, I would not expect my little Trissy." She laughs, and I simply roll my eyes. She takes this as encouragement to continue on. "What will people think of this. Attacking a pregnant woman like that. Shameful. To imagine you... Beatrice Alessandra... wait a minute." She says with wide eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"Your last name!" She nearly shouts.

"What about my last name?" I say, knowing where she is going with this.

"Well, what is it?"

"You don't know my last name, Christina?" I say, trying to keep from laughing.

"Obviously I knew it before, but since Four would never let anyone know what his last name is... or real first name for that matter... I don't know anymore. So will you tell me please? What in the world is your last name?!" She spits out in one breath.

"Prior." I say, simply.

"So you two aren't going to have the same last name?"

"We will... or, I mean we do. OK, so you clearly know, by now, that Four is not overly attached to his given name."

"I think that is pretty easy to tell since what, two people in the whole faction actually know his name?"

"I think... 4... yeah, I think there are 4 people that know. Well, anyway, we were talking about it one night and I was saying that I was thinking it would be strange to not have the last name of Prior anymore. I know it is kind of silly, but it made me a little bit sad to think about giving up my name. I tired not to make a big deal about it but Four could see that it was a bit of an issue for me. But I was willing to give that up, because it was more important to me to have the same last name when we were married. I know that lots of couples here don't have the same name, but I really wanted to. So he came up with a different solution. He decided to change his last name instead."

"So he changed his name to Four Prior?" She asks.

"Well technically he does still have his original first name."

"Which is?" She hurriedly asks, possibly trying to get me to slip.

"Something that he may someday tell you... himself." I laugh. "But yes, his last name is now Prior. We filled out the paperwork last week and as of today it is official. He said that he always felt closer to my family than his own, so he would rather have it as a last name anyway. There was never much holding him to the name he inherited from the worthless man that called himself his father." I feel my anger rising on this piece of the conversation and look up to see Christina staring at me, wide eyed. "Crap, forget I said any of that, OK?"

"OK..." She says slowly.

"We should probably go make sure that those too are not killing each other." I laugh.

We look around to find that Zeke and Tobias are still running around the room, laughing like maniacs. I know I can't possibly catch up with them in this dress and these shoes, so I just wait until Zeke is running by and I leap out at him, catching him around the shoulders and swinging myself to, sort of, hang off of his back. He stops and manages to get me back on the floor before he turns to face me and scoops me up in his arms and takes off running again, this time with me in tow, and continues the chase. After a few more minutes, they finally stop running and Zeke puts me back down.

We then hear the announcement that it is time for our first dance. We step out onto the dance floor and, though neither of us is comfortable with so many people watching us dance, enjoy the moment together.

Then I take a moment to dance with my dad and Tobias dances with my mom. I am still shocked to see my father, a man I have never seen in anything but Abnegation grey, wearing all black. For some reason, maybe because I know that she was born here, it seems more normal to see my mom this way. Soon after we finish dancing with them, they announce that they have to head back home. I am sad to see them leave, but they assure me that they will see me soon. We may be in different factions now, but they will always be a part of my... I mean our lives.

The rest of the night is spent laughing, dancing, spending time with our friends... just having a wonderful time. Being Dauntless, this party could go on until well into tomorrow morning, but I don't plan on staying nearly that late. There is one last event planned for this evening that I need to be here for and, after that, the rest of our friends can party on without us. I take a look at the clock and see that it is nearly midnight... the time has arrived. I grab Tobias and get ready for the perfect end to our already perfect wedding day.


	70. Reception Surprises

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Again, sorry for being so long between updates. I am trying to figure out how to write anything for the wedding night/honeymoon. I have to figure out how to add a little spice, but will not go M rated, so no lemons. I guess I will just figure it out as I go.

This is going to be a fairly short chapter, but I wanted to include it, and it didn't seem to flow with the other chapters. I hope you enjoy.

Also, are there any characters that you want to see more of in this story? My main focus will remain on Tris and Tobias with a strong second of Zeke and Christina. But, is there another character (or characters) that you want to see more of?

Christina

Today has been an absolute whirlwind of activity and I am beyond exhausted. I am so thrilled for Tris and Four, and I can't help but think of how much they have changed my life... for the better. If it wasn't for my friendship with Tris, I may never have met some of the most important people to me. And I almost certainly would not be in a relationship with Zeke. It is strange to think about what I would be missing if it was not for all of them... and I am glad that I don't have to find out.

After spending the last couple hours dancing, I am more than ready to sit down and rest for a few minutes. Even now, at 33 weeks pregnant, I normally have plenty of energy, but today I have pushed myself past my max. I pull a chair to the edge of the dance floor and all but collapse onto it. My feet are swollen, my back aches, and I can't wait to climb into bed and sleep for as long as possible. I would love to put my feet up, but I didn't think to grab a second chair, and it is totally not worth standing up again.

I see Zeke walking over to me, grabbing a chair on his way. He sits down facing me, pats his lap, and I all too happily prop my feet up on his lap. He takes my shoes off, and starts massaging my feet.

"If I didn't love you already, I would now." I sigh.  
"Do you want to head home now?" He asks.  
"Not yet. I don't want to leave... I just need to rest for a little bit."  
"Don't push yourself too much, Sweetie. It is OK to slow down a bit."  
"I know, but I really am having a wonderful time. The wedding has been just about perfect."  
"And that's because of you, you know." He smiles. "You planned nearly all of this... and you did a fantastic job too. Look at them." He points to Four and Tris on the dance floor. "Look at how happy they are. You did this for them."  
"Thanks, Zeke." Just then the baby gives me a big kick, making me wince in pain.

"Are you OK?" He asks, clearly concerned. "Do you need anything? Should I go grab Marlene to come check on you?"  
"Relax. I am just fine. The baby is just kicking up a storm right now, just like she always does when she can hear you talking."

"Is that right, baby girl?" He says, leaning closer to my stomach to talk to the baby. "You love to hear me talking don't you, sweet girl." As if on queue, she begins kicking and moving all around.  
"Yes, yes... she LOVES Uncle Zeke. Now will you please stop talking for a minute. You are getting her all riled up and it hurts."  
"You know, Chrissy, I have been thinking." He begins.  
"Oh boy, that means trouble." I laugh.  
"Very funny."  
"OK... so what have you been thinking this time?"  
"I don't think that I want her to call me Uncle Zeke after-all."  
"This again?" I sigh. "We have been over this already. I am not going to let her call you Uncle Awesome, Captain Amazing, The Greatest Uncle Ever... or any of the other insane names you have managed to come up with." I say leaning back in my chair and stretching.  
"Hear me out. I think you might even approve of this one." He says.  
"OK. Let me hear it. What do you want her to call you?" He pauses for a long time before speaking.  
"I want her to call me... Daddy." He says softly.

At that, I sit straight up and pull my feet back down to the floor. At that moment he slides off of his chair, drops down onto one knee, and pulls a black box out of his pocket. I gasp, not entirely sure that this is really happening. I can't move, I can't speak, I can't even think. I am in such shock that I have to force myself to pay attention. This is one of those moments that needs my full attention. This is a moment that I want to remember... want to cherish... for the rest of my life.

"Chris, I have never been that good with words, and we both know that I am far from eloquent. But what I need to say is simple. I love you. I love you so much that I can't even think about living my life without you by my side. I want to spend the rest of my life you you. I want to raise this baby with you. I want to be your husband and her daddy. I don't really know what else to say right now" He laughs. "So, Christina Marie Lawson... will you marry me?"

I am nearly blinded by the tears streaming from my eyes and I can't seem to form a single word... not even the one single word that I want to say the most. I open and close my mouth several times, trying to force myself to speak, but can't utter a sound. Left speechless for the second time in one day, I decide to simply nod instead.

"Is that a yes?" Zeke says with a smile.  
"Yes." I finally manage to croak out.  
"She said yes" He hollers towards the dance floor, and only then do I even notice the crowd of people watching us, with our closest friends at the front. They all begin to cheer, and I fling myself towards him to give him a kiss worthy of this moment. When we break the kiss, he pulls me to my feet and we stand together as many of the people watching come over to congratulate us.  
"I am so incredibly happy right now, Zeke." Hana says, wiping away a tear. "I am thrilled to welcome you to the family Christina." She hugs us both before walking away. One by one, our friends congratulate us, until it is just Tris and Four left.

"Chrissy." Tris grins. "I am so happy for you. Good job, Zeke. I wasn't sure you were going to be able to keep it a secret long enough to pull this off."

"You knew he was going to propose?"  
"I certainly did. Zeke asked us if it was OK with us if he proposed tonight. Obviously we were happy for it to happen this way. This was the perfect way to end the night." Tris beams. "But on that note, I am exhausted and really need to get to bed."

"Sure, Tris... as if you plan to sleep." I tease. At this she turns bright red.  
"Christina!" She frowns.  
"Come on, like it is a secret? We all know what you are going to be doing." I shrug.  
"That doesn't mean we need to talk about it."

"Because we haven't talked about it many times before?" I laugh.

"I know... but that was... we were... I mean..." She stammers before Four interrupts.  
"Enough Christina... lay off... please." He says with a small smile.

"Fine I give... for now. Are you two leaving tonight for your honeymoon or tomorrow? Where are you going anyway?"

"We are going to stay home tonight and heading out tomorrow morning. As to where we are going... we are keeping that to ourselves. Wouldn't want any "surprises" on our honeymoon now would we?"

"Awe, don't you trust us?" Zeke says with a mock pout.

"Oh we trust you, alright." Four starts. "We TRUST that one, or both, of you will come up with some crazy scheme."  
"Well..." I start before exchanging a look with Zeke. "I guess you have a point there. But how can I get in touch with you if we need you?"

"We will have our phones with us... and this time we WILL have our chargers. Now we are going to head out. We love you both."

We exchange hugs and Tris and Four head out the door, hand-in-hand. Zeke and I stay for a little while longer, spending a little more time with our friends, before I have had enough and need to go to bed. We head home and it is all I can do to stay awake long enough to get changed for bed. By the time Zeke climbs into bed, I am only hanging on to consciousness by a thread. He snuggles up next to me and gives me a gentle kiss. I take one last look at my beautiful engagement ring, before drifting off into a peaceful slumber.


	71. Our Honeymoon

Even as I begin writing this, I am still unsure of exactly what or how I am going to do this section. I guess I will just have to go with it and see what happens as I write.

I know, I have been super slow on updates, but I plan on publishing 3 chapters this week to make up for it. Thanks to everyone that has been hanging in there with me. I still have so many things planned.

Special thanks to Faux914 for proof reading the chapter for me, to make sure I did not take it out of a T rating.

Tris  
-

I grip Tobias' hand firmly in mine, as we walk out the door of our reception room, and start making our way back to the apartment. I feel my nervousness increasing with each step we take. I have been looking forward to this night for a long time, but at the same time, I am hesitant.

Logically, I know what to expect, and understand the logistics of sex. I know how things technically work and have even received some tips and pointers from Christina. Even though those were some of the most embarrassing and awkward conversations of my entire life, I am glad that I had her to talk to. My fears stem from something much deeper, something much more inside myself. I guess I fear that I will not be good enough... that I will disappoint him.

T.J. must be sensing, at least partially, what I am thinking and feeling because as we are walking along, he gives my hand a gentle squeeze. I look over at him, and he gives me a small, reassuring, smile. When we reach the apartment door, he asks me to wait for a moment, while he unlocks and opens the door. He then scoops me up into his arms and carries me through the door, setting me down gently on the other side.

I give him a gentle kiss and lock the door behind us, with a shaking hand. He takes my hand gently into his again and turns me to face him. The tenderness in his expression nearly takes my breath away and takes a bit of the edge off of my anxiety, but I still feel myself looking away.

"Tris... honey, look at me." He says softly, taking my chin in his hand. "I know you are nervous, but you don't have to be."  
"I know." I say shyly.  
"If you aren't ready... If you want to wait... what I'm trying to say is that we don't have to do this tonight."  
"That's not it..." I start, not sure what to say. "I want to do this... I really do... it's just that..." I trail off.  
"What is it, honey?" He asks, gently as he cups my face in his hand.  
"I'm just afraid that..."  
"What are you afraid of?"  
"I don't know." I nearly whisper.  
"Now we both know that is not true... just tell me what is on your mind. You have always been honest with me. So please, just tell me."  
"It's just that... well, I'm afraid that... what if..." I take a deep breath. "What if I'm no good at this? What if I disappoint you?"  
"Not possible." He says with a smile.  
"Of course it's possible. What if I'm no good... you know... at... sex."  
"Honey... that is nothing that you need to worry about. There is no way that you could possibly disappoint me. This is new for both of us, you know. We are going to learn this together. I love you."

Nothing more is said as he leans in and gently kisses me. As soon as he ends the kiss, I take him by the hand and lead him straight toward the bed. I reach forward and slowly remove his tie, laying it across the end table, before working on the buttons of his shirt. As soon as he is free of it, he turns me around, slowly and carefully, undoing the zipper of my dress. He glides it down my body, helps me step carefully out of it, and lays it across a chair. Soon, we are totally bare to each other and I find that I am feeling less nervous by the moment. We make our way back to the bed and...

... When I wake up the next morning, I am sore, but not in a bad way. Last night was wonderful. Christina was right, it took a bit of getting used to, but we got the hang of it pretty quickly.

I slip quietly out of bed being careful not to wake Tobias, grab my bathrobe, and head to the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower. I turn the water on, as hot as I can handle and stand, and step in, letting the heat soak into my muscles. I couple minutes later, I hear the bathroom door open, and smile to myself when he slides the curtain open enough to step in. I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and giving him a gentle kiss.

"Good morning." He says, softly.  
"Morning." I sigh, contentedly.  
"How is my lovely wife this morning?"  
"Wife... I think I like the sound of that. I am pretty amazing this morning. How are you, my handsome husband?"  
"Better that I have ever been. Here... let me get your back." He says turning me to face away from him.

It's funny, that in one night, I feel so at ease being completely naked in front of him. He kisses the back of my neck gently and then begins to wash my back. We take out time, washing each others' bodies gently... tenderly... lovingly. Even though this is the first time we have done this, it seems oddly natural. We stay in the shower until the water turns cold, before stepping out and deciding to get ready to leave for our honeymoon.

Once we are dressed and ready we grab our suitcases and, after I checking for our phone chargers at least 3 times, we head out the door. After the issue last time we left, I have made sure that our phones will not be able to die, packing two extra chargers in case of any issues.

Neither of us has been to the cabin that we are staying in, but Max assured us that we would love it here. This little cabin, in a secluded area right at the edge of Dauntless, is apparently where he and his wife go when they need some time away. He decided to share this little secret place with us, as a wedding gift.

We get on the train and only have a few minutes before we reach the spot that Max directed and walk into a little wooded area, about a quarter of a mile north of the train tracks. We are about two hundred yards through the trees and come to the cabin, that I would never have noticed if I had not been directed to it. Behind the cabin is a little deck that overlooks a pond.

The inside is nearly as beautiful as the surrounding area. It is simple, but breathtaking, with a fireplace in the living room and large windows that look out on the pond. One wall of the bedroom almost entirely taken up by a set of french doors that open onto the back porch, giving easy access to the pond.

"Tobias..." I say, amazed. "This is so perfect."  
"I can't believe Max decided to share this little gem with us."  
"I'm not sure I am going to be able to leave after spending a week here."  
"I think we can convince him to let of come back sometimes." T.J. says with a wink.  
"I think it will be nearly impossible to stop us from coming back here." I laugh  
"So, how about you get settled in, and I will fix us some lunch. Max said he would have the fridge stocked for us."

He heads to the kitchen, while I start unpacking our suitcases. I unpack all of our clothes into the dresser, including enough lingerie to fill nearly an entire drawer. Christina insisted that I should bring it all. Once I am done unpacking, I check my phone for any messages from Chris or Zeke and am relieved that there are none. I head to the kitchen to help Tobias with lunch, but when I get there, I see that he is nearly finished.

"I decided to go simple this time." He says, while placing out plates on the table. "Sandwiches and chips OK?"  
"Of course." I reply. "Thank you for making lunch. I will make dinner tonight."

We sit and talk while we eat. It is so nice and relaxing here, with nothing to interrupt us. The only other sounds are that of the trees, and the occasional tweet of a bird. Once we are done eating I get up the clear the table, but T.J. insists that I sit while he cleans up.

"So, what would you like to do now?" He asks with a grin.  
"Well, we could watch a movie." I start, drawing out my words. "We could read a book. We could go swimming..."  
"Yeah..." He says, stepping closer behind me, sweeping my hair over my shoulder, and kissing my neck softly. "We could do any of that... or..." He pulls my chair back from the table and turns me slightly to the side. "Or we could do this..." He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me into the bedroom.  
"Tobias Prior... I like how you think." I say laughing.

He flops me down on the bed and tackles me with a kiss, making me squeal and laugh hysterically. He takes his time... showering me with kisses as we both slowly undress. This will only be our second time, but I find that my nervousness has almost entirely disappeared, and in it's place is a undeniable feeling of desire.

Afterwards, we both fall asleep, tired from the physical exertion. When we wake up, we head out to the pond and spend a few hours swimming, relaxing, and basking in the sunshine. It is around 7 pm when we decide to head inside for dinner, which we eat in front of the fireplace. It is late when we retreat to the bedroom to complete our first full day as husband and wife in the best way possible.

This is how we spend the majority of out week... relaxing, swimming, making love... and most importantly, just being together. It is not all about sex, though that is certainly a highlight of our honeymoon, it's about our time together... just the two of us.

Even though I would not have thought it possible, we learn so much about each other... and even ourselves, during this time. I thought I knew everything that there was to know about Tobias, but with the addition of this level of intimacy added, I learn even more. We learn what we both like, and even what we don't care for. We learn how to work with each other's bodies, in all the best ways possible. Though, I don't regret waiting, I am certainly glad we don't have to wait any longer.

I make a mental note to thank Christina. Even though it was embarrassing at the time, she gave me some great pointers. Speaking of Christina, thankfully nothing happened, and the she only called me once to see how things were going.

Now it is out last day here, and though I will be glad to be home and see our friends again, it is going to be really hard to leave our little sanctuary here. This has been the best week of my life. I will certainly make sure we get to come back here again. We make sure that the house is in pristine condition and we pack up, before heading to bed, so we won't have much to do tomorrow morning then we head home.

We begrudgingly get up the next morning, have breakfast, and take one last swim in the pond. Afterwards, we head to the train tracks and wait for the next train. Once we are back at the Dauntless main compound, we jump off, and head straight to our apartment. We have decided to hide out here until tomorrow morning when we have to head back to work. We watch a movie before lunch and then spend the rest of the day relaxing, before we head off to bed. Tomorrow we have to leave our little honeymoon bubble and get back to reality. We do have a faction to run, after all.


	72. A Dauntless Baby

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Obviously I did not make my goal of three chapters last week, but I wanted to take some time a re-read the story so far. I have been writing this for quite some time not and wanted to remind myself of some things from earlier chapters. I will need to being some things back around that I had forgotten about. Here is another non-Fourtis centered chapter, but I am hoping everyone will enjoy.

I had fun writing this chapter and really liked picking out the baby's name. The first name is just one I like and the last name... well that is pretty much explained in the chapter. Can anyone guess where I got the baby's middle name? Let me know.

Christina  
-

34 Weeks  
Tris and Four got back from their honeymoon yesterday and I am meeting up with Tris for lunch. I am still feeling pretty good, though I seem to be growing larger at an alarming rate. I am not really sure if I have gotten that much bigger, or if it is all in my head... that is until I see Tris.

"Well, you have gotten bigger in the last week, haven't you?" Is the first thing she says to me.  
"Good to see you too Tris." I laugh. "And yes, I think I may have doubled in size in the last week. If I continue at this rate, I'm not sure I will fit through the door, by the time I have her."  
"How are feeling though?" She asks.  
"Actually I feel great. I seem to have unending amounts of energy. I can't seem to stop moving, and I think it might be driving Zeke crazy. He was complaining last night, that every time he gets settled in to relax, I have another project for him to help with. And, I guess he's right. Last night, I could not seem to settle down until we had entirely cleaned out and organized the hall closet."  
"You're nesting." She says.  
"What?"  
"They call it nesting. It's something a lot of pregnant women do. I guess it's like they have to get everything in order before they have their babies. I remember a few years ago, when one of my neighbors in Abnegation was pregnant, my mother and I spent hours working on her house with her. It was so out of the ordinary because, in Abnegation, you never spent time in other people's homes. But she was pregnant with triplets, and she was so big, she could barely even tie her shoes."  
"Hmm... so I am nesting it seems. Does that mean you will come clean my apartment for me?" I say, jokingly.  
"If you need me to. So is Zeke completely moved in to you apartment now?"  
"Yeah, he was basically moved in already, but we got the rest of his stuff from Uriah's apartment a few days ago. The only thing we haven't done is filed the paperwork. So... do you think..."  
"Yes." She chuckles. "I will take care of it for you."  
"So... how was the honeymoon?" I ask.  
"It was wonderful. It was so beautiful and relaxing. I didn't want to leave."  
"And how was 'IT'?"  
"Chris!"  
"Oh come on, you aren't in Abnegation anymore, it is OK to talk about these things here. And you know I am just going to keep at you until you spill."  
"OK, I will tell you a little... but I am not going into detail here. It was... great." She said, blushing lightly.  
"See, I told you you would get the hang of it."  
"Yes, you did. And yes... I did." She laughed. "So now you know... I had sex... and I enjoyed it. Can we please leave it at that?"  
"Yeah, I guess." I chuckle.

We have our lunch and then we both have to head back to work. I have a pretty busy afternoon and , by the time I get back home, I am ready to crash. Zeke and I have a light dinner in front of the TV, but just as I finish eating, I am suddenly overwhelmed by the need to wash the windows. This nesting thing is going to be the death of me.

37 Weeks  
Today, Tris is throwing me a baby shower. I have never actually been to a baby shower before, and even though I am not sure what to expect, I am really excited. As soon as I walk in to Tris' apartment, I am overwhelmed with the amount of work that has been put into it. I'm not sure how she managed to her her hands on so many pink decorations, but the entire room is covered in pink.

"This is beautiful, Tris." I say. "Really this is just too much."  
"After everything that you did for my wedding... I owe you this, and much more."

"You don't owe me anything, I was happy to do it for you."  
"And I am happy to do this for you."  
"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask.  
"What you can do, is to have a seat and relax until everyone gets here and all the fun begins."

I sit on the couch and watch Tris as she buzzes around the apartment, finishing up the last minute details. One by one the guests arrive and, once they are all there, Tris signals that we are ready to begin. We start the party by eating, which makes me happy, because I am starving. Tris has managed to get a variety of all of my favorite food including, of course, a huge Dauntless cake.

After we finish eating, we play a few silly games. and then it is time to open my gifts. I take a look around the room and am taken back by the number of people that have come. Back in Candor I only had 2 or 3 female friends, I am not sure why, but I always got along better the guys than the other girls. But in this room, there is more evidence of the changes that I have had in my life since I arrived in Dauntless. In addition to myself and Tris, there is Lynn, Shauna, Marlene, Lena, Tori, Hana, three of Hana's friends, Sarah and Janie from work and 5 or 6 others that I have gotten to know fairly well since arriving in Dauntless.

I get so many wonderful gifts, I am not sure where I will even keep it all. In addition to clothes, diapers, and toys, I am given a new stroller from everyone at work, a crib from Tris, and the rest of the nursery furniture from Hana that will be delivered tonight. It is astounding to me that, even though she knows that this is not Zeke's baby, Hana is so excited. She keeps going on and on about becoming a grandma, and how much she is going to spoil the baby. I can totally see where her sons get their personalities. I almost can't believe that I am going to be a part of their family.

Once the shower is over, everyone helps load the gifts over to my apartment and pile them in the baby's room. After they all head out I nearly collapse on the couch, finding myself getting exhausted more easily these days.

The next thing I know, Zeke is home and the baby's furniture is being delivered. Tris and Four come over to help put together the furniture, organize the baby's room, and then have dinner. When they head back home, Zeke surprises me by running me a hot bath and giving me a massage before bed. As I curl up next to my wonderful fiance, I can't imagine how I got lucky enough to have a life like this.

40 weeks  
I am an absolute Whale! I remember earlier in my pregnancy when everyone kept telling me how little my belly was, and I couldn't wait until I was showing. Now, all I have to say is, what was I thinking. I can barely see my feet, which is probably OK, since I would also be able to see how gigantic my ankles are.

In addition to feeling like I am ready to burst, I can barely move and I am beyond ready to have this baby. I am irritated at everything and everyone and my temper is shorter than ever. Poor Zeke! It would surprise me if he isn't rethinking his decision to move in with me, let alone marry me. I am having the world worst mood swings, and even though I know that I am being unreasonable at times, I can't seem to keep it in check.

Yesterday, I was so completely out of sorts, that I told Zeke he had to leave the apartment before I killed him. He didn't even do anything wrong really... he was just being his normal goofy self, and it was driving me batty. I could tell he was getting really annoyed with me, so I think he was happy to take off for a while. But in his typical fashion, when he got back home, it was as if nothing had even happened.

My due date is tomorrow, which means I could go into labor at any minute, and I really hope it happens... now. Actually, I have been hoping that I would go into labor everyday for the past two weeks. I went to my midwife appointment this morning, and she said that, though it could happen at any time, she thinks that it may be a few more days still.

Certain that tonight will be the night, I stay up later than usual, just waiting for labor to begin. Finally, at about 2 am, I give up and head to bed. Disappointingly, still nothing by the time I get up in the morning. I wallow around all day, not wanting to even get dressed, let alone leave the apartment. Thankfully I have been off of work on maternity leave since the beginning of this week, so I don't HAVE to go anywhere. This baby needs to get here... and soon!

1 day over due  
So my due date has come and gone and still no baby. It seems that she is in no rush to get here, and it is driving me crazy. I know that this will all be worth it in the end, when I have my beautiful baby girl in my arms... but right now I am so over being pregnant.

2 days over due  
Well another day, and I am still pregnant. I am starting to think that I am never actually going have this baby. I will be pregnant for the rest of my life, like it or not. I actually left the apartment for the first time in the last couple days, but going to dinner and heading straight back home was nearly more than I could take.

3 days overdue  
Well, here I am... still pregnant! I am headed to meet with my midwife, Chelsea, and Marlene to get checked out, and I am hoping that they will tell me I can be induced. As soon as I arrive and get checked in, Marlene takes me into the exam room and checks the baby's heartbeat... nice and strong. When Chelsea comes in, she gives me an exam to check if I am dilated.

When she says I am 1 centimeter dilated, I am excited until she tells me that some women can be 1 centimeter dilated for weeks before they go into labor. I practically beg her to admit me to be induced, but she insists that we need to wait longer. She does not induce patients, unless the baby or mother are in distress, until a week past the due date... at the earliest. And, no, she does not count being large and miserably pregnant as being in distress. If I don't go into labor before then, I am to come back in 5 more days and then we will discuss induction. All I can hope, is that it doesn't have to go that far. This pregnancy thing is getting really old.

4 days overdue  
Today sucks! I am moody, I am uncomfortable, and I am exhausted. I hate everyone and everything. I am mad at Chelsea for being unwilling to induce me. I am mad at Tris for being so tiny and thin. I am mad at Zeke for being so energetic. I am mad at Will for telling me that an elephant is pregnant for nearly to years, because he seemed to think that it would make me feel better. I am mad at my friends that can still go out and have a drink. I am mad at pretty much everyone for being able to move without getting out of breath. In general I am just MAD!

5 days overdue  
I can't deal with people. Poor Zeke has to wait on me hand and foot, because I refuse to get out of bed unless I absolutely have to. He says he doesn't mind and that he likes taking care of me, but it can't be fun for him to deal with a moody whale like me. I seem to be wavering between finding him to be a pain in my butt, and a saint. This pregnancy NEEDS to end!

6 days overdue  
Tris is spending the day with me and we have a mission to figure out some way to start labor. We research and come up with a list of the top 5 ways to bring on labor.

1\. Walking - We walk around Dauntless until my legs can no longer support me, then head back to the apartment.  
2\. Castor oil - Not only does the taste of this make me vomit, but it sends me running to the bathroom nearly instantly. I don't recommend this.  
3\. Spicy food - I probably should have tried this BEFORE the caster oil, because after drinking that, I have no appetite. But, I power through and manage to eat a full bowl of super spicy chili.  
4\. Accupressure - I am not sure if it did any good for starting up labor, but it was a nice relaxing massage.  
5\. Sex - Well I will be trying this once Zeke gets home for the night.

After I have tried everything on the list, I head to bed, feeling no different that when I started the day. Well no different other than still feeling a bit queasy from that stupid castor oil. It is rather disappointing, but I guess I have just two more days until my next appointment with Chelsea, and maybe then I can convince her that it is time to induce.

7 days overdue  
This morning seems no different than the last few days, except I am exhausted from being up half of the night as a result of the stupid castor oil. I guess tomorrow I will have to be extra persuasive and see if they will induce me right then and there.

I decide to go out and have lunch with my friends, run a few errands, and then maybe go see a movie. Zeke and I head to the dining hall and meet up with everyone else. I eat a little but, for the first time since shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I am not actually hungry. I have been queasy and had a bit of stomach pain, from the Castor oil, since last night.

Zeke and Four head to Uriah's apartment with him while I go shopping with Tris and Marlene. I have everything I need for the baby, but I am always in the mood for a little shopping. We have just arrived at the second store, when I have to go running to the bathroom. I am just standing up from vomiting when I am doubled over with abdominal pain. I am so distracted, that it takes me a few moments to notice that Tris and Marlene are right behind me and are talking to me.

"Christina!" Marlene says, trying to get my attention. "Are you OK?"  
"I don't know." I reply, trying to stand more upright.  
"Alright, let's get you sitting down. Can you walk?"  
"I think so." She leads me out of the bathroom, through the store and to a nearby bench just outside.  
"What are you feeling, Chrissy?" Tris says.  
"My stomach really hurts and I am so sick to my stomach." I say.  
"Do you think it is still from the castor oil you drank yesterday?"  
"Maybe, I don't know." I sigh.  
"You took castor oil yesterday?" Marlene asks, and I nod in reply. "How much did you take?"  
"She took about an ounce." Tris replies.  
"That sounds like the right amount. But usually the side effects of castor oil don't last longer than about 6 hours. What time did you take it?"  
"Before lunch."

"I don't think that your pain is from the castor oil. Chris, how often are you feeling the stomach pain? Does it seem to be at regular intervals?"  
"I'm not sure, I know it was really irregular last night. But I guess it has been more regular today... maybe every half hour to 45 minutes."  
"Christina... I think we should head to the infirmary. I don't think you are just having regular stomach pain, I think those are contractions. It seems to me like you are getting ready to have this baby." Marlene says with a grin. As if on queue, I am hit with another wave of pain. Marlene looks at her watch and grins slightly.

We sit for a little while longer, since Marlene wants to get an idea of how far apart my contractions are before we head to the infirmary. Almost exactly 20 minutes later the pain returns, making it clear to me that I am in fact in labor.

I know that I have been impatiently waiting for this moment, but now that it is here, I am incredibly scared. I am excited and nervous in equal measure. Even though I have done everything I could to prepare for her arrival, I feel like I am not ready. But... ready or not... here she comes.

Once the contraction has passed, we get up and start walking towards the infirmary. On the way, Tris calls Four to let him know what is happening, so he can get Zeke to meet us there. We walk rather slowly, as I seem to be moving at a snails pace, but Marlene assures me that we have plenty of time and walking is probably doing some good anyway.

When we arrive, I have a seat, while Tris goes to the desk to check me in. About a minute later, Zeke come bursting through the door, running right past me, and heads to the desk, with Four not far behind him. I can't hear what he says but can see the panic on Zeke's face, as Tris points him to where I am sitting. He quickly rushes over to me and kneels down in front of me.

"Hey, Sweetie." He says, obviously trying to seem calmer than he is. "How are you doing?"  
"I'm fine, Love." I say with a, hopefully, reassuring smile.  
"Are you sure? I mean, why are you out here? Shouldn't they have you back there getting ready? Do you want me to go get someone? Or I can carry you to a room or something."  
"Zeke, relax... We just got here. Tris is getting me checked in. It's OK." I say taking his hand and pulling him up to sit in the chair next to me.  
"But you are in labor. Don't we need to get you back there... like... now?"  
"She is fine." Marlene says. "Her contractions are still about 15 to 20 minutes apart. There is still plenty of time to get her checked in and in a room." Zeke nods, though I am not sure that he is entirely convinced. Tris and Four finish talking to the desk clerk, and head over to us.  
"Since you were preregistered and have all your paperwork in order, you are all set and they should be out to get you in a couple minutes. How are you doing?" She asks.  
"I think I am alright for now. I will let you know when the next contraction hits though."  
"Christina Lawson." A nurse calls out.

We stand and all head back to a room, where they all help me get settled in. Four only stays for a moment before he heads out to get my bags from my apartment. I have been packed and ready for a while now, but of course, I did not have my bags nearby when I actually went into labor. He is back in no time with all of my stuff, and I change into my adorable, custom made, hospital gown. He heads out the the waiting room to wait with Uriah and the rest of our friends, who have just arrived.

By the time Chelsea arrives my contractions are about 12 minutes apart, and though I feel like that is really far apart, Marlene assures me that I am progressing pretty quickly. Chelsea checks me, and tells me that I am 5 centimeters dilated. Another 5 centimeters to go and I can start to push. Zeke still seems to be a nervous wreck, but he is trying to keep as calm as possible, and I think that Tris' presence is helping to keep him.

Two hours later, my contractions are 2 minutes apart and I am dilated to 9 centimeters. Chelsea and Marlene bring in everything that they need for delivery and get ready for the main event. Just after they get everything set-up, I am checked again and am fully dilated and ready to push.

Chelsea tells Zeke and Tris to each hold one of my legs back while I push, and he takes a step back, rather than closer. I look over at Zeke and see the all the color drain from his normally olive skin. He seems a bit unsteady on his feet and I am seriously afraid that he is about to pass out cold. Tris also seems to notice this, gets his attention, and then tells him to "man up and grab a leg". This seems to snap him out of it. He and Tris each take one of my legs and it is time for me to start pushing.

This part is probably the part that I have been the most nervous about. My biggest concern is that I don't really know what to expect. Some women can have their baby in just a couple pushes,while others spend hours pushing before they deliver. While, I am hoping I am on the fast end of things, really there is nothing I can do to control that. Thankfully, 10 minutes and 5 pushes later, my baby girl comes into the world.

The moment she is born, it is as if time stops and everyone else disappears. The only thing that I can focus on it the perfect, beautiful, absolutely amazing baby girl that is placed into my arms. I don't understand how it is possible to instantly fall in love with someone, but that is the only way to describe how I feel about my daughter. I am totally, hopelessly, unimaginably in love.

I convince Zeke to come and hold her, though he says he is afraid she might break. The moment she is tucked into his arms, I see his entire demeanor change. He practically melts, and I can tell that he has fallen in love with her just as much as I have. Chelsea and Marlene check both our vital signs, run some initial tests on the baby, check her weight and measurements, and get us both cleaned up. While they have the baby, Zeke climbs next to me in the and wraps me in his arms.

"Good job Chris." He says, kissing me on the forehead. "I am so proud of you."  
"She is pretty perfect, isn't she?" I beam.  
"Yes she is. She is the most perfect baby in the universe."

Chelsea brings the baby back and places my, 7 pound 8 ounce, 19 and a half inch long bundle of perfection, back into my arms. She excuses herself, telling me that she will come back later to check on us, but tells me that so far everything looks perfect. Tris and Marlene leave to go tell our other friends and Zeke's mom that she is here. Neither of us can seem to tear our eyes off of her.

Once they are given the OK, Tris comes back in with all the rest of our little group. I look at everyone in the room and I am so happy that this group of people are going to be there for my daughter... they are going to be her family. Hana insists, that as the baby's grandma, she gets to hold her first. After she finally consents to let her out of her arms she hands her to Tris. After Tris, she is passed on to Uriah, then Four, then Marlene, then Will, then Lynn, and then Shauna.

"You know what I just realized?" Uriah says.  
"What's that?" I ask.  
"We don't know what the baby's name is."  
"Remember, baby brother." Zeke starts. "I told you a long time ago what I think the perfect name for a little baby girl is?"

"And that would be?" Uriah replies, clearly forgetting the conversation from months ago.  
"Well, Uriah, of course." Zeke laughs, while Uriah scowls.  
"Ezekiel Pedrad, leave your brother alone!" Hana scolds, though she is laughing.

"I am just kidding." Zeke says with an grin. "Anyway I don't even know the name yet."  
"You don't?" Marlene asks.  
"Christina and I talked about names and I decided that I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Are you going to tell us, Christina, or do we have to pry it out of you?" Uriah says with a slight whine to his voice.  
"OK." I say. Her name is... Eve. Eve Trina Pedrad."  
"Pedrad?" Zeke asks, with the biggest smile possible on this face.  
"She and I agreed that she should have her daddy's last name. After all, it won't be too long before it's my last name too."  
"I love you." He says, leaning over to kiss me.  
"And I love you." I reply.

After a little while, everyone but Zeke, Tris and Four, leave. They stay with us for a little while longer, taking turns holding Eve, before they too head home. We get her settled into her bassinet, beside the bed, and we decide to get some much needed sleep.


	73. Reunited

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I have had this scenario in mind for a long time now, and just hope it lives up to what I had planned. As always, I really appreciate your wonderful comments. I will be throwing in some occasional time lapses to progress the story along to some later moments that I have planned. Here we are now, two months after the last chapter.

Tris

It is the middle of July and Tobias and I have been busier than ever. In addition to our normal duties in leadership, we are working on getting ready for this years initiation. Since Max put the two of us in charge of initiation and training, we have decided to rework most of the initiation protocol. We have tons to do before the choosing ceremony at the end of next month. It may be a lot of work, but we are really excited about the changes that we have in store, and thankfully, Max has been in total support of our decisions.

Saturdays in Dauntless are always my favorite day of the week. I am usually able to sleep in as late as I want and have no plans until at least noon. Today, however, I am up bright and early. I am out of bed and dressed by 8 am, rather than my normal Saturday routine of dragging myself up at around 11. Christina is going to be here at about 8:30 am to drop Eve off. Tobias and I are going to be watching her for most of the day, since both Christina and Zeke have to work.

Christina went back to work two weeks ago, when Eve was 6 weeks old, and usually has her in daycare while she works Monday through Friday. But she was asked to cover at the tattoo parlor today and agreed before she found out that Zeke was also covering a shift in the surveillance room. She could have taken the baby to day care today, but I was all too eager to keep her for the day. Even though I am still not ready for a baby, I will take all the practice I can get.

As soon as Christina drops Eve off at the apartment, I realize that I forgot to bring home some paperwork from my office. I need to have the paperwork completed and turned in first thing Monday morning, so I decide to head over and pick it up. Tobias just left to go pick up breakfast from the dining hall. I send him a text to let him know where I am headed, get the baby settled into her stroller, and head out the door. Just as I am starting to unlock my office door, I see a very frantic looking Max come rushing out of his office. As soon as he sees me, he sighs and walks over.

"Tris, I hate to ask you this, since it is your day off but I need a favor."

"I am happy to help if I can, but I have Christina's baby all day today if that makes a difference."

"That won't be a problem. I would take care of it myself but today is my wife's birthday and I promised that I would spend all day with her to celebrate. We are supposed to meet for breakfast in... about 20 minutes and she will kill me if I am late again." He says so fast I am nearly unable to understand him.

"Take a deep breath. What do you need me to do?" I push the stroller into my office and he follows behind.

"It seems that there is a security patch that needs to be installed on our computer system and the tech from Erudite needs to come in today to install it. We had originally planned for them to do it from one of the surveillance room computers, but it seems that it has to be done from one with more administrative privileges. This means that they need to install it while signed in by one of the leadership IDs, since we are the only ones that have enough security. I won't need you to actually do anything while they are here, I just need you to be in the room to log into the computer and wait while they install the patches."

"That's fine Max. I really didn't have much planned for today anyway. I will just have Four bring the baby's diaper bag here and wait for the tech to arrive. When are they supposed to get here anyway?"

"They could be here any time. They said between 9:00 and 9:30."

"Well I have this covered. You better get going before you are late and your wife has your head on a platter."

"Thanks Tris, you are a life saver."

As soon as Max has left I send Tobias a message asking him to grab Eve's diaper bag and meet me at my office. I will just fill him in on what is going on when he gets here, since it is easier than texting him all the details. He responds that he is already back at the apartment and needs to take a shower before he leaves. He will head over in about 20 minutes and will bring the baby's stuff with him.

I take a moment to check on Eve, who is still fast asleep in her stroller, push the stroller over to the corner of the room where she is not likely to be disturbed when the tech is here, and take a seat at my desk. I guess now is a good time to work on the paperwork that I was planning to bring home. About 10 minutes later, I have just finished filling out the paperwork, when I hear a knock at my office door. I quickly cross the room, hoping to avoid another knock that may wake the baby, and open the door. When I see the person standing on the other side, I am so shocked, I am momentarily at a loss for words.

"Caleb." I say, trying to cover my utter surprise.  
"Beatrice?" He replies, seeming as surprised as I feel. It has been about 10 and a half months since I saw him last, and he seems to have changed nearly as much as I have in that time.  
"When they told me a tech from Erudite was coming to work on the computers... well, I never imagined that it would be you." I grinned.  
"I didn't expect to see you either." He said rather gruffly. "In fact, I think this was a mistake."  
"Why do you say that?" I ask, rather annoyed at the fact that he is clearly not as happy to see me as I am to see him. He sighs heavily before continuing.  
"Well, is there someone else planning to meet me here, and you are waiting with me until they arrive?"  
"No... I am the one you are supposed to be meeting. Why do you ask?"  
"I was told that this would be all set up when I got here. We specifically said that we needed to work with someone with Administrative privileges to the computer system." Another sigh. "We were told that when I got here, I would be connected with a member of Dauntless leadership, so that I would be able to get into the system and make the necessary modifications. Now I have to go back home, and explain why I was not able to get this task accomplished. Do they have any idea how much of an inconvenience that this is? I mean..."  
"Caleb!" I interrupt.  
"Don't interrupt me Beatrice. Unless you have some other way for me to get access to the administrator rights on the computer system, I may as well leave right now. This was a total waste of my..."  
"Caleb." I interrupt again. "If you would just shut up for one minute, I could tell you that you have not wasted your time. I am one of the leaders, therefore I can give you the access you need. And by the way, I go by Tris now."  
"You are one of the leaders?" He asks incredulously. "How is that possible? You are only 16."  
"I'm well aware of my age Caleb, which is actually 17, by the way. The other leaders are aware also... as well as everyone in the faction. As far as how this is possible... I have worked hard for my position. I was first in my initiation. Because of that, I was given first choice in job selections and requested a position in leadership. The other leaders agreed that I was the best candidate and I have been trained to be a full member of leadership. I would have liked to have a moment to become reacquainted, but it seems that is not an option, so let's just get to business. I have the computer all set up and logged in for you to begin..." At that moment Eve wakes up and begins to whimper in her stroller. I walk over to her, scoop her into my arms, and she quickly calms down.  
"Beatrice, what is that?" He asks, dumbfounded.  
"Come on, Caleb. You know what a baby is."  
"Of course I know what a baby is. What I am wondering about is who this particular one is."  
"Well, Caleb. I would like you to meet Eve. Eve is..." I say before Eve starts crying, stopping me from finishing. I bounce her a bit and give her the knuckle of my pinkie to suck on, which she eagerly latches onto. As Caleb watches me with the baby, I can see him becoming more and more distressed. I know the reason for this, but decide not to correct him in his thoughts.  
"I cannot believe you Beatrice!" He practically yells, startling both Eve and me. "I know that things are different here in Dauntless... but I thought so much better of you. What would mother and father think if they saw you like this? You are only 16... I mean 17 years old, and here you are with a baby. I am so disappointed in you."  
"You are disappointed in me? What right do you have to be disappointed in me?"  
"I am you big brother Beatrice. It is my job to look out for you."  
"It's Tris... and really? Your job to look out for me? When in our lives did you ever look out for me? Besides, I think I am doing pretty well for myself here. Yes, I am 17 years old, and I am a faction leader. I have done pretty well for myself in the 10 and a half months that I have been here." I pause, trying to decide if I am going to let him know that Eve is not mine, but I decide to let him think whatever he wants. "As far as she is concerned, you have no right to judge any choices that I've made."  
"Choices you've made. I highly doubt you chose to have a baby right after you joined your faction." He scoffed.  
"Well, that is one thing you got right." I nearly laugh. "I did not choose to have a baby at 17 years old. But, you know what, sometimes things happen."  
"I really just thought better of you Beatrice. What did you get pregnant the day you arrived? What about her father? Is he even around."  
"What business is it of your when she was conceived. And to answer your other question, even though I don't owe you any answers, no her biological father is not involved."  
"Do you even know who her father is?" He asks, and this time I don't stifle my laugh.  
"You've got me, Caleb. I don't actually know who the father is. I mean I have a basic idea, but I wouldn't be able to pick him from a lineup."  
"I am just so ashamed of you right now. I was surprised when you decide to transfer here, but I never anticipated that you would ever become a s..."  
"I would be very careful how you decide to finish that sentence." I hear from the doorway. I turn and see that Tobias has arrived, unnoticed until this moment.  
"Excuse me, but I don't think that this is any of your business." Caleb replies, before turning around to see who has arrived. As soon as he sees who is standing there, his tone changes. "Wait, aren't you To..."  
"Yes. That's me." He shrugs. "What exactly are you doing here Caleb. Do you have a valid reason, or are you here simply to insult your sister."  
"I am here on official business. I am here to work on installing some security patches on the network." Caleb replies.  
"Well, don't you think it would be best if you get to it? We all have things to do today... and standing here listening to you bad mouth Tris is not on my agenda for the day." T.J. says, plainly.  
"I really don't see how any of this is your business, Eaton. Why don't you leave and let Tris handle things by herself?"  
"First off, as a leader in this faction, the treatment of a fellow member of leadership is my concern. Second, I will become involved in any situation that I deem necessary where Tris is involved. Yes, she is fully capable of taking care of herself, but it's my job to look out for her."  
"Your job?" Caleb sneers. What... are you two dating now?"  
"Nope. We aren't exactly dating." Tobias says with a devilish grin.  
"Then you really should consider keeping your nose out of family business." I know that I really should step in before this escalates any further, but am enjoying the show too much to stop it.  
"Family business?" Tobias says, his tone losing any of the humor it had and growing more angry by the moment. "Since when is insulting and demeaning your younger sister, considered family business. I am her family... and her faction."  
"Yeah, you are in her faction... but family...how can you say that? You are not family you are just her..." Caleb nearly shout but is interrupted.  
"Husband. I am her husband Caleb." Tobias says through gritted teeth. He has been doing well so far but I can tell that his temper is starting to get the better of him.  
"You two are married? She is only 16 years old! There is no way that she should be married at her age. Not even in this faction for a year before you have a baby and decide that you are old enough to get married." T.J. gives me a look at the baby comment, and I just mouth "go with it". He does not seem to notice the exchange and continues. "Mother and father would be so humiliated if they were to see you in this situation!"  
"First, she is 17! Do you not even know when her birthday is? Second, your mother and father are just fine with this 'situation'." Tobias says, barely hiding the growing rage in his voice.  
"How would you know that?" Caleb asks, sounding smug.  
"I know because I've seen them. I went to see them before we got married. And..." He looks at me for my approval to finish. I nod. "They were at the wedding. Your father walked Tris down the aisle, Caleb. They are happy for us, and I wish I could say the same about you. You should be glad that your sister is happy and thriving in her life. I don't know if you are just jealous, or what the problem is, but you really need to get a grip."  
"I know you are lying. Even if they were allowed to come here, there is no way they would have approved of this."  
"It's true, Caleb." I say. "Just look at the photo on my desk. They came to see us get married, and they ARE happy for us.  
Caleb picks up the framed picture from my desk and looks it over for just a moment before placing it face down. He pauses for a moment, seemingly for the first time in his life, at a loss for words. Then I see it, as if something clicks and he has decided on his next plan of attack.  
"You know she's not yours, right?" Caleb nearly spits out.  
"What?!" Tobias yells in reply. I can see his face begin to flush as his anger increases.  
"The baby... she is not yours... you do know that right?"  
"Of course I know that she's not mine. How dare you! You are really pushing your luck here Caleb. You really should consider shutting your mouth before..." Tobias is shouting before he is interrupted.

In that moment, just as the tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, Eve lets out a shrill cry. It's as if she has decided to put an end to this and I couldn't agree more. I know that once Tobias gets this angry, it is not easy to calm him down... but I know of one surefire method to keep his anger in check. I calmly walk over to him, take the diaper bag from his shoulder, and place Eve in his arms. I know, that no matter how angry he is, he will keep himself under control if he is holding the baby.

"Babe, can you please hold Eve so I can get her bottle ready?"  
"Yes, of course." He replies. Curling her gently into his arms. I can see him calming down nearly instantly.  
"Now..." I say calmly but firmly, as I turn to face Caleb, while preparing the bottle. "I think you should just get started on the work you came here to do. Then you really need to be on your way. And, if this sort of behavior is something that can be expected in the future, I may need to have a conversation with your superiors about sending someone else next time. Do you really think that something like that would be a good step in your career?"  
"You wouldn't..." He starts.  
"Don't test me Caleb. Now, you should probably get to work, otherwise you can leave right now." I finish the bottle and hand it over to T.J., who sits on the couch and begins to feed Eve. Caleb begins to work, quietly, as I join T.J. and Eve on the couch.

It's about 20 minutes later, Caleb is still working, without another word, and Eve is finished with her bottle. I take her to burp and change her diaper when I get a text message. I ask Tobias to check for me and he lets me know that it was Christina letting us know that she is out of work and on her way. He asks her to meet us at my office. 10 minutes later, Caleb stands from my desk, having just completed his work. Before he has a chance to speak, Christina comes bounding through the door, oblivious to the tension that remains in the room.

"Hi!" She exclaims in a sing-song tone.  
"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?" I ask.  
"Well, I did but then we lost power at the Tattoo Parlor. It was going to be at least a few hours until it was fixed, so we closed for the day. Now I'm here to get this little angel." She tells us as she takes the baby from my arms. "Hello my sweet angel. Momma missed you, baby girl." I hear Caleb shift across the room, which also gets Christina's attention. "And you are?"  
"Caleb." He replies, not elaborating any more.  
"Yeah, this is Caleb... from Erudite. Max asked me to meet him here to work on the computer system." I add.  
"Wait... Caleb... from Erudite...Tris... is this... your brother, Caleb?" She pieces together.  
"Yes." I nod.  
"OK." Is all she says, sensing the meaning behind my tone of voice. "Well, I think Miss Eve and I will be headed home now. Thanks for watching her. See you later?"  
"Sure." I reply. She quickly gathers Eve's belongings, places her in the stroller, and heads out the door.  
"So she's not..." Caleb starts but trails off without finishing his sentence.  
"Nope...She's not mine." I shrug.  
"Why didn't you tell me that?" He asks.  
"You asked me about the baby's father...not her mother. Besides, why does it even matter? You had no right to say the things you said to me... to either of us. You have always acted like you were superior to me, Caleb. As a child, I tried so hard to be as good as you were... as selfless as you were... as Abnegation as you were. But, eventually I came to realize, that it didn't matter. I am never going to be like you... and I am perfectly fine with that. I like who I have become. And, if you are never able to accept me for who I am, then that is your problem. This is my life, and I am going to live it the way I see fit. You will not come into MY faction and disrespect me, my husband, or our life. I would like to have you as a part of my life to some degree... but only if you can show me some respect." I say crossing to the door and opening it. "I think it is best that you leave now. I'm sure I will see you again, and I am CERTAIN, that it will be a different experience. Goodbye, Caleb. I'm sure you can see your way out."  
"Bye Bea... I mean Tris." He says nothing else before he walks out of the office. I close the door behind him before walking back and flopping down on the couch.  
"You OK, honey?" T.J. asks, taking my hand into his.  
"Actually... I feel great. I never stood up to him before, and it is like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders."  
"Well, you certainly handled it better than I did. I really wanted to hurt him." He laughed.  
"I know you did, but you did really well calming back down."  
"I just could not stand him saying those things about you. He can think or say anything he wants about me, but you... I could not take that."  
"And that is just one of the million reasons that I love you." I say before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Now, why don't we head home and watch a movie or maybe just take a nap. This has been a long and stressful morning, and I think it would do us both some good."  
"A nap sounds great." He replies, as he stands and pulls me to my feet.

We head back home, climb into bed, and curl up together. Even though the events of this morning were stressful and infuriating at times, I think it was really all for the best. I finally stood up for myself with my brother. It feels amazing to have the weight of a lifetime living under his judgement off of my shoulders.


	74. Initiates

OK, we are heading into the next initiation and to start, I will just tell you that I know some of this has been done in a very similar manner before. I know that the whole, keeping relationship from the new initiates has been done, but I think I am going to follow that path because I think it can potentially add some interesting moments. I am hoping that, though I will have some similarities in the broad strokes of things, you will enjoy my spin on things.

On another not, are there any characters that you want to see more of? Let me know in the comments. On with the story.

Tobias  
-

It is September 2nd, and it is choosing day. The past year has seemed incredibly long and yet it simultaneously seemed to fly by at lightning speed. It seems impossible to think of the fact that, at this time just 12 months ago, my life was so entirely different. I remember how nervous I was watching the choosing ceremony last year, hoping that Tris would choose Dauntless and join me here.

Now one year later, and she is here by my side... as my wife. Not only that, but I went from having one friend here, to having a group of friends that are really more like family. I went from doing a job I just liked, to thriving as a member of leadership and loving having an impact on my faction as a whole. I can only imagine what the next 365 days will bring.

Tris and I both will be attending the choosing ceremony this year, with the rest of the members of leadership. We head out to Amity, leaving a bit earlier than necessary, so we can take a slight detour through the orchards. Once we arrive at the ceremony we spot Tris' parents right away, and though I know she would like nothing better than to run to them, she maintains her composure and we walk casually over.

"Momma, daddy, I have missed you both so much." She says, nearly gushing, but managing to maintain a neutral expression.  
"We have missed you too, sweetheart." Natalie says sweetly. "I have missed you both more than I can even begin to tell you. I know we saw you just last month when you came to visit but, even after a year, it seems strange not to see you every day."  
"I wish I could hug you both right now." Tris sighs.  
"I guess we will have to save that for when we come to see you next." Andrew says with a smile.  
"So are you going to be coming to see us this next time?" I ask.  
"I think that can be accomplished." He replies. "I need to get some use out of my set of Dauntless clothes, now don't I?"

We talk for a few more moments and then all take our seats. After Marcus was removed from his role as the head leader in Abnegation, the job was taken up by none other than Andrew Prior. In the short time since he took over, there have been many wonderful changes in the faction. I think that he feels it is his job to prove that the corruption was all Marcus' doing, and ended with his removal.

I found out about Marcus being kicked out of his job a couple days into our honeymoon, apparently Tris found out the morning of the wedding but didn't want to mention it to me and cloud our day. When she told me about everything that she read about it, a few days later, I know she was worried about my reaction. My actual reaction seemed to surprise us both. I laughed... hard. At one point I was laughing so hard that I was doubled over and could barely breathe.

She told me that they decided to let him stay in Abnegation, but with a significant change in his job. He now is tasked with cleaning up the trash along the outskirts of the faction, which are common areas for the Factionless to wait for handouts. He has always despised the Factionless and hated any forced interaction with them, and now he likely has to deal with them on a near daily basis. Even now, months later, it still makes me laugh to think about it.

As usual, the Dauntless section remains nearly empty until just minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. Once they all do arrive, it is impossible to miss, with everyone noisily making their way to their seats. Everyone takes their seats in their designated sections and prepares for the ceremony to begin.

Joanna Reyes takes her place at the podium and the ceremony begins. The speech is basically identical from year to year, and since I have been present at every choosing ceremony in the last 18 years, with the exception of the two since I transferred, I can practically recite it in my sleep. I am not really paying attention, and I can tell Tris is not either, until it is time for the initiates to start their selections. Tris pulls out a little notepad and takes notes of everyone who selects Dauntless. The selection process is fairly long, since there seems to be a larger number to choose this year than in the past few years.

This year we will have 10 Dauntless born and 12 transfers and I'm thinking that we may pull in Christina and Zeke at times to give us a hand when the four of us are stretched a bit too far. I don't think either of them will have a problem with spending a couple days a week putting some initiates through the ringer with us. As for the transfers, we have 4 from Erudite, 5 from Candor, and 3 from Amity, and none from Abnegation (which is not surprising, since a Abnegation to Dauntless transfer is pretty rare.)

As soon as the ceremony ends the Dauntless section, as always, is quickly emptied as everyone takes off running to jump on the train. Tris and I take a shortcut and end up alone in the first train car.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask, pulling her into my arms.  
"I am actually really excited about training... except for one thing." She replies.  
"And that would be?"  
"The fact that, when we are in front of the initiates, I can't do this whenever I want." She says lacing her hands behind my head, bringing me in for a long, slow kiss.  
"Hmm..." I reply, with a slight laugh. "Maybe it isn't such a good idea to keep our relationship private from the initiates."

"It is. We agreed. I just feel like I want to keep our private lives private from them as much as possible. Plus I don't want anything to make us look softer to them. If they find out, so be it. But I want them to be intimidated, at least at first, and I don't think that it would help that cause for me to keep grabbing you and kissing you like this." She says before kissing me again. "We will have plenty of time for that... every night when we go back home."  
"I plan on holding you to that, my love." I reply.

Once we get to the right spot, we both jump off of the train, landing easily on the roof. Everyone else begins to jump off of the train cars behind us, thankfully everyone landing successfully on the roof this year. I slip away, taking a back stair case to head down to the net to wait for the initiates to start jumping, while Tris stays on the roof with Max.

Tris  
-

Once everyone is off of the train, Max hops up on the edge of the building, calls everyone over, and begins his short speech. I stand with the group of initiates, blending easily into the crowd.

"Gather up everyone. I'm Max, and I am the head leader here. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in. And if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in Dauntless, and might as well make your way to the Factionless sector right now. Other wise... Welcome to Dauntless. Now, who will be our first jumper?" After a few agonizing moments of silence, I step to the front of the group, loudly clear my throat, and look straight at Max. He smiles slightly before speaking. "Go ahead Tris."

I bolt forward and climb onto the ledge. I hear murmurs in the crowd of initiates as I prepare to jump. At the last minute I turn back around to face them and leap backwards off of the ledge and through the hole in the roof. I love the feeling of free falling, that weightless sensation as I fly through the air. I also love that moment that I hit the net, and go bouncing back up from the tension of the ropes.

When I feel the net dip to the side and I start to roll to the edge, I am instantly taken back to a year ago when I climbed off this very same net, and I was finally able to see T.J. again after 2 long years. This time when he helps me off of the net, things are very different. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I give him a quick peck on the lips, knowing that there will not be much time before the first initiate jumps in behind me. I know we agreed to keep things strictly professional around the initiates, but this will not be easy.

Just a few moments later I hear a scream and see a red and yellow blur coming through the roof, into the net, squealing the entire time. Tobias helps her off of the net and she looks around the room, still seemingly in shock from the last few minutes.

"What's your name initiate?" Tobias asks.  
"Alissa." She says, shakily.  
"First jumper, Alis..." He begins.  
"But didn't she..." She interrupts, gesturing toward me. He simply shakes his head slightly.  
"First jumper, Alissa." He finishes, before the crowd that has gathered around the net cheers. She jumps at the commotion.  
"Welcome to Dauntless." I say, with a smile, and direct her to stand aside. Once all of the initiates have jumped, Max jumps in after, and signals Tobias to begin.  
"Listen up! My name is Four and..." He begins before being interrupted by a girl... not surprisingly from Candor.  
"Your name is Four?" She asks.  
"Yes." He says rolling his eyes.  
"What kind of a name is..."  
"Initiate!" I hear, loudly enough to make me jump, despite knowing the source of the voice immediately. The initiate also jumps, quite a lot, and everyone turns to see Christina storming over, with an obvious look of annoyance on her face. She has Eve in her arms and passes her off to Uriah, before getting right in the initiates face. Even though the initiate is almost exactly the same height as Christina, it is clear that she is immediately intimidated.  
"What's your name, Candor?" Christina barks out.  
"Stephanie." She says quietly.  
"Well, Stephanie... the first thing you will learn if you want to survive here... it how to keep your mouth shut! Do you understand me?" Christina says. Stephanie simply nods in reply. At that Christina looks at Tobias, who gives her a slight nod, and then she takes the baby back from Uriah and stands off to the side. It is taking everything in me to not burst out laughing.  
"Anyway, as I was saying, I am Four and I will be one of your trainers along with Tris, Uriah, Lauren who you will meet later. Now, the first thing on our agenda is a tour of the faction. Dauntless born, since I assume you do not need a tour, you do not have to follow. You can get settled into your dorm and do as you wish for now. But we will be having a MANDATORY meeting at 8 p.m. in the transfer training room. You will all be there and you WILL be on time. If you are even one minute late, there will be consequences, and you do not want to know what the consequences are. Dauntless born initiates, you are dismissed. Transfers, follow me." He says in a tone that is intimidating to say the least. Everyone else heads out, leaving Tobias and I alone with the transfer initiates.

As we start along the tour, I fall back and walk towards the back of the group of transfers. As we approach the chasm, I feel a tapping on my arm and look to see a boy from Erudite looking at me.  
"Yeah?" I say not sure why he is trying to get my attention.  
"I thought he said that the Dauntless born initiates didn't have to take the tour?"

"That's right." I reply.  
"So why are you coming with us?"  
"I am not an initiate."

"Oh... too young? You choosing next year? That's OK, I bet they will let you hang out with us sometimes if you really want to." He says, with a slight bit of condescension in his tone. I shake my head and take a second to formulate my reply but he begins talking again, sounding more smug by the moment. "I know that it must be exciting for you to see all the new initiates and wondering what it will be like when it is your turn." Deciding that is enough, I stop in place.

"Hey, Four." I call ahead.  
"What are you doing?" The transfer says sharply. "Are you trying to make him mad?"  
"What?" Tobias says, stopping in his tracks and turning to face me.  
"Do you mind if I take over from here?" I say, grinning.

"What are you doing?" The transfer says under his breath.

"You want to take over the tour?"Tobias asks.  
"Yep!" I say working my way to the front of the group.  
"Go for it!" He says stepping aside.  
"OK, first let me introduce myself. I am Tris... and I am also one of your trainers." I say with a pointed look at the Erudite transfer, who promptly drops his gaze to the floor. "Now let's continue the tour. This is the chasm..."I say, leading them to the iron railing. I still shudder a bit as I think of the moment that clinging to this railing was the only thing that saved me from falling to my death.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy! A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned." I continue walking, hoping no one saw me cringe a bit as I touched the metal bars.  
"This is the pit. This is where pretty much everything in Dauntless happens." I say gesturing to the area around me. "The shops are off that way, the movie theatre and restaurants are that way, but this is the center of it all, and you will learn to love it. There is the dining hall. You will come here for all your meals, at least until training is completed and you have an apartment of your own. Even then, you will probably eat here often, the food is amazing... especially the cake." We continue on towards the training rooms and I show them the two rooms separated for the Dauntless born and Transfers before we head toward the dorms.

"This is the Dauntless born dorm, and here..." I say flinging the door open and switching on the lights. "here is your dorm room. And before you ask, this is for all of you. There are no separate quarters for male and female initiates, so get used to it. Now, are there any questions?" I wait a few seconds before continuing. "Very well. As Four said before, there is a Mandatory meeting in the Transfer training room at 8 sharp, and you WILL regret it if you are even a minute late. Over here we have some clothes that you can wear until you go shopping. Feel free to change your clothes and explore, and we will see you in about an hour and a half."

We walk out of the dorm and can hear the murmuring of the initiates as we leave them behind. We head straight to our offices to gather our files and papers for the meeting. Once we are in the office Tobias gathers me into his arms and kisses me gently.

"Good job there, trainer." He grins. "But what made you want to take over the tour?"  
"Oh, that?" I chuckle. "There was a Erudite transfer that was getting on my nerves. He thought I was just hanging out with the initiates and that I was probably a year away from my own choosing day. He really seemed so cocky and superior, saying that maybe I could hang out with them sometimes, like that would be so exciting for me. I really just wanted to put him in his place."

"And do you think it worked?"  
"Probably, but if not, it will sure happen later."

Once we have finished preparing for the meeting, we head straight to the initiate training room and get it setup for all the initiates to arrive. Uriah and Lauren join us at about 7:30 and the initiates start trickling in soon after, the most notable difference is that everyone is now wearing Dauntless black. At 8 on the dot we begin.  
"Have a seat!" Tobias yells. Everyone scrambles to find a chair and quiets down.

"Now, you already know that I am Four and you have also met Tris, we will be training the Transfers initiates. This is Lauren and Uriah, and they will be training the Dauntless born initiates. We may also have a couple others join us in training as needed and you will meet them later.

Over the next four weeks, you will be trained and tested physically, mentally and emotionally. You will be pushed to your very limits, and then past them. We are soldiers here in Dauntless, and we want to see if you've got what it takes to be Dauntless.

About two years ago, there was a protocol put into place to make cuts after each stage of training, eliminating all but the top ten initiates at the end of stage three. Now..."  
"Cuts? What do you mean cuts?" The Candor girl from earlier speaks up.  
"I mean exactly that." Tobias says curtly. "And if you would stop interrupting, I will continue what I was saying. Interrupt me again, and there will be punishment." At that, she visibly shrinks back into her seat.  
"As I was saying, about two years ago there was a protocol put into place that would cut all but the top ten initiates after stage three. Any initiates that were cut, immediately became Factionless. Now, this decision was a point of contention between training and leadership, and has since been changed. Initiates will not be automatically cut based on ranking. That is not to say that you cannot be cut, it is just not an automatic decision.

There are a number of things that can and will get you cut from the faction. First off, once stage 3 is completed, anyone that is ranked in the lower half of the combined ranking of initiates, will be able to select a job, but will be on a 90 day trial period. After that trial period, you will be evaluated and it will be determined if you have earned your place in Dauntless. This was done with the previous initiation class and one initiate did not prove herself in the faction and is now in the Factionless sector.  
During the three stages of initiation, if we feel that you are simply not working or trying, you will be placed on a type of probationary period, and if you do not prove that you are trying to improve... you may be cut. We are not here to coast through training, so don't think you can sit back and still become a member of this faction. We may enjoy ourselves here, but we take our jobs seriously, and right now training is your job.

On another note, there are some offenses that can and will get you immediately removed from the faction. Last year, we had two instances of an initiate being physically assaulted by other trainees, who they were outranking. This type of behavior WILL NOT be tolerated! We understand that tensions run high, and you may fight on occasion. However if there are any incidents, and it is determined that there was an unprovoked attack on another initiate, there will be severe repercussions. Depending on the severity of the situation, the punishment may be anything from manual labor, limitations in rankings or jobs, up to removal from faction... if not worse. Any questions?" No one speaks a word. "Alright, now Lauren will explain the stages of training."

Lauren proceeds to explain the training schedule. Weeks one and two will be physical, it will be the same and previous years, knives, guns, fighting, and physical fitness. Week three will be spent in simulations. The majority of week four will be spent in job shadows. We decided to add that to the schedule since it worked out so well last year. At end of week four, will be the fear landscapes and then the final rankings and job selections.

Once she is finished, there are a few questions and then the initiates are all released until tomorrow morning. T.J. and I head straight home and go to bed early. Even though I know the next four weeks will be exhausting, I am excited to get started.


	75. Let the Training Begin

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

OK, so I am going to start out with another apology for not updating in such a long time. Truth be told, I just have been completely lacking any motivation or desire to write anything lately, but I am determined to continue to completion... whenever that may occur. I still have a number of things in mind and just need to get to those points. I will really try harder to update regularly, like I was when I started this story. Second, I am making a slight modification to the previous chapter. I know that I had a reason for having such a large initiation class, but now I have no idea why I did that, so I am cutting it down. On with initiation.

Tris

I am awake bright and early, which is quite unusual for me, but I am actually very excited about starting the actual training. But, as excited as I am, I know that the next month is going to be absolutely exhausting for both Tobias and me. In addition to training the initiates, which will take 6 to 8 hours each day, we still have our responsibilities as leaders.

Though some of our daily tasks are being temporarily covered by the other leaders, or are being put on hold until after training is completed. For example, as I am in charge of housing, the only housing requests that are being processed at this time will be for emergent situations. For the duties that cannot be delegated or postponed, we will have to somehow fit them into our schedules. So we are probably going to be working an additional 2 hours a day during the week and about 6 to 8 hours over the weekend to be able to keep up. I know it will be taxing, but I also know that it will be worth it in the end.

We head to our offices at about 5:00 am and spend an hour working, before heading to the transfer training room. We start out with out normal workout routine, that we have continued since my training ended last fall. At about 7:30 we get cleaned up and set up for the initiates. Today, we are starting with demonstrations, so we have the target stations setup with both guns and knives, and we will be doing a few sparring demonstrations. At about 7:45 the Lauren, Uriah Zeke, and Christina, as well as the initiates begin to arrive.

At 8 am sharp, I close the training room door and take a head count of the initiates and am pleased to see that they have all managed to arrive on time. We direct them all to the target stations and prepare to begin out demonstrations.

"OK, to start off, we will begin with demonstrations of the work that you will be doing during the first two weeks of training. The first skill that we will be demonstrating will be the proper handling and firing of a hand gun. Now, Four will review the rules of proper gun handling. Listen carefully because we will not tell you again and there will be consequences if we catch you breaking these rules." I announce.  
"First rule: Always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction, meaning, you need to keep the gun pointed down range at all times. Never have the gun pointed at yourself or anyone in this room.  
Second rule: Always keep your finger off of the trigger until ready to shoot.  
Third Rule: Always keep your gun unloaded until ready to use. You will learn to properly load and unload the guns and are expected to do this independently, without having to be reminded.  
Fourth rule: Always treat the gun as if it is loaded and keep the safety on until ready to fire.  
Now, we will demonstrate the proper loading technique and firing for you."

The four of us take our places at our designated stations, load or guns and prepare to do a little target practice. We each take 5 shots, before placing our guns down, and turn to face the group.

"Now, can anyone tell me if they noticed one of us do anything wrong?" I ask. The group is silent for a few moments before a girl, that I think was from Erudite steps forward.  
"I think you forgot to put the safety on your gun, Tris. And he put his gun down facing the wrong way." She says pointing to Uriah.  
"Very good." I say with a small grin, while we correct our "mistakes". "Now that we have discussed the basics, you will get an advanced demonstration. Four, if you please..."

He nods in my direction and steps to a fresh target. He starts out simply, by shooting the target in the dead center, but then steps it up a bit by completing a circle of holes, evenly spaced, around the outer ring. The finishes his masterpiece by shooting enough additional holes to create the number 4 directly in the center of the target. He places his gun on the table and then turns to address the, incredible silent, group of initiates.

"Any questions?" He asks. No one speaks. " Alright, now we are going to show you the proper technique for knife throwing." As he is saying this my attention is drawn to the Erudite initiate that was driving me crazy yesterday. He is trying to whisper something, unsuccessfully, to the girl next to him.  
"Excuse me!" I holler in his direction, causing his to startle a bit and turn to face me. "You will pay attention, unless you want to be part of the demonstration."  
"Be part of it?" He asks, quietly. "I don't know how to throw yet, how would I be part of the demonstration?"  
"Easy, if you already know enough to not have to pay attention to your trainers, then you won't mind stepping up and standing in front of the target, while we do a little throwing." I say with a shrug.  
"Stand in front of the target... and let someone throw knives at me?" He gulps.  
"Yeah, it's not like it's hard. Oh and you are not allowed to flinch."  
"That's impossible. Your body will naturally flinch when something, especially a knife is flying at you."  
"It most certainly is possible."  
"Have you done it?" He asks, indignantly.  
"Yep, and I would do it again, no problem." I say simply. He does not reply, but I can tell that he doesn't believe me. To prove my point, I look at Tobias, nod slightly and head straight to the target and face the group. T.J. steps up and grabs some knives, takes his stance, and throws his first knife. It lands exactly in the same spot he threw it last time. The next two follow suite, and I know where this is going, before the last knife nicks my ear. I touch the spot, to make sure that they can see the blood, before grabbing the knives and walking back like nothing happened.  
"Now that we have that out of the way, let's continue with the demonstration."

We then did a demonstration of standard throwing process, pointing out the technique as we went along. After that was completed, Tobias asked me to show the advanced throwing demonstration. I take 8 knives and quickly throw the first 7 normally, turning my back and throwing the last one over my shoulder, to complete the T in the center of my target. I look at T.J., who is smiling slightly and mouths "Show off." I chuckle slightly at the expression on the faces of most of the initiates, especially my troublesome Erudite transfer.

Next we have our sparring demonstrations, starting with Christina and Lauren. The match lasts about 5 minutes, and is fairly evenly matched, until Christina misjudges her step, leaving her open for Lauren to sweep out her feet, Christina landing flat on the mat, and Lauren is declared as the winner.

Then Zeke and Tobias step up and begin their fight. For several minutes, they appear the be in a stalemate, easily blocking each other's punches and side-stepping every kick. It is almost comical to me, because even though it would appear that they are both all in on the match, I can totally see that Tobias is holding back.  
"Are you going to fight, or are you going to keep dancing in there?" I taunt, jokingly.  
"Seriously Tris?" Zeke hollers. "You get in here and see if you can do any better."  
"Come on Four. Let's just get this over with." I laugh.  
"You want me to end this now?" Tobias asks, all the while still halfheartedly fighting Zeke.  
"Yeah, I think now would be good." I reply.  
"If you insist."

Almost instantly, I see a change in Tobias' demeanor and he is in fighting mode. It is not long after that, before he has Zeke pinned on the mat and the fight is officially declared complete, with Tobias and the winner. He stands and helps Zeke to his feet before turning to face the initiates.

"Now, in those demonstrations, we were pulling our punches and holding back. When you are in your fights, you will not be. When you fight, you are to go all out in the fights. If we see that you are not giving your all in your fights, it will negatively affect your scores. Now do you have any questions?" He says.  
"Are you not going to give us a demonstration, Tris?" The annoying Erudite transfer, I really should learn his name, says with a tone of voice that really drives me nuts.  
"You want to see me fight?" I ask, with a fake smile.

"I think we would all like to see that." He laughs.

"Alright, if that's what you guys want to see. Uri? You up for a little sparring match?"

"Really Tris?" Uriah asks, hesitantly.  
"You are going to fight him?" The Erudite asks. "That is not a very even match. He's what... 8 inches taller than you, and I'm guessing twice your weight. Even he is hesitating to fight her."  
"What's your name?" Uriah asks.

"It's Franklin." He replies. So Franklin is his name.  
"Well, Franklin..." Uriah begins, getting right in his face. "You will soon learn that looks can be deceiving. You see, Tris and I actually spar regularly and she is quite a formidable opponent. So don't underestimate her just because she is tiny. And yes I was hesitating to fight her, simply because after the last time we fought, I could barely move for about 3 days. So watch closely, because you will certainly want to take a few tips from her." The initiate is standing silently, seemingly avoiding eye contact.  
"You ready, Uriah?" I ask.

"Ready as I'll ever be." He laughs.

We step in the ring and start circling around each other. I finally decide to break out of this pattern and take the first shot, a punch aimed at his left shoulder which he easily blocks. He then tries a kick, which I easily sidestep. This continues for a few minutes , until we are both starting to get a little bored.  
"Hey Tris! Are you going to fight, or are you going to keep dancing in there?" Zeke taunts my question from his match.  
"You want me to take down your brother that badly?" I ask, laughing.  
"I do. I really do." He replies.  
"OK, if you insist."

We then get back into the fight, and it it not long before I have Uriah knocked down on the mat, and have him pinned under my body, and am declared as the winner. I give Uriah a big kiss on the cheek before I hop up and pull Uriah to his feet.  
"Thanks Zeke." Uriah grumbles.  
"What did I do?" Zeke asks, trying to sound innocent.

"You know what you did. You got her all riled up. You knew what that would do."

"OK, you got me there. I just really wanted to see her take you down. We both know it would have happened eventually. I just wanted to speed up the process a bit."

"Hey I beat her as often as she beats me." Uriah says dramatically.

"Sure Uri. And, remind me, what place were you in your initiate group?"

"Second."

"And... she was...?"

"First." Uriah grumbles.

"Enough said." Zeke says as he walks over to me and throws his arm around my shoulders. I can hear several of the initiates laughing and am sure to make eye contact with Franklin, who looks away as soon as our eyes meet. I am pretty sure I will not have many more issues with him after this little display.

"Alright you two..." T.J. says. "I think that covers it for this morning. Dauntless born initiates, head to your training room with Uriah and Lauren and get started with the punching bags. Transfers, pick a punching bag and get started. You all need to work until noon and then you can head to lunch until 1. After lunch, you will continue on the punching bags with punches and kicks until three and then finish up with physical conditioning until you are dismissed. We will come around while you are working, to give pointers and corrections as needed. Pay attention and work hard because, as of this very moment, everything you do counts towards your ranking, and remember... if you think you can just coast through this initiation...you can be cut. Now get to it!"

The dauntless born initiates head out of the room with Lauren and Uriah, and all the transfers head to the punching bags and get started. Tobias and I circulate through the room, assisting the initiates with proper form and technique and correcting any errors that we see. So far, I am happy to see that, everyone seems to be working hard. Most of them are terrible so far, which is to be expected, but at least they seem to putting in the effort.

At about five minutes to 12, I call for the initiates to stop and head to lunch. Tobias and I have decided to join them today, since we will probably be working through lunch most days. Lunch is over all too soon and we all head back to the training room and get started with our afternoon of working with of techniques with the initiates. I think I am seeing some improvements by some of the initiates already.

Tobias  
-

Over the course of the week, we continue to work with the initiates on their shooting, knife throwing, and fighting techniques and have begun to see some initiates stand out in certain areas. We are somewhat surprised that the top performing transfer initiates so far, have been our three Amity transfers... the triplets.

Aside from Abnegation, Amity is not only the most unlikely to transfer to Dauntless, but also not likely to be as successful as these three have been. But they have certainly proven themselves to be more Dauntless than Amity. All three are quite good at everything so far but they each have their own "specialties". So far, Ada seems to be the best of the group when it comes to knife throwing, Analise (Ana) is a natural with a gun, and Aaron is proven himself as a fighter. He has not lost a single fight, except when he started getting a little too cocky and Tris decided to put him in his place and fight him herself. She easily beat him, which not only seemed to knock him down a peg, but made him even more focused in learning the techniques.

We have a few initiates that are not doing as well, and have decided that a few of them may need a little "extra motivation". There are 3 transfers and 2 Dauntless born initiates that do not seem to be putting forth 100% effort in their training, and we are not going to tolerate them slacking off. So we have added a bit of incentive for those that are not making enough of an effort and are therefore lower in the rankings. Those who are not meeting our standards, when rankings are posted at the end of training on Fridays, will be given some form of punishment in hopes that it will encourage them to put in more effort.

At the end of the training on Friday, we gather both groups of initiates together and post their rankings on the boards. They are being ranked separately this week and next week, but will be combined for rankings in stages two and three. The rankings are as follows:

Dauntless born:  
1\. Grant  
2\. Lanie  
3\. Braden  
4\. Claire  
5\. Noah  
6\. Liam

7\. Camilla

8\. Aimee

9\. Leo  
10\. Xander

Transfers:

1\. Aaron  
2\. Ana &amp; Ada  
4\. Spencer  
5\. Tanner

6\. Sienna

7\. Krista

8\. Logan

9\. Sarah

10\. Franklin  
11\. Zoe  
12\. Winston

We explained the decision regarding the punishment for the a couple days ago, but we did not tell them exactly what the punishment would entail. When the names are posted, we hear several sighs of relief, but also groans from those with lower ranks.

"As we explained before, we will not put up with initiates that are not putting forth full effort in their training. Therefore the following initiates step forward... Leo, Xander, Franklin, Zoe, and Winston." Tris announces. The initiates all step forward. "As you know you will have to face the consequences for your lack of focus and effort. The five of you will be spending tomorrow morning with the grounds crew working on cleaning up garbage on the outskirts of the faction. You will be working from 8 am until noon and you WILL put in full effort. You will meet him here in the morning and he will give you direction from there. The crew foreman will report back to us directly and will advise us if any of you are not pulling your weight. If you do not work to his standards, you will receive additional, and harsher punishment. Take this seriously. Any questions?" No one responds. "Very well. Now you are all welcome to take some time to enjoy your first weekend here in Dauntless however you wish. But... remember... you are expected to be back here at 8 am sharp on Monday morning and you will be working hard... hangover or not. You are dismissed."

The initiates quickly scatter and Tris and I head straight to her office. We work for about an hour before heading home. We have a quick dinner and then head to bed, ready to crash after the last week. As much as I am enjoying training the initiates, between the time with them and the time spent performing our other leadership duties, we are exhausted. Tris curls up in my arms and is asleep in record time.


	76. Night Out

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

So I seem to start every chapter lately with an apology for being so slow in posting, and here we are again. I really do have every intention in posting more regularly, but then life gets in the way and before I know it, I have not posted in months. I will try harder.  
So on another note, I have a question for you. After I finish this story, I have another Divergent based story in mind. That one will not be a FourTris story. Because of this, I have a second alternate pairing in mind, but wanted to know if anyone has any other pairings that they would like to see.  
Also, don't be surprised to see updates to the existing chapters show up. I have been reviewing them and the typos and couple of continuity errors are bothering me, so I am going to be fixing them.

Tris

After I finally manage to drag myself out of bed, I have a quick breakfast and then get right to work. T.J. and I work together for a few hours, before he has to head back home, because of a horrible headache. I finish up my work for the past week and even manage to get a jump of some things that I need to get done in the next week, which will hopefully decrease my workload next week. As soon as I decide that I am done working for the day, I go back home and find Tobias is in bed.

"Are you feeling any better, babe?" I ask. He only grunts in reply. "I will take that as a no. I'll be right back."

I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. I grab some medicine, a glass of water, and an ice pack and head back to the bedroom. I pull the curtains all the way closed to make it as dark as possible.

"Do you think you can sit up?" I ask, as I sit next to him on the bed.  
"Mmmhmm."He grumbles and struggles to sit up. I help his sit up and prop some pillows behind his back as he seems to weak to even hold himself up. He takes the pain killers and a small sip of water, then leans over and rests his head on my shoulder. I put the ice pack on his head and he sighs.  
"Does that help?"  
"Yeah." He says in a strained voice. He tries sitting up again and nearly tips over.  
"Dizzy?" I ask.  
"Really dizzy."  
"Do you think you need to go to the infirmary?"  
"No."  
"Are you sure. You can't even hold yourself up, T.J. I think it may be best to see a Dr."  
"I'm fine, Tris. It's just a migraine. I have had them before. I just need to rest and it will go away."  
"OK. But if it gets any worse, we are going to the infirmary, and I will get Zeke and Uriah to carry you there if necessary." I say, emphatically.  
"If you insist, my love." He says with a strained laugh. "But for now, can you just help me lie back down.

My phone beeps and I see that I have a text message from Christina, reminding me about our plans to go out tonight.  
"Shoot." I sigh.  
"What's wrong?" Tobias asks.  
"Nothing important. I forgot that we were planning to go out with everyone tonight. Chris just sent me a text to remind me. I'll just let he know that we won't be able to make it."  
"You should still go."  
"No, I need to stay here and take care of you."  
"I promise you, I will be fine Tris." He says while turning to face me. "You have been working so hard, you need to have a night out. Plus, Christina will have your head if you don't go out on a night that everyone is available AND she has a babysitter."  
"But..." I start, before he interrupts.  
"But nothing. You need to go out and have fun. What time is it?"  
"Just after 2."  
"So just under five hours before we are supposed to meet with them. Maybe I will feel well enough by then. But even if I don't, I still want you to go. OK?"  
"OK." I concede.  
"But for now, how about you lay down with me and take a nap for a little while?"  
"I think that can do that." I laugh. I give him a gentle kiss and then lay down next to him.

I wake up almost two hours later, and see T.J. sleeping peacefully beside me. I slip out of the bed and decide to fix the one food that my mom always made for me when I was sick as a child... homemade chicken noodle soup. I get everything together in a pot and leave it to simmer on the stove while I get in the shower. I check on Tobias and see that he is still sleeping so I grab my laptop, and spend another hour getting some work done on the couch.

At five I decide that it is time to wake up Tobias for dinner. I dish up a bowl of soup and a glass of ice water and carry them to him in bed. T.J. is awake and rolls over when I walk over to the bed, and from the look on his face, I can tell that he still feels terrible.

"Still feeling pretty bad, babe?" I ask, softly.  
"Well, I feel a lot better than I did a few hours ago."  
"I made some soup. Can you sit up?" He sits up as I place the tray with his food on his bedside table. I turn on his lamp and he cringes a bit from the light. "I'm sorry."  
"It's OK, it was just brighter that I was expecting."  
"Well it is quarter after 5 now, so I am guessing that you are not going to be going out tonight." I say, while running my fingers through his hair.  
"Yeah, there is no way I am up to that. Sorry, honey."  
"There is no need to be sorry. I still think I should probably stay home with you."  
"Seriously, Tris, you need to go out. I promise I will be just fine."  
"OK. I give. But, if at any time you need me home, just call me and I will come back."

We sit together for a little bit, before I decide I should get up and get ready. I decided to step it up a bit and dress up tonight, complete with full hair and makeup. I am pretty pleased with the results, though I know Christina probably could have done a better job in less time, but at least I am making an effort and not showing up in jeans and a ponytail. I am wearing a black dress with silver trim that hits just above my knees and a cute pair or strappy silver flats. My hair is down in loose waves, and my makeup is pretty simple, but with dramatic eyeliner and bright red lips.

I check on T.J. one more time and give him a quick kiss goodbye, before I head out for the night. I meet up for dinner with Christina, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, Lynn, Will, Lena, Jake, and a girl named Nikkole that Jake is dating. After dinner we head to the nightclub for some drinks and dancing.

We have been at the club for about an hour when I notice a number of the initiates have arrived. I guess I should have expected to see at least a few of them out, but I am still would have liked a little more time away from them. Oh well, I will just have to hope that none of them does anything that forces me to have to step back into the trainer/leader role tonight. Tonight is about having fun, and I plan to have as much fun as possible.

I am out on the dance floor dancing with Zeke while Christina is dancing with Uriah when Chris gets a phone call and steps outside so she can hear. Apparently this means that I am now going to be dancing with both Pedrad brothers at the same time, which as always with the two of them turns into a competition. And, unfortunately for me, this competition seems to involve how much and how fast they can each spin me around. What is it with them and spinning me? Just when I think I may have hit my limit, Christina returns.

"Well, it looks like I have to head home." She sighs.  
"You can't go now." Uriah whines. "It's not even 9:30 yet."  
"I have to." She shrugs. "That was Hana. It seems that Eve is not feeling well and has been crying non-stop for the last hour."  
"Alright, Sweetie. Let's go get our baby girl and head home." Zeke says, throwing an arm around her shoulders.  
"You should stay." She replies.  
"It's alright, I don't mind leaving with you."  
"Seriously Zeke, you never get out. Besides, we finally got Tris to come out for the night and we can completely abandon her."  
"Are you sure?" He asks.  
"I'm certain. I need to head home with the baby and you need to stay and have fun with Tris."

Zeke walks Christina to the door, while Uriah and I head to the bar. While we are waiting for out drinks, Marlene comes over and drags Uriah back to the dance floor. While I am standing there I feel a hand touch gently on back, expecting it to be Zeke but know that it is not him as soon as he speaks, offering to buy me a drink. I turn to see one of my initiates...my most frustrating initiate... Franklin. He jumps back a bit when he sees my face, as he clearly did not know that it was me that he was walking up to.

"Sorry, Tris. I didn't realize it was you." He says, with a slurred voice. "But I would still like to buy you that drink."  
"I am all set, Franklin." I say, grabbing the drink that the bartender has brought to me.  
"Aww, come on Tris." He says, getting a bit closer, making me cringe from the overwhelming liquor aroma coming from him. "Just let me buy you one little drink."  
"I said I am all set, and from the sound... and smell of it, maybe you should be too."  
"But..." He begins, while placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrug off his hand, and grab him by the wrist, twisting just enough to cause a little pain and get my point across but not cause any actual damage.  
"I really recommend that you back off right now, Franklin. We may not be in training right now, but I am still your trainer... and your leader, and you need to watch yourself." It looks like he is about to speak again, when he shrinks back a bit, looking at someone over my shoulder. Before I get a chance to look to see what he is looking at I hear someone else begin to speak.  
"I am pretty sure I heard Tris tell you to back off." I hear Zeke say as he walks up and throws his arm around my shoulders. "I really recommend that you do as she says, because I really don't feel like trying to stop her from knocking your sorry butt flat on the floor. Although, watching her take you down may be funny, so take... your choice."

I find it impossible to refrain from laughing out loud as he turns on his heels and slinks away. As soon as he has walked away, Zeke also bursts out laughing and gives me a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. He takes the drink from my hand and downs it in one gulp.

"Hey, I was going to drink that." I complain.  
"Yeah, and you would have been sipping on it for an hour before you finally finish it. But I don't want to wait for that. I am getting you back out on the dance floor right now." He laughs, putting the glass on the bar, before taking me by the hand and leading me back to the dance floor.

We spend the rest of the night dancing, mostly together, but also with the rest of our friends. I am a terrible dancer, which Zeke and his poor smashed feet can attest to, but I am having a wonderful time. The only thing that would have made it better, would be if T.J. was here with us.

I am dancing with Zeke and am nearly falling asleep as we sway slowly to the music. I am really tired, but don't want to go home yet, so I decide to go the the bar to get a cup of coffee to help perk me up a bit. I am sitting at a table when I see two of my initiates, Ada and Ana, step up to my table.

"Hey, Tris." Ana says.  
"Hi girls. You having fun?" I ask.  
"Yeah, but we are getting really tired."  
"Do you want to sit down for a bit?"  
"Don't mind?"  
"It's fine. Sit down." I say, with a smile. I really don't mind the two of them sitting with me, as long as my more annoying initiates keep their distance, I am fine. We sit and chat for a few minutes, before I notice a look on Ada's face and notice that she is staring at my hand. I look down and realize that she is looking at my engagement and wedding rings.  
"They are very pretty, Tris." She says quietly.  
"Thanks."  
"But, Tris?" Ana starts and trails off.  
"Yeah?" I ask.  
"Does that mean what I think it does?" She says with a grin.  
"Well, if you think it means that I am married, you would be correct." I laugh.  
"I had no idea... I mean... I have never seen you wear a ring before." Ada says.  
"That is because I take it off for training."  
"So how long have you been married?" Ana asks.  
"We got married at the end of March, so... just over 5 months."  
"But you have never mentioned being married before."  
"I am just a private person and like to keep my business and personal life separated. I don't really mind you two knowing, but I don't really care to have all the initiates know my personal business."  
"Don't worry Tris, we won't make a big deal about it." Ada assures me. Just then, Zeke comes to the table and sits next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulders and kissing me on the cheek.  
"Hey, gorgeous! You about ready to get back out there and show this faction how it's done?" He asks.  
"I am just about done here." I say drinking the last of my coffee.  
"Look at how rude I am." He says, looking and Ana and Ada. "I don't believe we have met?"  
"These are two of my initiates, Ana and Ada. Girls, this is Zeke."  
"Very nice to meet you both." He says with an exaggerated bow. He then stands and pulls me to my feet. "You two have a nice night. I am getting this one back on the dance floor."

He twirls me around once and then leads me back out to dance. We dance until my feet can't take it anymore, and then some, with him basically holding me up during the slow songs. We finally decide to head home at around 3 am, long after our other friends have left for the evening. Zeke insists on walking me home and I can't help but think about the times he walked me back to the initiate dorms. It seems crazy that all that was just a year ago. Our lives have changed completely in that time.  
Once I am inside, I take a quick shower and try to slip quietly into bed without waking up Tobias. As soon as I am settled in, though, he rolls over and pulls me into his arms.

"Sorry to wake you." I say before giving him a peck on the lips.  
"No need to be sorry." He says sleepily. "Did you have a good time?"  
"I had a great time. I don't think I have ever danced that much in my life. My feet are so tired, I almost made Zeke carry me home."  
"He would have too." He chuckles. "Everyone else have a good time?"  
"I think so. Christina had to leave early, but she insisted that Zeke stay to entertain me."  
"Why did she leave?"  
"Hana called her and said that the baby was not feeling well and she could not get her to settle down. Speaking of not feeling well, how are you doing?"  
"I am fine. Still a little twinge of pain but I will be as good as new in the morning."  
"Let's get some sleep." I say, as I curl into his chest. "I am worn out."


	77. Caught While Capturing the Flag

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Here is another chapter and it hasn't even been months since my last post. I am going to try to keep this up.  
_

Tris  
-

It is Monday, and we are back to our regular schedule of physical training. I find it rather humorous that some of the initiates appear to be a bit hung over, as it seems that many of them went out last night as well as Saturday night. But true to our word, we are not taking it any easier on them. If anything we are being a little harder and more critical of them today. If they are going to be staying here, they have to learn this early. In Dauntless, we may play hard, but we work even harder.

It is really quite funny to see how different Franklin is acting today, almost cowering when he sees me. I think I may have finally gotten it through his head, that I am the boss around here, and his attitude is not going to get him anywhere. Let's just hope that this lasts.

We were planning to play capture the flag on Wednesday night, but some of the Dauntless born initiates got wind of this, so we have decided to move it to tonight. As soon as we are done with training for the day, Tobias and I pick up some dinner and head back home to take a nap for a couple hours before we get ready for the night.

We meet up with Uriah and Lauren and get the paintball gear ready and hauled to the train tracks. Once we are all all ready we head back to the dorms to wake the initiates up. At exactly 12:01 am Tris and I burst into the transfer dorm, while Uriah and Lauren do the same with the Dauntless born. Seeing their confused and startled reactions makes me even more thankful that I was warned about this and could be prepared last year.

We get to the train tracks, and wait for the initiates to arrive a few minutes later. After a quick head count to ensure that everyone has arrived, we pass out the paintball guns and get ready to jump on the train. We make sure everyone jumps into the same train car and briefly explain how the game works before dividing into teams, with Tobias and I leading one team and Uriah and Lauren leading the other.

Just like last year, our team consists mostly of the faster and more agile initiates. We got all three off the triplets, Uriah and Lauren had no idea what they were missing out on. We figure, it worked well enough for us last year, so we should stick with it. We are the first to jump off the train, and gather the initiates together for a quick debriefing.

"Alright everybody, I want you all to get together and work on a plan as a group. We will let you discuss for 10 minutes and then we will be back to discuss out with you before it is time for the game to begin. Ana, you take the lead, but EVERYONE needs to contribute."

At that, we walk away to give them some space to discuss without us. We walk around the back of the Ferris wheel and Tobias sits down on a bench, pulling me down onto his lap. He gives me a gentle kiss behind the ear, causing me to sigh contentedly. I turn sideways on his lap, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him. Our kisses quickly intensify until about 5 minutes has passed. We turn when we hear the breaking of a branch, and see Ana turning on her heels to walk away.

"Ana, come here." I say, stifling a laugh. She turns back towards us and walks over, looking much more timid than I would have expected from her, as the most outgoing of the triplets.  
"I guess I should have known that we would eventually be caught." I laugh outright, sliding off of T.J.'s lap. "I just though out would have taken a little longer than a week."  
"Yeah." She says, with a shocked expression still on her face.  
"Why do you look so shocked, Ana? You figured out that I am married, you just didn't know who I am married to."  
"It's just... I just... well... oh, never mind." She stutters. I am totally lost as to why she seems so flustered, and for some reason, I decide too press her on it.  
"Tell me what's on your mind."  
"I just didn't expect that you two were together. When you said that you were married, we just assumed that it was to...well... someone else." She trails off.  
"Someone I particular?" I ask.  
"Well, yeah." She shrugs.  
"Who?"  
"I really don't think I should say." She says, still timidly. I can tell that she is feeling like there is something she should not be saying in front of Tobias, now that she knows that he's my husband.  
"Go ahead."  
" I just thought it would have been the guy from the other night."  
"What guy?"

"Do you really want me to say?" She questions.  
"Yep." I reply, simply.  
"That guy, I can't remember his name. The one you were dancing with all night long. I mean, you seemed so close, so we just figured that he must have been your husband. I mean he kept putting his arms around you and kissing you... well on the cheek I guess."  
"Oh, him." I laugh, turning to see a slightly confused look on Tobias' face, and simple say "Zeke." At that, he too starts laughing.  
"Um, OK?" Ana says, confused.  
"You would have to really know Zeke to understand why that is funny." T.J. says.  
"Zeke is just very... um... touchy-feely, he has been since the day I met him." I say. "He is one of our closest friends and since neither of our significant others was there that night, he seemed to make it his mission to dance with me until I could no longer stand. Four was home not feeling well and Zeke's fiance, Christina who is another of our closest friends, was home with their baby."  
"I see." She says softly. "But Tris?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can I ask you a question? You can tell me to mind my own business if you want."  
"Go for it." I say.  
"I get it that you said you are a private person, but I still don't get why you decided to keep your relationship a secret from the initiates."

"Well, yes like I said, it is partly because I am very private about my personal life and like to keep my work and personal life separate. But there is more to it than that. So when you first saw Four here, what was your first impression of him?"

"Intimidating and strong, I guess." She replies.

"And what about me?"

"I... I don't know."  
"Feel free to tell the truth, I will not take offence. What was the first thing you thought about me?"

"I guess that you were pretty and... well... tiny."

"Exactly. And now that you know me, what do you think?"

"You are fierce, a force to be reckoned with, and you don't take crap from anyone."

"I like that." I laugh. "I have had to work really hard to get to where I am and I was not about to let an incoming group of initiates see me as soft, or less of an authority figure because I am doing all of this with my husband. It would take away a bit of the intimidation factor to see me all lovey-dovey with him. Don't you think?"

"I guess so... maybe."

"So we decided, that at least until you guys knew us and what we are capable of better, that it would just be better this way. Understand?"  
"I think so. So do the Dauntless born initiates know anything, or are they just as in the dark as us?"

"Oh, they know. Most of them were probably at the wedding." T.J. says. "But they know better than to underestimate Tris. They know better than to pull anything and have to meet with her wrath." He finishes, which makes Ana laugh.

"So what were you coming over here for anyway?" I ask her.

"Oh yeah, that. I was coming to tell you that we had a plan."

"Well, it has been about 10 minutes now anyway, so let's see what you guys had in mind, and Ana?"

"Yeah, Tris?"

"For now, all this, is still just between us OK?"

"You bet." She says with a broad smile.

We head back to the rest of our team and they tell us their plan of attack. It is pretty good, but just needs a little bit of tweaking. They have decided to divide up into 4 teams. A team of 2 to hide and protect our flag, a team of 3 to stay in the zone near the flag to take out any of their team that approaches, a team of 5 to attack and distract their team, and finally a final team of 3 to sneak in and capture the flag. It seems like a solid plan and by the time we are done discussing, it is time for the games to begin.

I head with Ana and Ada to go capture the flag, since we are all the smallest and the fastest of our group. We have already scouted out and located the flag, now it is just time to get to it without getting caught. Tobias charges ahead with the attack team and we keep moving forward in the periphery, staying just out of sight.

Just as we get to within a hundred yards of the flag's location, it becomes total chaos... just as we planned. There are paint-balls flying everywhere and we can't tell what team, if any, is winning at this point. The three of us, however, have to remain focused on the task at hand... securing their flag before the other team has a chance to make an attempt at ours.

We have all managed to stay free of stray paint-balls thus far, and are within 50 feet of the flag location when we see that their flag is guarded by Uriah and one of the initiates. We slip into a wooded area and quietly make our plan. They have the flag on a second story balcony from an old restaurant. There are exactly 2 ways to get up there and they are each guarding one of them.

We decide to have Ada and I take the outside stairs, drawing more attention, and probably their fire to us. We are hoping to take them out before they get us, but we are willing to take one for the team if needed. Ana will slip inside of the building and go up that way, hopefully grabbing the flag once the two guards have been neutralized.

Ada heads up first, and easily takes out the initiate that is guarding that section, while I have remained out of sight. He calls for Uriah, just as we expected, and Uriah comes running his way. He has no problem avoiding Ada's shots and takes her out with ease. Now is my turn to go on the offensive. I slip up the stairs without making a sound and peak inside to see that Ana is already inside and near the door to the balcony. Uriah is facing her direction and I can tell that, if she gets to the door before I can get to Uriah, she will not have a chance.

I make the decision to bring the attention to myself instead and I shoot a paint-ball directly at the railing. Just as I hoped, he turns back towards me, just as I step out into the open. We both draw our guns and open fire, splattering each other simultaneously with at least 20 paint-balls each. This draws the attention of the nearby teams, but no one can get to the balcony fast enough to stop Ana from bolting out and grabbing the flag. I radio to my team, confirming that our flag is still safe, and we are officially the winners.

We head back to the compound and the initiates are still in full celebration mode, which gets even better when we tell them that they don't have to come to training until after lunch. Tobias and I take a long, hot shower together, before heading to bed. The initiates may have the morning off, but we still have to work. I love being in leadership, but it does get exhausting at times.


	78. Forgiveness?

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I saw a picture of Miles Teller online earlier and out made me want another chapter with Peter.

_  
Tris

Another week of initiation has passed. We had the final fights on Friday, and posted the rankings that night. No one did so poorly that they are at risk off elimination at this time, but there are 6 that will be dealing with punishment tomorrow. The Dauntless born initiates have not changed in rank too drastically, but there were a number of changes among the transfers. I am especially surprised by the dramatic change that we have seen in Franklin. Maybe I have finally gotten through his thick skull. The rankings are as follows.

Dauntless born:  
1\. Grant  
2\. Braden  
3\. Lanie  
4\. Claire  
5\. Liam  
6\. Noah  
7\. Camilla  
8\. Aimee  
9\. Leo  
10\. Xander

Transfers:  
1\. Ana  
2\. Aaron  
3\. Ada  
4\. Spencer  
5\. Franklin  
6\. Tanner  
7\. Krista  
8\. Sienna  
9\. Logan  
10\. Sarah  
11\. Winston  
12\. Zoe

Aimee, Leo, Xander, Sarah, Winston, and Zoe all spend Saturday morning scrubbing floors... bathroom floors, to be exact. They are far from happy about this, but maybe this will help motivate them a bit more.

Tobias and I lay low pretty much all weekend, spending some time catching up with work, but mostly spending our time together. On Sunday night, we have a very romantic dinner... and evening together. I am not sure my life could get any better than it is right now.

Monday is spent getting the initiates started with their first rounds of simulation, which is sort of interesting to see from this side of things. This is the schedule for the rest of the week, which allows T.J. and I to duck out when we need to focus on our leadership duties, since Uriah and Lauren can handle it alone when needed.

On Thursday, I leave training just before lunch to head to the infirmary for my checkup and yearly physical. As soon as I check in at the front desk, I am taken back to as exam room rather than having to wait forever for my appointment... I am guessing that this is a perk of being one of the bosses around here. The nurse aid comes in and quickly takes my vitals and draws my blood for lab work.

Two minutes later Carolina comes in to do my work up. We spend a bit of time chit-chatting while she does her job. She's really an excellent nurse and I think I've decided that when the head nurse retires in a few months, Carolina will be first in line for the job. I haven't told her anything yet because I need to discuss it with the upper management here at the Infirmary, but I highly doubt they will go against my decision on this. After that I have a quick visit with the doctor and I am on my way out.

Since I knew I was not needed at initiation, I offered to keep Eve for the afternoon while Christina and Zeke are both at work because the daycare is closed today while being remodeled. However, since I got done with my appointment so quickly, I have some time to waste before Chris meets me here with the baby.

I sit down in the lobby with my tablet and spend about 45 minutes working on some housing reassignments that I've been holding off on for a while now. As I am working on reassigning various families to their new homes, I receive a follow-up email on an apartment that just became available after the couple decided to downsize since their children have all moved out. The apartment is just a few doors away from Zeke and Christina. I'm looking at photos of the apartment and can't help but imagine Tobias I living there.

It is a beautiful four bedroom corner apartment with a huge open floor plan, an amazing view from the plethora of windows, and a huge balcony. I know it's bigger than we need for just the two of us, but it never hurts to dream, and technically since we are both in leadership we do qualify to select whatever apartment we want. I love our apartment, but maybe... just maybe... we can talk about moving into a bigger place sometime soon.

Christina arrives with Eve asleep in her carrier, and we manage to transfer the carrier from Christina's chest to mine, without her waking up. Chris heads straight to work while I gather my stuff back together and grab the baby's bag. Just as I turn to head out, I see Peter wave as he is waking through the waiting room towards me. I give him a small smile and wait until he reaches me.

"Hey, Tris." He says with a smile. "Who is this?"  
"This is Eve." I reply, turning slightly so he can see her face. "She is Christina's daughter."  
"She is adorable." He says, while gently touching the back of her hand.  
"We sure think so." I laugh quietly.  
"So, Tris, do you think we could talk for a few minutes?" He asks, sounding somewhat shy.  
"Sure. Let's go sit somewhere a little quieter, so she doesn't wake up."

He nods and we head out of the infirmary and to a little area that I know will be quiet enough. We sit quietly... and awkwardly for a few minutes. I decide to give him a few moments to gather his thoughts, before I say anything. Just as I am about to break the silence, he starts talking.

"So I'm sure that you wondering what I want to talk to you about." He says.  
"Yeah."  
"Well, I have been wanting to come see you for a while, but I couldn't seem to get the nerve up to seek you out. I guess I was just in the right place at the right time today."  
"If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing there? Is everything ok?" I ask.  
"Everything is great, Tris, it really is. I was at the infirmary for one of my monthly follow-up visits. They wanted me to come back monthly four the first year, to monitor my recovery after my surgery. They have also been scanning every three months to watch for regrowth of the tumor."  
"And?"  
"Everything looks good so far. Next month should be my last monthly visit and I will only have to come in once or twice a year after that. But everything seems to be over with that now." He explains.  
"How are you... feeling? You know physically and... like mood and emotional stuff."  
"Physically, I am great. I feel better than I ever have before. Emotionally... that is harder to quantify. I can say for sure that I can tell a difference. I mean, I am not angry all the time like before and a lot less impulsive. I can certainly say that I haven't thought about throwing anyone in the chasm lately."

At the last statement, his eyes go wide and I can tell that he regrets his last statement. There is a heavy silence better us for a few seconds, before I burst out laughing. I have to work to control myself, so I don't wake the baby. He sits with a stunned look on his face. I am not sure if his expression is from what he said, my reaction, or both. He stares at me for a few moments, watching me try to restrain my laughter before he shakes his head and chuckles softly.

"Seriously, Tris? How in the world do you, of all people, find that funny?" He says with a smirk.  
"I really don't know. It just seems like a hundred year ago." I shrug. "We are both such different people now." He takes a deep breath before speaking.  
"I really regret what I did... what I tried to do that night."  
"We both know that the tumor had a lot to do with many of the things that you did back then."  
"I know that, logically, but... I just wish I could go back in time and change so many of the things that I did in the last few years. I know what the tumor did and how it affected my brain and decision making... but it was still me that did those things."  
"That's all true, and you can't go back and change the past. But, what you can do is change your future, and never make those mistakes again. That's all any of us can do after all, learn from our past and try to make better choices in the future."  
"I will never expect you to forgive me for everything that I did to you, I mean, I doubt I will ever forgive myself. I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am... for everything."  
"I do forgive you, Peter." I say, as shocked at my own words as he appears.  
"You do? How... I mean... why?"  
"I once read a quote that said 'The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' And I guess I have decided that I am strong enough to find forgiveness." We sit in silence for a least a full minute before Peter speaks.  
"I also wanted to thank you."  
"For what?"  
"You saved my life. If it hadn't been for you, they may not have found that stupid tumor in time to remove it... and, eventually, it would have killed me."  
"I didn't really do anything. I was just in the right place at the right time... or the right place at the wrong time... or wrong place at the right time... or whatever. But anyway, I didn't really do anything other than kick you and knock you out."  
"It's more than that. You were there for me and you were kind to me, when I didn't deserve anything but your hate. And I don't feel like I ever properly thanked you for that."  
"Well, you're welcome."  
"I better get going." Peter says, looking at his watch. " I have to get back to work. It was really nice talking to you, Tris."  
"It was nice talking to you too."

We both stand up and he gives me a, somewhat awkward, side hug and walks away. I stand there for a few more minutes, still processing what just happened. I decide to head back to check on how the initiates are doing with the simulations.

When I get back, I see that they have initiates running through a simulation in all four rooms art the moment. Lauren is monitoring the computers that are running all of them and Uriah and Tobias are getting the next 4 ready for their turns.

As soon as I am through the door, and Uriah notices me there with Eve, he comes to take the baby for a bit. Eve, who thankfully had already awoken, was more than happy to go see Uncle Uriah. This gives me a good opportunity to talk to T.J. for a few minutes about what happened with Peter. He does not seem surprised about any of it.

I decide to stick around for the rest of the day with the trainees. Tobias, Uriah, and I all talking turn with helping with the initiates and taking care of the baby. I love watching how T.J. interacts with Eve. He is so gentle and sweet with her, and she completely lights up when she sees him. It really makes me look forward to the future, and the two of us starting a family together. After training is over, we head to the dining hall for dinner. Christina and Zeke meet us there and take Eve home after dinner.

After we get home, we decide to watch a movie and curl up on the couch together. Before I know it, I am waking up as Tobias is scoping me up in his arms. Maybe one of these days I won't be so exhausted from spending so much time working and will I be able make it through an entire movie without falling asleep. I curl into his warmth as he pulls the blankets over us both and drift peacefully of to sleep.


	79. The Calm Before

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I have had the scenario for this chapter and the next in mind for a long time, and just needed to get to it. You are getting three chapters in a row today because, while I wanted to break it up into individual chapters, I feel that they need to go up all together.

* * *

Tobias

It's Friday, and this marks three end of stage 2. Some of the rankings are dramatically different so far, but of top three transfers are still the triplets. Tris and I are pretty certain that they are all divergent, but have yet to say anything to them about it. We plan to pull them aside this weekend and talk to them... to help them figure out how to stay under the radar. After the simulations are completed today, we will post the rankings, though we are expecting that they will stay pretty much the same.

Tris got a call from the infirmary early this morning, asking her to come back in today to discuss her test results, that apparently are a little abnormal. I was a bit concerned, and offered to go with her, but she assured me that the nurse said that there was nothing to worry about, and she would go alone while I helped with the simulations.

After our morning workout, she goes straight to the infirmary, while I head to training. She sends me a text message after she finishes her appointment to let me know that everything is fine and that she has to deal with some housing issues before coming to training. I tell her that things are going smoothly with the initiates and not to worry about coming here before lunch. She and I make plans to meet in the dinning hall for a quick lunch and then she wants me to run an errand with her before we go back to training.

"Four." I hear her call out to me, before I enter the room. I turn to see a grin on her face, as she waves me over to her. She leads me to a quiet, secluded hallway. As soon as we are out of sight, she pulls me to her and kisses me, deeply.  
"Not that I am complaining, I will never complain when my beautiful wife wants to kiss me. But, what brought that on?"  
"Nothing particular, I just really felt like we both needed that right now." She says with a huge smile. "Now let's go eat quickly so we can get over to take care of some leadership duties before the initiates are back from lunch."  
"Speaking of that. What are we going to do?" I ask.  
"I have a housing issue that I really could use your help with."  
"I thought you were holding of on most of those until after initiation was over."  
"I was working on a few requests yesterday and came across one that I think needs attention and was hoping to get your opinion on it."

We head into the dinning hall and finish lunch within 15 minutes. She tells me that we need to go check out something regarding apartment 1046. Once we get there, she unlocks the door and grabs some papers off of the counter. She looks around the room, with the same grin on her face, that has been there since I met her for lunch, for a few minutes without saying a word.

"So what's up?"  
"Hmm?" She replied, distracted in thought.  
"You said that you needed help with something here. What did you need?"  
"Will you take a look around the apartment with me. I need to give it a full once over before moving forward with the potential new occupants."  
"Sure." I say, though I find it a bit strange.

She doesn't usually have to look over the apartments before someone moves in, but I figure that there must be a reason for this circumstance and follow along. The apartment is beautiful. It has a nice layout, and is at least twice as big as our apartment. As we go from room to room, Tris is taking notes and checking through the paperwork that she picked up when we arrived. We finish looking it over and return to the living room.

"So what do you think of the place, babe?" She asks.  
"It is beautiful. But, what do you need me to help you with?"  
"I think we should move here."  
"Move here?"  
"I really think that this apartment would be perfect for us." She starts, and then continues, getting faster and faster as she speaks.  
"Like you said, it is beautiful. I also love that it it right down the hall from Zeke and Christina. It is so much bigger than out place. Not that I don't live our apartment, I just think that we need something a bit bigger. This place just became available yesterday, and I really think we should take it. Let me show you what I had in mind." She takes me by the hand and leads me through the apartment again.  
"If course this is the living room, and the kitchen is over there. I thought that this would be a great spot for a big dining table." She then leads me down the hallway, pointing into rooms as we go.  
"So the apartment has for bedrooms. I think the first one would be good as a guest room. I think that this one would make a great home office. This would be or master bedroom since it has an en-suite bathroom. And this room..." She pauses, while leading me into the room across the hall from the master bedroom.  
"This room would be very special, I think. I think that over here we could put a large dresser... a chair over here... and right here... right here would be the perfect place for the... crib."  
"The crib?" I ask.  
"Yep." She replies, with a wide grin. "The baby is going to need a crib."  
"Are you saying that you're... that we're... having a baby?" I stutter.  
"We are. Are you... happy?"  
"Oh, Tris. I could not be any happier." I say as I scoop her into my arms and kiss her.  
"I know that we were not planning on having kids for a couple years but..."  
"Who cares what we had planned. We are having a baby and I am thrilled." I pause for a moment. "Are you happy about it?"  
"I am beyond happy Tobias. I can't even come up with the words to express how happy I am."  
"Did they say how far along you are?"  
"They will have a better estimate once I have my first ultrasound, in about a month. But they are estimating that I am about 3 weeks pregnant. It is perfect, I will have the baby and be back at work before the next initiate class starts."  
"You know, you wouldn't have to do training next year, if you didn't want to?"  
"I know. But, even though it is a lot of work doing training on top of leadership, I love doing it."  
"Whatever you want, my love. You can always see how you feel, closer to next fall. Whatever you decide is fine with me." She gives new a quick peck on the lips.  
"So, when do you want to move?" I ask.  
"Are you really OK with moving here? If you don't want to, we can figure out how to make it work there. I mean, we could re-arrange the apartment to make it fit. I just thought that..." She starts rambling before I cut her off.  
"Honey, slow down. This is perfect. I love this apartment."  
"Are you sure?"  
"I don't care where we live. As long as we are there together, it doesn't matter to me one bit."  
"I will get Max to sign off on the paperwork on Monday, then we can move in any time after that."  
"How does next weekend sound? We really don't have that much stuff to move so if we get it all packed up over the week, we should have no problem moving it then. I am sure we can get some help."  
"That sounds good to me. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"  
"Probably, but it never hurts to hear it again."  
"Tobias James Prior, I love you so much I can't think straight sometimes."  
"And I love you with everything I am."

We look around the apartment a little longer before we have to head back to training. She still has a huge grin plastered on her face, and I think I probably do as well. I make sure I get my facial expression under control before we walk back into the room, but I think it may not look 100% normal, because Uriah gives me a strange look. Hopefully the initiates don't notice anything unusual.

We have decided to wait a little while before telling anyone about the baby, but I can tell already, that this is going to be hard to keep it to ourselves. We get through training, get the stage two rankings posted, and punishments handed out to under performing initiates, before heading straight home. We were planning to meet our friends for dinner, but decided to skip out and hopefully avoid the possibility of divulging our little secret too early. Uriah already seems suspicious that something outgoing on.

While we are eating dinner, we decide that we really don't want to wait to tell everyone, and come up with our plan to reveal or news to our friends. We plan a dinner party, and we will tell them then. We get everyone to agree to come over for dinner tomorrow night at 6 p.m.

Tris and I get everything that we will need to prepare dinner on Saturday morning and start getting ready right after lunch. Once everyone is there, we sit down and eat. After dinner, they all help us clean up before dessert. While everyone is eating their cake Tris stands up to make the big announcement. She didn't tell me exactly how she would tell them, she just said that she would figure something out.

"OK, everybody. I have a little something to admit. Four and I had a specific reason that we invited you all to come join us. The reason is... we have a bit of a favor to ask from you all." She says.  
"Whatever it is... my answer is no." Zeke laughs, and then groans when Christina smacks him on the back of the head.  
"Whatever, Zeke. We both know that Tris has you wrapped around her little finger and you will do just about anything she says." Uriah chuckles.  
"That is not true." Zeke begins to protest, but starts laughing. "OK, so maybe it is true, but how can you blame me? She is like the younger sibling that I always wanted."  
"Hey!" Uriah shouts. "Are you forgetting your spectacular younger brother over here?"  
"I am not forgetting anything. I said she was the younger sibling that I always wanted... not the one I am struck with." We can all see where this is going. If not stopped soon, this will turn into another episode of the Pedrad brothers show.  
"Anyway!" Tris says, loudly enough to shut them up. "What I was saying was that we need to ask you ask for a little favor. So next weekend we were hoping that some, or all of you would be available to help us move to our new apartment. I know it is sort of short notice, and we won't be mad at all of you can't... We were just hopeful that you would be free to give us a hand."  
"You guys are moving?" Christina asks.  
"Yep." I say, simply.  
"When did you decide to move?" Marlene asks.  
"Yesterday." I reply.  
"Why?" Christina asks.  
"Well, we love this apartment..." Tris begins. "But it really is pretty small. I mean... where would we put the... crib?"  
"Crib?!" Several of our friends shout.  
"Yeah... the baby will need to sleep somewhere." She says with a huge grin.  
"You're pregnant?" Christina screeches.  
"I am." Tris nods. Everyone then starts talking at once, giving congratulations.  
"So, I have a couple questions for you." Marlene says. "First, how far along are you?"  
"Not very far. They are estimating about three weeks. Right now they are guessing that I am due around May 31st. We will know more when I go in for a follow up in about a month and I can get my first ultrasound."  
"So my second question. Can I be your midwife?"  
"I was really hoping that you would be." Tris replies.  
"I still have all my maternity clothes that you can use, plus anything that Eve has outgrown, if you have a girl. Oh, Trissy, this is so exciting!"

We spend quite a long time talking about the baby and the apartment. Christina and Zeke are thrilled that it is so close to them. They all agree too come help us move next weekend. After they all leave, Tris and I clean up, take a long shower, and then head to bed. We spend about two hours lying in bed, planning for the move... but mostly talking about the baby. Soon after, we fall fast asleep, with my hand resting on her belly... right over our child.

* * *

The initiates had their job shadowing from Monday to Thursday this week, leaving Tris and I free to focus on our regular jobs all week. This also have us more time in the evenings to work on packing up the apartment, instead of spending time at night working. By Thursday night we have everything, except the few things that we will need in the mean time, packed up and ready to go on Saturday. Our friends are all planning to come over first thing Saturday morning to move all of our stuff over and get it unpacked.

Today the initiates all have to go through their fear landscapes today. This takes all morning and then Tris, Uriah, Lauren, and I spend the afternoon analyzing the results to determine the final rankings. All of the initiates are ranked together now and, as always, the initiates will choose their jobs based on their ranking. Also anyone ranked in the bottom half of the group will be on probation to prove themselves and secure their place inn the faction. The final rankings are as follows:

1\. Ana (transfer)  
2\. Ada (transfer)  
3\. Grant (Dauntless born)  
4\. Aaron (transfer)  
5\. Braden (Dauntless born)  
6\. Spencer (transfer)  
7\. Liam (Dauntless born)  
8\. Claire (Dauntless born)  
9\. Franklin (transfer)  
10\. Lanie (Dauntless born)  
11\. Krista (transfer)  
12\. Tanner (transfer)  
13\. Noah (Dauntless born)  
14\. Sienna (transfer)  
15\. Xander (Dauntless born)  
16\. Aimee (Dauntless born)  
17\. Logan (transfer)  
18\. Sarah (transfer)  
19\. Camilla (Dauntless born)  
20\. Winston (transfer)  
21\. Leo (Dauntless born)  
22\. Zoe (transfer)

We gather all the initiates together for the rankings and for them to select their jobs. Once they have finished, just like every year, a full on party breaks out. Tris and I spend about an hour at the party, talking to the initiates and making our presence at the party known, then we head home.

Our move on Saturday goes more smoothly than we could have planned and we are as moved in and unpacked before dinner. I am so happy to be settled in to our new home. We were happy in our old apartment, and a part of me will miss living there. That apartment served me well for the last three years, but here is the place that we are building our future together. Here is the place that we are building our family together.


	80. The Storm

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

I really debated over whether or not to include this part of the story, but decided that I really wanted to, even though it is not a very pleasant part of the story line. I really felt like this chapter, the previous one, and the next needed to be posted at the same time.

* * *

Tris  
-

It has been two and a half weeks since we moved into the new apartment and I have to say, I love it here. It's so much roomier than in the old apartment... which didn't stay empty for very long. A few days after we moved out, I received a request from Jake for a new apartment. He and Lena have been living together since they finished initiation four years ago and he really wanted to be on his own now. Though I am not sure he will be on his own for too long, because he seems to be getting very serious with his girlfriend.

Now that initiation is finished for the year, and Tobias and I can focus entirely on our leadership duties, things are a lot less busy and exhausting for us. I am currently about six and a half weeks pregnant and totally feeling the symptoms. I was going to have an ultrasound at the beginning of this week, but had to postpone until next week because of a meeting in Amity that could not be rescheduled.

It is currently Thursday night and I have been feeling particularly terrible all day long. I can't seem to keep any food down today and even drinking too much water is giving me a stomach ache. Tobias tried to convince me to get checked out at the infirmary, but I don't want to go unless it gets worse. If I ran to the infirmary every time I felt a little sick to my stomach, I would have spent the last week there non-stop.

After dinner, that I can barely eat, T.J. insists on doing the dishes while I relax on the couch. It is only about 8 p.m. and I am exhausted and decide to take a nice long bath before going to sleep. It seems to do the trick, because as soon as I get into my pajamas and climb into bed, I am drifting off to sleep.

I jolt awake from a nightmare, that I can't even remember once awake, and look at the clock to see that it is's just after midnight. I suddenly feel the all to familiar nausea that has been plaguing me and run to the bathroom, thankful that it is so close, because I barely make it to the toilet before losing the meager contents of my stomach. I get a drink of water and then settle back down to a fitful sleep.

_I am in the training room setting up for the newest group of initiates to arrive for their first day of training. None of the others have arrived yet, so I begin to get everything ready on my own. I grab a few large boxes of throwing knives and place them on a table so I can start setting up the target stations. I grab the paper targets and take them over to hang them up._

_I have just finished putting up the last target, when I hear a noise from the other side of the room. I turn, expecting to see T.J., Uriah, or Lauren, but instead see that it is the group of initiates. It surprises me that they are so early, but something else is off about them. Their eyes seem so lifeless and cold... almost like they are all... in a sim. The crowd of people begins to grow rapidly, it's not just the initiates anymore._

_Then I hear it, it starts as a whisper but grows to a roar as the entire crowd joins in. Divergent, they whisper. The group gets larger and closer as they get louder in their chant. Divergent, they say. I begin to panic as I realize that I will not make it out of this alive. I try to run, but I have nowhere to go, as I have the target area behind me and the crowd closing in on me from all sides. Divergent, they shout. As I search for some way out of this, they all begin to take knives out of the boxes that I brought out before. I know what will happen, I know how it will all end. I will be cut to ribbons by dozens of knives_,_ and they will all watch as it happens. Divergent, they scream._

_When the first blade comes soaring at me, I barely react, feeling the cool metal barely graze my skin as it pins my sleeve to the board behind me. More knives follow quickly, pinning me crudely to the board in at least a dozen places, preventing new from moving an inch. In this moment, I feel nothing, no pain from blades scraping past my skin, no anger at the people that are doing this to me, and no fear at my impending death. It will all be over soon._

_I see the glimmer of silver, and look up to see a man that I have never seen before holding a large dagger, flipping it around in his hand. I see him pull his arm back and release the blade. It is as if the world is in slow motion as I watch the knife, flying towards me at an agonizingly slow speed. The moment it reaches me, all is silent. There is not a sound in the room, not from me, and not from the crowd that has gathered to watch me die. I watch as the blade pierces through my abdomen, and yet I remain silent as the searing pain takes over my body._

I awaken and bolt upright in the bed, thankful to be free of the grips of my nightmare, but I am not entirely free of it. The pain... the agonizing, gut wrenching pain in my stomach remains, even as my head clears and I am fully awake. I try to move, to do something to fully pull myself back to reality, but the pain is too great. I fall back against my pillow and try to turn  
to wake Tobias, but I can't move... I can't speak. Just as the pain reaches a point, that I feel death is inevitable, the world goes black.

* * *

Tobias  
-

I awaken at about 5 am and really don't feel like going back to sleep, so I slip out of bed, shut off the alarm clock, and take a long hot shower before getting dressed. I make a simple breakfast and set it out on the table before heading back to the bedroom to wake Tris at 6.

I call out to her once I am back in the room and, not surprisingly, get no response. I turn on the light, walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, and gently run my hand up and down her side since that usually helps get her up more gently. She does not even budge when I touch her, so stand back up and lean over her to give her a kiss. Still nothing. I decide to throw caution to the wind and, instead of waking her slowly and gently, I throw the covers back off of her, and step back quickly.

I nearly collapse the moment I look back at her. Her pajama pants, the sheets, and even the blanket that was draped over her are all covered in blood. I can't even fathom the sheer amount of blood that I am seeing at this moment. I am frozen in fear for a few seconds before my instincts kick in and I can take action. I grab her by the shoulders and shake... hard... but even this does not rouse her. I grab my phone and immediately call for a medic, fighting the urge to just pick her up in my arms and run to the infirmary. Logically I know that it is safer to wait for them, but it is all I do to wait here.

After I have spoken to emergency services and confirmed that they are on the way, I run to open the door and leave it that way so I can get back to Tris. She is still unresponsive when I speak to her, but she is still breathing... and unfortunately it seems still bleeding. As I wait I keep talking softly to her.  
"Stay with me, Tris. You have to stay with me. I can't lose you. Please, Tris. You die, I die."

It only takes about 10 minutes for the medics to arrive, but those seem like the longest 10 minutes of my entire life. Once they have her loaded onto a gurney, they quickly perform an assessment, ask me some questions, and I let them know about the baby. According to what I am able to hear as they are quickly writing down her information, her breathing is shallow and her pulse is weak. They put an oxygen mask on her face and get her hooked up to monitoring equipment, before wheeling her out the door. They load the gurney into the transport cart and drive away, telling me to meet them at the infirmary, because there is no room for me to ride along.

I grab my keys and rush out the door. As soon as I am in the hallway, I see Zeke walking through his door, obviously awoken by the noise and chaos. He looks as me questioning as he walks over.  
"What's going on?" He asks.

"It's Tris... I don't know what... I just found her and... so much blood... I can't... I have to go... she... they took her... infirmary." I can't seem to form a complete thought. Zeke's eyes widen in fear, probably at my total loss of composure more than my actual words.  
"Go, man. I will get Chris. We will be right behind you."

I run down the hall, and don't stop until I am through the doors of the infirmary and at the check in desk. I have to wait a few moments for someone to come to the desk, and take that time to work on getting my breathing under control. When the desk clerk arrives, I see that it is Libby, one of my former initiates from the year before Tris.  
"Hey, Four." She says. "What can I do for you?"  
"It's Tris. They just brought her in. It was an emergency. I need to know where they took her."  
"Tris is here?"  
"Yes. She would have been brought in a few minutes ago. I need to know what is going on with my wife." I feel unsteady on my feet and I think she takes notice of that.  
"OK." She says, coming around the counter, placing a hand on my back, and leading me towards the seating area. "I am going to go and find out what's happening and where she is. I need you to sit down for me." She guides me to sit on a couch and turns to walk away.

I sit alone, with my head in my hands for a few minutes before I hear the doors to the infirmary fly open. I turn to see Christina rush in, closely followed by Zeke pushing Eve in her stroller. They spot me immediately and run over to me. I tell them briefly how I found Tris when I woke up this morning. Christina sits beside me and pulls me into her arms. She continues to hold me tight as she whispers that everything is going to be alright. I feel Zeke sit on my other side and simply lay his hand on my shoulder. We sit like that for a while before Zeke tells me that he will be right back, gets up, and walks away with the stroller. Christina explains that Hana came to pick up the baby for them. Zeke is back in a few moments and sits back down beside me.

"Four?" I hear a voice say gently. I peel myself out of Christina's arms and turn to see Libby pulling up a chair and sitting to face me.  
"What's going on Libby?" I ask, fearful of the expression on her face. "Please don't tell me she's..." I trail of, unable to even say the word.  
"No... no. She's still OK right now. She's critical but stable. I don't know much at this point, but wanted to give you an update on what's going on right now. When she was brought in, her breathing was a bit irregular and her pulse was weak. Since they began treatment, her breathing has regulated and she is only on a tiny bit of oxygen support. They have also given her two blood transfusions, which is helping with her pulse and heart rate. She is still bleeding and they are continuing to give blood while the are running tests to identify the source. The doctor said that she is certain that Tris has suffered a miscarriage, but that normally a miscarriage does not result in that much blood loss, and that they need more tests,and possibly surgery to identify the cause of the excessive bleeding. We need to have these consent forms signed for approval to perform the surgery if necessary." I sign the forms quickly and Libby stands and takes my hand into hers. "I want you to know that she has the best medical team possible working on her and they will do everything in their power to ensure a good outcome." She turns and walks away.  
"Good outcome." I mutter, astonished at how preposterous that phrase sounds, considering the gravity of the situation.

We sit, waiting for any news for nearly two hours, without anyone coming to give its any update. When the nurse finally comes out to see us, she simply says that Tris is out of surgery and that it was successful. She is hesitant to give any additional details and says that the doctor will explain further. Only I am allowed to go back to see Tris at the moment, so Zeke and Christina wait in the lobby.

I am led to her room, and go weak when I see her. She is unconscious and looks more fragile than I have ever seen her. I take comfort in the steady beeping of her monitors, letting us know that, though she may look weak at the moment, her heart is strong. She is still strong... and I must be strong for her. The nurse tells me that Dr. Zimmer will be in as soon as possible to talk to me. She tells me that if Tris wakes up before she arrives, and is experiencing any pain, that she is hooked up to a pain pump. She can use the button to dispense a bit of medication. She shows me how it works so I can help Tris if needed.

I sit by Tris and take her hand gently into mine. After about 15 minutes, she starts to move a bit and I can tell that she is waking up. I rub the back of her hand gently as she wakes up. I see confusion on her face as she takes in her surroundings and I gently try to assure her that everything is OK. She tries to shift in the bed a little and winces in pain. I press the button for the pain pump once for her and can tell that it quickly takes effect. I hand her the button and explain to her how to use it if needed. I can tell that her mind is clearing as she is coming fully out of the haze from anesthesia.

"What is going on?" She asks, as she reaches down towards her stomach.  
"Be careful, Honey." I say, grabbing her hand. "You just had surgery."  
"Surgery? Why did I have surgery? What happened?"  
"I am not totally certain of everything, but the doctor should be here any time now to explain." I can practically see the thoughts going through her mind as she processes everything.  
"But I had surgery?"  
"Yes."  
"On my stomach?"  
"Yes."  
"What about..." She pauses. "What about the... what about the baby?" I can't seem to answer so I just shake my head.  
"So our baby... died."  
"Yes. The baby is gone." I choke out.  
"Oh." She says, nearly in a whisper. She stares straight ahead as a single tear rolls down her cheek. I reach over and wipe it away, and she leans her face into my hand.  
"I am so sorry, Honey." I say, fighting back my own tears.  
"Me too." She says, softly. Just then, the door opens and two women enter.  
"Hey, Tris. Do you remember me? I am Dr. Zimmer and I am sure you remember Carolina." She says, and Tris simply nods. Then she turns to me and shakes my hand. "And you must be Four."  
"Hi Dr." I reply.  
"So we need to talk about a few things. Is it alright if we sit down for a few minutes to discuss everything?" Tris nods again.  
"OK, so I am not sure exactly what you have been told so far." Tris remains silent, taking slow, measured breaths.  
"Not much." I say, tightening my grip on her hand. "Just that she probably lost the baby, lost a lot of blood, and had to have surgery."  
"You are correct, she lost the baby, and I am so sorry. But there is more to it that I need to explain. Please feel free to ask any questions. The first thing that you need to understand is that this is not your fault. There is nothing you did to cause this, and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Tris, you had an ectopic pregnancy. What that means, is that when the embryo implanted, it wasn't in your uterus as it should have been. Instead, it implanted in your left Fallopian tube.

As the pregnancy progressed, the tube was not capable of sustaining the growth and it ruptured. That is why there was the amount of blood loss that you experienced. We had to give you several blood transfusions and then had to perform surgery to stop the bleeding.

Once we started the surgery, we determined that the damage was quite extensive, and we had to remove both the left Fallopian tube and ovary. Once the removal was complete, we were able to get the bleeding to stop completely. The surgery was successful, but there is more to discuss. During the procedure, before we closed, we checked your right ovary and Fallopian tube. Your Fallopian tube appears to be normal and healthy... but the ovary has some abnormalities. It is undersized and doesn't appear to have formed normally. It does not seem likely to ovulate normally. "  
"What does that mean?" Tris says softly.  
"What that means, is that it appears very unlikely that you will be able to conceive a child naturally."  
"I can't have a baby?" She says, with an emotionless quality to he voice that frightens me.  
"It does not seem likely that you will be able to become pregnant naturally, but there are other options."

She continues explaining the various options, including fertility treatments, surrogacy, and adoption. I can tell that Tris has completely tuned her out. She then explains that Tris will need to stay in the hospital for a few days to be monitored before going home and remaining in bed for about a week. Then she is to be on limited duties and to take it easy physically for two more weeks. Once she finishes explaining, she asks if we have any questions and then leaves. Carolina remains in the room for a few more minutes before she too leaves.

I sit with Tris, quietly for a few minutes before I remember that Zeke and Christina are still waiting in the lobby. I ask her if she wants to see them and she nods. I go get them, explain briefly what the doctor said, and let them know not to be too surprised if Tris doesn't talk much. They come and sit with her, mostly quietly. No one even seems to know what to say.

After about an hour, I excuse myself to run home to get a bag together to bring back for both of us, while they stay with her. Once I arrive home, I throw some stuff together in a bag and decide to take a quick shower, realizing that I still have her blood on my clothes. I throw the clothes straight into the trash and step into steaming hot water. As I am standing under the stream of water, my tears begin to flow. I cry until I have no more tears left. I have to get it all out now. I cannot let Tris see me like this. I must be strong for her.

On the way back to the infirmary, I call Max to let him know what has happened, and he tells me that we both need to take off as much time as we need. He assures me that he will make sure our duties are covered and to let him know if we need anything. I let him know about some meetings that will need to be covered over the next few days and he says that he will check our schedules and either cancel or make sure someone covers all of the meetings.

When I get back to Tris, she is asleep, with Christina and Zeke each holding one of her hands. We sit and talk quietly, careful not to wake her. Before they leave Zeke asks if there is anything that I need him to do. I am hesitant to ask this much of him, but I finally ask him if he could get Uriah or someone to help him get rid of our mattress and bedding since I know that ours is soaked in Tris' blood. I want to have some new stuff delivered before Tris is discharged. He says that they will have it taken care of today and that he will go back for the delivery.

Once they have left, I settle back into the chair next to Tris and take her hand back into mine. I sit and watch the even, regular pattern of her breathing, and am comforted in the warmth of her touch. I sit that way for hours, just watching her sleep peacefully. It nearly kills me to think about the fact that I could have lost her today. I don't know what I would do without her.


	81. Healing

I can only take credit for my own ideas... everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

You may be really hating me right now, but please stick in there with me. Things pretty much suck for them right now, but things will get better.

* * *

Tris

Monday

Numb. That is they only way to describe how I am feeling. Numb. I feel pain, physically... but emotionally... I am completely numb. I want to weep for the loss of my child... but I can't. I can barely even speak when people are trying to talk to me. All of our friends have been there for us, visiting me and doing as much as possible to take care of us both. I appreciate that they are there for me... but I can't help but wish I could just be alone. I can't even manage to string together more than two words when people talk to me. I don't want to be this way... but I can't seem to figure out how to stop. Thankfully everyone has had unending patience with me.

It is Monday afternoon, and the doctor has determined that I am doing well enough to be released. Carolina comes to sit with me, while Tobias gets all the paperwork filled out, and she talks to me... while I sit silently. After that is completed, he brings a wheelchair into the room to take me home. I want to protest... to say that I can walk on my own, but even I know that is not true. As soon as I am home, he takes me straight to the bedroom to lie down. I notice that we have a bigger bed and new bedding.

"The bed?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah. We needed... something new. So I decided to upgrade to a king size." He says. And I know without him saying, why we needed a new mattress. I ruined ours.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Honey." He begins, as he kneels down in front in me and pulls my shaking hands into his. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Are you ready to get into bed?"

"Not yet."

"Do you need the bathroom?"

"Yes, sorry." I reply, hating that I can't do this on my own.

"Don't apologize, Tris. I am here to help you... with anything you need."

He helps me to the restroom and steps just outside the door to give me some privacy until I am finished. He then helps me into bed and gets me set-up with water, my book, and the remote for the tv, that he has moved into the bedroom. He sits carefully on the bed next to me and I rest my head on his shoulder while he watches tv. I honestly have no idea what he is watching, because I am not even remotely paying attention. I am simply staring off into space, trying not to think about the things that seem to be the only things I CAN think about. My baby... gone. I probably won't ever be able to get pregnant again. This is all my fault.

Tobias fixes me dinner, and I pick at it for a while, maybe eating three bites before deciding that I am done. After dinner, I sit and flip through the pages of my book, not really reading. After I take my evening dose of medications, I thankfully begin feeling very tired, and go to sleep. I wake a couple times during the night for more pain medication and to use the restroom, but sleep for most of the night.

Numb

Tuesday

My parents come and spend most of the day with me. I still find it strange to see my dad dressed in Dauntless black. Thankfully they don't make me talk much, and do all the talking for me or just sit quietly. While T.J. and my dad are fixing lunch, my mom climbs up on the bed with me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. When they leave after dinner, they gently hug me as if I may break... which, for all I know, I might. I'm probably broken already.

Numb. Broken.

Wednesday

Today is the worst day I have had since this whole thing started. I wish I could cry... but there does not seem to be a single tear inside of me. I am completely empty. Jake and Lena tried to come visit me today, but I could not bear to see anyone, so they visited with Tobias in the living room while I slept.

Numb. Broken. Empty.

Thursday

Christina and Zeke came to visit today, but I could not handle the thought of having visitors. I hate being this way, but I can't seem to change it. I feel like there is nothing left inside. I am nothing more than a hollow shell of myself.

Numb. Broken. Empty. Hollow.

Friday

One week. One entire week has passed since I lost my baby. One week since I found out that I will probably never be able the have a child. One week and I am still a total disaster. I still can't manage to be around anyone other than T.J. right now. I know that he must be getting tired of me at this point, but he would never say that. He is so kind, gentle, and loving with me, and I am nothing but selfish and weak.

Numb. Broken. Empty. Hollow. Weak.

Saturday

I can still barely make myself eat or even manage a simple conversation. I wish I knew why I can't seem to pull myself together. I have not allowed anyone to come visit me in days, because I simply can't deal. I HATE what this is doing to Tobias. He has not said anything, but I can see it all in his eyes. The stress. The anxiety. The sadness. The fear. I see all these things when he looks at me... and it's all my fault. I feel like I am such a failure.

Numb. Broken. Empty. Hollow. Weak. Failure.

Sunday

I don't know what to do, I have nothing to say. I am like a sinking ship. I feel as if I am drowning and I can't manage to get my head above water. Quite simply... I am a disaster.

Numb. Broken. Empty. Hollow. Weak. Failure. Disaster.

Monday

I have a follow up visit at the infirmary today. The doctor checks my incision and let's me know that it is completely healed. I am no longer on total bed rest, but am still supposed to take it easy for a few weeks. The physical pain is completely gone. It may sound crazy, but I sort of wish that I was still in a little bit of pain. At least then... maybe I would be feeling something that I could explain.

* * *

Tobias

Tris and I come back home after her appointment and she climbs right back into bed. I hate that there is nothing more that Ican do to help her get through this. I don't know how to help... so I just sit with her, hold her, and talk to her, knowing that she may not talk back.

We are lying in bed, pretending to watch t.v., but neither of us could even say what is on, when there is a knock at the door. I get up and answer the door to see Zeke and Christina.

"Hey buddy." Zeke says. "How are things today?"

"About the same." I reply.

"I want to go see her." He says.

"I know, but she still doesn't want to see anyone."

"I understand that she says that, but I want to try going to see her anyway. Plus, you and Christina should go to the store to get something to fix for diner."

"She is not really eating much right now either."

"I know, and we are going to work on that too. Trust me. Besides, you really need to get out off this apartment for a little while."

"Come on, Four." Christina says, as she takes my hand and pulls me towards the door.

"OK, thanks." I say as I walk towards the door, still holding tight to her hand. "And Chris... it's Tobias."

"What's Tobias?"

"My real name... it's Tobias."

"Wow. I wasn't sure that you would ever actually tell me that."

"Well I am fairly certain that I can trust you by now. But Christina..."

"I know, I know." She interrupts. "Not in public." At that she pulls me out the door.

* * *

Tris

T.J. leaves the room to answer the door and I can vaguely hear talking, but not well enough to hear what is being said. After a few minutes I hear the door open and close again and I instantly feel guilty. I am sure that it was someone coming to visit me and Tobias had to send them away again. I turn in bed to face away from the door.

I feel him sit beside me on the bed but keep myself turned away, feeling ashamed of myself. I feel his hand on my arm and decide to turn towards him. I am surprised when, instead of Tobias, I see Zeke in front of me. He gives me a small, sad smile, but stays silent for a few moments. I sit up to lean against the headboard and he slides in next to me. We both stay silent for a few moments before he finally decides to break the silence.

"I hate seeing you like this, Tris."

"I'm sorry." I reply softly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You haven't done anything wrong. I just wish there was something that I could do to help you."

"I just feel... so weak."

"You are anything but weak, Tris. You are one of the strongest people that I know. "

"I wish I could believe you when you say that."

"Well, I will just have to keep telling you until you believe me. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could make it better. I wish I could take it all away for you."

"I am so tired. I'm tired of this dead numb feeling inside. I want to let myself feel... something... anything. But I can't... I just can't."

"It is alright to let yourself be sad. You can feel your pain. You can have emotions."

"It's just... so hard. I feel like I am constantly on the edge of falling completely to pieces. And I can't let that happen."

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared that if I let myself fall apart... if I allow myself to break... I won't ever be able to put myself back together again."

"You don't have to do it alone. Everyone will be there for you. All our friends will be there. Chris and I will help you in any way that you need. And you know you can rely on Tobias. He would do anything for you. He loves you more than anything in this world."

"But I can't make him keep taking care of me. I know he is hurting too and I can't seem to do anything but cause him more worry and pain. I don't want to make him resent me because he has to keep taking care of me like this."

"Yes, he is hurting too, but he would never resent you. He loves you, and I think that taking care of you helps him too. He is just taking comfort in the fact that you are still with him. I have never seem him as afraid as he was when they wheeled you away that morning. He didn't know if you were going to make it and he panicked. He was terrified that he was going to lose you... we all were."

I look over at him and see a few tears slip silently down his face. At this point I am fairly certain that I have only cried once... and barely even then. I have been too numb to cry. But suddenly... unexpectedly... it's as if the floodgates have opened and I am overcome in a torrential downpour of tears.

Zeke reaches over, wraps his arms around me, and pulls me into his lap. I curl into him, burying my face in his chest, gripping his shirt as tightly as possible, and cry. More than cry... I sob... I blubber... I bawl... I weep. I cry harder than I would have ever thought possible. I know that I am completely soaking Zeke' s shirt... but I don't care. I don't think I could stop if I tried... and I don't feel like trying to stop anyway.

As strange as it sounds... it feels good to cry. It is a relief to finally get this out of my system. As I sit there in his lap crying, Zeke just sits and holds me, stroking my hair, and whispering to me sweetly, occasionally letting one of his tears fall on top on my head. We stay this way even after I have completely cried myself out. I release my grip on his shirt, and wrap my arms around him.

After a long time, I finally loosen my hold on him and pull my face from his shirt. I lean back slightly and he gives me a small smile before kissing me gently on the forehead. I slide off of his lap and sit beside him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Zeke."

"Anything for you Tris. I just want you to know that Christina and I will always be here for you. You are our family." I want to talk, but don't really know what to say and I think that he can sense this. "What's I your mind?" He asks.

"Too much." I sigh.

"Well, pick one thing, and start with that."

"What were you told about what happened?"

"Tobias told me most of it I think. He told me about why you lost the baby, about the damage, and the surgery that they had to do."

"Did he tell you that the doctor said that I probably will never be able to have a baby?"

"He explained that the doctor said that you would likely be unable to get pregnant naturally, but that there were other options."

"Fertility treatments." I say simply. "I just don't know about that."

"Tell me what your hesitation is for that."

"It's just... well, what it I go through all those treatments and still can't have a baby. I don't know if I can go through all that for nothing."

"I understand that. And, obviously you don't have to decide this right now, but what about adoption?"

"I like that idea better than fertility treatments... but what if..." I trail off.

"What if what?"

"What if he's not ok with adopting."

"Have you talked to him about it?" He asks. I shake my head in reply. "Then you have no way of knowing what he thinks about that."

"But what if... what if he wants a child that's his... biologically, and what if I can't ever give that to him?"

"Let me ask you a question, Tris. We all know that Eve is not biologically my child... but she is still my daughter. She is my baby girl completely. Do you think there is any way in the world that I could love her any more if she came from me?"

"No. I guess I sort of forget about that sometimes. I see you together and it it's like you were always meant to be her daddy."

"I believe that I was... that I am. And someday, maybe soon... maybe a long time from now, I am sure that you two will have a child that is meant to be yours. And no matter how that child comes into your lives... they will be yours completely."

"How is it that you can always make me smile?"

"I am sure I have told you this before. I am like an onion, layer upon layer of awesomeness." He says, and I laugh. "Tris, you have no idea how good is to hear you laugh."

"Thanks for being here... and for just being you, Zeke."

"I mean it when I say that I will ALWAYS be here for you. Like it or not, you are my baby sister and I love you."

"I like it... and I love you too."

"Now, how about we get you out of this bed? They should be back any time now."

"Where did they go anyway?"

"I sent them out shopping so we could talk."

"You sent Tobias shopping with Christina? I thought you were his friend?" I laugh.

"They were just going to get some groceries to fix some dinner. He will be just fine."

He hops of the bed and reaches a hand out to me to help me up. He heads out to the living room while I take a quick shower and change into some clean clothes. It feels good to stand under the steaming hot water. Honestly... it feels good just to feel again. I know that everything IS going to be OK. I know that I am going to be OK.

* * *

Tobias

Christina and I are on our way back to the apartment and I have to say that I am so completely grateful for her. We talked a lot about everything that has been going on and she even makes me comfortable enough to share how I am feeling. We stop by her apartment so she can check on Eve, who is being watched by Uriah and Marlene. As soon as she sees me Eve she squeals and reaches for me to pick her up. I adore this little girl, and hope that someday... somehow Tris and I will have this ourselves.

We then leave her apartment and go back to ours to start getting dinner ready. I am surprised and pleased to see both Tris and Zeke sitting in the living room. Zeke comes to take the shopping bags from me and heads to the kitchen with Christina. Tris stands as I walk over to her and throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

"You OK?" I ask, surprised by the sudden change in her demeanor.

"Not completely. But I can say for sure that I will be."

"I am so glad to hear you say that." I say before kissing her gently on the lips. "I am not sure what exactly turned it all around... but I am happy that I listened to Zeke and left him here with you like he wanted."

"He helped me to realize that I could just let go and allow myself to fall apart. I don't know why that helped... but it really did. But, of course it was not just him that has helped me in this. Everyone has been here for me... but above everything else it has been you. Thank you for being here for me through all this and thank you for not giving up on me."

"I would never give up on you. We are in this together, honey. I love you."

"I love you too." She days before pulling my face forwards her and kissing me softly.

We head to the kitchen to help get dinner ready and then sit down to eat together. Tris doesn't eat much but manages to consume more than just the few bites of food that she had been managing to live off of lately. I know that she is likely to have setbacks, but we have made it through this, and I know we can make it through anything. I know it will take time, but things will get better. There will be a time when life will be great again. It may be a work in process, but together, we are healing.


End file.
